Lost and Found
Opening titles:
The opening credits appear in this scene wherever they won't get in the way.
The scene should open with our title character Billy (a mouse, mid-20s, thin build, wearing jeans, jacket, t-shirt, chucks, headphones) sitting on a subway car. His face is down, and he jiggles every now and then as the car goes down the tracks. Lights go by past him. It starts out with a number of people on the car near him, one being Tina (who reappears much later), but they get off more and more at each stop until no one is sitting next to him, then no one is in the car with him. He appears to be asleep. The camera cuts to a turn outside the subway, and we watch it rush past in the turn. The camera is shaken by the wind as it moves, and various bits of garbage are disturbed and flutter around a bit. You can hear the train as it clatters down the rails. The camera then cuts back to the main character and gives a side view. He can be heard snoring. During this entire time, you should be able to hear soft jazz piano, but it should be muted and distorted, as if coming out of small speakers. If stereo is available, then it should migrate across the stereo area as the camera goes past Billy, to indicate that the music is coming from his headphones.
The train comes to a sudden stop, as does the music, and Billy is stirred to wake up. An automated female voice declares that this is the last stop on the line, and that all passengers must depart. Billy yawns, puts away his headphones, then moves to get up. His foot bumps something, and he notices that it is a purse. He picks it up and looks at it.
Billy: ``Huh.''
The camera cuts to his perspective, and he pans around the car, showing that there's no one to be seen anywhere. The camera then cuts again, and he steps out onto the platform and looks around again. There is no one to be seen in any direction. There is a clock on the wall which states that it is 2 AM. There are various advertisements around Billy, but no other persons to be seen anywhere. Billy sees himself in a security mirror at a corner, and is suddenly visibly self-concious about holding a purse. He proceeds to the police booth. The light is on, and all the equipment is in there and visible through the glass, but it's unoccupied. There is a notice taped to the door. It reads as follows:
DUE TO BUDGET CUTS,
THIS POLICE BOOTH IS NO
LONGER MANNED AFTER 10PM
IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY
PLEASE DIAL 911
The notice has an official police seal for the Capital City Police Force. Billy reads it, and the camera pans over it a little to give the audience a chance to read it as well.
Billy: ``Due to budget cuts...Ten PM? That's bullshit.''
Billy looks at the purse, and makes as if to leave it at the foot of the door, but then changes his mind and puts his backpack down. He unzips it. There's a scooter enthusiaist magazine visible in there, along with a trashy novel with a cover that reads ``CHANCE ROMANCE'' and his casette player, but nothing else. He jams the purse in there and zips it up.
The camera cuts to street level. It's late and there are one or two padestrians, and a few cars, one of which is a cab. Billy moves over to the front of a small parking lot with meters, to the stalls for motorcycles. There are one or two bikes still parked there, but his has a ticket taped to the front of it. His vehicle is a very beat-up Vespa that has clearly been in a crash, and he has only partially restored it.
Billy: God dammit, not another one...
Billy takes the ticket off and looks at it. It's a fine for ``unlawful overnight parking (after midnight)''
Billy: ``That's fuckin' bullshit.''
Billy looks at the two other bikes parked. One is a Harley and the other is a very expensive street bike. Neither of them have tickets. Billy growls and stomps over to the street bike and puts his leg up like he's going to kick it to the ground, but then sighs and gets back to his own machine. He unlocks the seat, pulls out a helmet, then puts it on.
Billy's ride moves along at the speed limit, but it is loud and backfires every now and then. There should be a few shots showing off the city, which should be sparcely populated but well lit and very pleasant to look at. There should be one or two closeups of Billy smiling as he rides. He very much enjoys riding his Vespa through the city, and he should be shown as such. Eventually he comes to a stoplight and he waits patiently. Unfortunately, Billy hears the low booming of heavy bass, and very bad gangster music begins to get louder and louder as he waits.
Billy: Oh no...
