Takes place before Their Final Day
“Moxie! Put on your shoes, we’re gonna be late!” An exasperated lynx woman with beautiful hazelnut fur and black highlights calls, slipping on a furry jacket as she waits by the front door of her home.
“Coming Momma!” A twinkle, before an adorable seven year old hedgehog girl with black fur and green highlights warps up, holding up her arms as her mother puts a jacket on her.
“Now repeat back to me what I’ve told you.” The mother instructs before scooping up a massive pile of wrapped gifts and several unbaked pies.
“Be nice, don’t use my powers to hurt anyone unless they’re also using powers, don’t swear, and don’t leave the mansion grounds.” Moxie repeats from memory, rolling her eyes. “We come every Christmas, I know!”
“I know you know, but knowing something and applying it are two separate things. Now let’s get going.” The mother steps to the door, Moxie warping over and opening it for her. “Thank you. Make sure it’s locked.”
“I know… Ai, please lock the door.” Moxie smiles as she closes the door, and giggles when it locks automatically.
“Hold onto me, let’s go.” The mother smiles softly, and Moxie grabs her pant leg. “Chaos Control.” The mother invokes, and suddenly they’re standing in front of Midnight’s mansion. The gate opens for them, and they walk to the front door before that too is opened.
Standing on the other side is Midnight, with blue pupils, a scholar’s cap, and reading glasses. He blinks and smiles happily. “Roxy! And little Moxie! Merry Christmas!”
“Grunkle Smart!” Moxie cheers, leaping and hugging the older hedgehog.
“Mark.” Roxy nods a greeting with amusement. “Has anyone else shown up yet?”
“Well, your uncle Jolt and Aunt Miru are here. As are your Uncle Mitchell and Aunt Handy. Your aunts Saeko and Eclipse are around too, as are most of your grandparents.” Smart lists on his fingers.
“So most people are here already.” Roxy sighs softly.
“Aside from Luna, Connie, and Grunkle Shadow’s family. Your Uncle Ash is on his way. And of course the extended friends of family are trickling in.” Smart smiles.
“Well, at least we aren’t last.” Roxy comments. “Could you watch Moxie until I can put all these in their proper spots?”
“Of course. Come along Moxie, I think we have some video game systems if you want.” Smart pets Moxie’s head.
“Okay!” Moxie cheers, letting Smart lead her as Roxy goes to put her items away.
As they walk, Moxie looks around as she admires all the pictures on the wall of family members, most she recognizes. But some, she realizes she doesn’t. “...Grunkle Smart? Who’s that?” She points at a picture.
Smart glances over. “That’s Wrath. He’s your grand uncle.”
“...I thought you were my grand uncle… that’s why you’re Grunkle Smart!” Moxie looks confused.
“Technically I’m your great grand uncle, but most of us are ageless so we drop the confusing stuff. Grunkle Nemesis is technically my father, so your great great grandfather. As for Wrath, he’s a time traveler, doesn’t really have time for visits.”
“...He kinda looks like me.” She looks down at her black fur with green highlights.
“Makes sense. He’s technically the mirror version of your grandfather.” Smart clarifies.
“...Mirror version?” Moxie inquires curiously.
“It’s quite the story. Wanna listen to one of my stories of our family’s history?” Smart offers gently.
“...Sure. Video games can wait.” Moxie nods, her curiosity piqued.
“That’s the spirit.” Smart smiles and scoops her up, Moxie squealing and giggling as Smart walks over to the entertainment room, similar to the living room but where all the games and gaming consoles were. Smart takes a corner where a beanbag chair is, taking a seat and putting Moxie on his lap.
“Alright, let’s see… where to start…? Alright, let’s start with the technical beginning. It all started with Grunkle Shadow.” Smart muses.
“Grunkle Grumpy?” Moxie giggles.
“Yeah, him.” Smart snickers. “He was commissioned by an organization called G.U.N., wanting to create biological super soldiers for them. His creator, Gerald Robotnik, refused at first, until he found out that his granddaughter Maria was diagnosed with an incurable disease. Realizing this project may be the only way to get funding for research to cure her, he hesitantly agreed.”
“I think I heard this story before… it’s taught in schools.” Moxie muses aloud.
“A declassified version, certainly. What did they teach?” Smart inquires.
“Project: Shadow was created when Professor Gerald Robotnik used alien DNA to make Shadow on the Space Colony ARK. Shadow was the first Ultimate Lifeform, created to cure all diseases and stop all wars or something. Then G.U.N. found out about the alien deal, and shut down the project. All traces disappeared until 50 years later when the ARK was pulled out of its orbit and almost crashed into Mobius, then Shadow appeared and combined his efforts with the hero Sonic the Hedgehog, resetting its orbit.” Moxie explains.
“...Sounds extremely sanitized, but that’s the synopsis.” Smart agrees. “They make it sound like it was a quick project though. No, it lasted for years. Shadow was the first success, and paved the groundwork for his siblings.”
“How?” Moxie tilts her head.
“Well, Gerald had created Shadow using alien blood from the Black Arms overlord Black Doom. So he knew he likely needed more alien blood to make any duplicates.” Smart explains.
“Which didn’t happen in the original go around.” Flopping into another beanbag nearby is the spitting image of Smart and Midnight, though with orange pupils and little devil horns on his head.
“Hi Grunkle Crazy!” Moxie waves. “Momma tells me I shouldn’t listen to you.”
“Well she’s a smart woman.” Crazy snickers. “But I’m here to fill in some blanks.”
“Blanks only you can fill?” Smart deadpans.
“Blanks only I can fill in this universe.” Crazy winks. Smart rolls his eyes, but doesn’t protest.
“Like what?” Moxie scratches her head.
“Well in the original continuity, that’s it. Shadow was a success, G.U.N. raid happened, Shadow saved the world 50 years later. The rest of the Ultimate Lifeforms don’t exist, he’s the only one.” Crazy comments. “But, like Dragon Ball Z, a difference in the timeline can make a new parallel timeline.”
“For the sake of the people who don’t know what that is?” Smart states.
Crazy smiles softly. “If you don’t know what Dragon Ball Z is, look up Future Trunks and the branched timelines he creates. You’re welcome for the headache, look up a Youtuber to explain it to you.” He seems to be looking at a wall as he explains this.
