Space to Breathe: An Axel and Isaac Story by BrigantineW < Submission

Keywords male 1253502, fox 259075, feline 159526, gay 156531, male/male 133880, vulpine 38031, drama 4721, puma 3935, highschool 637, high school 556

Axel sat in a waiting room, anxiously bouncing his foot up and down. He'd been meeting every Tuesday with the therapist that Isaac's parents were paying for him to see, and Axel could tell he was making progress. But he was still nervous that Mrs. Grant would judge him, or tell him he was beyond saving, or some other ridiculous thing. Axel let out a gusty sigh and rubbed his face with his hand. Under his breath, he muttered, "It's just your brain. Your stupid, stupid brain. Everything's going to be fine, it's all gonna be  - "

The door to Mrs. Grant's office swung open, and a yellow lizard with a black-and-white striped tail popped her head around the corner. With a voice that was as loud as you could get before shouting, she called, "Axel!"

Axel jumped, letting out a little squeak of surprise. "O-oh! I'm here, Mrs. Grant. Sorry, let me..." Axel scooped up his backpack and heavy jacket  -  the mid-November air was unseasonably frosty  -  and walked with his therapist to her meeting room.

When they sat down, Mrs. Grant pushed her gold-rimmed glasses up her snout, and the thick lenses made her deep green eyes look as big as beach balls. "So, Axel, when are you going to call me Cal?" She'd told Axel at their first meeting that he should call her by her nickname (her full first name was Calpurnia, and she hated it).

The young puma looked away, smiling shyly. "Sorry, Mrs. Grant. It's probably going to take some time. I'm not used to adults letting me call them by their first names."

"Didn't you say your boyfriend's parents let you do that?"

"I... I guess so." Axel took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and sighed it back out. "All right. Um, sorry, Cal."

Mrs. Grant rolled her eyes, tipped her head back, and let out a throaty laugh that made her cushiony body jiggle. "Much better! Now, we've been working on creating healthy boundaries. I think we should  - "

"Actually!" Axel cut in, wincing internally at interrupting the older lizard. "Er, actually, I want to talk about something that's been bothering me. Something specific. It's related, though, promise!" The lizard smiled and nodded, leaning in to listen. Axel took a deep breath and let it all out.

"I've been worried that my boyfriend  -  uh, Isaac, I mean, has been getting too attached to me. He refused to apply for colleges I didn't apply for, and he's almost a shoe-in for Columbia. But he also said that whatever college I go to is where he's going to go, and I can't let him do that! I mean, he's got talent, he's so smart, he's handsome... He can do better than me. But I really don't want to lose him, either; I need him to back off enough to realize it'll be okay if he gets into a different college. And I don't know how to do that."

Axel spoke rapidly, barely stopping to breathe, and when he finished, he gasped in a big gulp of air. While he fidgeted with his claws, picking at the space beneath them, Cal spoke, keeping her voice low and soft. "Axel, I can tell that this is really weighing on you. Have you been thinking about this for a long time?" The puma nodded sadly. "I thought so. You said you two got together very quickly, and then you moved in together shortly thereafter?" Another nod. "Well, there are a few options available to you. You could break up with him  - "

"No!" Axel shouted, bolting to his feet. "No, that's the last thing I want to do!"

"Settle down, kiddo. It was just an option. The next one is to stay with the Talbots and try to work things out there, but that hasn't been working for you either. So, the third option..."

Axel nodded along as Cal laid out her plan, and his eyes grew bright when she had finished. "That's a great idea! I love it. I'll talk to Isaac as soon as I get home, and I'll talk to my dad when he picks me up to take me home."

"Good! Let me know how it works out for you. I think this could be a healthy step for both you and Isaac."

They talked for about a quarter of an hour longer, Cal letting Axel just decompress. However, a clock chimed, and the five bells told Axel it was time to go. "Thanks, Mrs. Gr- er, I mean, Cal!"

Since Axel was her last appointment of the day, she walked him all the way out to the parking lot. "You have my number. Call if you need anything."

"Will do!" Axel gave her a sloppy salute, which made Cal laugh and jiggle again. She went back inside, and the young puma didn't have to wait long until his dad's sleek sports car pulled into the parking space in front of him.

Axel climbed into the passenger side, and immediately got peppered with questions from his younger brothers, Caleb and Ben. "Axel! When are we going to play catch again?" "Hey, wanna check out this cool rock I found?" "Axel! Dad took us to get sushi!"

Okay, so that last one wasn't a question, but it was what got Axel's attention. "Sushi?"

Rob, the father of the three, smiled. "I didn't forget about you, kiddo. Here's a to-go box. We came straight from the restaurant, so it's still cold."

Axel opened the box, feasting on eel nigiri (his favorite) while his dad drove. As he finished licking the sweet and savory sauce from his paws, he turned his head to look at Rob. "Hey, uh, Dad? Can I ask you a question?" Rob grunted an assent, and Axel pressed on. "Do you still have that room at your place?"

...

Axel stood in front of the back door to the house he and Isaac had shared these last several months. He knew that his idea could completely blow up in his face, and as he thought about the possibility of losing Isaac, his heart beat a frantic samba in his chest. I can't believe I'm about to do this. I can't think of anything that would be worse than losing Isaac, but Cal, and my dad, have a point. We barely know each other... Axel let out a gusty sigh, and with a trembling paw, he walked inside.