A purple convertible musclecar pulls up to the light. It's a massive machine, and at the wheel is a big black cat wearing a bandanna on his head and a wifebeater over his shirt. He has dreadlocks, rings on his fingers, and a gold chain around his neck. He is the gangsta stereotype. He has his left hand on the wheel and his right hand across the tops of the seats. The camera is positioned so that we can't see the car's interior. The cat smirks at Billy, but he just stares straight ahead. The camera cuts to his face alone.
Billy: (thinking) Just ignore him, just ignore him....
The cat takes his free hand off the side and cups it to his mouth. The camera is where the hood ornament would be.
Cat: ``Hey punk! Nice ride, did your Mommy buy you those training wheels?''
A vixen with blonde hair and too much eye makeup emerges from under the steering wheel. She's got spittle on her lips and has clearly been giving road-head.
Vixen: ``What is it baby?''
The cat moves his free hand onto the back of her head and presses her down again.
Cat: ``Nothing you need to worry about, just get back to work.''
The light flips, and the cat floors it, taking off and laughing as Billy coughs and chokes in the exhaust. The camera cuts to him again.
Billy: (thinking) Jeez what an asshole. How come guys like him get all the girls anyway?''
Billy starts up his bike and takes off again.
The camera is inside Billy's apartment. It's a dull, dreary, dark place with no pictures on the walls and ugly wallpaper. It is a sparcely furnished studio, with only a bed, sofa, TV, kitchen table with one chair, stovetop/oven, sink and fridge. The furniture is mismatched and worn and it looks like he got it off the curb. It is clean, however, and it's clear that he takes care of the place. There's a small pile of bills on the kitchen table. Jimmy unlocks the door, opens it, and comes in. He's got several letters in his mouth. He removes his backpack and then his jacket, and hangs the latter on a hook by the door. He moves to the chair by the kitchen table and sits down, placing his bag on the table, and the bills in his mouth. He thumbs through the bills, which all look urgent, and several have big ``OVERDUE NOTICE'' things stamped on them. He sighs and tosses them on the bill pile, then moves over to the fridge. He gets a half-eaten sandwich out and starts munching on it and walking to the sofa. He sits down, grabs the remote, and turns on the TV, but there's nothing except static.
Billy: ``Aww god dammit...''
He angrily slams the remote back down on the sofa cushions and goes to his bill pile and plucks a cable bill off the top. He opens it and begins reading it, holding it in front of him under a meager kitchen lamp.
Billy: ``We regret to inform you, blah blah blah, delinquent payment, cable shut off as of nine-nine-ninety-four...''
Billy growls and crumples up the paper and tosses it in the trash, along with several other bills which are all from the cable company and thus now moot. He sighs and goes back to the kitchen table and stares at his bag for a bit, then opens it and takes out the purse. It's still closed.
In a cartoonish sequence, a very well-dressed poodle woman with lots of jewelry struts onto the subway and places the purse under the seat. It's stuffed fat with bills, to the point where they stick out of the top.
Poodle lady - (voice should be over-the-top) Goodness me, I have SO much money and NO idea what to do with it...I suppose I'll leave this ugly purse here on the subway, so that some poor, hungry little boy may find it and eat a big, hearty dinner.
Billy looks at his sandwich, which is decidedly unappetising, and his stomach grumbles. He then sets it down and moves as if to open the purse, but he stops.
Billy: No, that's wrong.
Cut to billy's perspective, the camera pans to the bills, the lousy sandwich, and over the cheap apartment. Cut back to billy, he sighs.
Billy: Well, just a peek.
Billy opens the bag and looks inside, and begins to pull things out. He pulls out a stick of lipstick, a well-worn but quite functional Harley Davidson zippo, a half-empty pack of chewing gum, a ziplok bag with about a dozen subway tokens, a motor scooter enthusaist magazine, and a small notebook which contains only phone numbers. He places the items on the table, looks through the notebook but puts it down because there's no names, and then begins to pick up the items.
