Ant and Four 24 - His Ever After
by Winter
Real space battles, it turned out, were much different from what was shown in movies and teleshows. With the claw marks on his back cleaned and his poor tail bandaged, Ant entered the Morning Calm's bridge to find the lights out. Raeder and Tow sat at the main console, while the large screen mostly showed a pattern of small dots. Almost like in his game, Ant mused. Niklas and Knife stood by one of the viewports, peering out into black space. As Ant went to join them, a tiny spark lit up for a couple of seconds, then faded. The screen made a beeping noise.
"Was that one of theirs?" Niklas asked with bated breath. "Please say it was!"
"Affirmative," Raeder replied, as he read an incoming message. "The Lament made a clean kill."
"Awesome! What's the score?"
"Niklas," Tow rumbled without taking his eyes off his screen. "This isn't a game."
"I know, but..."
"People are dying out there."
"I know, but..."
"Six of theirs, none of ours," Knife said in a half-whisper. She leaned closer to the boy and lowered her voice even further, but not enough for Ant not to hear. "And don't listen to that old grump. It is a game."
"A game of real consequences," Ant said, his own voice growly. "Irreversible consequences."
"But they're pirates."
"I know. Pirates, and people." He sighed, and sat down on a chair, then yelped as he regretted doing so. Huffing, he gave the chair a light kick. "I just don't like it when people die."
"Told you ages ago, you should've got rid of that thing. Never give 'em something to grab ahold of." Smirking, Knife swatted at Ant's tail, totally ignoring his indignant snarl. "You never killed before."
"No." His sigh ended with another growl. "I didn't like that at all."
"A dead enemy is one less blade in your back."
"They're bad people," Niklas said, but without real conviction. He wouldn't meet Ant's eyes. "They tried to grab me and Four."
"I know." Ant patted the boy's good shoulder. "But they were kids once. Their leader was a pup once. I feel sorry for them. Not that they die now, but for the choices they made."
"I... I think I understand."
"Great!" Knife huffed. "Another wet blanket."
"What's that mean?" Just then, two sparks lit up outside. "Who were they?"
"Reaper's Kiss took down two in one go." Raeder said. "They're on a roll."
"You're not helping!" Ant complained. "What about the big guy?"
"If he's on the big ship, not good." Tow turned around in his seat. "The others are diving right into the line of fire, to keep that one safe."
"Dammit!" Knife swore, and slapped the window next to her. "Rae, get us closer! At least we can board one of the cripples."
"Try it," Ant growled, "and you'll lose a few fingers."
"I'm not!" Raeder exclaimed, lifting his hands from his console. "Gods, Ant, calm down."
"Just making sure." He took a couple of steps towards the control centre. "You promised me no danger, and look where that got us."
"I'm sorry, I truly am. Not one of our sources indicated that he was on that station."
"Then get better sources."
"Like chili hot sauce!" Niklas piped up, and Knife laughed loudly. "Or that sour stuff Mrs B makes."
"Cranberry sauce," Ant chuckled as he tousled the boy's long hair. "He's right, Rae. Use a cranberry source next time."
"Don't you go startin' with that as well..." the captain muttered, but then he turned to Ant with a grin. "Next time?"
"Next, as in never."
"Come on..."
"Raeder, puppy dog eyes don't work on me, of all people." Niklas let out a giggle, and Ant smiled. "I'm not saying we'll never travel with you guys again, just that your harebrained schemes..."
"It wasn't just mine!"
"You're the one sold it to me." Ant said, then he softened his voice. "And for that, you owe me, big time."
"Anything!"
"Careful, cap," Knife sing-sang. "You don't know what you're getting into."
"Oh, I will collect," Ant said with a toothy grin. "Don't doubt that. If ever I need a taxi..."
"Anytime, anywhere." Raeder sighed. "Ant, I'm really, really sorry. If you wanna sell your toys somewhere, just let me know and I'll get you there."
"Will you dress up in a fluffy animal costume and give the kids balloons for us?" Four asked, entering the bridge. He stepped right up to Ant and stole a kiss, which Ant immediately tried to steal back. They both ignored the retching noises Niklas and Knife made. "Or stand on a corner and hand out leaflets?"
"Where did you go?" Ant asked, nuzzling his friend. He would never, ever tire of this newfound closeness. When he had woken up from his painkiller-induced nap, Four had been there to look after him and comfort him. "I thought you were right behind me."
"I stopped to clean off the coffee table. There was fur and blood all over it."