Nobody was there. Talk about anticlimactic. No, wait, if Isaac's not here, I can't talk to him, and I have to wait. Shit, that's SO much worse. Axel opened the door to the garage and saw that Isaac had parked his car inside. Since the slim fox hadn't come to see whoever had just walked in the door, Axel thought it was safe to assume that Isaac was upstairs.

He walked over to and started climbing the steps to the second floor, a ball of nerves growing in the pit of his stomach with every step. When Axel finally reached the top, he could hear rock music blaring from Isaac's room through the open door. The puma slowly inched inside, getting just past the doorway, when he saw Isaac reclined on his bed.

His fox wore nothing but a pair of briefs; the dark blue pair that Axel loved to see painted onto him. Isaac had clearly showered before Axel got home, as his fur was clean and shiny despite having had track practice today, and Axel caught a whiff of the cologne that Isaac wore the first time they tried to fool around (and got rudely interrupted by Isaac's dad). The way the sleek vulpine was laying gave his boyfriend a look at his limber legs. Axel licked his lips at the way they splayed open, one laid out to the side and the other canted up, highlighting the treasure trail of thick fur that ran down between Isaac's legs and disappeared into his briefs, which were almost  -  but not quite  -  hiding his bulge.

Axel almost jumped him right then and there, but he shook it off, taking a deep breath. Isaac was holding a pad of paper and writing something down; the little guy hadn't even registered that Axel was there yet. At least he's not wearing headphones... The puma cleared his throat, and softly said, "Isaac? Can we talk?"

-

Isaac had had a terrible day. First, he rolled his ankle at practice, stepping on a rock during their free run in the field next to the school. Odds were good that wouldn't be able to play in the last meet of the season, and he'd wanted that gold medal so badly he could taste it. Then, his parents had gone out of town for a few weeks, visiting his adopted sisters at their college three states away, with no warning. At least they remembered to leave me the card, so I can get groceries. Finally, Isaac had popped a tire on the way home, and his tire iron and jack stand were missing. He'd waited over an hour for a tow truck to come spend a mere 5 minutes putting the spare on.

When Isaac finally got home, he was cold, hungry, and in pain. He took some aspirin, took a nice, hot shower, and laid down to listen to the most aggressive music he could find while writing some angsty poetry in his journal. Eventually, the feisty fox found his groove, and the words felt like they were pouring from his pen onto the paper. The rock music faded away, and his field of vision narrowed; all Isaac's focus was zoomed in on his journal. Distantly, he thought he heard someone talking, but Isaac tuned it out, unbothered.

...

Hmm. There it was again. A voice, a little louder this time. Still, the words made no sense; it was there one minute, and gone the next. Whatever. Isaac kept writing, the feeling of working his creative muscles giving him a deep sense of pride and satisfaction.

A tan-and-white paw waved in front of his eyes, breaking the spell that Isaac's journal had cast over him. The gentle fox yipped in surprise, jumping and dropping his journal in his lap. In doing so, he tweaked his ankle and let out a bark of pain. "Aah! Shit! Fuck, who's there?"

He looked up to see the concerned face of his boyfriend. "Hey, hey. Easy there, little fox. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, but you were completely ignoring me, even when I shouted. This was the only thing I could think of."

Isaac groaned, shifting his right leg to a more comfortable position. "Actually, it's great that you're here. Could you go to the closet in the hall and grab the big foam wedge from the top shelf? I couldn't quite reach it. Oh! And a compression bandage from the medicine cabinet."

"Uh, yeah... Yeah. Just, um, give me a minute." Axel trotted off, and was only gone a handful of minutes before he returned. "Here, are these what you wanted?"

Isaac gave him a strained smile. "Yeah, that's perfect." Taking the bandage from his boyfriend, Isaac wrapped it around his ankle with practiced ease, then stuck the wedge pillow under his leg to elevate it.

Axel watched while the fox bandaged himself, waiting until Isaac finished before asking, "So, what happened?"

Isaac huffed and hung his head. "You wouldn't believe the day I've had, love. I sprained my ankle, blew a tire, had to wait for a tow truck... at least my parents are out of town for a few weeks. Means we can get nice and loud!" The fox looked up and waggled his eyebrows at Axel. "Actually, that might put me in a better mood. Do you wanna...?"

Axel looked away, and Isaac saw him shift uncomfortably from one paw to another. "Well, er, you see... little fox, I... I need to talk to you. About us."

Like the fleeting scent of pine on a fall breeze, Isaac's rising mood vanished from his body. A cold, hard feeling replaced it, somehow making him shiver while his face burned with heat. It must have showed on his face, because Axel's eyes grew wide, then frantic, and he waved his paws in front of himself. "No-no-no, hun, I'm not breaking up with you! I don't want that." Isaac heaved a sigh of relief. Relief that was short-lived, because Axel looked away, placed a paw on the back of his head, and said. "Uh... but I do think we need to spend some time apart."

Isaac's entire body froze in place.

What the fuck?!

-

"... we need to spend some time apart." Axel flinched as he saw Isaac freeze in place; the only movement his hopefully-still-boyfriend made was a slight twitch of the tip of his tail. Axel stood there in silence, afraid to do anything. He'd known it would be a bad time, especially with how shitty Isaac's day had apparently been, but it was best to rip the bandage off and come clean, right?

