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BrigantineW
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An Uneasy Sunday Morning: A Nick and Knox Story

nick_and_knox_2.doc
Keywords male 1185085, canine 188076, feline 149195, male/male 123273, tiger 38584, sfw 28260, romance 8927, labrador 2277, enemies to lovers 11, second chance 6, gay awakening 4
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Knox
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I jolted awake, sitting bolt upright and knocking the knit blanket that someone draped over me to the floor. Three thoughts hit me in rapid succession, along with the ghost of sensation; warm breath on my cheek, a tingle in my lips. I forced those feelings aside before I had to examine them too closely, and I took stock of the more immediate situation at hand.

One: I was sleeping on Nick's couch in nothing but my boxers. Why?

Two: I had only a hazy memory of what happened last night. What the...?

Three: I shouldn't have sat up that fast. *Whurg*

The hangover hit me like a semi truck hitting a cantaloupe. My head pounded, my mouth filled with the sour flavor of bile, and the room spun around me. With a moan, I shut my lids and lowered myself back down to the couch, desperately fighting to keep my churning stomach from fully rebelling.

"Knox? You good there?"

I cracked open one eye, and Nick's blurry shape swam into view. At least I wasn't the only one underdressed; Nick was wearing nothing but a pair of tight black briefs. Another flash of memory hit me  -  Nick in a pair of loose black gym shorts, easing me down onto the couch, his lean muscle bunching as he heaved my heavy body into a more comfortable position. His touch was gentle, almost like a caress, and I'd... Nope. Nope, nope, nope! I shoved that bizarrely intimate thought aside, and with a groan, I flopped an arm over my face. My tongue was all thick and fuzzy, and my articulation culminated in something that was more of a sound instead of a word.

"Muh."

Nick chuckled softly, almost fondly, and that made my stomach twist in a whole different way. Heat filled my body, so hot I would've believed it if I'd started steaming in the state of near-refrigeration in the room. And then I started sweating buckets. What the hell is wrong with me now? I didn't have much time to dwell on it, though, because the retriever grabbed my wrist and pressed a cold plastic bottle into my paw. "Here ya go, man, drink this. You seem like you're having a rough time of it. But yeah, I left and got some sports drinks from the gas station earlier." A moment of hesitation. "You, uh, you do still like blue, right?"

Things had settled a bit, and I knew the headache wouldn't be getting better until I put some fluids into me, so I sat up again  -  real, real slow this time  -  and looked down at the drink Nick had given me. I cracked the top, taking a long pull from it, and instantly a shiver of relief washed over my body. I raised the bottle to Nick in salute. "Thanks for this. And yeah, you're almost right. I don't just like blue, it's my favorite."

The shy smile Nick ducked his head to hide confused me, but I didn't have the brainpower to spend contemplating why. He rallied quickly, though, and hooked a thumb at the kitchen behind him. "I'll get breakfast started. Figured you could use something to eat after..." Now he blushed, folding his ears back to hide the darkening insides. What was up with him? "... After everything last night." Nick wouldn't meet my gaze anymore, and he turned stiffly as he walked to the kitchen. Calling over his shoulder, he said, "If you're up to it, you can sit at the table while I cook. I have more of those drinks in the fridge, too."

Numbly, I padded over to the table that the Southwells had placed in the eat-in kitchen. It looked startlingly familiar, and I traced a claw over the deep scratches that had worn in over the years. "Is this the same table your family had back when we were kids?"

"Oh, yeah, sure is," Nick replied absently. He'd placed a pan on the stove and started retrieving a pack of bacon from the fridge. I heard him start humming something as he placed down six strips that sizzled when they touched the hot pan, and his tail wagged slowly behind him. Then, for some reason I still can't explain, my gaze drifted to his butt.

I'd never believed a guy had a nice ass before, but damn, Nick filled out his briefs perfectly. Two round, pert orbs that were a tantalizing size; more than enough to make you sit up and take notice, but something that Nick had easily concealed beneath the loose pants he'd worn the last couple of times I saw him. My fingers twitched, and I had a wild and crazy urge to walk up behind him and grab a couple handfuls of  -

What the ever-living FUCK?!

I wrenched my gaze downward. My heart was pounding a mile a minute, and I broke out in a cold sweat. I must have been breathing hard, too, because Nick turned away from the bacon to fix me with a concerned stare. "Hey, you okay, man? Need to lie down again?" His eyes flicked down to the empty bottle in my paw. "Oh, yeah, you're empty. Let me get you another."

A few moments later, I had a fresh bottle in my hand, the empty was in the recycling can, and my heart had finally calmed down. After frying up some eggs and making buttered toast, we had breakfast, too. "This'll help with the hangover. I tried to make the eggs runny, but I uh... well, I kinda suck at that, so they might be a little firm."

A warmth spread through my chest. Nick was being so nice to me today, taking care of me... I didn't trust it. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to simply sit back and enjoy having my friend again, but...

"Mngh!" My head suddenly throbbed and my vision swam. Nick moved to get up, but I raised a paw to stop him. "M'fine... it's my head. Thanks for breakfast, Nick." I picked up a strip of bacon and took a bite. Just the right mix of chewy and crisp, and the fatty, salty bite made me shiver a little. "The bacon's pretty okay." Okay? It's perfection on a plate, you asshole! Give him a damn compliment!

I did not, in fact, give him a compliment. Instead, I asked, "So, uh... why are you being so nice to me? Don't you still hate my guts?"

Nick raised an eyebrow at that, cocking his head to the side so that his ears flopped over. Adorable. "Didn't we talk about all that last night? Besides, even I'm not mean enough to get someone drunk and abandon them to the walk of shame. Oh! Your clothes are in the dryer, by the way."

And that explained... absolutely nothing. I crunched on another piece of bacon as I sighed. "Walk of shame...?" What did I have to be ashamed of? Did I do something? "Dude, I barely remember last night. I remember drinking like, two doubles of that scotch, and a shot of vodka. I, uh... kind of said sorry a lot, I guess? And I got super nervous, waiting for your reply, and it's all kinda... blank."

Nick froze, his back going ram-rod straight. "You don't... you don't remember that you..." He palmed his face as his shoulders started shaking. I thought he'd started crying at first, and well, I guess he kind of was. But a fit of laughter soon accompanied the tears, loud, and a little unhinged. "Of course you don't. Guess it really was the alcohol talking."

"What did I do this time? Shit, did I say something mean to you? I'm sor-"

The dog across from me rolled his eyes. "Oh my God, Knox, stop apologizing so much. You didn't do anything bad, just... confusing, I guess." Nick polished off his last bite of toast and egg, dusted off his paws, and fixed me with a gaze that would've been comforting if he hadn't looked so damn sad.

"You said your apology, and I forgave you, Knox. I still mean it, too. You get one more chance to show me you can be my friend. I don't entirely trust you, not yet, but I'll give you time to work on it. You've got the entire month, anyway; I had a lot of vacation time saved up. And you, um..." Now he blushed again, and he kept sliding his gaze away from mine. "You... hugged me. And we like, cuddled, a little? You did that thing where you rub your head on the top of mine, and you started purring. It was, ah... sweet. So, yeah, legitimately thanks for that."

Another memory clicked into place. Nick's palms pressed against my chest, my heart thumping so hard I was stunned he didn't feel it. He was close. So close that my snout was drowning in nothing but peaches and cinnamon. His muzzle tilted up towards mine, and something was important about that angle, but as suddenly as it came, the memory was slipping away again, leaving me with only a vague sense of longing and a heat that rose deep in my belly, something impossible to easily ignore or explain away.

My face flushed with heat, too. "Um, you're welcome, I guess? Heh... But you haven't explained how I lost my clothes yet."

"Oh, that's  -  well, after we cuddled, you..." Now Nick was squirming in his seat, chewing on a claw, and his chin dipped down as he slanted his body away from me. "Y-you ki-" Nick cleared his throat loudly and shook his head a little. "You, uh... threw up on us. A-and the rug. And then you passed out. But nothing else happened."

Nick was hiding something from me. It was easy to tell  -  he wasn't slick; he'd almost said it, but right now I supposed I had more important fish to fry. The curiosity over what he wasn't saying paled compared to the more immediate flush of shame that pumped through my veins. "Oh, dude, I'm so sorry. I haven't been that drunk in a really long time, and I should've been in better control." A brief memory from last night resurfaced, and I blinked a few times as I let it click into my brain. "Oh! I remember you saying you had a really high tolerance for alcohol. Thought you were pullin' my leg, but you really do, don't you?"

Nick blanched, but rallied so quickly I'd have believed I was imagining things if not for the obviously shaky smile he wore. "Oh, that's uh, good. And you don't remember anything else... right?" His pink tongue flicked out to wet his warm, soft lips, and as I watched it happen, the last of my memories of last night finally slotted into place.

The press of Nick's slender body against mine, the way he held me while I cried, and the way he seemed to still fit in my arms after all this time. He gave me an innocent kiss on the cheek, nothing behind it, no ulterior motives, and...

And it set me on fire. He cared. After all the pain I'd caused him, my best friend was still in there somewhere, and he still cared. And I didn't know what to do with all these feelings that came flooding back, back like the day he'd asked me to homecoming. So, I froze, and that made him panic and start apologizing like he'd been the one who hurt me. I didn't want to let him be the one apologizing, not when I was the one at fault. I needed to show Nick that he hadn't hurt me, hadn't done anything wrong, that he'd always been the best of us. Everything went hot and hazy, and my head was spinning. The words wouldn't come, and he started pulling away. I couldn't let that happen, couldn't let him get away when I'd only just got him back, so I did the only thing that came to mind, and I...