Billy: I wonder what the girl who owns this thing is like.
First he picks up the Zippo and turns it over in his hand a bit. The camera shows his head, then shows him daydreaming in a ``bubble'' which expands to become the full screen. A sexy, punk, pierced, tattooed skunk is at a very loud heavy metal concert bopping her head and screaming along with everyone else. The song kicks into a guitar solo, and everyone whips out their lighters. The skunkette does too, but she also rips her top of (literally rips it) and chucks the pieces onto the stage. You see her from behind so you see no nips, but as she keeps bouncing you see some stuff from the back. The lead musician then looks down at her, her massive rack, and then tosses her a room key, which she holds up, cheering. The camera then cuts back to billy, who chuckles a bit. This section, up to Billy, should have a rough, raw, unfinished look to it. If you've ever seen Emmm's work, that's what I'm thinking of. Heavy lines and black marks all over.
Billy: Well, it has been a long time since I went to a good rock concert...
He then picks up the subway tokens, and imagines a neat, prim, glasses-wearing chinchilla lady in a business outfit sitting at a desk working on spreadsheets on a computer. Her boss (a cat who looks like the guy from Office Space) comes by to complement her on her good work, and presents her with a small plaque that reads ``ACCOUNTANT OF THE YEAR - 1995'' on it. She smiles and hangs it on the side of her cubicle, and her boss applauds her and then leaves. As soon as he's gone, her fingers fly into a frenzy, and she starts filling out the spreadsheet at a rate no actual real person would be capable of. This should have a flat, dry, washed-out look, like a corporate office.
Billy: It would be nice to meet a girl with a steady paycheck, who thought ahead and had the money to buy in bulk...
He then picks up the gum, and starts imagining an 80s style vixen, with bad hair, plastic jewelry and earrings, and 80s synth music. She's cutting some girl's hair while whining into a phone with a very thick New York accent. The girl (and I do mean girl, like, 8) is about to cry because the haircut is terrible and the vixen keeps popping her gum. The girl jumps every time the gum is popped. The vixen then pulls out a hair dryer and, still ignoring the girl and cussing into the phone, begins to dry the girl's hair, and this finally does make her cry. This section should appear a little rough and have a low framerate, like 80s cartoons.
Billy: You know, I never was much for gum myself.
He then picks up the magazine and begins to thumb through it. It has photos of scooters, scooter parts, and of course scooter babes. He smiles, and begins to daydream of an asian-looking siamese cat with very pronounced j-Punk clothes riding on a yellow scooter, a-la FLCL. She does a bunch of tricks on it to J-Pop and a cheering crowd, then pulls up at a fighting game machine, puts in a few Yen and then dares all comers. A big, mean looking dog comes up and takes the controls, but he gets trounced in only a few seconds and she strikes a victory pose while he shambles off sobbing. This section should be a little toony. She should have big tits which wiggle in defiance of physics.
Billy: Well, Asian girls are pretty cute, and it would be nice to have someone who could help me with my bike.
Billy picks up the notebook of phone numbers and starts thumbing through them. They're all local and have no area code listed, just the seven numbers. He looks at the phone, then his most recent phone bill. It's coated in red ink, and boldly declares SERVICE WILL BE TERMINATED FOR NONPAYMENT AS OF 7/14/1995. He looks at his calendar. It's 7/13/1995.
Billy: Well, if it's gonna be cut off anyway...
Billy picks up the phone and dials the first number. Cut to a furry on the toilet, and the phone is ringing. He hastily tries to finish his business and wipe but forgets to pull his pants up and trips and falls on his face. He struggles to make it to the phone, continuing to fall and stumble and crawl, but he fails to make it by ring eight.
Furry on phone: SHIT!
Billy: Guess no one is home at that number.