... Right?

After almost five minutes of pure torture, Axel couldn't stand it any longer. He had to say something. "Isaac? Love, I  - "

"Love?" Isaac's voice came out high and strangled, and his stony face morphed into a mask of rage and pain. "You don't get to waltz in here, and drop a bombshell like that, and keep calling me `Love', asshole!" The fox kicked his legs over the side of his bed, stalked over to Axel (who noticed he was limping rather hard) and jabbed a finger right between his bulky pecs. "Why the fuck would you want to leave me?" Axel's heart leaped into his throat when he saw tears forming in Isaac's eyes. "Was it... was it something I did? Did I screw up? Axel, wh-what's g-going..."

Isaac's face scrunched up, and when he burst into tears, Axel's heart shattered. The puma quickly scooped Isaac into his arms and pressed the diminutive fox against his chest. Axel's "little fox" wailed, pounding his fists against the puma's chest while sobbing and blubbering unintelligible nonsense that Axel guessed were probably supposed to be insults. Axel just held him tight, and eventually, Isaac's arms dropped to his side, and his tears stopped, until the only a fox with tear-stained fur and a bad case of the hiccups remained.

"Isaac, dear-heart, I am so sorry. I promise though, I really, truly don't want to break up with you. Can I please explain?"

"Y-you're an a-ass." Isaac said thickly as he gave Axel a rheumy glare. "Help me back to bed, my ankle is killing me. And get me a tissue."

Axel complied. He tenderly scooped Isaac into his brawny arms, and laid him down again, then brought Isaac an entire box of tissues. When his little fox blew his nose, it made a sound that was much akin to an absurdly large goose, and Axel had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from laughing manically. "So, um, can we talk now?"

Isaac nodded, and Axel took a deep breath to steady himself, perching on the bed next to the fox, as close as he could get without actually touching Isaac. Then he said, "Isaac, we've been dating a few months now, right?"

A slow nod.

"Right. And we cuddle, and kiss, and uh... well, not quite have sex, but we have fun, yeah?"

Another nod.

"Isaac, can you tell me my favorite color?"

Stillness and silence.

Axel rubbed the fox's head, mussing up the carefully styled fur. "We barely know anything about each other. And we fell so hard for each other that I think we forgot to do the `getting to know you' stuff. Then, you got so wrapped up in us that you even refused to send in college applications to schools that I wasn't going to. That's why I think we need some time apart. We're literally crazy for each other. We need to take some time and slow it down. I'm definitely not breaking up with you! It's just a break, so we can sort things out. I'll be staying with my dad for a while, and I'm going to take a break from texting just like, in general, so you might need to call me if it's important. We need to do this, though. I need to get my head pulled back together, and sort out what's a crush and what's genuine love. Really, it's the best idea I could come up with."

Isaac grumbled, glared, then sighed. "I love you."

Silence for a long minute, then Axel looked down and said, "But...?"

Grabbing a second tissue, Isaac sounded another honk before grabbing Axel by the chin and forcing the puma to meet his gaze. Isaac shook his head, saying, "No `buts'. Never." Isaac released the puma and grabbed one of Axel's paws with both of his own. "I always thought it was disingenuous that people, when they were angry or whatever, would say `I love you, but'. So, I swore I'd never say it, because if you really, truly love someone, there are no `buts'. I love you, and you're a huge asshole."

Axel chuckled, wiping a tear of his own from his eye. "I love you, and I think this will be good for us." The puma saw Isaac roll his eyes, but his little fox leaned in anyway and let Axel give him a warm, vice-like hug, while the fox shivered against him.

It took a few minutes for either boy to let go, but eventually, Axel let Isaac lean back onto his pillows in the half-upright position he'd been in when the music was still going. The fox closed his eyes, saying, "So, how much longer do I have you with me?"

Axel counted the days in his head. "3 days, maybe a little longer? My dad's picking me up on Saturday."

"Okay." Isaac inhaled deeply through his nose and blew the breath out through his mouth. "Okay. That's okay. So, if three days is all I have with you, would you just... hold me? Please?"

Axel carefully climbed over Isaac, making sure not to jostle his injured ankle, and Isaac shifted to a supine position. Axel wrapped his brawny arms around Isaac, pulling the fox into him and squeezing tightly. "C'mere, hun. I'll hold you all night long."

And he did.

-
Two Weeks Later
-

Isaac lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling of his room. It had been a little over two weeks - sixteen days, four hours, and twenty-seven minutes, but it's not like he was counting or anything - since he and Axel had hashed out the terms of their break. The fox snorted out a bitter breath and flung an arm over his eyes. The memory of that day floated to the top of Isaac's mind, and he let himself get lost in the last time he'd seen his boyfriend.

Isaac and Axel sat across from each other at the dinner table. Isaac's fingers rapped a rapid rhythm on the table while he fixed his big kitty with an intense stare of concentration. "So," the fox said, his voice measured, "What do we `need' to talk about now?"

Axel rubbed a trembling paw against the back of his neck. "Er, well... I wanted to set up some rules for this break. Honestly, I've been putting this off, but I'm leaving in a few hours, and I couldn't wait anymore."

"Rules?" Isaac blinked a few times, his fingers going still and his tense posture relaxing. "Oh. That actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah. So, uh, what are you thinking?"