Holy fucking shit. I'd kissed Nick Southwell. And  -  God almighty above  -  He'd kissed me back. The memory burned so bright it almost... no, it definitely hurt, setting a fire in me I didn't have the slightest idea how to douse.

And the thing that had me tied up in knots was how right it had been. I'd kissed some... well, a lot of girls, and it had always been kinda... well, it was okay. I'd just assumed I wasn't into kissing. But then again, no kiss had ever set off fireworks in my brain or caused my heart to stutter like the one that Nick and I shared last night.

And that freaked me the hell out. I couldn't deal with these weird emotions. And... what if I didn't have to? Nick seemed to realize it was a mistake, too. Otherwise, he'd have said something about it... right?

I shot up from the table, leaving behind my mostly finished plate of food, and started backing away. Nick's eyebrows knit together, but when he stood, it was with an abundance of caution, worry etched into his finely sculpted features. "Knox," he said in a low whisper, "What's going on?"

"N-nothing!" I yelped, my face heating so hard it went all puffy and tingly. "I, uh, just remembered I need to get to the shop. Clothes are in the dryer, yeah?"

"It's Sunday. Most the whole town's closed on Sundays." Nick's hand reached out toward my arm, trembling, like he was trying to tell if he was allowed to touch me or not. Hell, I didn't couldn't tell if he was allowed to touch me or not; my bicep twitched, already practically feeling his warm hands, his tender caress, and I shivered. But he lowered it quickly and let out a gusty sigh. Nick stared down at the floor beneath his feet as he shrugged. "Yeah, they should be dry by now. Do you want me to get them for you, or  - "

"Naw, I'll get `em. It's down the hall, right?" The words rushed out a little too quickly as I hustled off to the laundry room. It was basically the same as when we'd been kids; pocket door, country floral wallpaper that was faded with time, linoleum floor. The washer and dryer were different, though  -  brand new, all sleek gray plastic and stainless steel. I pulled my still-warm clothes out of the dryer, and the nostalgic scent of the peony-scented fabric softener the Southwells always used flooded my nose. It grounded me momentarily, pulling me back to a simpler time when I used to stay at Nick's place so frequently his mom joked I was the second son she never knew she wanted.

God, I really messed things up, didn't I?

Then I realized I'd been standing around Nick's laundry room in my boxers like a dumbass, and I hurriedly pulled on my clothes. I absently noted that he'd got the bottoms of my socks completely white again, and I considered asking him how he'd done it, but if I did that I'd have to talk to him again, and that thought sent cold shivers down my spine. Definitely some other time, I told myself, and I for the life of me, I didn't know how to tell if I was lying or not.

Dressed, I ambled back out to the kitchen, where I saw Nick sitting at the breakfast table, his face buried in his hands. He was muttering to himself so quietly, I almost didn't pick it up, even with my excellent hearing. Shit, is he okay? Did I really freak him out that much? Oh, hell, I'm ruining my chance to be close to him already, aren't I... what am I doing to this man?!

Well, I had to do something. I took a step forward, unsure of what I wanted to  -  no, needed to  -  say, and planted my foot right on the loud, creaky floorboard that had been there as long as I'd remembered. We'd both been so keyed up that we jumped, leaving my heart racing  -  I'd completely forgotten about that damn board  -  and stared at each other in terror for a solid three or four seconds. Then, the tension between us eased somewhat, and we both dissolved into laughter.

"Oh... oh man, Knox, your tail is super-poofed right now!"

I wiped away a tear from my eye. "And you look like I just slapped you!" I struggled to get my breathing under control. We laughed together for a few minutes before I sobered enough to have the more serious conversation we needed. I sat at the table next to Nick and hovered my hand over his, trying to decide whether I should put mine on top of his, or quietly lace our fingers together and  -  What the fuck is with me today? I put my paw to the back of my neck to scratch at it instead. "Uh, hey, so, about last night  - "

"Don't worry about it." Nick interrupted me. "You, um, you remembered... something, right?" I nodded slowly, my mouth suddenly dry. Nick drummed his fingers on the table. "Yeah, so, things definitely got a little, uh, weird. I'll forget the... weird parts, if you will. Deal?"

I nodded again dumbly, and my voice came out choked and gravelly when I replied. "U-uh, yeah. Deal."

We made awkward small talk after that for a while. He'd said something about a crazy case, some client he'd defended whose work was lying about how he got injured. I countered with the most bizarre object I'd pulled out of a tailpipe; someone had melted a sex toy into the exhaust of their car (we both laughed at that one). Pointless stuff, really, but friendly. Thing was that the whole time, I was barely conscious of the words I said. After a few more brief anecdotes, I fell silent and let him do all the talking, nodding along as my body grew cold and numb. Nick's lips moved, and words came out, but instead of listening, the only thought in my mind was their soft, satiny press as mine roughly crashed against his.

I tried thinking of anything else. More cars, baseball, Mrs. Wyrdmott, anything. Hell, I even tried my ex-wife, Katie. No distraction worked for more than a few moments before that kiss with Nick somehow slipped into my mind again. And again, and again.

I stood suddenly, my chair scraping against the hardwood floor. "I, uh, think I should go, Nick." My voice was harsh, so sharp it could cut glass, and for a moment I was afraid Nick would hear the turmoil inside the sudden declaration. Nick blinked, surprised, and I had to turn away before he saw what was going through my head written in large, plain letters all over my face. His golden ears sagged, and I saw him worrying at a claw again as he tried to make sense of my ridiculous reaction. Fuck. I think made him self-conscious. That's... unintentional. Damn, what to do... "Oh!" I exclaimed, making Nick jump and snap his eyes back to me. "Here! Give me your phone."

Nick put a possessive paw over his device, glaring at me mistrustfully, and I sighed. "I'm not gonna do anything, uh... weird! I just want to give you my phone number. So we can, like, text, or whatever." Turning my face to the side and crossing my arms, I tried and failed not to pout a little. When I finally spoke, my voice came out way sulkier than I intended. "It's fine, I get it, you don't trust me. I only wanted to  - "

Something nudged against my elbow, and I turned to see what it was. Nick was holding out his phone, and... Is he blushing? I saw the red tinge through the short fur on his muzzle and high on his sculpted cheekbones. "Just... don't go snooping around, y'hear?"

Cute, said my traitor brain. No, shut up! He's a guy! We don't think guys are 'cute'!

I took Nick's phone, which he'd already unlocked for me, and tapped in my number. When I handed it back to him, his fingers brushed against mine, and the brief touch send a jolt of electricity straight up my spine. I wrestled with an overwhelming desire to ask for him to touch me again. There's no way that little intrusive thought needed to win. Unfortunately, I didn't win the battle completely, and the words bubbled up out of me as I blurted out, "Whoa, hey there, soft paws!"

Okay, now he snatched his hand back, and he cringed. Nick did the most adorable (watch it, you!) wiggle as he squirmed in his seat. "I-I moisturize." He shook his head vigorously before meeting my eyes with a pleading expression. "Weren't you... going somewhere?"

"Not really, I... Oh! T-the shop. Right." I wanted to get as far away from Nick  -  no, from this whole situation  -  as possible, but simultaneously wanted to pick him up, set him in my lap on the couch, and wrap my arms around him until he stopped trembling. And God, he was trembling, his paws balled up in his lap. Was he cold, sitting there in nothing but those tiny briefs? Or was he really that pissed at me? God, I really couldn't tell what he was thinking. Those ten years apart had really separated us; I used to be able to read him like a book, but now it was like some impassable chasm had formed between us. "If you... if you want, I can hang out a little longer, I guess?"

Nick's eyes flicked up and down my body, searching for something I didn't understand how to put a name to, but a strange twisty sensation inside caused me to pull my shoulders back and stand up straight. He licked those satiny lips again and sighed, slumping in his chair. "No. You should go." I crumpled a bit myself, and he must've felt sorry for me because he quickly held up his paws in a placating gesture. "No, no, it's not... look, I need time. To think about... well, uh, the weird stuff. Pack it away." He gave me one more crooked smile, but unlike the casual ones before breakfast, this one never reached his eyes. "I'll text you. You've still got my car, anyway. And the reunion is Tuesday afternoon, so I'll at least see you there. Will my car be ready by then?"

Nick started padding toward the door, barely making any sound as his bare feet hit the floor. I followed him, smiling softly to myself. He'd always walked quietly. Used to sneak up on me all the time and goose my sides, scaring the bejeezus out of me. A part of me wished he'd do it again, missing the casual closeness of touch I'd once had with my best friend; I'd never quite had that with anyone else, come to think of it. At least he'd never lost the knack for sneaking, I supposed. We made it all the way to the front of the house before I realized I hadn't answered him. "Oh! Uh, no, I probably won't, sorry. There're some parts I need to order, and the new wheel will take at until at least next week to come in." The retriever's face turned into a frown, and in a panic I blurted out, "I'll take you! Anywhere you need to go!"

Still frowning, Nick quirked an eyebrow. "You sure? Not afraid to be seen with the resident pariah of Mavis?"

"It's fine!" I practically shouted, and his eyes widened. I took a deep breath to calm my fraying nerves, and in a softer voice, I said, "It's fine, Nick. The town's been changing... not a lot, I guess, but some. Besides, other people's opinions don't... well, okay, I guess their opinions do kinda still matter to me, but I'll get over that." I swallowed down a lump in my throat. "F-for you. Besides, everyone knows I'm not gay. I married a woman, after all." Chuckling unconvincingly, I pulled on my shoes and stepped past my friend to the door. Lingering, my hand rested on the doorframe as I stood, facing away from him, knowing that if I turned and saw him one more time, I'd never leave. "I'll, um... I'll wait for your text. Yeah?"