Billy dials another number. A reasonably well-off guy in a fancy car with a car phone attempts to answer the car phone while driving with one hand and not keeping his eye on the road. Suddenly, he sees he's about to hit a very old woman obliviously trying to cross the street with no urgency or hurry whatsoever. He swerves to avoid her and runs into a lamp post. As he stumbles out of the car, the still slow-moving woman stops in the middle of the road and yells `` Why don't you slow down, you overpaid yuppie?''
Billy: I shouldn't be surprised, I guess, it's about one in the morning.
Billy dials a third number. An old lady picks it up.
Old lady: ``Hello?''
Billy doesn't wanna think that this purse belongs to an old woman, he thinks for a moment, then says ``Uhm...Nevermind, wrong number.''
The old lady sighs, picks up her crocheting. On it you can clearly make out the words ``TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN'' in a flowery script, and the image of an old lady with her head in a noose.
Billy dials another number, and a middle-aged, fat female tabby cat picks up. She has a thick eastern european accent.
Tabby: ``Hello?''
Billy: ``Yes, I found this purse on the subway. Had a lighter in it and some subway tokens in it, a motor scooter magazine...''
Tabby: ``You open girl's purse, and have balls to call her landlord? Anyway must belong to Lola, she was complain of purse earlier today. You come to Spaldin building, intersection of fifth and twelve.
Do a quick montage of Billy jamming the contents into the purse, the purse into his backpack, dashing down the stairs, clicking his helmet to his head, and starting his bike. A few quick scenes of the city, showing that he's really booking (squeal the tires a few times, do some blur-line tail-lights like in the beginning of Akira or Initial D) and then he pulls up in front of the Spalding building. It should be a big white-marble building that's very well kept and very fancy, maybe a little gold trim and some red velvet curtains. Billy couldn't look more out of place. There should be a large, black-furred mean-looking dog doorman staring at him with a ``You better be a deliveryboy and you better be looking to come and go very quickly.'' Billy should look scared of this guy.
Billy (to doorman): I uh...I...I have something for Lola.
Doorman: (chuckles) Man we all got somethin' for Lola. (he looks inside the lobby) She's comin' out, and I ain't lettin' yo ass in, so you give her what you gotta and then you best be on yo way.
A very sexy vixen in slutty clubbing clothes come out, yelling into one of those big brick cellphones they used to have back in the 90s. She has that ``get out of my way you ugly people'' attitude. She has a thick east-coast accent and looks like high-class trash, a trophy wife or a nude model.
Lola: ``Yeah yeah, I'm goin' out now, I'm movin' out the door as we speak. Of course I got somethin' sexy on, we're goin' clubbin ain't we?
Billy bumblingly approaches her, tripping on the curb and almost falling onto her.
Billy: Hey miss Lola, I got-SHIT, ow...I found this on the subway.
Billy frantically grabs at his bag and yanks out the purse and shoves it in Lola's face. She looks at it like she would a dead cat or a rotting fish.
Lola: What the /fuck/ would make you think it's mine? You think a girl like me rides the goddamn subway? And it's not even Prada. Looks like some hand-made granny-bag shit. Get the fuck out of here before I have Andre make you leave.
Billy gulps, and looks over at Andre, who grins maliciously.
Andre: Well normally I wouldn't beat up some random street punk, but you are a lady, and that's gotta be the worst pick-up line I've ever heard. Shit like that deserves a beating...
Andre begins to move forward, and Billy hops onto his scooter and begins trying to get it to start, but the damn thing just won't. Lola walks off, still yammering into her big brick phone. You should be able to see that she's had a designer purse all along, it was just obscured by the way she was standing and shot in the other parts of the scene. Just as Andre is about to get within Andre's reach, the bike kicks into action and takes off with much more speed than Billy intended. Andre smirks a little bit.
Andre: Shame a little guy like him tryin' ta go after a bitch like Lola. Specially with a cute little ass like that.
Cut to Billy peeling away, you can see his butt (in pants, obviously) up in the air as he frantically tries to bring his moped under his control without slowing down. Then cut back to andre licking his lips.
Andre: Could hit that all night!