"Well, so like, the first rule I'd want to put down is that we can't date anyone else. This isn't me going a roundabout way of breaking up with you, it's just us figuring out who we are without the other person. So, yeah."

Isaac smiled finally, nodding. "Good. I like that one. I honestly was kinda worried that this was you deciding you wanted to break up with me instead."

"Awesome! See, that's a start. And we have to both agree on each rule, too." Axel let out a breath he didn't know he was holding at the sight of Isaac's smile and relaxed a bit as well. "I'm sorry. I should've been more clear this morning; scaring you like that wasn't my intent." He placed his paw over Isaac's. The young puma squeezed, and Isaac loved the fact that his boyfriend's paw completely dwarfed his own. "So, that first one is mine. Do you want to take turns, or...?

The fox nodded. "Yeah that sounds fine. I actually already have a couple I want to put down. My first one would be that you're welcome to come back at any time, no questions asked. I will always be here for you if you need me, and my parents adore you. They'd love to have you."

Axel gave a grunt of acknowledgement. "That means a lot, hun. I appreciate it." He hesitated a moment, chewing a claw, before he said, "I think I don't want you to contact me until I contact you first. Wait-wait-wait, I know, but just hear me out!" Isaac's tail had poofed to a truly massive size, and his ears splayed back as he was about to jump out of his chair. The fox settled a bit, but still vibrated with hurt and barely contained rage.

Axel huffed out a relieved sigh and continued. "Lately, I've been feeling like I'm the only person you talk to. I want you to make some other friends, yeah? Monae likes you, and she can introduce you to more people at school. Or, you can try just talking to people, like at lunch or before homeroom. But you need a support system that doesn't exist only when I'm around, because there's going to be times I can't be there for you, and I want to make sure you're taken care of even when I'm not around."

Isaac begrudgingly admitted that it made sense and agreed to the rule. It went back and forth for a little less than an hour, with Axel writing things down in his neat, careful handwriting. Isaac made a copy, and when Axel left shortly thereafter, Isaac's face felt flushed, and his stomach felt nauseous, but he had a strange sense of calm as well. Like everything might just be all right...

Isaac jumped at the sound of his phone dinging. He dove for it, only to realize it wasn't Axel, but Monae. He'd gone to find her that next Monday to rekindle their friendship. The energetic poodle was happy to do so, and they'd been texting after school nearly every day. Monae agreed with Isaac that Axel's little `arrangement' was really weird, but supposed it made a certain kind of sense. Isaac opened Monae's message to read it.

Monae: "Hey foxy! Happy Thanksgiving! How're you holding up?"

Isaac: "Eh, not so good. I really wish Axel would come to spend Thanksgiving with me, or brought me to his place. But he's still not talking to me."

Monae: "Ouch, yeah, that's rough buddy. Oh, we're about to start cooking, and Dad's got the game on full blast, so I better get down there and help Mom. Text me though! I'll be checking my phone in case you need anything."

Isaac: "Thanks. I'm sure I'll make it somehow."

After dinner, Axel was sitting with his brothers in the living room. Rob had to go to work on some emergency call, but at least he'd gotten to eat all together as a family. Caleb poked him in the side and stared up at his older brother with a raised eyebrow. "So, didja chicken out?"

Axel let out a confused noise, and Ben answered. "You said you were going to invite Isaac over. So either he finally told you to pound sand, or you chickened out."

"Uh..." Axel grimaced, biting his lip. "Well, it's  -  you know, the thing was..." Finally, his shoulders slumped, and he hung his head. "Fine, yeah. I chickened out."

"Axel! Come on!" Caleb full-on slugged him, but the young puma's thirteen-year-old frame didn't even make his massive older brother flinch. "What the fuck! You've  - "

"Language."

Ben chimed in with an uncharacteristic heat in his voice. "Oh, fuck off! Even Dad doesn't care, and we all know it."

"Exactly! And you've been moping for like, four days now. Why won't you just text him?" Caleb pouted, an expression that held a lot less weight with Axel now than it did to Caleb had been 8.

Axel mumbled a curse under his breath, then pointed at Ben. "Just because dad doesn't care, doesn't mean you should be swearing." Then he rounded on Caleb. "And I haven't texted Isaac because he's... he's, uh..." Axel stumbled over his words trailing off. Why haven't I texted him? At first, I wanted to make sure he was making new friends, and I know he's been talking to Monae. I had them change my homeroom class; maybe that was a mistake? The puma shook his head to clear it. "I think... I think I haven't texted him because I'm afraid. What if Isaac finally discovered he's better off without me?"

Caleb had to stand up to smack his brother on the back of the head. "You idiot! You said the whole point of what you're doing is to help him be more independent, and you're scared he might have actually done it? Besides, it's only been two weeks! Isaac's probably as sad and lonely as you are."

"I'm not  - "

"Yes, you are! You burned the stuffing, for God's sake! How do you screw that up, it's just wet bread." Axel opened his mouth to argue more, but Caleb bopped him on the nose, making his eyes water.

"Hey!"

"Nope. You're being an idiot. Go. Text. Him. Go! Scat!" It took both Caleb and Ben to haul their brother off the couch, and then they started shoving him towards his room.

