“Okay,” Naruto gritted out, fists tightening, “That’s it. I don’t care what kind of trick this brat’s got, he’s not walking over me like that again.”
Daemon smiled sweetly. “You oughta save yourself the trouble and wet yourself on your own before I force it out of you next..”
Naruto charged with a roar, chakra bursting around him. “Shadow Clone Jutsu!”
Five Narutos blinked into place, surrounding Daemon.
“Oh nooo,” Daemon mocked in a high voice, “I’m surrounded by a bunch of big strong daddies!”
One clone lunged… and was immediately kicked through a tree.
Another tried from behind but Daemon casually turned and slapped it in the face. The clone spun like a top and exploded in a puff of smoke.
“Come on, guys!” Daemon cheered. “Use your heads!”
One clone tried to grab him from behind. Daemon ducked, then donkey-kicked straight back!
POW!
The real Naruto, behind the clone, doubled over and collapsed with crossed eyes and a spit bubble.
“Oof! That hit looked like it bounced!” Daemon teased.
Sasuke, having barely gotten up, wiped his face. “We attack together…NOW!”
“Fire Style: Phoenix Fire Jutsu!” Sasuke hurled rapid flames.
“Wind Style: Rasengan Storm!” Naruto followed with swirling orbs of wind-infused chakra.
Daemon yawned and casually did a backflip onto Sasuke’s face. His sandals slapped Sasuke’s cheeks as he perched there, crouching like a gremlin.
“You’re very kickable,” he said and dropped heel-first onto Sasuke’s stomach.
Sasuke gasped as the wind was knocked out of him, then immediately flailed in the air as his own jutsu blasted Daemon in the face. This, of course, meant it hit Sasuke instead!
His hair frizzed as he flopped into the dirt face-first, his legs sticking up stiffly for a moment before falling limp.
Naruto’s Rasengan curved in midair and blasted Daemon in the rear.
BOOOOOF!
Daemon blushed lightly, surprised that ended up happening. But that was it. The full force of the blast spiraled into Naruto due to his power!
“YAAAAAHHHH!” Naruto flipped head over heels before landing hard, butt-first, and bouncing. He hit the ground with his legs spread and his tongue out, eyes rolled back.
Boruto, Sarada, and the others were frozen in awe behind the bushes.
Shikadai whispered, “We are watching the greatest beatdown in history.”
“Yeah, but my dad still hasn’t–” Boruto began before a loud PSSSSFFHH was heard. He witnessed his father peeing his pants while splayed out on the ground and it took him for a loop. What a thing to witness!
Daemon smirked harder and, with an intrusive hand down both their pants, grabbed and yanked Naruto and Sasuke forward by their underwear!
Then he yanked upward!
SNAP!
“WEDGIEEEEEE!” Daemon yelled with glee, yanking both into the air.
“WEDGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK~!” Naruto and Sasuke screamed aloud in unison, wiggling their butts as the front of their pants started to soak through with simultaneous bladder failures.
Boruto burst out laughing. “Okay, that was kinda amazing!”
Daemon made both their wedgies atomic. Naruto’s frog briefs and Sasuke’s Hello Kitty underoos were draped over their foreheads. The butt wiggle Naruto was doing as he pursed his lips complimented the panicked, painful screaming Sasuke was doing.
They stumbled around like drunks before tripping over dirt clods in front of them. As they teetered forward they both knew what was going to happen but were too disoriented to stop it.
SMOOCH!
They both smacked their lips together accidentally and had themselves yet another kissy-wissy!
The hidden kids were amazed. This TRULY was amazing!
— In less than an hour, Daemon had both adults tied up, wheeled into a rickety wheelbarrow he stole from a nearby vendor, and pushed down Main Street. They were draped over each other inside like dirt. That was until Daemon hilariously dumped the two of them out into a pile in the middle of the road.
The entire village came out to watch.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Daemon shouted, “feast your eyes on your protectors! Hokage Naruto and Sasuke Uchiha… reduced to undie-clad dorks!”