"Yeah," Nick breathed, and suddenly I realized I could sense him standing behind me. He was only about a foot away, and my arms started aching. It only took me a moment to realize that what I wanted was to grab him, pull him in, crush him tightly against my chest, and never, ever let go. I slowly raised an arm and gave a single short wave before I left his house without another word.

Coward!. What are you so afraid of?

I really, truly didn't have the answer to that.

-
Nick
 -


Knox left, and I shut the door behind him. Then I leaned against the door, gently banging my head a few times against the hard, unyielding wood. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Every moment I spent with the man, it got harder and harder to remember that I was supposed to be mad at him. That he hadn't done anything to earn my trust other than an "I'm sorry" and a Tupperware full of cookies. Cookies he made for you from scratch, all on his own.

And talk about mixed signals! Sure, last night he'd been drunk, and he hadn't remembered that kiss at first. But he'd kissed me! He kissed me! And every part of me that craved his presence, his touch, his warmth... all the secret parts of myself that I'd buried in senior year came roaring back to life.

I'd forgotten how kind and caring he was when he tried. How sincere, honest, and thoughtful. And it didn't hurt that Knox was now built like a brick shithouse, either. I stalked back to the couch, laying down on it and closing my eyes, trying to recapture the moment the man had kissed me.

Knox's arms, strong as corded steel, flexing as his meaty paws roughly grabbed my face and pulled me forward. His kiss, hot, desperate, and claiming, pressing against my lips like there was no-one in the world but us two. His cologne, spicy and woodsy, and the leather and musk underneath. The aftertaste of alcohol and cookies, and the uniquely sweet flavor that had to be him. His sappy, dopey, stunned expression when he'd let me go. The breathless way he'd whispered "Wow". It'd been better than any fantasy I'd had as a kid, so much hotter that it was the difference between the match and the bonfire. He'd wanted me, really wanted me, he'd kissed me and liked it, and... and...

And then he barfed on me. I sighed, the interest that had been building in my briefs flooding out of me in an instant. He hadn't even remembered it! And when he finally did remember, he instantly freaked out, and it was like he was racing to see how fast he could get dressed and away from me. We'd seemed to have regained some sense of normalcy after I told him I'd forget about it, but things had still been, to overuse the word, weird. Especially that moment right before he left; it's like he wanted to stay, but somehow wasn't able to admit what he wanted. I supposed I couldn't blame him for that; I didn't understand exactly what I wanted, either.

He didn't even say goodbye.

My eyes started stinging, and my lower lip quivered. Damn it! You will not cry over some drunk straight boy! Clearly, he wasn't thinking  -  he even said he wants to forget it, too. Just let things go back to how they were before.

But the thing is, I didn't want that. I didn't want things to go back to before. For the briefest possible moment, Knox had been mine, and I'd been his, and now that I'd had a (literal) taste, I didn't see a way to go back. I flashed back to one of those many moments back in high school, when Knox and I were close. I was on the debate team, and I'd just lost a big one. The janitor's closet made a perfect place to hide, and I was sobbing my eyes out when Knox came and found me.

"H-how did you find me?" I asked.

"Know you." Knox sidled into the closet and shut the door behind him. "You're not so hard to get a read on. Bet I know you better than you know yourself." He gave me a wink and a cheeky grin.

"If only you knew the truth," I muttered. When I snorted, trying to prevent my nose from running, Knox pressed a tissue into my palm, and I let out a loud honk as I cleared things up.

"It's pretty tight in here," he said. "Scooch."

"Wha-?" I looked up, my eyes still hot and swimming, but Knox had already stepped behind me and planted his butt on the floor. His trunk-like legs stuck out beside my skinny ones, and his chest pressed against my back while wrapping me up in his beefy arms.

Knox squeezed me tight, almost crushing me, but I reveled in the warmth and stability he provided. "Shh," he whispered. "It'll be okay. I got you."

And like that, my eyes overflowed again, and I bawled in his arms while he rocked me back and forth. Knox nuzzled his head against the top of mine and softly whispered reassurances while I let it all out.

After the crying was done, he scooped me up in his arms  -  banging my head against the wall, because we were in a closet still  -  and we laughed together. He carried me out into the hallway and all the way to the parking lot, where our cars were the last ones left for the day, and finally set me down, propping me against my car.

"Thanks, man." I sighed, hoping my face wasn't too stained from my outburst. I scrubbed my paws against my cheeks, anyway. "What am I going to do when I go off to college? I'm gonna miss  - "

Knox pressed a soft, warm kiss to the top of my head as he pulled me into his arms for one more hug. "Don't even think about it. It's you and me together, forever. Don't think for a single minute that I'll ever let you go, Nick."

But he had let me go, hadn't he? He'd hurt me, bad. But he really seemed like he'd changed these days. I wanted to trust that he wouldn't hurt me again. And it was probably my too-trusting nature, but it could be a sign that we could finally start healing. Mom and Dad always told me to find that silver lining in everything; I guess this was mine.

I walked over to the kitchen, my eyes still slightly blurry, and started clearing the breakfast dishes. Cleanup was always my least favorite part of cooking, but at least Knox seemed to like what I made. Sort of. Fine, he'd said it was okay, which, sure, whatever, it's not like I was a world-class chef. Seriously, the fanciest thing I knew how to make was tuna noodle hot dish... although that was pretty good. Dang, now I had a craving. "Welp, I guess I've decided what I'm doing for dinner tonight" I said to the empty house.

I mentally made a list of ingredients I'd need before letting my mind wander aimlessly as I scrubbed the dishes and set them on the rack to dry. I trotted back to my room to get dressed for the day, since I'd showered last night, pulling on a white tank top and a pair of cut-off jean shorts. Since I hadn't really bought clothes for walking in the summer heat (like an idiot), I'd dug through the box of old clothes mom had stored in my closet. Pleased, yet slightly chagrined, at the fact that my old stuff from high school still fit, I slipped into the pair of running shoes I'd brought and started walking to the grocer.

My parent's house was set back on acreage, so it took me about forty minutes to get to the main road, and another fifteen to walk to the store. At least there wasn't any reason to hurry, I supposed. The ding when I opened the door sounded pleasingly familiar in a way I hadn't known I'd missed. In fact, it sounded exactly the same as when I'd been a teenager.

Then I looked at the register, and saw Clark Graham, the panther who'd been a year behind me, standing behind the counter. He was admittedly pretty easy on the eyes. Wasn't as tall as Knox, but just as broad-chested and thickly muscled, something he had earned from hard years of slinging hay bales on his family's farm.

He'd also particularly enjoyed stuffing my head in the boy's room toilet every chance he'd gotten. The minute I'd seen him, my shoulders tensed, and I shrank down as far as I could. Every instinct I had screamed at me to run right back out that door, casserole be damned, and get as far away from him as possible.

But when I chanced a second glance, he was just... looking at me, wearing a puzzled expression on his face. His old predatory gaze was gone, replaced by a look that was equally intense, but halting and uncertain.

I stiffened. "Somethin' you need, Clark?"

He finally blinked. "What?" Blinked again. "No... no. I don't need... what?"

Clark's face had gone completely blank now. He never was the brightest bulb in the box, and I swear you could practically smell the smoke from the gears turning in his head. "Well, you're the one starin'." I gave him my best glare back, suddenly feeling bolder. "What did I do this time? Or is it the fact that I exist in your territory that's getting you this time?"

The stocky panther moved out from behind the counter without any of the malicious grace he'd had in high school. No, he was hesitant, almost fragile, like I was a wild animal and he was afraid I'd startle and bound off into the forest, never to be seen again. "No, you're... Nick?" Even the way he'd said my name was off  -  soft and wondering, like he'd never felt the shape of it in his mouth before.

I caught the tremor in his paws as they clenched and unclenched at his sides, and I spared a moment to wonder what he was hiding. Knox had done this, too. God, I'd lost count of how many times this scene played out, every time he fought to keep something hidden deep inside.

Suddenly unsure of what to do next, I let out a laugh. "Yeah, and?" Nothing could've disguised the bitterness in my voice, and for once, I didn't want to. I grabbed a basket before turning to locate the canned goods aisle. Shit, they've remodeled. Guess I'll have to check around  -

When a heavy paw landed on my shoulder, I let out a very un-manly yelp as I about jumped out of my skin. Unlike high school, though, the paw immediately retracted, and I whirled around to see Clark standing right behind me, his hands raised in front of himself, eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.

"Fuck, I-" he whispered.

"What the actual hell are you doing?! You don't get to touch me! Damn it, high school was ten years ago, leave me the hell alone!" I screeched. I didn't care overly much if my voice had shot up an entire octave. The man was clearly insane.

Clark shrank in on himself, and when I finished yelling, he looked at me with glistening eyes, his ears flat and whiskers drooping. "D-dude, I just wanted to... Look, I'm sorry. I'm real, real sorry."

"What?" I didn't know what to make of his reaction. Honestly, I felt kinda bad for yelling at him now. "Uh, don't worry about it. Like, you really don't have permission to touch me, but it's really not that big a deal. Don't do it again, okay?"

"No, I  -  no, I'm not sorry for right now, I  -  okay, no, I am, but that's not what I was apologizing for." The panther took a deep breath, and as he blew it out through his nose, I watched some of the tension leave his shoulders. "No, I'm sorry for like, high school. I was a dick, and I wanted to... I dunno. Anyway, I'm sorry."