"Okay, enough already!" Axel couldn't help but laugh, bringing a smile to the twin's faces. "I'll go."

Satisfied, the twins pulled out a deck of playing cards and started playing `Slap' while Axel hustled into his room and shut the door. Picking up his phone, his head jerked back when Axel saw two text messages from Isaac. "But he said he wouldn't text... he broke the rules. Damn it!"

Axel paced in his room for a while, fuming. How dare he break the rules! Isaac knew better, he KNEW better! With a sigh, Axel plopped himself down onto his bed. Eventually, he got curious enough to actually open the messages.

Isaac: "I know I'm not supposed to text, but I really missed you today. This would've been our first holiday together, and I was looking forward to it. Sorry about texting, again.

Isaac: "I still love you."

Axel stared at the words, heart thumping in his chest. Well, he wasn't supposed to text me, but this is pretty harmless. I wonder if I should text him back.

Axel smiled and began composing a text. Then he deleted it. "Too sappy." Started again. "No, that's gonna sound like I'm dying." Once more. "Ugh, I shouldn't be flirty, he's probably not going to be in the mood for that."

This continued until the small hours of the morning, right until his phone died. With a sigh, he plugged it in, he gave up and went to sleep.

Late one night on the second Friday of December, Isaac startled awake when his phone dinged several times in a row. Rubbing his eyes blearily, he rolled over to check who had messaged him. When he saw Axel's name, his jaw hit the floor. Fumbling with his phone in his haste, it took him a few tries to unlock it so he could read the texts.

Axel: "Hey. Sry I didn't text. Didn't know what to say."

Axel: "I think we still need space."

Axel: "But, sorry I missed Thanksgiving. I love you, too."

Isaac's face grew hot, and his eyes got misty. "He says he still loves me... so why do we have to be apart? I don't get it..." Isaac's head plopped back onto the pillow, but it took him a couple hours to get back to sleep.

When the lithe vulpine finally woke up, the lack of sleep hit him like a sack of lead potatoes. Head spinning, he stumbled into the bathroom for a shower, then stumped his way down the stairs for breakfast. His mom was already fixing bacon and eggs with toast (rye, which was Hugh's favorite, and she and her son didn't mind it). Eyes fixed on the pan in front of her, she called out, "Morning, sweetie!"

"M'rng" The word rolled off Isaac's dry, thick tongue like molasses off a duck's back.

Carol turned to look at her son. "Wow. You look terrible."

"Thanks, mom." Isaac laid on the sarcasm hard and heavy, with a roll of his eyes for good measure.

"Ah-ah-ah! You will not sass me, young man!" Taking the last of the bacon out of her skillet, she loaded up a plate for each of them and set them at the table. Isaac looked down, flushed, and Carol sighed. Ruffling her son's fur, she said, "Okay, okay. Don't give me that hangdog look. You want to talk about it?"

Shaking his head, Isaac pulled a piece of his toast off and dipped in the runny egg. Taking a bite, he whispered, "Thanks for breakfast, mom. Love you."

Carol beamed. "I love you too, kiddo."

Hugh eventually joined them, and when he started questioning Isaac, Carol put a paw on his shoulder and softly shook her head. Isaac didn't talk the rest of breakfast, but he gave both his parents a hug goodbye before getting into the car and driving to school.

The day went by mostly uneventfully, aside from the spider that dropped from the ceiling onto the muzzle of his gym teacher, the brawny panther named Mrs. Devereaux (her scream reverberated throughout the gym, and a few teachers popped in to check on her). At lunch, Isaac picked a table in the corner where nobody was sitting. It was quiet until Monae arrived with a familiar golden retriever and set down their lunch trays.

"Isaac! Zacky! My man!" The fox glared, but Monae shot him a pair of finger guns and a cheesy smirk, and Isaac couldn't help but laugh. "Ahh, gotcha! You know you can't resist me!"

The pair sat down to eat, and Isaac turned to the retriever. "Hey, you look familiar. Have we met?"

The boy choked on a bite of sloppy joe, gulped some water, and looked away while his ears flushed. "Uh, yeah. I'm Dale? I uh... I kissed you at the party a while back?"

"Oh!" The memory came flooding back, and Isaac blushed as well. "Ah-hah, uh, well... It's good to see you again?"

"You too," Dale murmured, and busied himself with a big bite of his sandwich.

The silence thickened in the air between the three until Monae clapped her paws together and said, "All right! This is su-u-uper awkward! Dale, do the thing!" She clapped him on the back, eliciting a sharp bark of surprise from the boy.

Dale sighed and buried his face in his paws. "Ugh...Okay. Isaac, are you and Axel going to the Winter Dance tonight?"

Isaac frowned. "No. Axel didn't ask me. I don't even know if he's going to be there either, and - "

"He'll be there." Dale said confidently. "I'm, uh... super good friends with a guy on the football team, and he told me Axel's going - Oh! But he doesn't have a date!" Dale hastened to add as Isaac's fur puffed up.

"Okay..." Isaac said through gritted teeth. "So why are you asking me if I'm going? Clearly he doesn't want me there, if he didn't even ask me to go with him."

Monae gave a wicked smile. "That's the fun part, hun! We're going to go with you, and we're going to make you so gorgeous he won't be able to resist! He'll have to come see you!"