"We could have got the comedians to do that," Ant deadpanned, using his thumb to indicate Niklas and Knife, who were making exaggerated googly eyes at each other, accompanied by kissy noises. "Keep that up, and I'll have you two clean the whole cargo hold."
"Are you the cap'n now?" Tow chuckled, reaching out to pat the crestfallen Raeder. "I think I might like that."
"Unfortunately, I know nothing about space battles and such. Junior commander, maybe." Ant let his smile fade into a pout. "I haven't really forgiven you either, with your needles..."
"I didn't think it'd knock you out. Please, Ant."
"Oh, all right."
"Ant..." Four said timidly, tugging on Ant's shirt. "Ant, I was the one who made a mess of the cargo hold. I should be the one who cleans it up, like I cleaned up the Fourtitude."
"Don't worry about that now."
"But I feel really guilty! Everything is all dirty, and I should've thought about it and..."
Just then, every screen flashed red, and a siren gave off a whoop. Raeder and Tow snapped back to their positions, while the others crowded at the viewport. Ant couldn't see anything, but a beeping noise grew in intensity.
"Missiles," Tow said. "Two incoming."
"Got 'em. Calm?"
"Trajectories locked," the ship's computer answered. "Countermeasures, sir?"
"Do it."
There was a brief whooshing sound, then two streaks of fire shot out from the Morning Calm's left side. Port, Ant corrected himself, remembering his love for sea adventure books. After a couple of seconds, they were gone from sight. The beeping continued for a while longer, then it stopped.
"Missiles destroyed," Raeder said. "And the Lament paid them back, it seems."
"Are you sure?" Niklas said. "I didn't see nothing."
That was as exciting as the battle ever got for the Morning Calm. No one tried to fire at them again, and things seemed to become more of a stalemate. The remaining pirate ships fled, while most of the mercenary fleet gave chase. After a while, Ant began to yawn, still feeling drowsy from the pain medication Tow had given him. Niklas had already curled up in a chair and was fast asleep, and Knife had retreated to the gym. He took Four's hand, and they stopped by Raeder's console on their way out.
"You got this?" Both men nodded. "Call us when you need a break. We can at least keep an eye on things."
"Go grab a snooze," Raeder said, taking Ant's free hand. "You've been through a lot, and I'm not gonna stop saying sorry about that. We can take turns napping in our seats."
"Okay. But Raeder, please don't punish yourself." Ant grinned, making sure his fangs were on full display. "I'll be more than happy to oblige."
"Ant..."
"I know, I know." Ant let go of the captain's hand, and instead patted his back. His palm made a slapping sound against the faux leather of Raeder's ever-present flight suit jacket. "But it's so much fun to rib you."
"Is this pick-on-the-captain day? I think I liked firecracker Ant better. Stomping and yelling, I can handle."
"Well, he's gone, and he's not coming back."
Ant and Four left the bridge, hand in hand. It was a short walk through a white-walled corridor to Ant's quarters. Their quarters, now. Stifling another yawn, Ant slipped out of his clothes and lay down on the bed, backside up. Four sat next to him.
"How's the tail?"
"Okay, long as I don't do anything with it." He sighed. "What if I'll never wag again?"
"It will heal. Trust me, I'm a medical professional."
"You're a glorified gurney."
"Aant!" Four tried on a growl, but it morphed into a giggle. "You're so bad."
"Cuddle?"
"Cuddle!"
Ant lay awake for a little while longer, one arm around a sleeping Four, slightly afraid of what he might dream. It would take time to get to terms with what he had been through, what he had done, what he had become, facing the Admiral. Not only the way he had frozen in submission at first, but what frightened him more was how he had lost control. How he had wanted to hurt, to kill. His stomach gave a lurch as he recalled the feeling, the taste, of filling his mouth with his enemy's blood. It was something he never wanted to experience again.
Razer.
That word fluttered around inside his mind. Was that what he truly was? Where the wolfs had come from? But the Admiral had said that all razers were infertile... It didn't make sense. But Ant felt as if there was something inside him, something ready to come out if provoked enough. Something he didn't like much. Would he be able to hold it back the next time someone threatened him and his family? He shuddered at the thought, that he could end up a killing machine; a monster, hurting everyone around him. Including those he cared for.
A hand moved to rub his back, scratching the bits that weren't bandaged. He smiled. Even in sleep, Four was there for him. Then and there, he made up his mind that they would see it all through. Now that he had his Four again, he could do anything.
