This is the Art Reward given to this14 Thank you for participating in my previous Fan-Fiction Contest!
INT. LAPIS’ HOUSE - DAY
We see MILES and LAPIS, who is wearing a THERAPIST UNIFORM, finish setting up their stream across from a frustrated VERA and CYRENE who are sitting on a couch with their bare feet propped up onto a TABLE.
LAPIS (sits in an armchair) Hello little angels! Welcome to another exciting episode of Loving Lapis. This time, I’ve brought my best friends Vera and Cyrene on the show because they’ve been having some small problems recently.
Pan over to Vera and Cyrene who are currently bickering and having a slap fight.
LAPIS Ok maybe not small problems but problems nonetheless. And chat, you know it just tears me apart whenever I find out that my friends are in need—-
MILES (O.S.) Now that you mention it I think ate something bad during lunch could I be excused—-
LAPIS (angry) No, of course not go back to doing your job.
LAPIS (CONT’D) (sighs) Rudeness aside guys, I just think that it’s really important for Vera and Cyrene to get along so for today’s stream I’m going to act as their… uh—-
MILES (O.S.) Arbitrator.
LAPIS Yes, Arbitrundor in order to resolve this situation peacefully.
MILES (O.S.) Do you even know how to arbitrate?
LAPIS (smug) Of course I do, I’ve literally watched every episode of Dr. Phill. I’m basically an expert.
MILES But that’s just a show, it’s obviously not like the real thing—-
LAPIS Not interested. Alright you two let the healing begin.
Lapis turns to Vera and Cyrene who are busy fighting to hear her.
LAPIS (CONT’D) (louder) Hey, yoo-hoo can you hear me.
Annoyed, Lapis pulls out a WHISTLE from her pocket and blows it as hard as she can. The sound causes Vera and Cyrene to stop fighting so that they can cover their ears.
CYRENE (angry) You dick! What the hell is your problem? You almost blew out my eardrums.
LAPIS My problem is that you two keep ruining the vibe with your constant bickering and slap fights. So me and Miles decided that you guys need to hash this out in a safe, non-judgemental environment, the internet.
VERA (annoyed) Ugh, I knew Miles had something to do with this. Why is he even here?
MILES (O.S.) Because I live here, and help Lapis set up her live streams.
VERA But that doesn’t mean you have to physically be here.
MILES (O.S.) That’s exactly why I have to be here. What are you talking about—-
LAPIS Wait, wait, wait, this episode is about Vera and Cyrene, we can deal with Vera and Miles’ issues on another stream. Probably not the next one cuz I want to give this one some time to breathe before I release another one, y’know gage the audiences reaction see If I could make this into a potential series—-
CYRENE, MILES, VERA (shouting) Lapis!
LAPIS (softly) Sorry
CYRENE This entire thing is stupid! First off, you’re completely blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Me and Vera don’t have any issues with each other, we can literally sit here for the rest of the day without fighting, just watch.
Cyrene and Vera sit in silence for five seconds.
VERA It’s Vera and I, your grammar is off.
They immediately start fighting again. Lapis rapidly blows the whistle.
LAPIS (shouting) That was barely five seconds!
CYRENE Ok, you might be right about that. But the rest of it is stupid, (MORE) CYRENE (CONT'D) Why do we have to show our bare feet to the camera, I’m not gonna come on stream just so your weirdo fans can stare at my feet—-
VERA (angry) It’s obviously not a sexual thing, meathead, use your brain.
VERA (CONT'D) (to Lapis) Although… it is kind of a strange request, an explanation would be nice.
LAPIS (shocked) I’m so disappointed in you two. First of all, my fans are the most kind, honest and hard-working people to have ever lived. Literally none of them are degenerates.
Cut to a dark basement, where a sweaty, obese man is currently watching the stream with his pants down.
NECKBEARD Yeah you tell em, Lapis
Cut back to the stream, where Lapis continues to talk.
LAPIS And second of all, you aren’t barefoot for no reason, it's part of the stream. Look.
Lapis reaches into her pocket and pulls out a REMOTE CONTROL.
LAPIS (CONT’D) This was supposed to be my secret weapon, so whenever you guys start fighting… like you’re doing right now.
Lapis looks up from her remote to see that Vera and Cyrene are too busy fighting to listen to her explanation. She sighs heavily and pushes a button on the remote. Immediately, Vera and Cyrene both get electrocuted and fall over.
LAPIS All I need to do is push this button and you’ll feel a little jolt.
CYRENE (confused) How does that even work?
Lapis pulls out a ZAPPER from her pocket, which is a small metal circle with a yellow dot attached to it.
LAPIS These Zappers that OG fans will remember when I used in the Dusty stream. They Are placed in your clothes, and they can generate electricity. And when I push this button, it causes them to activate which shocks you. The shocks aren’t dangerous, you just feel a tickle.
CYRENE So, what you're saying is that if we don’t have these clothes then we can’t get shocked.
Cyrene begins to remove her clothes on stream, but is quickly stopped when Vera punches her in the head.
VERA (furious) Are you fucking retarded! You’re going to get Lapis banned!
CYRENE (furious) OW! Don’t hit me asshole!
Vera and Cyrene start fighting again and Lapis electrocutes them.
LAPIS Did you not hear what I said! You fight! You get electrocuted! Is that clear!
CYRENE Wait but you didn’t tell us why we had to show our feet.
Lapis pushes a button and electrocutes Cyrene.
LAPIS So, we have a bunch of activities here and I want you both to do them without fighting. I think if we try hard enough, we can get you guys to resolve your issues before the day ends. All we have to do is have patience, hard work and dedication.
A montage begins with Vera and Cyrene doing different peaceful activities such as reading, meditation, yoga and painting together. And still managing to find something to fight about. With each failure Lapis looks even more broken then before, with the zappers slowly becoming more and more useless as a punishment.
LAPIS (tired) Ten hours. I can’t believe I just spent ten hours on this and It all went to waste. Welp time for plan C
Lapis pulls out her remote and opens it to reveal a SLIGHTLY SMALLER REMOTE inside. She presses a button on it and multiple mechanical tentacles armed with brushes, feathers and oil come out of Vera and Cyrene’s couch and begin to wrap them up.
VERA (struggling) Lapis what’s going on?
LAPIS Well since you guys love fighting so much you can fight while being tickled by this couch tickling bot. The tickle stuff gets my channel more attention anyway.
CYRENE (panicked) Wait, so you're just going to leave us here forever?
LAPIS Nope you said you can stay here without fighting for an entire day so now you can prove it.
As Lapis walks away, the room is filled with the sound of a roar of laughter from Vera and Cyrene, as they are both forced to be tickled for the rest of the day. And from that point on, Vera and Cyrene never fought whenever Lapis was around.
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