“...Maddeningly unhelpful as usual, thanks.” Smart remarks dryly.
“My pleasure!” Crazy smiles. “Anyways, that’s the first timeline. Second timeline, our dad Nicholas shows up.”
“...Grunkle Nemesis?” Moxie scrunches her nose as she guesses.
“Yup! Thanks to some timey wimey nonsense, he went back in time during one of his fights, crossing time and space and landing on the ARK. His body wasn’t the one he has now, the one he had back then was aging rapidly, and he and Gerald quickly formed a partnership to solve their issues. Shadow was ageless and immune to all known diseases, yes. But he couldn’t pass it to Maria. Gerald’s second attempt, Great Grandma Luna, was incubating, but he was out of alien blood to use. Grunkle Nemesis was also an alien, and considering he was dying, his ulterior motive was clear. He wanted an ageless undying body like Shadow’s. So they got to work, using Grunkle Nemesis’ blood as a blueprint. Thus, twins Midnight and Scarlet were created... Great Grandpa Midnight, Great Aunt Scarlet… Then Great Aunt Star. Grunkle Nemesis’ new body was finished last, and while harrowingly close to the ARK incident, obviously he survived to be here now.” Crazy smiles.
“...What about you and Grunkle Smart? You two are also Ultimate Lifeforms.” Moxie scratches her head.
“Physically, we came much later. But we were once part of Great Grandfather Midnight.” Smart clarifies.
“...Huh?” Moxie looks back and forth at Smart and Crazy. “...Like… conjoined twins…?”
“More like multiple personality disorder.” Smart explains. “During the ARK incident, Midnight’s pod malfunctioned during an adaption update. It’s what gave him his unstoppable healing factor, but as a side effect, damaged his mind enough to create us. You could consider us enhanced aspects of his left and right brain. Rather than giving him extreme intellect and… whatever Crazy’s deal is, his mind formed us as a coping mechanism to stay sane.”
“Fourth wall meta-commentary.” Crazy supplies, to which Smart gives an exasperated look. “What? There’s enough media detailing what that is by now, it’s not unheard of.”
“Perhaps, but it’s still too deep of a concept for Moxie. And most people, with how you just… blurt whatever you want with little context.” Smart deadpans.
“So… I guess I never really considered it but… what does our family tree look like? I kinda remember having Momma help me make one in kindergarten, and we had to talk to the school board after.” Moxie comments thoughtfully.
“I can guess why. Certainly, allow me.” Smart reaches into his hair before pulling out a large whiteboard, placing it on the wall. He grabs a marker from his hair too, and gets to work. “Alright, so top of the family is Black Doom, Gerald Robotnik, and Grunkle Nemesis. Black Doom gives his blood to create Biolizard, Shadow, and… I think Luna as well, that’s a bit unclear. I personally believe Luna also has Black Doom’s blood.”
“Who’s Biolizard?” Moxie questions.
“A lizard abomination, the prototype of the Ultimate Lifeform program.” Crazy explains. “It’s the reason the ARK almost slammed into the planet. Sonic and Shadow destroyed it and returned the ARK to orbit. Don’t feel bad, it wasn’t sentient.”
“Right. Black Doom also had legions of Black Arms, but they’re not relevant to our family tree.” Smart places the pictures of Black Doom, Gerald, and Grunkle Nemesis on the whiteboard. “Now, Gerald had two sons-”
“Currently unnamed as of 2024.” Crazy adds.
Moxie blinks. “But it’s not 2024, it’s-”
“Fourth wall thing.” Crazy winks with amusement. “Don’t worry about it.”
“...Which in turn each had their own children. One had Doctor Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik. The other had Maria Robotnik.” Smart explains.
“And an unnamed younger sister to Maria, also as of 2024.” Crazy adds.
“Stop that, you’re confusing her.” Smart admonishes.
“This family tree is for more than her.” Crazy retorts saucily.
“...Sure it is.” Smart adds Gerald’s sons, then places Eggman, Maria, and a question mark on the board. “Maria’s sister had a daughter. She legally changed her name to Hope Kintobor to stray away from Ivo’s… let’s say, devaluing the name.” He adds Hope to the board. “Finally, Ivo created an artificial intelligence that gained sentience. He adopted her as his daughter. While he has many creations, Sage was the first he considered truly related to him.”
“Apparently Metal Sonic and Belle don’t count.” Crazy comments. “Probably because Metal Sonic flips back and forth on killing him and Belle… is made of wood?”
“I’m not sure who you’re referring to.” Smart raises an eyebrow.
“Belle Tinker? I swear, what composite universe is this…?” Crazy grumps. “Wooden doll girl?”
“I have no recollection of this person.” Smart admits.
“...IDW canon is ignored, got it.” Crazy muses.
Smart is sorely tempted to strangle his counterpart, but he resists as he draws lines to Shadow and Luna. “Let’s move on. Shadow is more straightforward than Luna, so we’ll start with him. He marries Mina Mongoose, a pop star and Freedom Fighter-”
“You sure we shouldn’t keep things chronological and explain the generations?” Crazy pipes up.
“If you would like to, be my guest.” Smart states, exasperated.
“Sure!” Crazy hops up and smacks the board, spinning it to the other side which is already filled out. “Alright, so chronologically we start with Shadow. Ultimate Lifeform, created like 200 years ago-”
“An over exaggeration.” Smart states.
“Really?” Crazy motions at Moxie. “You can say that with her sitting here listening to us?”
“Well… no, because Shadow was created 50 years before he was released… maybe two years passed before Luna and the others were awoken… Midnight married Looru maybe two years after that and Cinder ten years after that…” Smart frowns and looks back at the whiteboard. “Miru is the oldest, then Saeko, Light, Eclipse, and Mitchell all born a year apart… Five years later the triplets… a year then Ash…”
“Miru is the oldest with kids, Light is the second oldest with grandkids…” Crazy adds.
There’s a slow dawning of realization as Smart runs the numbers. “...Oh my goodness, Shadow is almost 200 years old.”
“And Dad is older than that!” Crazy smiles.
