I'm not sure how to introduce this sketch out of nowhere. It's very simplistic, but deeply personal. I don't know how much about it I want to share in words vs. how much I want to just let it exist.
In my continued journey to reckon with my personal history, with the good and the bad of all I've experienced, I feel disconnected with my own existence. The "me" that I was as a young kid, the "me" in high school, the "me" I was for myself, for my friends, for my family, and the "me" that I am currently. They don't feel attached to each other, in this moment. Every "me" has gone through so much, leading to sweeping changes in how I exist with the world, and with myself. My memories are often foggy, for a variety of reasons I'll be keeping to myself.
Recently, my only remaining friend from high school shared a photo of me when I was about 16 years old. I don't have many photos or memorabilia from that part of my life, so seeing that picture felt like looking at a familiar stranger. The next day, I had my second session with my new therapist, and then immediately saw this post by Choco again. All of that culminated in a desire to try out sitting with myself, and drawing... something. Anything. So, this is what came out.
I want to try and find this "me". I see people say things like "reconnect with your inner child" or "talk to your younger self", but I admit, I don't understand what that means. How you go about it. So instead of forcing myself to figure out whatever that is, I'm just going to look for her in the first place. Maybe I'll find her, and it can go from there.
Damn, that's the realest thing I've seen posted on here. I know what you mean, to some degree. Just seeing yourself at that age can be so alienating, so wild to think what a different person you were back then. Your wants, needs, motivations, all something that feels so distant, maybe even unimportant now.
Damn, that's the realest thing I've seen posted on here. I know what you mean, to some degree. Just
Exactly, yeah. It's surreal to try and get myself in the mindset of what was important in my life then, what things I dealt with each day and what I spent time doing. Such a different life
Exactly, yeah. It's surreal to try and get myself in the mindset of what was important in my life th
IFS therapy is both incredibly surreal and absolutely amazing — it can resolve a lot of prior trauma and pain by treating these parts of you as separate entities that you can work with. If you get a good therapist that can do that it is often remarkably life changing.
IFS therapy is both incredibly surreal and absolutely amazing — it can resolve a lot of prior trauma
I hadn't heard of this one before, thank you for sharing it! Right now I'm working with a therapist trained in somatic/EMDR style therapy. If I find myself in need of new approaches, I'll keep IFS in mind as a possibility
I hadn't heard of this one before, thank you for sharing it! Right now I'm working with a therapist
I was waiting at a train platform with Xan 3 days ago, and I was staring down the train track at a road crossing and had this awful panic attack, and I had no idea why. I suddenly realised that was stairing at the exact same train road crossing I used to go across with my parents to get/go to a park I loved as a kid, and everytime we crossed it in our car I always hoped that a train would stop all the cars and I could finally see the barriers come down, all my life I never saw those barriers come down because it was just such a slim chance I would ever see it happen in the first place. 30 years later, I'm sitting there on this platform watching these barriers, having a panic attack because some neurons right at the back of my brain fired off that I wouldn't be able to see those barriers close ever, that day was awsum because that "inner child" stored right back in the cobweb part of my head saw those barriers go down 3 times that day, soon as I realised what my head was doing, panic 1000% turned to joy. I hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope you find a way to dust off the cobwebs of your "inner child".
I was waiting at a train platform with Xan 3 days ago, and I was staring down the train track at a r