Eventually, fatigue won out, and he dozed off. Thankfully, into a peaceful and dreamless sleep. At one point he half woke up, when the bed dipped and a small body wormed its way in between him and Four. Once more, his nostrils filled with that blend of scents that was beginning to mean life to him.
* * * * * *
The next day was a busy one for Raeder, who along with all the mercenary captains had been called away to a meeting with the local authorities. The rest of the crew stayed onboard, with not a whole lot to do. Tow tried his best to ease Ant's worries that the Morning Calm's captain might be in real trouble.
"They're not in a position to point blame. If they had done their job, the pirates wouldn't have been able to keep that operation going."
"But a lot of people died." Ant frowned where he sat on one of the main room couches, leaning forward to keep pressure off his tail. "And ships were destroyed."
"Ant, do you know what a letter of marque is?"
"Of course. But that's from stories, right?"
"It used to be a real thing, giving mercenary crews legal rights to attack enemy ships, without getting charged with piracy." Tow gave an unsure smile. "It sort of still is."
"Sort of?" Four asked. "As in...?"
"As in, some authorities recognise them. Some even issue them."
"Some." Ant huffed. "We're all gonna get arrested."
"Anyone tries boarding us," Knife said as she jumped over the backrest of the couch Tow was sitting on, and slumped down beside him. "They're dead."
"No need for more killing," Tow sighed. "Really, girl."
"Just sayin'." She picked up a book from the table, opened it upside-down and gave the contents a cursory glance, before she threw it over her shoulder. "This is us. They were the bad guys. End of story."
"It can't be that simple," Four protested. "Otherwise, anyone could do anything, and just shift blame."
"All I'm saying," Tow said, taking a sip from his coffee mug, "is that the pirates had outstanding warrants pretty much everywhere. And the people the captains are talking to now, should have taken them down long ago."
"Hmm."
"All right." Ant turned to Four and took his hand, but that did not completely remove the worry on his face. "I don't like that he went on his own, though."
"He'll be fine."
"Now that the battle is over and the ship is safe," Calm said from the screen, "maybe we should address the issue of the Fourtitude."
"Right." Four stood up. "I'm the one who broke it, I'll make the repairs."
"It is beginning to sound quite agitated."
"Wait!" Ant's ears perked up. "What is?"
"The PTV. It has been calling for help, for quite some time."
* * * * * *
"Hello!" It sounded almost exactly like Four had, before his venture into the galactic core. Ant's chest gave a twinge. The boyish voice felt so forlorn. "Please, is anybody there?"
"We're here!" Niklas said as he came in through the door. "It's okay, everything's gonna be fine."
"Thank goodness. Though, may I ask, who are you?"
"I'm Niklas. These are my papas, Ant and Four." Ant resisted a sudden urge to crush the boy in a hug. His injuries were still healing, after all. From his other side, he heard Four let out a happy sigh. "What's your name?"
"Name?" The voice sounded insecure, and mildly distressed. "I... I... I don't really know. I don't think I have one. I'm just PTV number four."
"Well, that won't do." Niklas smiled. "Will you let me help?"
"I suppose. You sound kind."
"Four's already been taken, by Four here. So..." The boy chewed his lower lip, deep in thought. "I know! Your name is Petey."
"Petey?"
"Petey Vee. Isn't that cool?"
"It sounds nice." The voice faltered slightly. "B-but I don't really know who I am. I was... I was just here suddenly, and all alone. And I need to report to the Sunview station, but I don't know what that is. Or where it is. Or how to get there. Please tell me, where is space?"
"Stand back," Four whispered, and gestured to the others. The Calm crew were coming up the ramp, but he waved them away. "It's too much for him. Petey?"
"Huh? Oh, yes, that's me! Who are you?"
"Do your internal cameras work, Petey? And your screen?"
"I don't know. Let me check." There was silence for a little while, then the viewscreen came on. Ant almost jumped. When had it stopped being broken? On it, he saw himself, Four and Niklas. "They do work!"
"I'm Four," Four said, waving. The Four on the screen waved back. "I've been where you are now, with a lot of stuff happening around you and a lot of new things to take in."
"I'm confused. And a bit... I think the right word is, scared."
"I know. Please, trust me. I used to be you, so I can help. Though it might feel weird at first."
"I don't really understand, but okay. Please help me."
Four walked over to the access hatch, where Ant had placed a heart-shaped sticker, and opened it. Then he touched the parts of his own immersion helmet, that had been integrated into the ferry's circuits when Four got his robot body. Ant was surprised to see his friend's eyes light up, the ocean blue glowing brightly. The effect lasted a couple of seconds, then Four closed the hatch and stepped back.