Smart rubs his head, a bit at a loss for words. “...We’re over a hundred years old…”
“It’s not the age, it’s the mileage.” Crazy winks. “Anyways, 50 years after the ARK incident, Luna is awoken. Shortly after, Midnight is awoken, then Scarlet, Star, and Dad.”
“Dad being Grunkle Nemesis.” Smart clarifies to Moxie.
“Otherwise known as Nicholas “Mega/Nemesis” Starfall… that’s a whole other can of worms by the way, we’ll cover that another day. Shadow came to the planet first, he has at least two years on the others waking up, and at most five. But the point is, the next to be awoken is Luna, as seen in Sister Mine by HTKWolfe… I think he posted it at least.” Crazy muses. “...On either Fanfiction or Inkbunny.”
“...Someone is writing stories about us?” Smart tilts his head.
“Yeah. Don’t inquire further, I’ll break you.” Crazy smiles innocently.
“...Great.” Smart rubs his temples again.
“But yeah, Sister Mine gets us off of the canon timeline and into fan fiction territory. HTKWolfe and TlojHRT on Inkbunny worked together to write it and its basically noncanon companion piece Brother Mine. Sister Mine details the first draft of Luna’s story, from her beginnings, awakening the rest of her Ultimate Lifeform family, all the way past her marriage to her wife, the Bride of the Conquering Storm. Or as we call her, Connie.” Crazy explains. “Brother Mine focuses on our first half Midnight and the shenanigans he could get up to. In it, he meets a G.U.N. soldier girl that gets infected with bimbo gas or something and forgets her name and stuff. Midnight moves in with her at her place, a nice home on the beach. He names her Beautiful. Sadly, as it’s mainly a smut fic, it was kinda abandoned in favor of better stories.”
“...My brain hurts. Why do you do this?” Smart groans in annoyance.
“So yeah, Brother Mine isn’t canon, but is technically a branch in the timeline.” Crazy flips the board to reveal some timelines, one labeled “Canon Timeline” and one labeled “HTKJoltLaoruverse”. He draws a branch in “HTKJoltLaoruverse” and labels it “Sister Mine” before drawing a branch from that called “Brother Mine (noncanon).
“...What happened to my family tree…?” Smart questions with a groan, feeling a headache coming.
“Being fixed. Anyways, while Sister Mine is canon, the current up to date version is in development hell and probably will be for the foreseeable future. But the basic gist is, Luna and her A.I. caretaker Ai are introduced. Ai had woken her up because he had been waiting for a good time to do so, as Gerald had told him to awaken her when she would be safe. Deeming the end of the Black Arms at the time to be a suitable benchmark, he followed his orders and released Luna. They went to Mobius, met Shadow, and Luna made a terrible first impression. So she went to Ivo’s location and joined him. Details are fuzzy but she meets the Dark Egg Legion, specifically Bride of the Conquering Storm, Lien-Da, and Mordred Hood. She also becomes great friends with Amy Rose, Hope Kintobor, Andy (an intelligent Shadow Android), modern versions of Sir Percival and Sir Lancelot, and some others… I won’t say who in case that isn’t the case when it gets written. At her own pace she ingratiates herself to them, integrating herself in Eggman’s Empire as a liaison and problem solver. She solved problems her own way, preferring to pursue peaceful solutions and use Ai’s rapidly learning and improving technology to make the quality of life and efficiency of each region skyrocket, earning her massive amounts of respect and pull in the empire. She even started softening Ivo’s harsh exterior and easing him to use his genius to make the world a better place. What once started as an oppressive, mechanical empire eventually, over decades of Luna’s desire to show affection to everyone she could, transformed into a utopia of peace and equality. The Eggman Empire has faded into obscurity; in its place is a revolutionary technological juggernaut helmed by Ai.” Crazy smiles.
“...Some of that was nonsensical, but the rest is accurate.” Smart nods. “Ivo retired from his plans of villainy. Luna had shown him the easiest path one could take to ruling the world: by giving so much that people couldn’t help but give in return. Ivo has long passed away, but he is succeeded by his A.I. daughter Sage. She is learning under Ai, slowly taking over the empire her father created and letting Ai return his focus to Luna’s desires.”
Crazy leans into view with a smile. “Backtracking a good chunk, Luna and Connie had slowly taken a liking to each other. But Connie kept being cold to her, and Luna found the reason soon enough: while Connie was her clan’s leader, it was still led by a council of elders. And they were pressuring her to get married to her betrothed, Sonic the Hedgehog.” He nods to Smart, offering to let him explain.
“Indeed.” Smart nods, grateful. “Her clan had a tradition, the Bride was duty bound to marry the strongest to improve the bloodline. This was upheld by either the Bride, or a chosen champion. And her impromptu champion had been beaten by Sonic, making him her betrothed by default… without him ever knowing.”
“As seen in Sonic Universe #15.” Crazy adds. “She didn’t tell Sonic. Because she had intended for this to secure her freedom in choosing her own mate. Since her betrothed was Sonic, hero of Mobius, there would be no way he’d let himself be tied to a political marriage, much less stick around to learn of this rule and protest.”
“Of course, this would also come to backfire. She was betrothed, and if her groom wouldn’t come to be wed, she would therefore be barred from marrying according to the elders. The only way to get around this was for another, worthier male to beat her betrothed, her new champion.” Smart explains. “So… Luna found this out. And wanting to marry Connie, she devised a plan. She trained to improve her fighting skills, learning from Knuckles and reconciling with Shadow in the process. When she felt she had a good chance to beat Sonic, she kidnapped his “girlfriend” Amy Rose, issuing a challenge for him to rescue her. Then she disguised herself as a man and issued a challenge to fight Connie’s champion in front of the whole clan. And, with the entire clan as a witness and Sonic soon catching on what Luna was up to, put up a believable fight which led to him losing.”
“Connie wasn’t told about this plan by Luna though. She was horrified someone could beat Sonic, and worried she was going to be married to a monster. But eventually Luna filled her in, and after she got over her shock, Connie played along. It was hard for Luna to keep the secret, but as soon as they were married by the clan’s customs she revealed her true self to them with glee. And while the elders seethed and protested, the marriage was done and the two were happily married. Of course they had to redo the marriage for the rest of the family to participate. So they had a second marriage for her friends and family to attend.” Crazy smiles. “...Oh wait, I forgot about the Bios plotline…”
“...Plotline?” Smart raises an eyebrow.