My mouth dropped open. Were all my bullies going to start apologizing to me? What the hell? "Er, okay?" I blinked, trying to process what he was saying. The apology seemed genuine, but no small part of me wanted to push him away, keeping him firmly in the box labeled `high school bully'. Forgiveness seemed too easy, but... was it time for me to move on, too?

Clark seemed to be waiting for something from me, a questioning, almost needy gaze having taken over his features. His tail waved stiffly behind him, further betraying his nervousness. "What do you want from me, Clark? It's been ten years. Hell, I still have PTSD from the shit you all put me through, if the way you've been scaring the shit outta me is anything to go by."

He winced, but nodded. "I, uh... fuck. I'm not good with words like you are. Dunno how to say this." Clark licked his lips, and I caught the slightest tremor in his hands before he clasped them together in front of himself. "I'm, uh... I've been thinkin' a lot ever since I found my own place and moved out of my mom's."

I waited, but when nothing further came out other than a kind of intense stare from the man, I shrugged at him. "Okay. You've been thinking. Good for you; That must've been, like, super hard for you."

I'd spat those words out with unconcealed venom, but if they affected Clark at all, he didn't show it as he nodded along. "Yeah. It has been hard."

More uncomfortable staring. "Clark?"

"Hmm?"

I let out a frustrated growl. "Dude, what the fuck do you want?! Come on!"

"Oh!" He jolted like he'd stuck his finger in a power outlet. "Oh, uh, I wanted to tell you that..." Clark cleared his throat and looked down at his beat-up sneakers as he shuffled his feet. "I wanted to tell you..." He trailed off again, like his tiny brain couldn't figure out how to finish a sentence. I flinched when he raised an arm, but it just went to the back of his neck, where he scratched at the scruff there. "Shit, this is harder than I thought it would be. I'm... sorry, okay? For everything. For what I did  -  and who I was  -  back then."

I made an obvious show of rolling my eyes at him before turning away. "That all? Cause you already said that a minute ago. This is my aisle, so if you're done, I'm gonna go. Good talk. Have a nice day." Without looking, I stepped confidently into the nearest aisle.

When I glanced around, I groaned. Family planning? Shit. Now I have to pretend I wanted condoms or something. I busied myself with looking interested in the display, and was trying to find a way out of this weird-ass situation, when I detected the heat of another body close  -  too close  -  to mine, and Clark's shadow fell over me.

I shrank in on myself, turning to face my second-biggest fear as tremors raced through me. "C-Clark?" I stuttered, unable to keep the shakiness from my voice. "Dude, wha-"

"You're..." The panther cleared his throat, tongue darting out to wet his lips as his eyes darted around. His voice was halting, hesitant, when he tried again. "Look. Back then, you were the first person I ever really, um... noticed?" He sounded unsure of himself, and it didn't escape my notice that he'd started trembling, or that he'd fixed his eyes on some distant point behind me instead of actually on me. "You were so confident, so damn smart. I thought if I kept you down, kept you at a distance, maybe I'd stop feeling..." He'd trailed off again, fixing me with an expectant look, like he was waiting for me to finish the sentence on my own.

Sweat stained the underarms of his tan polo shirt and matted the fur on his brow. I didn't get what he was getting at, and I was too afraid to be wrong here, so I cocked an eyebrow and said, "Feeling... what?"

Clark swallowed audibly, wringing his hands together. "That..." He wrenched his gaze away from me to stare at  -  no, through  -  a row of sanitary napkins. "That you're, um... you're cute. I guess. And smart. And generally pretty amazing, I dunno." Eyes snapped back to me in a panic. "No! No, I mean, you're definitely amazing and cute and all that. I've always thought so, even back in school, but there was my mom, and all the shit she used to tell me... but like, you were my first actual crush, if I'm honest, and then I treated you so bad and  - "

I raised my hand to stop the madman's monologue. "Dude. Stop. Whatever... this" I rolled my hand around in his general direction, "is, it needs to stop." Clark's mouth snapped shut, and he looked about ready to cry. He started to squeak out an apology, but I cut that off, too. "Nope. You've said sorry already. Leave it at that and move on."

Clark scrubbed at his eyes and sniffled loudly. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry  -  no, right. Not sorry. But I never dared hope I'd see you again, and when I heard you were back in town, I thought, hey, what if I get the chance to tell him, but I kept telling myself that would never happen. But suddenly, here you were, and..." He let out a sigh, and seemed to deflate. "I'm gonna go. See you at the register when you're ready." Still sniffling, he turned and began shuffling off towards the front of the store.

A realization slammed into me like a physical blow; I was watching Clark Graham break open the same walls I'd seen in Knox. Walls built from identical combinations of small-town expectations and childhood shame. I wonder how many of my tormentors had been fighting their own battles, how many had turned their self-hatred outward and made me carry the weight of their shame and fear?

And Knox... God, Knox. All those lingering touches in high school, the way he'd hold me a little too long, every tender moment we'd shared over the years, that warm, comforting closeness... His kiss last night hadn't come from nowhere, had it? It had been building for years, then left to simmer for a decade, held back by the same forces that had twisted him and Clark into my tormentors. And those same forces had Knox running scared this morning, weren't they?

Groaning inwardly, I called after him. "Clark, wait!" The far too hopeful expression on his face nearly killed me. Gotta crush that right quick. "Okay, I get it. And thank you for trusting me with this. But you and me? Never gonna happen." His expression clouded, and he straight-up wilted like a flower that never got enough sun. Okay, so maybe I felt a little bad about it, too. He may have been a bully, but he'd trusted me with something pretty massive, and his heart to boot. "It's not just that you were awful to me. I, uh, already have someone I'm interested in, anyway... well, let's say it's, well, it's complicated?"

Clark straightened his back, his earlier glare returning. "It's Knox, isn't it?"

I froze, but against my better judgement, I nodded slowly. The panther sighed. "Man, I can't tell what you see in him. And he's straight, too! He's never going to return your feelings, and he's the reason anyone started picking on you in the first place."

"I'm aware" I said automatically. "I've been down this road before, clear back when I asked him to homecoming  - "

Clark's eyes went wide. "Wait, shit, you asked him to homecoming? And he said no?! You two were practically joined at the hip  -  wait, is that how he found out? Like, that you were gay?"

"What?" I didn't see why it mattered at this point. "I mean, yeah? Wait, how did everyone think he found out?"

"Nobody ever said. The only thing I remember was my mom getting that phone call and overhearing it. Damn, you, the hottest guy in school, asked your best friend to go to homecoming with you, and he outed you instead? Fuck." Clark shook his head slowly. "That's awful, man."

I was hot? No, that didn't matter. I shook my head to clear it. "It was," I said blandly. "I really don't need to relive it."

"Of course." Clark rolled his neck and shoulders, rubbing some more of the tension out with his paws as he did so. "Yeah, no." Then he let out a short, barking laugh. "Knox Madison, huh? Not gonna lie, I can see the appeal. Mavis' perfect golden boy, and he's..." the panther screwed up his face, like his next words were bitter as hell on his tongue, "he's good looking, I guess. And he owns his own business. I guess I have one thing over him, though."

"What's that?"

He smirked at me. "I'm actually gay."

"That would be a point in your favor, yes," I admitted. "But look, I'm here for tuna and egg noodles. Swear to God, that's all I wanted. Can you point me in the right direction?"

"Yeah, those condoms wouldn't fit Knox anyway. Trust me, I've shared a locker room with the guy." Now Clark was leering at me as I choked and spluttered. He chuckled and walked up to thump me on the back a few times. "So, tuna noodle hot dish, right? Let's get you fixed up."

As I checked out, Clark tried one more time to make a pass at me. When he was bagging up my groceries, he looked me in the eye and said, "So, you're sure that there's no chance of... you and me? I can't even try? Suzy's is pretty good, still. If you're not dead set on casserole, I'd like to take you to dinner tonight. Even if only as friends, so I can say sorry one more time."

I sat with that for a moment. Sure, Knox was my high school crush, and yeah, he'd kissed the hell out of me last night. But he had a lot of shit to figure out, and I was only here for a month. If he didn't figure it out...

I aimed a wry half-smile at Clark and said, "Not tonight. Could be never. I'm not too sure. But... I'm not opposed to you trying, I guess." Knox was my all-time crush, but Clark seemed to have himself a little more... figured out. I didn't know if Knox would ever want me the way about I wanted him, and it really wasn't fair to either of us to wait around forever on a maybe. If I was willing to give Knox a chance at redemption, Clark deserved the same chance. And at least he knew what he wanted. It didn't hurt that what he wanted was scrawny, nerdy little me.

After a bizarre, sometimes awkward as hell shopping trip, I was home and putting away my food. Then, I set up my laptop at the desk in my room and started checking my work e-mails. Unsurprisingly, my boss had frozen my inbox, with the last e-mail from her reading simply, "Stop checking your work e-mail while you're on vacation! We'll call you if something comes up."

So, I settled in for some streaming movies. I had a few hours to kill until four, anyhow. But, I said to myself, Knox probably wouldn't mind if I texted him?

Yeah. I'll send him a quick text. Just to see how he's doing...

 
-
Knox
 -

When I left Nick's house, I was wrapped in a daze. There were too many thoughts, too many feelings crowding into my tiny brain. I knew I needed to clear my mind, so I checked the time  -  Twelve past nine A.M., perfect. One quick stop by the liquor store for a six-pack of the cheapest beer they had, and I'd fucked off to the lake.