"How's that?"
"I feel much better. What did you do?"
"I did a slight reprogramming. Don't worry, you'll still be you, but I made sure you can cope with more data influx. Otherwise, you might have shut down completely."
"Oh. Well, thank you, Four."
"So now that you're better," Niklas said, "can we be friends?"
"Please be gentle with him at first." Four patted the boy's good shoulder. "It takes a while to get used to things like friends, and such."
"He'll do fine," Ant said, giving Four a one-armed hug. "And we'll help him along the way."
"Thank you."
"First thing you should do," Four said, "in order to truly find yourself, is make a face."
"Like this." Niklas stuck his tongue out. "Bleah!"
"No." Four smiled, while a giggle came from the viewscreen's speakers. "But I made sure you can access the datanet. Just a little bit, so it doesn't overwhelm you. Make a scan, and see if you can find a face you like."
"Okay."
The screen turned dark, and silence fell inside the Fourtitude's main room. Ant felt anxious, and more than a little guilty. Exactly this, was what Four had gone through when the two of them first met. Back then, Ant hadn't understood how much strain he put his friend through, just by being himself. He tightened his hug, and Four smiled warmly. Niklas, on the other hand, looked as if he were about to cry.
"Will he really be okay?"
"He will," Four assured. "But he needs a very good friend right now."
"I'll be that!"
"How about this?" All eyes turned to the screen, where a smiling face appeared. "I looked at lots and lots, but then I made a sort of picture of my own. Is that allowed?"
"Of course it is," Ant said. "You're your own person now, you can do what you want."
"I like it!" Niklas squealed. The face on the screen was that of a boy, about the same age as Niklas, but with dark skin, golden eyes and short curly black hair. "We can be best friends, right?"
"Yes." The screen face broke into a smile. "I think I'd like that."
* * * * * *
"I gave him an override," Four explained while he and Ant walked down the Fourtitude's ramp. Niklas had chosen to stay behind, and Ant could hear happy chatter coming from inside the little ferry. "A mild one, just so he doesn't have to go back."
"To the hospital station?"
"Mhm. He still has most of his original programming, for now. Until he starts getting the hang of things."
"What really happened? Where did he come from?"
"I'm not sure." Four paused at the bottom of the ramp, frowning a bit. "I thought the ship was empty, on the inside I mean. You know, since I wasn't there anymore."
"Did you say the repairs robot was gonna check the screen?"
"Yeah, once the engines were... Maybe that's it! Maybe it restored the... like the factory settings."
"I don't understand," Ant admitted. "Tow said it was meant to do little things, how could it make another you?"
"Not a me. A Petey."
"Yeah, but he's like you were when we first met. How's that even possible."
"Hmm."
"And how did you make your eyes glow like that?"
"Like what?"
"When you helped Petey. They kind of lit up."
"I didn't know that." Four sighed. "Ant, I think I have to check my systems for real. See what else has been changed. I did... I think I remember showing the robot how I worked. Blueprints and such, I mean. Do you think I might have accidentally reprogrammed it?"
"You're asking the wrong guy. But if you could help Petey just like that, then maybe."
"I'm gonna have to be careful. I don't wanna go around messing up machines."
"We'll ask Tow. I bet he knows." Ant patted Four's arm. "Where is it now?"
"The repairs robot? I don't know." Four's eyes lit up again. "Oh no!"
"What?" Ant looked around, suddenly alarmed. "What's happening?"
"Come on, this way!"
They ran around the Fourtitude, then Four stopped with a gasp. Ant's nose picked up the scent of burned-out electronics. A mess of thin legs, or maybe arms, lay on the ground, all connected to a round chunk of metal. It was still smoking slightly. Four sank to his knees, and gently cradled it. Once more, his eyes glowed, but then they filled with tears.
"It's... it's gone." The voice was a ragged whisper. "Dead."
* * * * * *
"It's not your fault, Four," Tow said, running his hands through his hair. Ant felt another shuddering sob run through his friend, and he tightened his hold. "If anyone's, it's mine."
"Yours?" Four looked up, and there was an edge to his voice. "You didn't change its programming. You didn't break the Fourtitude, so there'd be so much work to do."
"But I was the one who told it to not use the main electrics. That's why it maxed out its batteries 'til it caught fire."
"That's neither here nor there." Four sniffled. "If not for me it would have done its job and then quit, not figure out more and more to do until... until..."