Next scene, Billy is on a bridge with big lights and padestrian sidewalks. His bike is half parked, half crashed on the sidewalk and he's up on the railing, his arms on the rail, his head on his arms. He looks very depressed and frustrated, and the music should reflect this. Get a good shot showing how, other than the lamp he's standing under, it's very dark and gloomy out. A car drives by and the wind shakes his hair. He sighs. He should look like he's contemplating throwing himself over the bridge, like he couldn't be more sad. He unslings his bag, pulls out the purse and looks into it. There's a quick montage of the girls from before, all smiling cutely at him and showing off aspects of their nature, and they should appear in the order before (punk spiked wristband, playing with a pen, popping a gum bubble with scissors, showing that V for victory salute Japanese people still use, etc.) The montage then ends quickly with Lola looking at him disapprovingly and saying ``Shit!'' like it's directed at the viewer. Billy, frustrated with his life and his quest to just try and do the right thing, grabs the purse in his arm and makes like he's going to chuck it off the bridge. Just as he's about to let go, a sweet female voice rings out from off screen.
Tina: ``My purse! Is that my purse? What are you doing with my purse?''
Billy blinks and looks genuinely dazed and confused, like he's been struck on the head. He brings his arm down and extends the purse out to a very cute ferret girl who immediately grabs it and hugs it to her chest. She's dressed in the sort of fashion favored by girls who know they look good and don't feel the need to spend a fortune on the latest trends. She should look like the sort of girl you'd wanna be friends with, or hang out with, or just talk to. She should be infinitely approachable but still attractive.
Tina: ``Oh my god, I thought I was going to lose this forever! I was just talking with my landlordess and she said some boy found a purse on the subway. Oh I hope she was just kidding about sending you to that meanie Lola. But I'm so glad to have this back! My mommy bought it back when she was living in Greece, it's one of the few things I still have from her.
Billy looks shy, but clearly pleased and blown back a bit at this girl, who is the sort he'd definitely wanna get with, sexual or not.
Billy: Yeah uhm...Well, you're welcome. Sorry I had to open it, but I...I really wanted to get it back to you.
Billy blushes, and Tina smiles and gives him a big hug. He's clearly not used to getting hugged or being around women, because he looks happy but he doesn't know what to do.
Tina: ``Awwh, you're so SWEET! I dunno how hard it was for you to get it back to me, but I'm so glad you did! I really owe you one.''
Tina kisses Billy on the cheek and then lets go of him, but is still very much in his personal space.
Tina: My name is Tina, what's yours?
Tina extends her hand, and Billy tentatively shakes it, still clearly nervous around girls.
Billy: Billy...
Tina smiles.
Tina: I once had a goldfish named ``Billy.''
Tina leans over and looks at Billy's bike, whose headlight drops off and dangles by it's cords on cue.
Tina: Oh my god! Is that a Vespa SS 180? I haven't seen one of those in like forever! I didn't think there were any running around in this town!
Tina walks over her pink 1963 VBB Standard 150, which is in superb restored condition and parks it next to Billy's wreck. It seems to only emphasize how bashed up his is, but Tina pats it gently like it's an ugly dog that everyone still loves.
Billy: Yeah, I found it in a dumpster a few years ago, if you'd believe that. I think it got hit by one of the snowplows. I've been fixing it up ever since, a little bit here and there, when I can get the money.
Tina: I know a guy cross town who just loves to work on these, an old Italian guy and friend of my father's. That's why I was on the subway actually, I was losing revs for some reason so I took it over to him to drop it off overnight. But when I found out my purse was missing...
The dialogue should begin to fade until it's just mumbling (have the voice actors continue chatting, even if it's nonsense words) and the camera should pan back and start to show more of the bridge, then cut to show them talking in front of the first few ribbons of dawn. They kiss, and right as they do so, the sun comes up over the horizon, and shows that the clouds are parting and that it's gonna be a bright, sunny day.