Carter Lake was the closest thing we had to scenery around these parts, but boy howdy, was it some beautiful scenery. Forty-ish miles from the heart of Mavis and tucked away in the woods, it made for a great spot to go fishing, swimming, or kick back and relax while watching the sun glint off the crystal clear water. It was always cold, too, being fed from an underground spring; the only downside being that the last fifteen miles of the road there was bumpy dirt, so you couldn't drive too fast on it.

While I was on the drive, my mind wandered back to that kiss I'd shared with Nick last night. I tried to get it out of my head, push it aside... and failed miserably. There was a rush that was unlike anything I'd ever known, something like fizzy soda bubbles in my veins. Why is this taking up so much room in my head? I wondered. It was a mistake. He knows it, and so do I. That's why he's letting us forget the whole thing.

But...

But I don't think I want to forget it...


I flashed back to the relationship we'd had as teenagers, before I'd outed him, before I became the villain in his story. I remembered how close we were, how we used to bump up against each other while we walked together, how we'd sit close enough that we felt each other's body heat, how he'd watch me with those big gray eyes and that millionaire smile, like I was the most important thing in the world.

Towards the end of my marriage, I'd wanted that closeness again with someone, anyone. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized things had never been as good with anyone I'd been with as they had been with Nick, not even when Katie and I got hitched. I'd legit mourned the fact that the healthiest relationship I'd ever had was with a guy who I hurt so badly. The first thing he did when he grew up was get out of town and as far away from me as he could. Eventually, I convinced myself that I'd never have that kind of thing again, that I'd thrown away something precious and special, and I put Nick out of my mind entirely.

But against all odds, Nick actually came back.

Instantly there was a tug on my heart, urging me to make amends, to bring back something I believed to be lost forever. And he'd been prickly at first, but damn it if he didn't come around right quick. He'd even let me into his house, his sanctuary, and he'd shared cookies with me and we'd simply... spent an evening together, like old times.

Fuck. Then I'd kissed him. Damn it all, I remembered that I'd been drinking, but really, the more I thought about it, it became less like doing something against my nature, and a lot more like something I'd craved forever, but wouldn't have had the courage to sober. I'd never forgive myself if this fucked it all up between us... but I couldn't muster a single ounce of regret.

In that moment, I'd wanted to kiss Nick. Couldn't have resisted if I'd tried.

Damn, is that what Katie meant when she said she was tired of competing against someone who wasn't even around anymore? She meant... Nick? What the hell did she see that I still don't?

Sighing, I pulled into the parking area, cutting off the truck before jumping down from the cab. Trash cans dotted the perimeter of the lake, and us townsfolk kept the place well looked after. It wasn't close enough to any big cities for tourists, really, so it had always been kind of like our town's best kept secret. There weren't many people out yet, just a few campers out in their RVs. I recognized one RV in particular, though; Nick's parent's camper sat out by the far side of the lake. "Well, I'll steer clear of that little minefield," I muttered.

No way was I ready to deal with Richard and Connie. Nick's dad had been upset with me, but Connie had been furious. After I inherited B.W. Auto Body from Mr. Wyrdmott a few years back, they'd conspicuously stopped taking their cars there to be worked on, and so had all of their friends. And the worst part? I couldn't really blame them. One more sin to be guilty about, I guess.

I blew out a snort of air through my nose and turned to head over to the dock. It'd be a few hours before the after-church crowd came in, so I kicked off my shoes, sat my happy ass down on the weathered wood, and cracked open a beer. A gorgeous summer breeze blew through the trees today, and I enjoyed the way it rustled through the leaves and combed its gentle fingers through my fur. I took a long pull from the still-cold can, letting the bitter flavor flood my senses. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, drinking when I was still reeling from the effects of my hangover.

But then again, nobody'd ever accused me of being smart.

I'd mostly finished the second can when my phone pinged, telling me I had a text. I had a little bit of a buzz going. Not too much, but definitely a bit on the southerly side of sober. It took me a moment before I lazily picked up the device with my free hand and checked who it was from.

You have 2 new messages from UNKNOWN NUMBER.

"Tch. Stupid spam texts." I wagged my head and set my phone down again. Killing what was left of my beer, I cracked the top of number three and took a deep pull of the bitter, hoppy brew. I swiped the back of my wrist through the foam left on the top of my lip and belched, grimacing at the sour flavor of bile in my mouth. Huff, that stuff isn't so great the second time around. My legs kicked over the edge of the dock, skimming the top of the cool water below. God, I loved this place. I knew I'd made the right decision coming out here to clear my head. I had a nice little buzz going, and all those feelings of  -  what had Nick called it?  -  weirdness, seemed to drift farther and farther away.

Try as I might, though, I couldn't completely get rid of that annoying little voice in the back of my head saying, "You should really see who texted you." So, I groaned, unlocked the screen and opened the text chain.

Unknown Number: 'Hey! Sorry if I'm bothering you. I wanted to see how you were doing after, well, this morning.'

Unknown Number: 'Oh, this is Nick btw.'

Nick! I fumbled with the phone, cursing as I barely caught it before it fell in the water. I set down my mostly empty beer and laid down with my back on the dock, grinning like some kind of idiot.

He'd texted me. He actually texted me! A warm glow started in my gut, spreading throughout my chest as my head suddenly went all fuzzy and light. Shit, am I really that much of a lightweight? I was a real big, fat dude, and that was supposed to have advantages. I guess  -

Unknown Number: 'Hey, you're making me nervous here. Don't leave a guy on read.'

"Oops," I said to nobody in particular. I'd been so busy basking in the attention that I forgot to have a conversation for a couple of minutes. With a few taps, I saved Nick's number before replying.

Me: 'Sorry, man. Didn't mean to do that. I'm good. I waited a moment before adding: I'm glad you texted.'

The reply couldn't come fast enough, and I glued my eyes to those three little dots that told me he was typing.

Nick: 'Sure, no problem. Everything all right at the shop?'

Shop? What is he  -  oh, right. Damn. I shouldn't have lied. What to do, what to do...

Me: 'Yeah, it's cool. The guys had it under control, so I drove to the lake.'

Nick: 'Oh, nice! How is it down there?'

Me: 'Pretty chill tbh. I'm at the dock, drinking some gross beers. It's quiet, too, I guess, which is good.'

Nick: 'Quiet can be good, but you shouldn't be drinking so soon. Knock it off. If you get sick again, who's going be there to strip you down and get you clean? Won't be me. ;)'

Is he... no. No way. If I'd thought I was lightheaded before, it was nothing compared to now. Absently, I used my free hand to grab what remained of my beer and pour it out. Was Nick flirting with me?! That was impossible; we were mountains apart from each other. But my face heated anyway as another impossible scene played on repeat in my head.

Nick running his soft paws up my shirt, his touch drifting over my soft belly and too-hot body before tugging it off completely. Nick pulling his own shirt off and pushing me back onto the couch, chest to chest, fur on fur, and his mouth inching closer and closer. If I close my eyes, I swear I can taste his lips as they press against mine  -

*PLAP*

I jolted, startled out of whatever obviously alcohol-induced haze of insanity I'd fallen into when my phone slipped from my hands and bonked me square between the eyes. The fuck is with all these weird-ass thoughts? Grumbling, I sat up, rubbing the bridge of my nose as I scrolled back to the messages. I checked the time and realized I'd been daydreaming for almost ten minutes.

Nick: 'Knox, you there? Everything okay?'

No, I said to myself. My head was seven different kinds of messed up, and my heart was thumping so fast that I got a little queasy. No, I'm definitely not okay.

Me: 'Yeah, sorry. I dropped my phone.'

Nick: 'Oh, okay.'

Long minutes stretched by, and my body wound up tight as a spring, so tight that I could burst at any moment. I don't know what possessed me, but I swear I had an out-of-body experience, on the outside looking in as someone else typed out another text message.

Me: 'You wanna get dinner tonight? The diner's still good. Suzy changed cooks a couple years ago, but you'd never tell.'

Nick: 'Oh, funny, Clark mentioned the diner too. You remember Clark Graham? Works at the grocery store now? He actually asked me out to dinner with him there tonight. Turned into a weird guy, but he was sweet, too. And kind of funny!'

Immediately, the bottom dropped out of my stomach, and I struggled to figure out why. My body ran uncomfortably hot, my jaw tightened as I tingled all over, and I swallowed hard against the sudden wave of sickening, twisting emotion that flooded through me. Hastily, I typed a reply.

Me: 'Yeah, I remember him. I guess he's changed a lot, huh?'

I had to fight down the urge to crack open another beer. The idea of Nick having dinner with Clark bothered me more than I knew how to put into words. He was nothing but an old friend, or at least, we were friendly enough. I said hi to him at the grocery store all the time. Yeah, just a friend  -  one who, apparently, had grown up and turned sweet, according to Nick.

I wasn't jealous. Was I? No, that'd be ridiculous. Nick and I were barely starting to be friends again, and even if everything between us magically resolved tonight, he was still allowed to have other... friends. But even the vaguest idea of someone else making Nick laugh the way I used to... well, that burned me more than I cared to admit.

Nick: 'Sorry, was putting away some groceries. No, I told him maybe some other time. I honestly wasn't sure about it, though. He really seemed, I dunno, different.'

A cool wave of relief washed over me like I'd plunged into the middle of the lake. Nick's next message made me bristle, though.

Nick: 'I don't think dinner with you would be a good idea. Not after everything last night. It brought up a lot of old feelings for me, and I don't want to get things mixed up again.'