“So there’s this…” Crazy glances at Moxie and quickly adjusts his language. “Not nice guy who took an interest in Luna. An unhealthy obsession even. Bios Dullahan, a guy who could control plants and undead. He wanted her to be his, and even kidnapped her and Midnight a while before this marriage thing… I’m gonna skip what happened but know it was torture that left a major impact on both Luna and Midnight forever. It solidified that Luna preferred women to men. And I believe this is the first time we’re introduced to Wrath? Or was it Springer…? I’ll say Wrath for now since Springer gets reintroduced to meet Light and if he saved Luna at that time then he’d be old enough to be Light’s dad. Time travel!”
“It was Wrath.” Smart clarifies. “He saved Luna and Midnight, and then went on his way.”
“Sure, we’ll go with that. So yeah… Bios happens, then Connie and Luna get married… then the second marriage.” Crazy comments as he motions to the timeline.
“But during the second marriage, Bios crashed the party. He insisted that if Luna couldn’t be his, then she didn’t deserve to live. There was a massive fight that even Dad had a hard time with. I believe it took Wrath showing up and him teaming up with Dad to send Bios packing. But after that, Luna and Connie got married for real. And they’ve been together ever since.”
“So… Wrath is a time traveler, you said that earlier… he looks like me. But you also said he’s not my dad… you said he was the mirror of my grandpa… who’s my grandpa?” Moxie looks at them.
“Spoilers! We aren’t there yet.” Crazy puts a finger in front of his lips, as if telling her to shush.
“Weh…” Moxie sticks out her tongue defiantly. “...Well if he’s a time traveler, how come he isn’t here more often?”
“Because his younger self is growing up in this timeline. You shouldn’t interact with your younger self whenever you can help it.” Crazy explains with a smile. “But we’re getting really off track. We’ve skipped the awakening of all of Shadow and Luna’s siblings and father!”
“Indeed. When Shadow and Luna reconciled, Ai informed them that they weren’t the only two Ultimate Lifeforms, and the Chaos Emeralds would be required to wake the rest. Midnight was first, and he quickly established himself as a wild card. But once he settled down, he worked with them to next awaken Star, then Scarlet, and it took most of the Chaos Emeralds to awaken Dad.” Smart comments. “Luna obviously stuck with Ivo, Midnight went off on his own adventures, but the rest moved in with Shadow at his mansion.”
“Speaking of Midnight, while Luna is getting her romance, Midnight is doing the same.” Crazy smirks. “He started using his talents to become a mercenary. And once he had a foothold in the dark web, Shadow requested his skills to deal with a particular bounty. One that was assigned to Shadow, but he felt was below his pay grade. That mission? To bring in one Cinder Shorehaven, dead or alive.” He flips the whiteboard around to reveal an updated family tree, where he slaps Cinder’s picture next to Midnight.
“...Midnight has a thing for strong girls. And also girls in tube tops. Cinder… had both those things. And also the strength to rip Midnight’s head off his body. In Midnight’s eyes, it was love at first sight. In Cinder’s, she saw a threat to her life and well being. Call it a slow burn if you want, but over time Cinder came to see Midnight for who he truly is: someone willing to go to great lengths to those he cares about. Over the course of their relationship, their entire dynamic changed. Starting as antagonistic forces, Midnight took it upon himself to show Cinder the good he saw in her. He tracked down the owners of the dojo Cinder had grown up in, and brought her back for her to discover for herself the master of the dojo was someone she could learn from and train under. I think to their kids he’s called Godfather Beat Sigfried? Then Midnight used his status as a reliable mercenary to shift Cinder’s bounty, and turn her life sentence into house arrest, serving her life sentence under Beat’s tutelage and Midnight’s supervision. Cinder’s hatred of him turned to neutral disdain, then begrudging respect. And during this time… Midnight met his first wife.” Smart sighs softly.
“Enter, Looru Aurora.” Crazy slaps a picture of Looru on the other side of Midnight. “Back when Midnight was still at the point he was antagonizing Cinder (so before he tracked down Beat), he quite literally ran into Looru. Call it a whirlwind romance, but he swept her off her feet. I forget the time frame, but it wasn’t long before he proposed to her. Around here, Jycrain enters the picture. He wanted to marry Looru, and was ready to fight Midnight and die for it. He and Scarlet diverted that outcome, and like Bulma caring for Vegeta in DBZ, things start working out between Scarlet and Jycrain, allowing Midnight and Looru to get married. And some time after that… they had their first child, Miru.” He slaps pictures of Jycrain and Miru on the board before stepping back and inspecting the board. “...Midnight’s family tree might need its own board.” He pulls one from his hair, slapping Midnight, Cinder, Looru, and Miru on that board. “There.”
“Midnight was happy to be a father and loving husband.” Smart comments. “But… an unexpected hurdle appeared. A door he had thought was closed to him suddenly swung open. Cinder’s respect blossomed. After all he had done for her, her ice cold heart opened to him. And in a moment of weakness, they became married by echidnaen customs.” He puts Saeko on the other board. “And Saeko was conceived.”
“...Is that bad?” Moxie tilts her head.
“...In normal circumstances, yes. Traditionally, a marriage is only one man and one woman, called monogamy. There are very few exceptions.” Smart explains. “If another man or woman enters the picture, it usually ends very poorly, with lots of heartbreak.”
“A few species are polygamous though, which means more than one husband or wife. The primary example is echidnas, there are so few that as long as they can have children to create more echidnas then their marriages are rather open.” Crazy smiles. “Thanks to the longevity of Ultimate Lifeforms though, they’re the second largest demographic of polygamous relationships.”
“...Why?” Moxie frowns, trying to wrap her head around the concepts of monogamy and polygamy.
“Supposedly, an Ultimate Lifeform is ageless. Every other species isn’t. Therefore, an Ultimate Lifeform will outlive their spouse. In the traditional sense, this form of polygamy would make sense; when their spouse passes, they will eventually remarry. That is the theory. In practice though…” Smart sweats.