Dale nodded emphatically. "It'll be fun! And even if he doesn't come over, you'll have fun with Monae and I, right? Besides, Mina and Chelsea will be there, too; they just have a different lunch period, so they couldn't be here right now."

Isaac arched an eyebrow. "So what you're saying is... makeover?"

Dale and Monae replied at the same time, excitement glittering in their eyes.

"Makeover!"

Just a couple minutes past 9:00 pm, Axel and Colt walked into the gymnasium. The big floodlights were off, and LEDs in shades of bright sky blue and deep cobalt lit the room instead. Music from the best DJ the school could pay for thumped through the space, although there weren't many people there yet. The moment they got through the doors, Axel was scanning the crowd for any trace of Isaac. "You said he was going to be here, but I don't see him at all!"

"Dude, you're blocking the doors! Move!" Colt shoved his towering friend further in. "Grab some punch. He'll be here, I got a guy on the inside. I still don't get why you couldn't just ask him to the dance."

"I think... no, he's definitely mad at me!" As they drew closer to the drink table, the music grew louder, and Axel had to shout to be heard over the din.

"So he hasn't texted you in a couple days. Big deal!"

"I can't risk losing him over a dance. I'll just, like, play it cool when he gets here. Yeah!"

Colt rolled his eyes, patted his friend on the back, and the pair took up a spot on the far end of the gym.

The minutes dragged by agonizingly slowly, and Axel started getting restless. He'd regretted wearing a suit, but Colt had talked him into it. A powder blue jacket with matching slacks, a white button-up shirt, and a black bowtie and formal shoes were, apparently, just what he should wear to get Isaac to talk to him. Axel noticed a shoelace had come untied, so he stooped to take care of it. He had just finished when he heard Colt gasp, and breathlessly the badger said, "Oh, holy fuck, Ax. Ax, he's here. Ax, you gotta see this!"

Axel shot to his feet like a rocket, and followed Colt's pointing finger to the doorway where Isaac had just walked in, and  -

"Oh, shit..."

Isaac was wearing a gauzy, loose shirt that was studded all over with little shimmery bits that caught the light and made him sparkle in the dim room. It was somehow the exact shade of blue that Axel was wearing, and the puma spared only a moment to marvel at the coincidence before his eyes traveled south, and his tongue went numb. The fox was wearing black pants that looked like they'd been airbrushed on, showing off every ripple and cleft of his thickly muscled legs. Actually, Axel thought, his legs looked even stronger and tighter than normal... and that's when he saw the shoes.

"Is he wearing high heels?"

"Uh, yeah. Fuckin' wow. I think he's wearing makeup, too."

Axel looked again as Isaac turned his head, scanning the room as the puma had done earlier, and Axel caught the glint of two silver ear cuffs on his right ear and the shimmer of something glittery that highlighted his cheekbones. They look like they could cut glass. Damn! His boyfriend also wore white eyeliner, swept out into a point that he recalled his former girlfriends calling a cat eye.

The puma stared, his jaw hanging open, unable to look away from the glittery, shimmery beauty that was his boyfriend. Colt slugged him on the shoulder. "Man, you better go talk to him, or I'm gonna shoot my shot. That man is fine with a capital `F'." The badger pointed to a few people out on the floor. "And it's not just me. Look at all the looks he's getting!"

"D-Don't you d-dare." Axel stammered out. "Oh my God, he's so beautiful. And look at him move, he's practically gliding across the floor. I didn't know he could do that, how does he do that?"

"Stop talking to me, you ass! Go talk to him!" Colt shot him a warning look.

"I... I can't. I'm too scared. Oh man, he's so out of my league." Axel wrung his hands, his knees shaking.

"Oh, that's fine. It looks like they're coming over here."

"WHAT." Axel's breath started coming in short, shallow bursts, and he let out an involuntary whine. "Shit, no, go distract them! I'm not ready and  -  crap! They're almost here! Is my fur okay? I don't stink or anything, right? Could you  - "

"Dude, I'm not gonna smell you!" Colt looked away and grumbled, "Okay, maybe... Nope! Not going there tonight. You're fine, you've already been dating for months. It'll be  - "

"Y'all made it!" Monae, dressed in a black and silver sequined dress that hugged her close, leaned forward and gave Axel a big hug. Craning her neck up, the chocolate-furred poodle whispered, "Whaddaya think? Did I nail it, or did I kill it?" She stepped back before the puma could respond.

The golden lab in a white suit with a powder blue button-down and tie stuck out his hand. "Hey! I'm  - "

"Dale, right? From the party?" Axel extended a paw to shake, and the retriever clasped it tightly. "Hey man! Are you here with someone?"

"Uh, no. Not tonight." He cast a glance at Colt before both snapped their eyes to different points in the room. It happened so fast Axel almost didn't catch it. Huh.

Axel looked around. There was a very, very important someone who was missing from the introductions. "Where's... where's Isaac?"

Monae shrugged. "He said he was going to get something to drink. There's a pretty big line. You should go see him!" She delivered that last bit with heavy emphasis, then jerked her head towards the drink table for good measure. All three of them stared at Axel expectantly.

"Oh, er, I dunno about that. It doesn't seem like he wants to see me, and  - "

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Monae and Colt threw their paws up in the air, and Colt said, "Man, come on! You can't be this dense! And we went to all this trouble to get you two in the same place at the same time, too.