An intense wave of panic settled into my gut. Shit. Damage control, damage control!

Me: 'It's only dinner.' My thumbs hovered over the screen, unable to send the message. Was that really the best I could come up with? I deleted it, tried a few other things, but nothing I said seemed to fit. Finally, I settled on, 'It's just dinner with a friend, Nick. I want things to go back to normal between us.'

Another few minutes passed where I chewed on a claw and watched the three little dots appear, disappear, reappear, like some demented version of peek-a-boo. Finally, his message came in, and the fizzy bubbly sensation was back, slamming its way through my veins.

Nick: 'Fine. But the moment any more weirdness happens, I'm done. Pick me up at six.'

"He said yes!" I crowed, sitting up and pumping my fist before texting back the confirmation and startling the birds from a nearby tree. One cranky old camper poked his head out of his RV a few yards away and glared at me, but I didn't care. I was floating, my body lighter and freer than it had been in years, and a triumphant grin spread itself across my face. Then I snapped back to reality as my logical side started kicking in. It's nothing but dinner. Dinner with a friend. You're acting ridiculous. There's no need to get all worked up over nothing; it's not like this is a date or  -

A chill ran down my spine so cold that I literally shivered as the picture of me taking the Nick Southwell on a date popped into my brain.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

What do I do with that?!

Well, first, I was going to have to sober up, get my happy ass home, and do some laundry. I needed something to wear.

-
Nick
 -


At around a quarter to six, I was still standing in my bathroom, fussing with my hair. The short haircut I usually kept had grown out for a couple months. In fact, it was long enough that I had to put product in it to keep it out of my eyes. I kept fighting with this one lock of hair, trying to get it to stay up; despite all my efforts, it still kept falling down over my forehead. Why am I trying so hard? I wondered. It's just friends having dinner. You even told him no funny business.

I knew I didn't have to put on cologne, or dress in my nicest button-down, or pull out my fancy dress shoes that I normally saved for court appearances. But damn it all if I hadn't done it, anyway. I looked down at my phone. Ten minutes. It wasn't enough time, and somehow an eternity, all at once. Growling, I left my hair looking slightly tousled, and went outside to take in the warm summer evening and sit in one of the chairs on the front porch.

In no time, my leg was bouncing up and down in a rapid tempo. I caught myself chewing on a claw when I accidentally bit my finger, and there was nothing for it but to sit on my hands. That only worked for a few minutes, because I had to free one of them to check the time on my phone.

Eight minutes.

Fuck. Time was moving so damn slowly. I could've sworn I'd been outside for almost half an hour. Was this some kind of Dr. Who situation? Timey-wimey bullshit? I was bouncing so hard that I dropped my phone, wincing as it clattered against the concrete porch. But when I snatched it up, I let out a sigh of relief that I'd sprung for the expensive case, because there wasn't a crack on it. I needed something to do, so I got on social media and scrolled around, reading status updates from my co-workers back home. Once I'd caught up, I checked the time again.

Three minutes.

"Oh, come on!" I shouted. There was definitely something wrong with the time. Was my clock broken or something? No, let's be logical. The internet sets my phone clock. Shit, is the internet broken?! So much for logical, I guess. Why was I getting so worked up, anyway? I'd been over this earlier today with Clark. Dating wasn't something Knox was interested in. He only wanted friends, and a little schoolboy crush wouldn't change anything. He wasn't interested then, and he's not interested now. This isn't a date, I reminded myself. It's not, it's not  -

My traitorous heart lurched as I saw headlights coming up the wooded drive, and a rusted-out white pickup rumbled closer and closer to the house. Suddenly, I was sixteen again, watching a slightly more rusted old pickup rattle and rumble its way up my drive, with Knox behind the wheel, and a long summer night stretched out before us. I breathed in the lavender my mom used to keep in the planters out on the porch, reveled in the heat of the sun-warmed brick behind me, tasted the sweet tea I always used to keep in the fridge on my tongue  -  it was his favorite, back then. We were best friends. He was my only friend  -  I'd been a loner my whole life until he came along. Then he'd gone and promised me forever, even if he only meant friends, and I... I let his first and only mistake destroy everything I'd worked so hard to build. Fuck, was it supposed to hurt this bad? For the first time, I wondered what he even saw in me, that he wanted to try again when I'd been so openly hostile at first.

Then, in an instant, I snapped back to the present when I thought I saw something fly out the driver's side window. It really was hard to see from that angle, and the treeline mostly blocked my view anyway, so I assumed my mind was playing tricks on me and let it slip from my mind. Knox took forever to pull up to the garage, where he cut the engine, hopped out of the cab, and...

Oh, damn it all anyway.

Knox wore a tight flannel shirt with the sleeves ripped off, baring his brawny striped arms to the open air, and the bottom of his soft, rounded belly peeking out from under the hem. A pair of grease-stained denim jeans that were definitely torn from hard use, and not for the sake of fashion, hugged his trunk-like thighs and meaty calves, looking almost painted on. And his work boots, scuffed and covered in more grease stains, were loose and untied on his feet. It was one hundred percent giving blue collar, and I was practically drooling over the careless way he'd dressed and the amount of exposed fur.

We stood there for a couple of minutes, and I realized two things. First: I'd been staring hard enough that it was a shock the man hadn't burst into flame. Second: He was staring back.

I broke the silence first. My voice came out high and strangled, cracking like I was going through puberty again. "Y-you, um, you look good."

"Yeah?" Knox whispered, looking dazed as he shook his head. He coughed once to clear his throat, looking away as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah, thanks. You clean up all right, you know. Aren't you a little overdressed for Suzy's, though?"

"Oh, yeah?" I looked down at my outfit. God, he's right. I'd worked myself up over nothing. Turning to the door, I put my hand on the knob and said, "Mmm, you've got a point. I can go change really quick and  - "

"What? No!" He shouted his dissent so loud a few startled birds flew from their trees. I flinched, and when I turned back to face the tiger, he'd clapped his paws over the front of his mouth. When I quirked an eyebrow at him, he turned his eyes away from me. "I-I mean, we'll be late if we don't go now. You're... fine. You look fine. And I don't want them to close or something."

"Sure..." I said, drawing out the sound. Why's he acting so strange? "Everything okay, Knox? You said no weirdness, and you seem kinda, I dunno, weird? Do we need to do this another time?"

Knox gave a thready chuckle. "Nope! No, yeah, I'm fine. All good. No weirdness from me, like you said." He took a couple deep breaths, and his golden boy smile he used to have back when we'd been in high school bloomed on his face. "C'mon. Let's get going. I'm starved."

"Okay, sure." I knew better than to buy that. Something about that particular smile never quite reached his eyes. I wanted to get to the bottom of it, but he was already jogging around to my side of the truck. I assume he'd meant to open it for me, but when he pulled the handle, the door stayed firmly shut. Slowly, I started walking over as he gave a manic giggle, fished his keys out of his pocket, and promptly dropped them.

"Fuck," he muttered, and Knox flapped his hands about  -  wait, was he shaking? He swiped at the keys in the dirt like some sort of redneck claw machine, with about as much success, finally picking them up on the third pass. Unlocking the door, he held it open for me with a triumphant smile, and I busted out laughing, which caused Knox to cackle like a madman. We stood there for a moment just staring at each other, grins on our faces.

I didn't want to keep him waiting like a doof, so I hurriedly clambered in, letting him shut the door behind me as I buckled my seatbelt. Briefly, I wondered what kind of deodorant he'd put on. Or was it cologne? I snorted a laugh out through my nose. Nah, no way was he wearing cologne to take me to Suzy's diner. Especially not the man who thought a button-down and slacks were `overdressed'. But whatever it was, I didn't really care. He fuckin' smelled good.

It took about twenty minutes to get into town and over to Suzy's. Twenty minutes that we spent in complete silence. Honestly? It was a big shift in the mood, and it was awkward as hell. Occasionally, Knox would take a breath like he was about to say something, but then... nothing. Once or twice, I caught him resting his paw on the middle of the bench seat next to me, inching it towards me before he'd freeze up and snatch it away. Weird shit, and I almost said something, but it turns out I was too chicken-shit to call him out on it.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I stepped out of his truck, feet crunching on the gravel parking lot in front of the diner. For some reason, Knox hustled to the restaurant door and opened it for me again. With a wary chuckle, I looked up at him and said, "Careful, now. I might decide you're secretly nice."

Knox let out a startled bark of laughter, smiling crookedly down at me. "Heaven forbid. I do have a reputation to maintain."

Suzy, the eponymous owner of the diner, was still working in the hostess position. It would've surprised me  -  she was old even when I was a kid  -  but the wiry rat with gray fur and delicate golden spectacles had sworn she'd never retire, and she seemed determined to make good on that promise. Suzy arched an eyebrow at me, and her eyes never left mine even as she turned her head towards Knox. "It's gonna be you and Mr. Fancy-Pants, yeah?"

Knox nodded, I blushed, and she showed us to a booth in the back. She handed us a pair of ancient laminated menus that looked to be the same ones as before I'd left, and tottered off to greet new guests and take payments at the register. I picked up my menu, giving it a perfunctory glance. If it was the same menu, I'd had it memorized for years now, and I knew what I'd be getting. Knox didn't even bother to pick up his  -  he did, however, stare at me over the top of mine.

I squirmed under the intensity of his gaze. "Uh, what's up? Do I have something on my face?"

Knox coughed and hastily looked away. "N-no! Just, your face looks... I mean, you ..." His eyes flicked back to me a handful of times, darting between me and an indeterminate spot on the floor. "You look, um... normal."