“Luna has so much love to give that Connie can’t keep up. So their marriage is open for Luna to bring in whoever she wants. Connie has vetoed all of them except for Wrath’s father.” Crazy puts a green hedgehog on the board with Luna and Connie. “He was once just a sperm donor. ...I don’t know if that’s still the case, but I think both Luna and Connie are open to him joining their marriage. His name’s… Manic I think?”
“Indeed. Sonic’s twin brother. He doesn’t have powers like Sonic, so he’s fallen into obscurity. He probably prefers it that way.” Smart muses.
“But yeah, Midnight kept his double life a secret. But being an Ultimate Lifeform, he had the skillset to be present in both family’s lives quite consistently. But he knew he couldn’t keep it up forever. Light is born. Then Eclipse. Then Mitchell. Around this point is when he decided to rip off the band aid and reveal his families to each other. It was a long, rocky patch. But eventually Cinder came to love Looru as well, and soon after Looru reciprocated. The family melded together.” Crazy smiles. “And in that time, Ash and the triplets are born. ...I don’t remember the order.” He puts them on Midnight’s family tree. “For the sake of completeness, Midnight has a third wife named Alice, but she doesn’t officially join the family for a good while.” He puts Alice on the board too. “Well, in the combined timeline anyways.”
“...Combined timeline.” Smart frowns at Crazy, already feeling another migraine coming.
“Well yeah.” Crazy comments. “Cinder and Looru were originally in two separate timelines and Midnight seduced both of them. But the timeline where Midnight and Looru got together got to that marriage long before Midnight and Cinder got together. Lots of rewrites and redos, abandoned RPs, that let Midnight basically Re:Zero his way into Cinder’s heart. Pretty sure Miru, Light, and Mitchell were already adults with their own relationships before there was an attempt to bring the universes together… But since the Midnight/Looru timeline was pretty straightforward and simple, when the timelines merged details adjusted to meld Cinder into the new world.” He draws out two timelines, marking one as “Midnight tries and fails a lot to win Cinder’s heart, this is all the failed attempts” and one as “Midnight and Looru get together” before making a third, naming it “Combined Timeline 1”. “Unifying the timelines readjusted the ages though. There was a larger age gap between Miru, Light, and Mitchell before the redo. Like, 18 years each.”
“Could we please… stick to this timeline?” Smart begs.
“Fine, fine. Rewinding a bit… chronologically Luna and Connie marry first. Then Midnight and Looru marry second. ...I think Scarlet and Jycrain get married next? It’s a bit nebulous here… but I’m reasonably certain Midnight, Looru, and Cinder start trying to work out their prime time slot five season romcom before Shadow actually starts looking for love?” Crazy muses. “Also before the merge, Scarlet was individually married to Jycrain and Smoke. I wonder how the authors reconciled that chestnut…?
“Shadow was dating Mina Mongoose for a while.” Smart clarifies with a strained tone. “I’m sure they were dating before Scarlet and Jycrain started courting. But that was a slow burn. And since Jycrain is an echidna hybrid, that likely left them open to a polygamous relationship.”
“Mina Mongoose is a world famous popstar by the way.” Crazy smiles to Moxie. “Back then I think she was only a regional sensation though. Luna and Sonic set them up I think? Since Mina was into Sonic but Sonic was already dealing with his own love triangle… which is a whole other board by the way. Another time for that one too. But yeah, they were dating for a while. A very slow burn. But they finally get hitched after Midnight, Cinder, and Looru work things out… I think they get married before the three officially get married.”
“...I’m lost, but okay.” Moxie admits.
“Luna and Connie get married first.” Smart points to the board. “Midnight and Looru get married second. Midnight and Cinder do not officially marry but have the echidnaen unification ritual. Scarlet and Jycrain get married third. Shadow and Mina get married fourth. And Midnight, Looru, and Cinder officially get married altogether after that.”
“And Scarlet, Smoke, and Jycrain getting together happens somewhere in there.” Crazy adds.
“Please… stop talking.” Smart begs, adding Smoke to the board and trying to recall how Scarlet, Smoke, and Jycrain got together. He has to admit he has no real idea, and mentally attributes it to Smoke preferring to keep his secrets. Yes, surely the three knew, and there was a logical explanation…
“You good Smart? Your funny hat is starting to smolder.” Crazy quirks his head with amusement.
“I need a drink.” Smart mutters before clearing his throat. “Right, so after Smoke joins Scarlet and Jycrain, Shadow then marries Rouge. They’re the last marriage for a while.”
“Yup!” Crazy smiles. “...Now we get to sort out the order of the kids being born!”
“Yaaaay…” Smart looks less than thrilled. In fact, he seems like he wants to shoot himself.
“Well wait… what about you two?” Moxie looks at them curiously. “You said you were both in Grunkle Midnight’s head… but you’re not anymore.”
“Ah, well that’s because we decided we would like to try out living our own lives. So when Midnight needed a few extra hands to protect the mansion from an impressive assault, we used his blood to regenerate into our own beings. It was something I always theorized we could do, but we never really felt the desire to do so until then. Not really anything grandiose, but I suppose it needed filling in. That happened after Alice came along… which wasn’t too long ago honestly. Within the last twenty years or so.” Smart clarifies.
Moxie nods slowly, satisfied with the explanation. “...So now you’re gonna move on to the kids?”
“Well Midnight’s side is easy. Miru is first, then Saeko, then Light, then Eclipse, then Mitchell.” Crazy motions to the side whiteboard. “After that… I think Luna adopts Apogee?”
“Sure, let’s go with that.” Smart puts Apogee on the board. “She’s an echidna girl that lost her parents when she was young. Luna found her among the echidnaen orphans while she was helping Lien-Da. Apogee was a bit of an outcast, wanting to build machines to go fast and fly and such. This was… a year into Luna and Connie’s marriage. Luna was ready for children but not ready to give birth, especially because she knew Wrath was biologically hers and wasn’t mentally prepared to raise a child that could turn out like him.”
“Time travel!” Crazy repeats with jazz hands, making Moxie giggle.
“So with a talk with Connie, the three met up and spent time together. After some bonding, Luna and Connie officially adopted Apogee. She started working with Ai and Hope Kintobor, learning about Extreme Gear and starting down her lifelong career path of becoming an Extreme Gear mechanic and racer.” Smart finishes.