"Please, Four, stop." Ant nuzzled Four's cheek, his nose getting wet with his friend's tears. "It's sad, but you can't change what happened."
"But I feel so guilty."
"You couldn't have known. You told me it wanted to help you, and you showed it how."
"I'm dangerous. I oughta go someplace where there's no machines and no nothing." Four struggled to stand up from the couch, but Ant held on. "Let me go!"
"Not until you calm down. We can fix this."
"How?"
"I don't know. But now that we know what happened, we make sure it never happens again."
"I'm not sure what I did, not really." Four slumped back into Ant's arms. "I don't even know how I make my eyes light up."
"That is when you connect to local computer systems, or my internal cameras," Calm said, smiling sympathetically. "I can feel it when you do, but my defences are strong."
"I did..." Four shuddered again. "You, too?"
"No harm done. But Four, I think I can help you. If we work together, you will learn how to control your abilities."
"Like the Masked Hero," Ant said with a smile. "When he trained with the old man who ran the tea shop on top of the mountain."
"Like the..." Four sighed and lightly punched his chest. "Oh, you!"
"You're not a bad person," Tow said, patting Four's shoulder. "Far from it. We'll... we'll figure things out."
"I guess..."
"I know," Ant said firmly. "I'll help, any way I can."
"Thank you." It was barely even a whisper. "So, where do we start?"
"Try and talk to me, using your mind," Calm said. "Once you get a feel for it, you'll know how to do it and not push at my firewall."
"Okay."
The two of them started talking computer jargon, and Tow joined in. Ant was soon lost, so he got up and decided to get back to his game making. When he left the main room, however, he bumped into a pile of bed clothes going the other way.
"Sorry," came Niklas's muffled voice from within. "Whoever you are."
"It's me, "Ant said, hoisting the mound of blankets and pillows off his son, finding a sheepish grin underneath. "Moving out?"
"Moving in. Into the Fourtitude, I mean. I don't want Petey to be alone, so I'm gonna sleepover."
"Okay."
"Really? I can?"
"Sure." Ant chuckled. "I would've said yes even if you had asked me."
"Yeah..." Niklas giggled, squirming as Ant ruffled his hair. "Thanks, papa."
"Anytime." The two of them started walking towards the cargo hold, when Ant's ears suddenly perked. "Hang on, I just thought of something!"
"What?"
"Set up your pillow fort, then meet me in the workshop." He dumped his armful back over Niklas, who groaned with the sudden effort. "To your left. No, left."
The pile veered across the corridor and into the wall, then the boy seemed to steady himself. As soon as he was heading in roughly the right direction, Ant took off. A couple of minutes later he had found the things he needed, and he started heating up Tow's soldering iron. A grin spread across his muzzle. This was something he had done before, after all!
* * * * * *
"A radio?" Niklas poked at the loudspeaker that Ant had just hung around his neck. "Like, listening to the news?"
"Nope." Ant smiled happily. "It's got a microphone, so you can talk into it as well. That way you and Petey can stay in touch even when you go out."
"That's so cool! Thanks, papa."
"I made something similar for me and Four, way back when. Here." He pulled out a yellow sticker from his pocket, and attached it to the boy's shirt. "Now he can see what you see, too. Calm?"
"I'm here, Ant. This is a very kind thing you are doing."
"Could you patch us up to the Fourtitude, please?" There was a beep, and Ant leaned in to whisper in Niklas's ear. "Say something to him."
"Uhm... Petey? Hello?"
"Niklas?" The loudspeaker made the voice sound a bit tinny, but there was no mistaking the mix of joy and confusion. "I can hear you but you're not here. This is weird. Like you're talking inside my mind and not to my microphones."
"Ant made a radio! Now we can talk wherever I go."
"Really? And I can see, too. There's Ant!"
"Hi, Petey." Ant waved at the camera sticker. "Sorry we didn't warn you, but I wanted it to be a surprise."
"I got surprised, for sure." There came a giggle, and Niklas joined in. "I was just thinking about you all, and what you might be doing. Ant, did you know that Niklas is going to spend the night with me? Isn't he sweet?"
"Who, him? Ouch!"
"Serves you right," Niklas huffed, and pulled his foot back for another kick. Ant stepped aside nimbly. "Stand still!"
"You're joking, aren't you?" Petey's voice sounded a bit distressed. "Please don't fight for real."
"Ant's just being a jerk. Nothing new."
"Hey! I'm a great papa."