"Wha- normal? Really? Okay..." I shook my head and puffed out a frustrated breath through my nose. "Whatever. It's whatever. You decide on what you're going to get?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, same thing as always. You?"

"I'll get my usual, too. Dunno why I bothered looking at the menu, really." I placed the laminated sheet down on the table, briefly wondering if my 'usual' order was usual to them anymore after I'd been gone ten years. Still, the scene was familiarly comfortable; Me sitting with Knox, simply hanging out at the diner. I could almost imagine that no time had passed at all. Almost.

A young feline server  -  she had to still be in high school  -  wearing Suzy's signature red-and-white checkered apron, flounced over to our table and took our orders; The chicken fried steak platter for Knox, and a double patty melt with fries for me. She took our menus with her when she bustled off to put our orders in, and suddenly I had nothing to buffer the space between me and my strangely intense dinner companion. Knox's focus was on a space somewhere over my shoulder, but I caught his eyes flicking over to me every now and again. The gears in his mind were spinning hard as he processed... something, though it was hard to tell what. His whiskers would twitch every time he wrenched his gaze away from me, almost like something was tickling his nose.

Finally, I let out a gusty sigh and leaned back against the soft back of the booth. "Okay, you said there wouldn't be any weirdness, but I gotta say, you're acting really weird. You sure you're ready for this?"

Knox started forward, blinking rapidly before vehemently shaking his head. "N-no! Er, I mean, yes? Sorry, it's, uh..." The brawny tiger swallowed hard, licking his lips before smoothing a paw through his short black hair. "I'm a little out of it. I'll try to do better." He leaned forward slightly, blinking again, and taking a steadying breath before finally meeting my gaze.

 I'd wanted to reply, to reassure him out of that old, old habit. But for the life of me, I couldn't tell you what I'd been about to say, because his mossy hazel eyes suddenly locked onto mine, and wow, what a smile. I let my mind run on autopilot, letting out a nervous giggle and saying, "You know, sitting here with you, it's almost like we're back in high school. You really haven't changed much, have you?" And he hadn't, not really. Knox might have been broader now, his frame definitely heavier, but his crooked smile  -  his actual smile, not that fake golden boy shit  -  oozed the simple confidence that had always left me breathless.

I lost myself in that dopey grin of his, and it was impossibly hard to stop the fantasy of how it would be cuddled up against him, pressed against his body all night long. Then, my stomach clenched like it got caught in an iron vise. No, I told myself. You can't fall into these old habits again! This isn't high school; remember why you're on guard in the first place.

"I swear, you're always going to see the old me, aren't you? I really have changed. Probably more than you think." Knox replied with a shake of his head.  

I swallowed and rolled my shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension that was building there. I laughed weakly, rubbing a paw against the back of my head. "No, you're right. You've, uh, definitely changed, at least a little."

Knox gave me another fake-ass golden boy smile again as he tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? How so?"

-
Knox
 -


"Oh yeah? How so?" I flashed my most convincing smile at Nick. It surprised me how quickly I'd fallen back into the 'calm and collected golden boy' persona I'd worn most of my life. Everyone had seen me as this Teflon-coated wonder kid who did no wrong and always had his shit under control, and I'd worked damn hard to conform to those expectations. Used to be that I joked to myself that if the mechanic thing didn't work out, I'd go into acting with how I fooled everyone into believing I was someone I wasn't. I didn't enjoy doing it anymore; I had fought with myself in the few years since my divorce to become my most authentic self. But tonight, sitting across from the kid  -  no, the man  -  that I had hurt all those years ago, and again just last night, my nerves got the better of me, and I had to admit, the mask fit real nice and comfy right about now.

My insides had gotten all twisty and jumbled up again. He'd caught me staring at him not once, but twice, and for the life of me, I still didn't know why I'd been staring. Nick was a puzzle I was trying, and failing, to figure out how to solve. I had to be missing some crucial pieces. He gently shook his head, and his ears flopped around, the silver cuff he wore glinting in the bright light of the diner, and it took all my willpower not to reach out and tussle his ears with my paw.

"Well," Nick began, "You're a lot more chill, to start. Recent... weirdness notwithstanding." His pink tongue darted out to wet his lips, and the sheen it left behind made me want to run the pad of my thumb over the place he'd marked. What the hell's with me these last two days? Nick looked away, and I almost fell over sideways when he murmured, "And you're fine as hell. Seriously, what business did you have getting even hotter?"

No way he thought I'd be able to hear that. No way. He'd whispered so softly that I was certain he'd meant for the sounds of the other diners to drown him out. It's not like it even mattered; ever since that one day ten years ago, his feelings for me had been as one-sided as they came. I'd never reciprocate those feelings, couldn't if I tried. I'm trying to rekindle a friendship, not start a summer fling.

So why is your heart beating so fast, Knox?

"Chill, huh?" I smiled, and this time I knew it was more genuine than before. "I can respect that."

Nick smiled and nodded, the corners of his eyes crinkling up as he did so. "Well, and you're a small business owner. That's honestly an enormous surprise to me. What happened to your football scholarship? Your plans?"

I grimaced. "Mom got sick right after you left, and she needed help. So, I changed my degree to a two-year Associate of Applied Science, got my ASE Master Mechanic certification, and started working under old man Wyrdmott. Turned out he'd been looking for someone local to leave the business to, and for whatever reason, he decided on me." I leaned an elbow against the corner of the booth and leaned my head against it. "Tried the whole settling down thing, too. It wasn't so bad, at first. Married Katie  -  Katie Farnsworth, the head cheerleader  -  and we tried for a kid. When she got pregnant, I'd never been so scared and excited at the same time, but a few months in she told me she'd been seeing some guy a couple towns over and the kid was his. She divorced me, took my car, left me the mortgage, and that was that. And at that point, even if I'd wanted to go back to school, they wouldn't have wanted me to play football, and I'd gotten fat to boot. So, I built a home gym at my place, and started spending all my free time pumping iron to get the frustration out. I honestly always meant to get out of Mavis, same as you, but..."

I realized I'd been rambling and searched Nick's face for any sign that I'd lost him. To my surprise, he'd leaned into my conversation, hanging on my every word, and that realization made the corner of my mouth twitch up into a soft grin. "Well, leaving kinda didn't work out. Small town life ain't so bad, though. I've learned that there's a few different definitions of success."

Nick nodded sagely before he shocked me by reaching out and patting the free paw that I had rested on the table. Literally  -  we both jumped at the shock of static electricity that zapped through us before we locked eyes and laughed so hard I almost cried. My canine friend wiped a tear away from his own eye when he calmed down enough to speak. "Yeah, you're right, things don't always go according to plan. But..." Nick's face grew serious, and perhaps a little bit sad? "Tell me... are you happy with how things turned out, Knox? Honestly, truly happy?"

I froze. I'd never really considered it. Happy? Yeah, things had been going all right, I guess. So what if none of my plans had worked out? I should be content with my lot in life. Right?

So why is it like there's a hole in my heart where something huge has been missing? And if I think about it, why has it been that way for... ten years?

Oh, God. Oh, no. No, no, no.


"I-I..." Panic settled into my gut as I floundered about for the right words. Suzy's diner was not the place to have these kinds of discussions. "I, uh, honestly... I don't think I'm  - "

The perky feline server swung through with a tray full of food and sides. "All righty, boys, here's your dinner! I'll refill your drinks while I'm here, but y'all go ahead and enjoy."

"Thanks... Vanessa!" Saved by the dinner bell. Nick had spared a glance at her nametag before giving her that effortless megawatt smile he'd never quite realized he possessed. Damn, it had always looked good on that boy; I wished he'd show it to me again. Just one more time, that massive smile that made you feel you were the most important thing in the universe. Vanessa looked properly stunned for a beat before letting out a shy giggle and flouncing away. Nick, oblivious to his effect on the poor girl, turned to me and handed me one of the silverware rolls on the table. "You were saying?"

"Aw, shucks, it was nothin' important." Before he called me out on my bald-faced lie, I unwrapped my silverware and started sawing off a piece of the fried steak that was smothered in peppery white gravy. I dipped it in the pile of fluffy mashed potatoes, stuffed the bite into my mouth, and nearly choked because I'd cut it too big. Fortunately, Vanessa chose that moment to return with our refills, and I took a deep swig of the sweet tea I'd ordered. Shakily, I said, "You should eat before it gets cold."

"Right." Nick quirked an eyebrow at me, but picked up a triangle of his patty melt and bit into it. Watching his eyes roll back in pleasure might have been a sin, but the low moan he let out definitely was. "Oh, fuck me, I've missed this. Jus' perfect"

A dribble of gravy fell from the next bite I'd taken fell from where I'd frozen on my way to my mouth onto my flannel. I'd never found food sexy, but watching him reverently enjoying his sandwich absolutely made me question a few things. When I realized I'd made a mess, I cursed under my breath, setting down my fork and blotting at the offending sauce with a wad of paper napkins. "Damn. At least it's not one of those stupid expensive polo shirts Clarissa bought for me."

"Clarissa? Who's... oh! You mean Mrs. Wyrdmott." Nick took a moment to put it together, but when he did, another smile lit up his face like Christmas. He took another bite of his sandwich, and my fingers twitched as I resisted the urge to wipe away a gob of special sauce from the corner of his mouth. "Wait, did she pick out the clothes you wore last night?"