"You did?" Axel blinked rapidly a few times. "Why?"

"Because Isaac feels like he's losing you, and he wants to you make the first move." Dale said matter-of-factly. "He misses you terribly, and I promise he's not mad." Dale hesitated a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I gotta say, dude, if I were him, I'd have left you at the start of this nonsense. And if I were you, I never would've let that prince of a fox go. He's incredible, he's sexy, and most of all, he's brilliant. You're treating him like crap, and it hurts me to see him so depressed every damn day because he still only has eyes for you." The retriever grabbed a stunned Axel by the lapels, and yanked him down to his eye-level. "You need to get your head out of your ass, man up, and go talk to Isaac right the fuck now."

Axel swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry as the desert. "Uh, uh, uh... A drink. I need a drink. Excuse me."

The line at the drink table was insane, and he'd heard a group of seniors talking about spiking the punch, so Isaac decided to sit in one of the chairs that the chaperones brought out. As he sat, back straight, chest slightly thrust out to stand out from the crowd, a gaggle of girls in slinky dresses came to stand in front of him. Oh, great. And I can't ask them to move. What would I say? "Hey, I'm trying to seduce my own damn boyfriend?" Isaac relaxed, leaning back into the chair, and sighed. Maybe this was a stupid idea. I look ridiculous, I'm covered in makeup, these shoes are hell to walk in... though they make my ass look insane. Heh.

Ten o'clock rolled around sooner than he'd thought, and Isaac got progressively more and more depressed with every passing minute. The dance is gonna be over soon, and he hasn't even come to look for me. Maybe... maybe he really doesn't care about me. Oh, fuck me... that stings. The fox had left a few times to get a drink of water. Or use the restroom. Or mope in the hallway. For almost half an hour, he'd stood by the door in four-inch heels, posing for pictures with some of the other partygoers. Isaac had also turned down everyone who asked him to dance, of which there was a shocking number. Well, it was shocking to Isaac; nobody else on the dance floor seemed surprised. In two hours, he'd had to turn down twelve girls, and to his muted delight, three guys. One of them was on the wrestling team, and he'd looked quite limber. Isaac almost went with him, but he knew there was only one guy who'd do tonight. And he was nowhere to be found.

Isaac's eyes began to sting, and he sniffled. Oh no. No, no, no. You will not have a meltdown here. Not fucking here.

Slipping out of his perilous footwear, he dashed to the back of the sound stage, slipped past the chaperone guarding the open hallway to the roof access, and climbed.

Axel cast his eyes about the dance floor. He tried to look around the gyrating, graceless throng, looking for the only person who mattered. Finally, he spotted a familiar face, and pushed his way through to Monae.

"Hey, big guy!" Monae giggled, then hiccupped, and Axel could smell the faintest trace of alcohol on her breath. "Did your dance with Isaac not go well?"

Axel growled, "It hasn't gone at all! He wasn't at the punch line, and I've spent the last hour and a half stalking the gym like a creep looking for him! I can't find him at all."

"Oh!" Monae's eyes lit up, glittering with glee. "I think he's on the roof! I saw him going behind the sound stage a minute ago, but he hasn't  -  hey!"

Axel dashed off, leaving Monae mid-sentence, and nearly tackling Principal Benson to the floor in his haste. He turned to mouth the word "Sorry!", but never stopped moving toward the back of the gym. Finally, he found the hallway, but had to stop when an imposing sheepdog stood from his chair and barred the way.

"Mr. Lopez! Please, I need to get by. Isaac's on the roof, and I need to see him. I have to see him, it's really important!"

The teacher shook his shaggy head. "I don't think so. I haven't seen him go by, and I've been here all night. Besides, it's going to be dangerous up there. It's started snowing."

"Mr. Lopez, please! I'll be careful, and if he's not up there I'll come right back, I just..." Axel's lip gave the slightest quiver. "You don't understand, I need to see him. I've been avoiding him all night, I think I really upset him, and I really don't want to lose him. Please, please, please, sir, I need to  - "

The sheepdog held up a paw, silencing the puma. "Okay, okay. I need to use the restroom. Axel, could you watch the hallway for, say, 15 minutes?"

"Wha-?" Axel blinked once, twice, then the lightbulb clicked on, and he nodded vigorously. "Mmhmm! Absolutely! You can count on me."

The young puma bounced on the balls of his feet as he watched his former homeroom teacher walk away. The minute he was out of eyesight, Axel tore down the hallway with all the speed he could muster, and climbed the ladder with record speed. Throwing open the door, he cried, "Isaac! Isaac,  baby, you up here?"

The wind had picked up, and the dusting of snow that had collected on the rooftop danced around, making a little whirlwind. Axel waited for the longest five minutes of his life, but heard nothing. He was about to turn and leave when he heard a faint sniffle coming from behind the HVAC unit. "Isaac?" Axel moved as quickly as the thin sheet of ice on the roof allowed and whirled around the corner.

There was Isaac! Finally! Axel opened his mouth to say something, but the words died in his throat when he took a closer look at his little fox.

Isaac was leaning against the air conditioning unit, which the school had covered for the winter. He'd pulled his knees to his chest, and Axel could tell he'd been crying from the smeared eyeliner and the wobbly lower lip. He was shivering violently, his gossamer shirt doing nothing to help protect him from the cold.