“During this time, Miru meets an up and coming star in the music industry: Jolt the Renegade Hedgehog, or Jolt T.R.H.” Crazy smiles and puts him on the board. “Stage names sure are wacky…”
“Wait, the world famous actor Jolt?! We’re related to him?!” Moxie’s eyes go wide.
“Indeed. He started as a stage hand for Mina’s band, but quickly made his talents known.” Smart comments. “Probably would have courted and married Mina if she were a decade younger and single. But when Mina left the limelight to hide her pregnancy and start raising her first child with Shadow, Jolt took over her band the Forget-Me-Knots to fill the gap. He exploded in popularity, soon catching up to Mina’s worldwide popularity by diversifying his entertainment portfolio. Pop concerts obviously, but also comedy skits, stage plays, and collaborating with bands in other music genres. He never let the fame get to his head though, living a humble life. He accidentally stumbled into Miru and immediately swept her off her feet like her father had done to her mother.”
“During their relationship he started branching out into the movie industry. He got paired with rising star Novalline Stone, and together they started churning hit movie after hit movie.” Crazy smiles.
Moxie tilts her head. “...So let me guess, he started dating Novalline and Miru in secret like Grunkle Midnight?”
“No, actually. The three became great friends.” Smart comments. “Eventually the time came that he had to choose who to marry though, Miru knowing the route that could happen and being serious with them, that she refused to have the same relationship as her father, her heart couldn’t take that. Jolt had to choose one or the other. And in the end… he chose Miru. He and Nova continued their public career until Nova peacefully passed of old age, but in private Miru and Jolt married. The three continued to be the best of friends until Nova passed away though. They even named their second child after her. Novalline “Nova” Starfall.”
“...How come she aged and Jolt didn’t?” Moxie asks with a frown.
“Because those who marry into the Ultimate Lifeform family are gifted an ageless serum I perfected.” Smart explains with a smile. “It is up to the spouse to decide if they wish to take it. But if they do, their biological clock is stopped at the age they take the serum. They gain a very small healing factor too, not on the level of a standard Ultimate Lifeform, but enough to heal small wounds faster than a normal Mobian. Any children an Ultimate Lifeform and their spouse create inherit this agelessness, though any powers the parents pass down to their children are less likely to be weakened if the spouse has taken the serum.”
Moxie looks to her hands, sparking some Chaos Energy in her hands. “...So I have powers like my Momma because she’s an Ultimate Lifeform child?”
“Yup, you’re an Ultimate Lifeform kid!” Crazy smiles.
“To which Ultimate Lifeform?” Moxie muses aloud. “You’re really dragging this out Grunkles…”
Crazy snickers while Smart gives a smug smile. “Well then, let’s continue.” Smart smiles. “Crazy?”
“Right. So Jolt and Miru… next is Light and Springer.” Crazy puts Light on the board, before putting a green hedgehog with a scar on both boards. Then he puts a lynx with a similar scar on both boards.
“...What are you…?” Smart raises an eyebrow.
“So, time travel. It’s funky.” Crazy comments as he writes Springer under both pictures. “See, for the longest time Springer was a hedgehog. But recently he’s become a lynx. No one else noticed. But I did.”
“...Sure. Anyways, Springer is a puzzle and a half, if Crazy’s ramblings weren’t a hint. He’s a resident of the Antiverse. A mirror dimension where most people you know have their alignments reversed. It’s not a complete opposite thing, some things are switched while other things are retained. It’s super confusing.” Smart comments.
“In that universe, there were mirror versions of Shadow, Luna, Midnight, Scarlet, Star, and Grunkle Nemesis obviously. But Anti-Luna, whom we know as Stella, was a paranoid prick. She offed Anti-Shadow, Anti-Scarlet, and Anti-Star in short order. Anti-Midnight, who we know as Twilight, shares Midnight’s healing factor so he was much more effort than it was worth to kill. Anti-Nemesis, ashamed of his children, abandoned the planet and left them to their devices. Stella and Twilight came to an understanding: Twilight would be left to his own devices if he didn’t interfere with Stella’s schemes. And Stella… well, let’s call her a primary antagonist to Luna. She’s a top tier hater, basically loves ruining Luna’s life. I’m not entirely sure if this was a part of it, but she basically copied Luna marrying Connie by taking over the Dragon Kingdom and taking Anti-Connie as her bride. Then she forced Anti-Connie and Anti-Manic to conceive a child. That child, a child with no powers, born out of malice, was Springer. Stella was abusive to everyone in her life, her wife and “child” were no different. So one time while Stella was messing with Luna, Anti-Connie took Springer and left him at an orphanage in Twilight’s territory. When Stella returned and couldn’t find her “child”… well, Anti-Connie was never heard from again.”
“That’s… terrible…” Moxie whimpers softly.
“A cruel tragedy.” Smart agrees. “But I’m sure Anti-Connie knew how things would go, and went through with it anyways. Springer grew up without knowing his ties to the Ultimate Lifeforms. He joined a group of freedom fighters named the Wreckers, determined to mess with Twilight and Stella and make them leave the planet if possible. They were nowhere near strong enough to pose more than a nuisance. But they were clever and resourceful. Springer found that he was a prodigy when it came to technology, making himself and his team mechanized power suits that could transform into vehicles for swift getaways. He constantly repaired and improved them, ensuring that no matter how merciless Twilight and Stella were, his team continued to slip away without losing anyone else. As he grew he and co-leader Smolder Smelt butted heads, vying for the attention of female marksman Roxanne Carter, or R.C. to them. Their friendly rivalry forged the three into a surgical task force, able to slip into Twilight and Stella’s bases and smuggle items that would help them keep ahead in the war. But one time, they slipped up.”