"Yes. You are." Niklas let go of his pout, and gave Ant a hug. His tail wanted to twitch, but a jab of pain stilled it. "He really is, Petey, and we were just kidding. I promise, he and Four will give you all the help you need."
"And you?"
"And me, of course. I'm your best friend."
All that came from the loudspeaker was a deep, contented sigh.
* * * * * *
Raeder returned to the ship as the afternoon was turning into evening. With him was captain Arrow of the Reaper's Kiss, a rotund man with bushy white hair and beard and a ready smile. They politely declined Four's offer to heat up leftovers from the chickpea casserole he had cooked for the rest of the crew. The captain looked tired, but mostly happy.
"They cleared us. Took a bit of talking, but all charges were dropped."
"Just like that?" Ant asked. "Nothing that will come back to bite our tails later?"
"Most of us don't worry much about tails," captain Arrow chuckled. "But I get your point, Ant, and no. The local authorities themselves, are in more trouble than us."
"What about the remaining pirates?"
"Sadly, a few ships got away. Including the big one." Raeder sighed. "But we've got them recorded, and we know what to look for. And thanks to you, Ant, we know about the Admiral. He'll soon be wanted, galaxy-wide."
"So what happens now?" Tow asked. "We clear to go?"
"Pretty much." Raeder sat down on the couch. "Where's our junior crewman?"
"Sleepovering with Petey," Ant said with a smile. "In the Fourtitude."
"You fixed it up already? And who's Petey?"
"Tell you later. It's kind of a complicated story. Have the others left already?"
"Not yet," Arrow replied. His beard almost rippled when he spoke, and Ant had an instinctive urge to swat at it. "We're having a kind of party tomorrow. A celebration."
"We're celebrating all this?" Four frowned. "Really?"
"Well, we sort of did the right thing." Raeder touched his hand. "And we lost none of our crew members, that's something to celebrate."
"In fact," Arrow went on. "You, Ant, was the only one who got seriously hurt. And with you just there to help us lure them out, we, all of us on all the ships, owe you a lot."
"That's right," Raeder said, smiling wistfully at Ant. "If there's anything we can do for you before our ships start heading off, anything at all, just name it."
It was on Ant's tongue to snap at them, to give them both barrels of his ire for sending him harm's way. And even worse, putting Four and Niklas in danger. His old self would have yelled up a storm. But, something that had been brewing in the back of his mind, suddenly sprang to the forefront. Instead of the snarl he had been preparing, a smirk spread on his lips.
"I've got everything I need." He sat down next to Four and laid an arm around his shoulders. "Everything I could possibly want. Except for one thing."
"Anything."
"Are you really... You're not thinking...?" Ocean blue eyes met Ant's, and Four's smile all but dazzled him. He nodded. "You are the sweetest!"
"Have you heard about a company called ProxyChild?" Ant turned to face the two captains. "I'd like to place a customised order, you foot the bill and we're even. And everything's forgiven."
"I love you." Four leaned against Ant, and rested his head on his shoulder. "But let's not tell the little ones just yet. Petey still needs to find himself properly, before we let him out to roam."
"Of course."
"Everything's forgiven?" Raeder asked, grinning. "Including me?"
"Oh, all right!" Ant rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "I guess I can forgive you."
"Thank you," the captain said as he gently hugged Ant. "We'll still be your space taxi, though, whenever you need."
* * * * * *
The celebration turned into what Ant had half feared; a rabble of rowdy, victory-elated mercenaries drinking all day long. It was, Tow told Ant while the two of them, and Niklas, sat on the Morning Calm's crew area ramp, watching the revelry, not very often that so many ships congregated at the same time. Old friends met up, and new friendships were forged. More than that, even, Ant mused as, once the liquor had been flowing for a while, couples and even throuples sneaked off to who knew where. His ears flicked; he could imagine what they were up to, but he tried his best to keep pictures to form before his mind's eye.
They had found a clearing in a vast forest, and the ships were parked in a semi-circle on the outskirt of it. A creek of clean spring water ran past, and Ant's nose relished in the smell of lush verdancy. Every now and then he could hear the sound of birds, but they were mostly drowned out by the party.
Raeder and Knife and Four were down there, dancing around a large bonfire, singing or chatting away with anyone and everyone. Neither of them were drinking alcohol, but they still seemed to have as good a good time as the others. Ant had done his rounds, greeting the captains and talking to the crews, and he had accepted more apologies than he had known even existed. But pretty soon he had returned to his son and the large mechanic. Like them, he wasn't a crowd person, and he enjoyed the relative calm and quiet. After a while, Tow stood up.