The musclebound puma whipped off his suit jacket, holding it out to Isaac. "Isaac, hun, you're going to freeze to death! Put this on, and we can go back inside and  - "

"Why?" Isaac's teeth were chattering, but his words were sharp, bitter, and as biting as the wind that swirled around them.

"Why... why what? It's freezing, that's why! Come on, let's go before you  - "

"What's going to be different, huh? What's going to change? You've been the one freezing me out for weeks! Then, I came here hoping that you'd notice me tonight, and you'd want to come talk to me, and maybe we'd even share our first dance  -  God! I was so excited to get to dance with you, and you, you..." Isaac screwed his face up and slammed his fists against the cold ground. "You never showed! I honestly don't even know why you bothered coming up here to find me."

Axel rocked back with the weight of Isaac's words. I hurt him... I hurt him so bad... Sitting next to Isaac, he draped his jacket over the fox's shoulders and spared a moment to smile at how it dwarfed his diminutive boyfriend. Isaac grumbled, but he pulled the jacket closer around himself and allowed Axel to gingerly place an arm around him.

"Isaac, I... I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong; I'm the one who screwed up. I was a coward; My brain convinced me you were angry at me (and I guess you kind of were), so I was trying to give you space to decompress. Dale finally convinced me to find you, but when I went to find you at the drinks table, you were already gone. I swear, little fox, I've spent every minute since then trying to find you."

Isaac sniffled, and Axel gave him a tight squeeze that made the fox yip. He finally tucked his head against Axel's chest and sighed. "I really hate this separation thing we're doing."

The young puma nodded. "I know you do."

"Are you going to keep making me do this shit?"

"No." Axel gave him another squeeze. "I can't hurt you like this anymore. I might not move back in right away, because I still want to get to know you better, but... I won't push you away anymore. That's a promise. We'll talk. Every day, we'll talk. We'll go on dates and I'll hold your hand, kiss you breathless, and get to know who you really are." The puma gave a pause for a moment, then sheepishly added, "If you'll let me, that is. I understand if you wouldn't."

Isaac sighed. His shivering had mostly abated, due both to the heavier jacket and his personal space heater of a boyfriend. Boyfriend... hah. Isaac looked up into Axel's eyes. "I love you, and you're the biggest asshole I know. Yes, you prick, you can take me on dates and talk to me. That's like, dating 101." The fox rummaged in his pocket, extricating his phone from the tight fabric with some difficulty, and checked the time. "Huh. The dance is almost over; they'll be cleaning up now." His eyes stung again, and he chuckled wetly, a wry smile on his muzzle. "We missed the whole dance. Better luck next time, huh?"

Gears were turning in Axel's mind, and he spoke slowly as he put together a plan. "Okay, yeah, the dance is almost over, but... Hang on! Stand up with me. Come on, come on!" The puma impatiently pulled his slow-moving boyfriend up, then pulled out his phone. Tapping on the screen, he launched his music app and started typing.

"Axel, come on, it's cold. Whatever you're doing, make it quick. I'm freezing here  - "

Isaac stilled, listening to a song that was now playing on Axel's phone. He swayed to the slow, purposeful beat, eyes half-lidded. "Oh, this is my  - "

"Your wedding song, right?" Axel's eyes burned with passion, and he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Hitting one knee (and instantly regretting it as cold slush seeped into his pants), he took one of the slender fox's paws in his two large mitts and pressed his lips to the back of the fox's hand. "Isaac, I've been an idiot, and I'm so sorry. May I have this dance?"

The fox's mouth dropped open, his eyes widened, and they grew glossy in the harsh light. Axel thought his boyfriend might cry again, but that didn't happen. Instead, he threw his head back and cackled like a madman.

The puma frowned. "Hey! I'm trying to be sweet here!"

"It's okay, it's  - haha! Whoo, okay. I'm okay. -  Oh my God, Axel, stand up. You're going to ruin your nice pants."

"I don't care about the fucking pants," Axel grumbled, but he stood anyway. "Sorry for trying to set the mood."

Isaac reached up and flicked Axel in the nose, which made him sneeze. "Stop the pity party. I really am thrilled you remembered that song. That's why I laughed; I was happy. So, so happy!" The fox wrapped his arms around Axel's waist and swayed back and forth in time to the music. " But if you're put on this song to dance with me, you know what you're going to have to do, right?"

Axel pulled Isaac close and swayed with him. "I think so. But why don't you tell me anyway? I kinda want to hear you say it."

His little fox rested his orange and white head on Axel's chest. "It means you gotta marry me one day. You're stuck now. I won't be able to dance to this song with anyone else."

Axel lifted his little fox into the air and planted a fierce, crushing kiss on his boyfriend's lips. He spun them around in circles, breaking off and kissing over and over again, until the fox was panting for breath. Lowering him to the ground, he pressed their foreheads together as they found their rhythm and swayed again. As the last notes of the song faded, Axel brushed his lips across Isaac's ear, and whispered in a voice that was as soft as a featherbed and as fervent as a prayer.

"Baby, I swear that one day, I will marry you."

Isaac nuzzled into Axel's neck as a slow smile spread across his muzzle. "You really promise, big kitty?"

"I promise, little fox. You're going to be mine. Forever and ever."

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Space to Breathe: An Axel and Isaac Story

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