“While trying to mess with some of Stella’s supplies, they didn’t expect her to return to base so soon. Springer held Stella off to let his allies escape, and in a bid of desperation he activated a device that Stella had in her lab, hoping it was a bomb. It wasn’t, it was a multiversal teleportation device. It brought Springer to this world, with shattered gear and no idea how to return home. As fate would have it, Light would stumble upon him and take pity on him, bringing him back home. He was shocked at first, finding out who her family was and being instantly distrustful. In fact, Springer and Light rarely saw eye to eye. But their stubbornness brought out the best in each other. It was a slow process, but their hate and distrust eventually gave way to respect, and romance. Springer became Light’s knight in shining armor. A wholly unnecessary ideal, seeing as how Springer was completely mortal and Light was an Ultimate Lifeform. But this dichotomy brought them together; especially since Light was the first Ultimate Life Form to want to be mortal, to grow old and die. And Springer vowed to make that happen, to make her biological clock turn. One day though, Springer figured out how to get back home. What he didn’t expect was Stella waiting for him, pouncing on her prey. She finally pried the armor off of him, and seeing him immediately figured out who this was: her “son”. And learning that, she couldn’t kill him… She had so much “family bonding” to catch up on. But this came back to bite her, as by seeing him as her small defenseless child once more, he was able to escape back to this world, on the edge of life. Light was horrified, and scared to lose him. She was desperate to save him, and did something she vowed to never do… she gave him her blood. And in doing so, instead of making her mortal… Springer was made ageless. He was so distraught that she had made that choice for him, that they essentially became a couple on the spot. Their love became so deep, that I believe they were married within a year thereafter.”
Crazy looks amused. “...I’m certain it didn’t work out like that. Pretty sure Twilight or Bios was involved somehow… but whatever, we can retcon it to that. Oh, and during all this, Luna found out that Springer was basically the Antiverse version of her son. So… she adopted him too. But don’t worry, since they aren’t biologically related, there’s nothing icky about Springer and Light being married. ...Though it sure gave Light a shock and several weeks to accept it. But it was a net positive, with Springer being brought into Luna’s family he had direct access to Ai, and an environment to learn and hone his knowledge even higher. While he may not have powers, he’s likely one of the smartest people on the planet.”
“What about his team? The Wreckers? Did he go back and save them?” Moxie tilts her head.
“Yes… he thought he saved them once, but eventually they came here on their own. They live downtown in an apartment Springer helped them build as an apology.” Smart explains.
“...So if Springer married Light, that Smolder Smelt guy married R.C. then?” Moxie guesses.
“He would have, but she also got thrown across the multiverse. They thought she was dead, so hesitantly, Smolder moved on. He found a reporter girl name Bridget Tunis… I think they’re steady, but haven’t married.” Smart muses. “...Oh, but then they indeed found R.C. She’s enjoying the single life. But speaking of, Bridget is friends with Mitchell and his girlfriend.” He puts Mitchell on the board.
“Mitchell is a chip off the old block! He wanted to be a mercenary like his father, and I think he does.” Crazy smiles. “He met his girlfriend on the street. She pick-pocketed him.” He puts Handy on the board. “Handy Lichtande grew up at an orphanage. When she was old enough to fend for herself, she turned to petty crime to keep the orphanage she grew up in afloat. She’s a scrappy tomboy, so obviously Mitchell was immediately into her. They had some cat and mouse games before Handy finally confessed why she was stealing… and was subsequently shocked when Mitchell gave her money. And then he helped her with the orphanage. So now she’s the orphanage director, and Mitchell helps her however he can. I think he’s planning on proposing soon… probably because he’s gotten the hang of raising the orphan kids and wants to raise some of his own with her. Probably keeps his eyes from wandering…”
“...We skipped Saeko and Eclipse.” Smart notes, putting them on the board.
“Well, that’s pretty easy. Saeko has her own versions of Smart and I in her head. She’s really into fighting. I think she’s dating a wolf-dragon femboy.” Crazy muses. “And Eclipse is a magic user. She has a mimic familiar named Max that helps her with her magic. Aside from that, she’s single.”
“Finally, there’s Ash and the triplets.” Smart puts them on the board. “Ash is Midnight and Cinder’s first son together. He’s quite reserved and into reading. The triplets though, they’re quite rambunctious.”
“Miel, the upcoming popstar! Michelle, the budding scientist! And Moly, the training athlete! They’re gonna take the world by storm someday! But until then, they’re using scholarships to travel the world together and enjoy their college life. They send postcards, but rarely come to visit. Maybe they’ll show up for the holidays…?” Crazy muses.
“Well, that’s all of Midnight’s kids… let’s wrap up Luna’s so we can focus on the others.” Smart suggests.
“Right. So obviously with Apogee and Springer grown up, Luna had a case of empty nest syndrome… and finally felt the time was right to have Wrath. So she went and got that sperm sample, and soon enough Wrath was born. And then Ai made a discovery that would allow Luna and Connie to conceive a child without a sperm donor… so eventually after, their final child to date was born… Riza Moon Robotnik, the Bride of the Rising Moon. Poetic.” Crazy puts them on the board. “We should see them soon.”
“Scarlet and Jycrain had twins, Sky and Rain. And Scarlet and Smoke had a daughter, Hazel. They nicknamed her Haze.” Smart puts them on the board. “They tend to keep to themselves, since Jycrain dislikes Midnight and Smoke prefers his space.”
“Oh, but Smoke visits to train Eclipse and Looru in magic. He’s the Sorcerer Supreme or something. Stealing Doctor Strange’s schtick… I honestly don’t know if Haze has magic or not.” Crazy muses. “And that leaves Grumpy. We’ve come full circle.” Crazy winks. “Alright, so first Shadow and Mina had their first daughter, Symphony. She’s being tutored by Jolt, as is Miel whenever she’s around. When she’s ready, she might take over Jolt’s band and continue her mother’s legacy. Second is Shad, Shadow and Mina’s first son… we call him Sparky, since whatever voodoo gave Mina her powers mingled with Chaos Energy and gave him electrokinesis. He follows Shadow around and absorbs everything like a sponge… doesn’t seem to have any real desires of his own though. Next is Onyx, Shadow and Rouge’s first son. I think he’s training to be a super spy? And finally, their current youngest, Silver… which is hilarious to me, but the world isn’t ready for me to explain that joke… he has psychokinesis, and is very polite. Probably into cats~”
“Alright… that’s the first generation of kids.” Smart sips some eggnog, and Crazy follows suit. Neither seem inclined to explain where they got it.
“Right… I’m gonna skip Dad’s relationships, but I’ll put them on the board.” Smart puts them on the main board. “...But now, we move to the second generation of children.”