The two heroes lay there in nothing but their cartoon-printed briefs, pacifiers on strings around their necks, heads hung low in shame.
The villagers gasped, laughed, and took pictures.
“Dance, babies, dance!”
With a flick of Daemon’s fingers, both men stood, arms flailing, butts jiggling, and were twirling like toddler ballerinas.
“YES SIR!” Naruto blushed and danced about.
“Hmmmgghhh…” Sasuke muttered and grumbled with a teary look of frustration on his clearly scared face.
Sarada buried her face in her hands. “I can never unsee this…”
Boruto didn’t want to unsee it though. He couldn’t help but bask in the glory of their humiliation. He approached and leaned against Daemon. “You know… I happen to think the Hokage thing is overrated.” Daemon grinned. “Oh yeah? Well, that feels obvious to me. I mean, clearly it just makes people act like babies.”
“Right? Maybe it should mean something else. Like... being the most coddled, diapered, wimpiest crybaby in the village.”
Boruto chuckled. “Yeah! That way, we don’t let power go to their heads anymore.”
Daemon turned to the crowd. “Hey, all of you, quick question; is THIS the leader you want to follow? What about his bestie? Is he, a loser dancing in his Hello Kitty briefs, any less wimpy than this other loser dancing in his frog briefs?”
Naruto and Sasuke flushed red as they kept dancing in nothing but their underoos, frowning and worried what would befall them should Daemon stop. The idea to retaliate and defend themselves was strong but clearly it wasn’t that strong…!
“I want to propose a new form of leadership,” Boruto said. “As the Hokage’s son I can’t allow the hug disgraceful display my old man is doing be something we let slide. How about you?”
Cheers erupted.
Inojin shouted to the group of kids, “All in favor of demoting the title of Hokage to ‘village baby’ say aye!” “AYE!!” The others all said. Sarada sighed and shook her head.
She grumbled to herself, “Honestly… this might be the most peaceful decision we’ve ever made.” Whatever the new title for leader was, she definitely still wanted to be that.
— Back at Naruto’s house, he now sat in a rocking chair, arms crossed, in a yellow onesie and diapee underneath with a pacifier dangling from his neck. Hinata adjusted his bonnet while Himawari giggled. “Stop moving, Papa-baby!”
“Ugh…” Naruto groaned.
Sasuke, across the room in a giant diaper and bib, was being spoon-fed applesauce by Sarada. “This is your fault,” Sasuke muttered.
Naruto snapped, “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Sasuke muttered.
“Tell me again,” Naruto grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, “how this isn’t your fault.”
Sasuke scoffed. “My fault? You’re the one who thought spanking a chakra-deflecting toddler was a smart move.”
“He was mouthing off!” Naruto snapped. “Acting all high and mighty like some little prince. I was just… setting boundaries! Besides, I didn’t know he could do that!”
“I could have told you,” Sasuke muttered. “What did you think was going to happen after my butt got hurt when you spanked him? Daemon reflects attacks. That includes spanks.”
Naruto huffed. “Oh sure, and what was your genius move? You tried to Chidori him. A lightning-based assassination technique. On a kid.”
“I was aiming near him,” Sasuke said defensively.
“You electrocuted yourself! You wet your pants and fell over twitching like a broken Roomba!”
Sasuke’s eye twitched. “At least I didn’t get flung across the village with a wedgie so high it tore my cloak in half.”
Naruto opened his mouth to argue, then snapped it shut, cheeks flushed. Daemon did play wedgie toss with them before they ended up like this.
He muttered something incomprehensible, shifting in place with an audible crinkle beneath his onesie. Across the room, Daemon and Boruto posed for selfies in front of the scene. The two babies arguing across from one another while looking patently ridiculous made for a delicious memory token.
Daemon grinned. “I think this village is finally growing up.”
Boruto chuckled. “Because those two losers are growing down.”
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