"Retiring?"
"Not in a good, long while," Tow chuckled. "But I'm done for now. I might come back out later, when things settle down."
"You good?"
"Yeah. Mostly." He scratched a whitening sideburn. "It's been many years since I touched the hard stuff, but... Some things never fully leave you, you know."
"I really don't," Ant said. "But I know you're strong. You'll be fine."
"Thanks." A large hand tousled Ant's short hair. "But I am kind of peeved that you dismantled my old radio to make that contraption for the kids."
"Sorry." Ant's ears flattened against his head. "But it looked kind of decrepit, and I couldn't find anything else."
"The proper term is oft-used and well cared for. Listening to the news over the datanet just isn't the same. And you could've borrowed one of the comm bugs we put on you in the casino!"
"I know." Ant pouted. "I didn't think, I just wanted to build something."
"Well, you're forgiven." He grinned. "As if I could ever stay mad at my furry friend."
"Love you too, old man."
"He's really nice," Niklas said in a hushed voice once the door to the mud room had closed. "Really, really nice."
"I know." Ant already had his arm around the boy, and now he gave him an extra squeeze. "He's the best. Are you okay with everything?"
"Yeah. Everyone's happy, nobody's fighting or yelling, even though they're drinking a lot. I still wanna stay here, with you."
"Me too. It's too loud down there, and anyways, I'd much rather spend time with my boy."
Niklas leaned in closer, rubbing his cheek against Ant's chest. They sat there while the afternoon waned, occasionally chatting with Petey via the radio, watching as the party slowly wound down and the fire burned low. Four joined them before it got fully dark, his cheeks flushed and his smile wide.
"I had a lot of fun," he said as he sat down beside Ant and kissed his cheek. "These people are great, and I really enjoyed dancing."
"I saw. They were passing you 'round to one another the whole time."
"Yeah," Four giggled. "Like I was some kind of trophy and they were a sports team. Oh Ant, look!"
Ant was just about to ask what he should look for, when he saw it. Along the river, tiny lights had come on, and they were bobbing together over the water and in among the grass. They were avoiding the few who were still dancing, but otherwise they spread throughout the clearing. The whole display reminded Ant of the fairy lights he had once bought for Four, even though the only colour here was yellow.
"Are they little stars?" Niklas whispered, removing his camera sticker and holding it up so Petey could see. "Come down from the sky?"
"They're fireflies," Four said. "Insect that can make light on their own. It's called bioluminescence."
"School word," the boy huffed. He climbed into Ant's lap, and draped one furry arm around himself. The other, Ant had already placed over Four's shoulders. "I'll call them star bugs."
"It really is beautiful." Ant leaned back a little and gazed up at the sky. "The real stars are out, too."
They sat in silence, and watched the slow, rhythmic dance that must have been playing out ever since the planet, whose name Ant had forgotten, was bioformed. Using instincts that had probably originated back on Earth, who knew how many years ago. He could look it all up somewhere on the datanet, but he decided not to ruin the magic with facts.
There was a hissing noise, and when he turned to look, Ant saw that someone was putting the fire out using a water hose. The few remaining revellers returned to their ships, or to someone else's. The celebration was over. Raeder and Knife came and sat behind them on the ramp, and soon after, Tow joined them as well. They all stayed quiet, as the fireflies now spread to fill the whole clearing.
With stars above him and stars below, surrounded by his loved ones, Ant felt more at peace than ever before. An inner calm spread through him, and his chest felt fit to burst. The events of the previous days were still raw inside him, but the bad paled next to the good. Suddenly, it was all too much. He needed to let his emotions out. Needed to tell the world that he was there, and that he was happy.
"Oooooo..." It had been a long time since his last howl. After his mother's death Ant hadn't even taken part in the communal howls back in the Belt. And, his voice had broken since then. "...oooooo..."
It was no good! That sounded more like whimpers. He needed to find his song, before he started crying. He was done with crying. It was getting old! Glancing down into his lap, he saw Niklas's bright green eyes, giving him a quizzical look. And to his right, Four's ocean blue. The young man who had once been his little robot friend, and was now so much more, gave a slight nod. Ant's heart sped up, just a little.
"Oooooooo!"
That was better. He raised his muzzle to the sky, and sang. There was sadness in his voice; all he had been through, all he had lost, could not be denied. But he painted his newfound joy around and over it. Let love and happiness shine.