“In a surprising twist, Springer and Light are the first to have kids.” Crazy puts a lynx on the board, which makes Moxie gasp with eyes wide.
“That’s Momma!” Moxie points excitedly. “So Springer and Light are my grandpa and grandma!”
“That’s right. Springer and Light conceive Roxanne Carter Starfall, named after Springer’s longtime friend. We call her Roxy… which is likely why you were named Moxie. Because it rhymes.” Crazy chuckles.
Moxie studies the board excitedly, studying Springer and Light with newfound interest.
“Next is Jolt and Miru’s firstborn, Jirou… they don’t let us take pictures because she’s gonna be a child star and they want the film to be a surprise when it drops.” Smart explains as he puts a placeholder picture on the board. “But again, their second is named after their longtime friend Novalline “Nova” Starfall. She’s outgoing like her mom, doesn’t seem super keen on the spotlight currently though. And finally their youngest, Tloj Heart Starfall.”
“Because JoltTRH needs to put his self-insert somewhere.” Crazy sasses, before seeming to take psychic damage to the face and collapsing into a Family Guy death pose.
“...I don’t know.” Smart shrugs to Moxie’s inquisitive expression. “But with the second generation done, that leads us to you.” He puts her on the board.
“...Technically you and Roxy are noncanon, but maybe with this story you’ll be canon.” Crazy sits up.
“...That sounds demeaning, don’t be demeaning.” Smart chastises.
“What? Like, we don’t know who Roxy’s husband is. Is he a sperm donor too? He’s not here.” Crazy points out. “We don’t even know his name.”
Moxie looks thoughtful. “...I don’t remember my dad. It’s always been Momma and I as far as I can remember.”
“Well this story has taken way too long, so I think it’s time we started wrapping it up.” Crazy comments, starting to pack up the boards.
“Wait.” Moxie points to Light and Springer. “...That’s my Grandma and Grandpa. But… I don’t remember ever seeing them in person. Where are they? Did they move to the Antiverse or something…?”
Smart and Crazy pause, sharing a look.
“...Grunkle Smart? Grunkle Crazy?” Moxie looks between them, puzzled.
“...C’mon kiddo. We’ve got something to show you.” Crazy finishes putting the boards away, holding his hand out to her, which she accepts and stands.
The three head out, past where people are milling about. They receive greetings from every person they pass, through the kitchen and into the backyard. Moxie pauses when she sees her mother there. “...Momma?”
Roxy tenses, rubbing her face and sniffing before turning and putting on a smile. “Hey Moxie… everything okay?” She lowers to a knee, holding her arms out.
Moxie frowns and hurries over, hugging her. “...Were you crying? Why are you crying Momma…?”
“Oh… well… I suppose I always get emotional… visiting your grandma and grandpa.” Roxy says softly, standing and turning. Moxie blinks and looks, pausing as her eyes take in a detail she had never noticed before.
In a quiet part of the backyard, shaded underneath a large tree, are two elegant tombstones. One is shaped like futuristic armor piled up to form a gnome-sized man, and the other is shaped like an open book with a bookmark. Both have writing on them, including a detailed epitaph on each of them.
Fitzgerald Springfield “Springer” Kintobor-Starfall, 20XX-21XX. Wrecker, Leader, Survivor, Knight, Husband, Father. “A knight’s duty is to his family. To my descendants, do not mourn me. Tell my story, and be inspired. Find your prince or princess, and be by their side always, no matter the journey they lead you down.”
Light Aurora Starfall, 20XX-21XX. Daughter, Princess, Wife, Mother. “Do not mourn me, saying I was taken too soon. I was born immortal, and wished for nothing more than to be mortal. Life is a gift, one that should be treasured every day. I have never felt more alive than the day I laid down for my final time. For while my children and their children’s children will never have to fear what lays beyond… what awaits me there excites me. And with my knight by my side, I will never fear again.”
Moxie’s eyes fill with tears as she reads the tombstones. “What… but… Grunkle Smart said they both were ageless… so… why are they…?
“Because, Father made a promise.” Roxy murmurs softly. “When they felt I was old enough to understand, they sat me down and told me. Mother didn’t wish to live forever. Springer had spent decades of his life, researching how to reverse the agelessness serum. And… he had cracked the secret. He could make Mother age, and give to her the one thing she always wanted: To grow old. To be able to pass. And he didn’t want her to take that journey alone. They would take it together. To grow old together. To live each day like the gift it truly is, to appreciate each and every second together. To be together to the end.”
Roxy takes a shaky breath to try and steady herself. “...They still lived a long, happy life. You definitely don’t remember. But they were there until you were one year old. Father… Springer… said you were full of spunk, full of moxie… So that’s what I named you. You… I feel like you look like how he would have looked like if he was a hedgehog. I got his mother’s genes. We received Mother’s powers. And… Father’s legacy, if we desire. And if not… we also have his age restoration potion. Mother… she felt her wish was selfish. She wanted to make sure to have children that inherited her powers, so that we could choose for ourselves if we wanted to be ageless like the rest of our family… or see her and Father on our own terms.”
Smart gently places a hand on Roxy’s shoulder. “A choice you will have far longer than most. That is the gift, and curse, of being ageless. But as Springer said, do not mourn them. They chose the path they wanted to see to the very end. But while they have left us physically, they will always be with us. For as long as they are remembered, they will never truly be gone. And… being ageless… we’ll remember them for a long time.”
Roxy sniffs and wipes her eyes again. “...You’re right, as always Grunkle Smart… phew, alright… That’s enough being emotional. It’s Christmas, and everyone is here. Let’s make Mother and Father happy, and live life how we want. Right Moxie?”
Moxie slowly nods, sniffling and wiping her eyes too. “Y-yeah… I wanna meet my family. For real this time.”
“That’s the spirit.” Smart smiles, and ushers them inside.
Crazy watches them before glancing up at you, the reader. “Well, Merry Christmas and all that. And don’t forget, we’re fictional. Live your life to the fullest. Because unlike us, you don’t get the luxury of being ageless. Live!”
Midnight peers outside. “...Crazy. Are you talking to the reader again?”
“A little. I think I’ve gotten rusty. Until next time!” Crazy waves and heads inside.
The End