I let my head droop, then nodded. I set aside the used napkins before taking a more careful, controlled bite of my meal. "Yesh" I said around a mouthful of potatoes. "She insisted that I have a better wardrobe in case I met the right person and wanted to take them out on a date." I didn't mention that I had intentionally not worn one of them tonight because I didn't want Nick to assume that this was a date. It's not like I was trying to...

Okay, yeah, I'll admit to trying to impress him. I knew I should've worn the damn polo.

"You looked fantastic last night. Although, I'll admit, I very much prefer seeing you in what you're wearing tonight. It's more... you." Nick's eyes roamed over my body, taking me in for a long breath before he coughed and busied himself with taking a deep drink of his diet soda.

Hmm. The beginnings of a nefarious plan raced through my head. I wonder... I set down my fork and knife, pretending to yawn as I slowly stretched my whole torso and raised my arms up in the air. I grabbed my elbow and stretched out my triceps on either side. My eyes squinted closed as the stretch turned into a slight burn, but I peeked out from the corner of my eye to see if I'd gotten a reaction from Nick.

And oh boy, did I.

Nick was straight-up ogling me, not even a shred of decency left as he practically drooled at my antics. His jaw hung slightly open, his mouth making an `O' shape as I heard his tail thump against the seat of the booth. I finished my stretch, rolling my neck with a satisfying pop! as I wiggled into my seat. Smugly, I turned to him. "Enjoy the show, Nicky?"

His mouth snapped shut, and he glared at me. "I haven't been Nicky since ninth grade. And wait, did you do that on purpose?!" His voice rose to a near shout.

"Hush. People are trying to enjoy their dinner." I gave him a smirk as I took another bite of dinner.

"Why?"

"Why not? Could be I enjoy showing off." Could be that I enjoy showing off for you, specifically. And maybe, just maybe, it gives me that funny feeling in my stomach that tells me you like me, too.

Nick grumbled, finishing the last bite of his sandwich. "Well, Mr. Showoff, you still have half a steak to finish. Guess you should've spent more time eating and less time teasing me."

I shrugged. "Eh, it'll keep. Suzy's never skimped on her portions; I'll take the rest home." I flagged down Vanessa, asking for the check and a box. When she asked us if we'd like a slice of pie, Nick shook his head, but I nodded. "One slice of the cherry pie, please, but put it in a box?"

She nodded and hustled off. Nick gave me a questioning glance. "They had blueberry. Isn't that your favorite?"

I gave Nick a pat on the head. "It's not for me. Every time we  -  er, you, come here, you always wolf your food, then say you wish you'd saved room for pie. So, I'm getting you some for later. And your favorite is cherry."

The canine's eyes widened, and a shy smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Of all the expressions he'd offered me tonight, this one had to be far and away my favorite; slightly bashful, surprised, and finally, all for me. "I didn't think you'd remember."

"Of course I remembered. Though I wouldn't have been so sure if you'd ordered literally anything else for dinner tonight," I admitted.

Vanessa returned with an empty box for my leftovers and a small, clear plastic container with a slice of freshly baked cherry pie inside. I paid, and soon we were in the truck again as I drove him back to his parent's place. We chatted on the way this time, about nothing in particular; sports, the weather, cars... whatever random topics that popped into our heads.

My headlights turned onto the winding, unlit drive that lead to Nick's parent's place, and I tooled along it, intentionally taking each turn as slowly as possible to extend the precious little time I had with him. Nick punched me in the arm as I took the second-to-last turn. "You're driving like my Grandma, man! I remember you taking this at 40 when we were younger  -  wait, what's that? Stop the truck."

"What?" I pumped the brakes, looking in the direction where Nick pointed. Something shiny reflected the light from my headlights, laying on the left side of the drive. Oh, no... shit! Shit, shit, shit! A nervous sweat broke out all over my body, causing me to shiver. "Uh, it's... it's probably some trash that blew in. Bet it's nothing to worry about, I can pick it up on my way back out  - "

"And what, take it home with you? We're almost to my house, dude, come on. I'll go grab it real quick, it'll only take a second."

"No, wait!" I cried out, but Nick had already gotten up and out of the cab, trotting over to my secret shame. I fumbled to get my seatbelt off, almost falling out of the truck instead of jumping out. Hastening over to where Nick was standing, I babbled, "It's n-not what it looks like! I mean, I have no idea where those came from, that's so random! Ahaha... Nick? Nick, you there?" I bent my head, frantically trying to glean some reaction from the canine, but his face had gone entirely blank and unreadable. My voice came out small and desperate, pleading. "Nick, speak to me? Please?"

Nick bent down, his fingertips brushing the evening dew beaded on the grass as he scooped up the bouquet of red long-stem roses. He turned to me, his movements jerky and stiff, and the blank-faced expression he gave me sent my heart plummeting into my stomach. "Knox, what is this?"

Damn it, why did I even buy the stupid flowers?! Why couldn't I have just played it cool? I think I've ruined everything, haven't I? Nick's face was still unreadable as the moments stretched out between us, and every second that passed was like a knife twisting deeper and deeper in my gut. Was he mad at me, or was he hurt? Oh, God, what if this is finally what drives him off, and he never speaks to me again?

"N-no idea! I have absolutely no clue where those came from! Heh, nope..." I stammered out. When I reached to snatch them out of his hand, he curled his arms around the bouquet and clasped it to his chest. "Come on, anyone might've left those there! It couldn't have been me, right? Tonight wasn't, like, a date or anything."

"No?" Nick's gray eyes narrowed as he searched me up and down, searching for something I wasn't quite able to identify. "So, I didn't see you chuck something out your window when you came to pick me up earlier? Some random person left flowers on the drive up to my house?"

"Uh..." I shrank in on myself, my thoughts racing. Crap, how had he seen me ditch the flowers?! Stupid, stupid, stupid! "I mean, it's not like I..." My paws started trembling, and to still them, I buried my face in my hands as I vomited words out in a rapid-fire stream. "Fuck, Nick, I... I don't know. You said no weirdness. But I got excited  -  too excited. And before I knew it, I was buying you flowers, and I just... God, I know it's not a date, but I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I wanted to, I dunno... to...  - "

-
Nick
 -


I stood frozen, clutching a now significantly rumpled bouquet of roses  -  super cliche, by the way  -  as Knox rambled out his stilted confession. Knox's shoulders shook, and my heart twinged when he slumped to his knees and hunched over, still hiding his face. It would've made sense to be angry. It would've made sense to just laugh it off. But watching Knox come undone like this, someone who never let his guard down, a master of masks... this raw emotion from him cracked something open inside of me. I wanted to scream, to throw the stupid roses at his stupid face, to stalk off into the night. I wanted to...

No. I didn't want to do any of that. Not really. It took only a moment to decide what I had to do. Letting the roses fall and tossing them to the side, and took a step towards the beautiful, stupid, wonderful man kneeling on the ground...

-
Knox
 -


The crinkle of plastic hitting the ground made my ears twitch before two delicate, yet surprisingly strong, paws wrapped around my wrists. Tugging, Nick guided me to my feet and pulled my hands away from my face before dropping his hands to his sides and tilting his chin to lock eyes with me. "Knox?"

I swallowed hard against the rising lump in my throat, fighting not to hide my face again. I felt sick, and my stomach was burning, with little fluttery... things bumping about inside. "Mhmm?" was all I managed to squeak out.

"Did you buy those flowers tonight for me?"

I gulped against the lump in my throat before nodding, my eyes and cheeks going hot.

"You said this wasn't a date, but... did you want to take me on a date tonight?"

The heat in my eyes spilled over my cheeks, dampening my fur in long tracks. "I..." a hiccup interrupted me, but I sniffled and pressed on. "No. I don't know. No? Hell... maybe? Nick, I've... I've been so damn confused ever since you came home." I let out a wet chuckle that sounded more like a sob. "What the hell is happening to me?"

Nick's hands rose once more, hesitant, testing. His eyes searched mine, and when he stepped towards me again, I felt the warm puff of his breaths, shallow and quick against my fur. Time stretched, and everything started fading away  -  the truck, the muggy summer air, the trees, the stars, hell, even the mosquitos. His hands came to rest on my face, and Nick brushed a soft... so soft... thumb over my cheekbones, and I let out another sob before I leaned into his gentle, yet firm, hand.

"Knox?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" I breathed back.

"I'm going to do something... weird now. Is... is that okay?"

My tongue was numb, and my mouth went suddenly bone-dry. Working my jaw for a moment, when I finally managed to speak, my voice had dropped into the lowest register I had; a deep, gritty bass rumble that sounded more like a growl than actual words.

"Yeah."

And the one and only Nick Southwell stretched up onto his tiptoes, slipped his slender arms around my neck. His eyes were glowing as he started leaning closer, and my heavy mitts slipping down to the curve of his waist and pulling him in was like the most natural thing in the world. Those beautiful stormy eyes drifted shut, his lips pursed...

And in his parent's driveway, by the light of my beat-up truck's headlights...

Nick Southwell kissed me.

 
-
To Be Continued
 -


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Back to the Start: A Nick and Knox Story
Last in pool
I'm back at it again, with what is officially the longest story I've ever uploaded! The boys are dealing with their feelings in this one, leading to a big finish and a signature cliffhanger. Hope you enjoy, and as always, comments and DM's are always welcome. Talk to you all in a couple weeks!

~Brig

Keywords
male 1,185,085, canine 188,076, feline 149,195, male/male 123,273, tiger 38,584, sfw 28,260, romance 8,927, labrador 2,277, enemies to lovers 11, second chance 6, gay awakening 4
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 1 day, 11 hrs ago
Rating: General

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