He howled for his Four. The love he thought he had lost forever, only to find anew, their bond stronger than ever. And for Niklas, the boy who had come into his life and was now a true part of it. His son. His and Four's son. Note after note rang out into the night, and from somewhere far away, his own echo replied. Then again, and again, until it felt as if a choir of wolfs serenaded the night.
He sang for Raeder as well. His friend, his captain. And for the others. Tow, precious Tow. The rock around whom life aboard the Morning Calm was truly built. Knife, often harsh and grumpy but steadfast and ever loyal. Calm, who in her own way, loved all her crew. And Petey, who had taken the first steps into a new world. He sang for Petey, too, wove him into his family song.
And, he howled for himself. For Ant, the young wolf who was beginning to find his place in the galaxy. A wolf who had, his whole life, fought for his independence. Strived to make his own path. Only, after finding all that, to realise that the long road needn't be travelled alone. He never wanted be alone again. For the first time ever, he truly cherished the loss of his solitude.
The last note of his howl was a long one, wavering in pitch as his emotions poured out through his voice. When his lungs emptied, he lowered his head and drew in a deep breath through his nose. All the scents, the smells of home, of family, filled him. Revitalised him.
Niklas's arms were around him, and the boy nuzzled his neck. Four hugged them both, his now longer arms giving a good, comforting squeeze. Ant wanted to stay in this moment, live his life surrounded by such love. And why not? He was done losing things. This time, he would keep what he had gained. Life. Love. Companionship.
His very own pack.
He heard Tow and Knife get up to leave. Sturdy footsteps that shook the ramp, and soft taps that would be all but unhearable to human ears. They both patted his shoulders, but didn't say anything. It was as if the silence following Ant's howl had taken hold, demanding to be heard. And it was, for a few more seconds, until it was broken by the loudspeaker on Niklas's chest.
"That was so beautiful," Petey said in a half-whispered voice. "I didn't know anyone could sing like that."
"Only wolfs," Ant whispered back. "It's called howling."
"It was great. Do you need me any more tonight? I was thinking about shutting down."
"You do that," Four said. "I think we'll sleep out here on the ramp. It's not cold, and there are good guys all around us, so we'll be safe. Sweet dreams, Petey."
"You too!"
Ant yawned. He was feeling more than drowsy, and he didn't want to get up. Niklas had already dozed off. After all the excitement of the last few days, the boy needed his sleep. Raeder, however, got to his feet. The captain leaned down to give both Ant and Four hugs, then he took off his flight suit jacket and handed it to Four. Ant smiled, hoping that his friend could see in the near-dark of starlight, that the gesture was appreciated. Four rolled up the garment and placed it behind Ant, then pushed him back, gently so that he had time to move his bandaged tail out of the way. A perfect pillow. He stretched out his left arm, and Four cuddled up close, his arm around the sleeping Niklas. Shortly after, all Ant could hear was soft, steady breathing.
He stayed awake a little longer, his thoughts not quite ready to settle down. All the feelings he had placed into his howl still swam inside him. His mind returned to another night, on the couch inside the Fourtitude. They had been visiting a world called Aguila, during the All Hearts' Day festivities. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Back then, he had been pondering romance, thinking about how finding love and settling down always seemed to be the end of the book. About how he, himself, wouldn't want any of that. How wrong he had been!
Because this wasn't the end. Yes, he had found out what love truly was, and he had his Four back with him. Now and always. His life, their life together, would go on and on. As for settling down, well...
Someone much wiser than Ant had once said, 'maybe we could settle down just a little'. No truer words. Ant had a home in Konigsbrucke, at Mrs Brunner's inn. He had a home with the Morning Calm. And with the Fourtitude. And on New Mérida, on Land's End, on Seaport, on Laya. He had many homes to settle down in. For a little while.
And hopefully, many more to come. His story was far from over. There was a lot of galaxy left to explore. Maybe his family would go with him, maybe at times they would go separate ways. For a little while.
In the end, when the day was done and all was said, they would still be together. He and Four, Niklas and Petey, the Morning Calm crew. Together in heart and mind, if nothing else. They were a work in progress. A story to be told and retold, expanded upon.
Back then, on the couch with a smaller Four in his arms, a different Ant had been confused about things like heart and love, not realising that he already had what he needed. Well, he did know now. A little older, a little wiser. Ant yawned again, and closed his eyes. He had been wrong, so wrong. Finding true love was not the end. Settling down was not the end. While Ant's mind began to drift away, one truth shone bright and clear to him.
He was already living his happily ever after.
The End...
...of the book story.
