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SWEETMISSION's Gallery (48)

tower & wolf

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by SWEETMISSION

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Eli Crilly

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He's no longer wishing.

Keywords

male 1,181,237, cub 271,084, wolf 191,372, rabbit 137,213, monster 25,088, knife 3,413

Details

Type: Picture/Pinup

Published: 1 month, 2 weeks ago

Rating: General

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7 favorites

9 comments

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9 Comments on this Submission

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StupidSquirrel

1 month, 2 weeks ago

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I'm really enjoying these. I think they're hella cool and eerie in a way I can't really describe. i like the stance with the knife. He looks like a boss youd find in an rpg that would absolutely wreck your shit

SWEETMISSION

1 month, 2 weeks ago

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@ StupidSquirrel

He probably got inspired by some of the edgier background videos in his DDR games.

When I was a kid I was all over Xepher's music video.

lizord

1 month ago

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I feel as if I am missing something, due to the most recent submission. So I need to ask about this now. Was this not just a dream of Eli's? If it is something he dreamed of..no, even if it was a conscious desire, shouldn't there be some hesitation about being more like the person who abused him? I can't really say how the event might get translated in a child's mind, but I thought it was a safe assumption that "being a wolf" was directly linked to "being like the one who hurt him". Maybe "wolf" is merely a metaphor for power or somesuch, but I'd still expect the connection to nag at him. ...though I can imagine potential plot twists featuring his friend that might explain it in the future.

SWEETMISSION

1 month ago

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@ lizord

To be honest, the urge to draw something cool (or at least something Eli would think is cool) came before the canon. Y'know, expressing the edgy middle schooler feelings now since I couldn't back then lol.

But your assumption is on point. Like any boy his age, Eli occasionally fantasizes about having some secret great power like his favorite TV heroes and manifests it as a wolf or wolf-like creature because the only irl exposure he's had to overwhelming power is Voight, a wolf himself. He's perceptive enough to know that such power exists but is not innately evil, but at the same time he can't visualize it anything else but a scary, monstrous being. Rabbits are weak creatures that have to rely on cunning and trickery to survive. Wouldn't it be great to not have to? To either have some wolf-like guardian protecting you or outright be one yourself? He was quick to adopt the idea, only later fearing that he could turn out like Voight if not mindful.

I've brought up the topic of being "moon-made" in a few pics, which I admit is mostly an aesthetics thing because the moon has been a thematic presence throughout my entire life (and not just because of the wolfaboo phase, mind you. My bf does tarot and The Moon shows up consistently whenever I get read). Wolves, dogs, cats, rabbits, they're all tied to it in someway, be it being creatures of darkness or through mythology. When presented with the idea, it makes a lot of sense to him. He prefers the night, he feels safest in small, dark places, and sometimes feels like he's not of this world at all. If anything it's easier to accept than, "you're not normal, people think you're weird" (something his mother has said to him verbatim more than once).

It all boils down to wondering if things could have happened differently if he'd been born as something else. Like with the last pic. If he were a wolf would Voight still have done what he did? If he did, would Eli been able to stop him? Is he even right to think this because he's not a wolf? When you're a kid you're told everything happens for a reason, but rarely told what those reasons are, so you have to fill in the blanks. For Eli that often results in him thinking things happen because he's not normal and could be 'better', even if that means having to be something he realistically can't.

Of course this all kinda begs the question of how species factors into this world when it's otherwise just regular human people with animal skins. I'm always torn between making anthro characters reflect their species and just humans-but-not. Removed from the aesthetics of it all, Eli is basically thinking, "man I wish I were a big tough superhero guy like on TV", no wolves involved.

lizord

1 month ago

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@ SWEETMISSION

Very informative.  I think it's fine to put cool before canon, I just wasn't sure how involved you were in producing a specific end product.  And the middle school cool asthetic is great, it doesn't show up as much as it should in general (I had to be introduced to the idea through the japanese analogue of "chuuni" that shows up in some anime, though it seems exaggerated there).  It makes me jealous over fantasies, as I saw very little of that sort of thing in real life.

I did not pick up on the association between tarot and the moon, though I probably should have because I couldn't think of another association for tower.  The idea of "moon-made" has a mysterious allure to it, so I hope you push it further somehow.

Thanks for explaining Eli's mindset.  I was..mm, concerned that Eli might be going down a certain life path that he might regret.  The key point appears to be that Eli wisely/luckily disconnected the ideas of power and evil, while amusingly leaving power connected with monsters and fear.

I'm sure Voight would have gone for that cub action even without the easy bunny target; wolf Eli has the looks for being targeted in the same manner.  But I do recognize the thought pattern you're putting in there, because it makes perfect sense for Eli to imagine otherwise.

What you say at the end there about idolizing superheros is actually why I dismissed the idea of "wolf" being what it is for Eli.  My thought was that he'd be imagining himself as a superhero and transforming to unleash his power and stop nefarious bad guys or something.  I could believe that Eli simply fell into the idea of "wolf" first, and struggled to attach it to the (generally non-threatening in appearance) heros he liked.  ..Though looking at it another way, maybe Eli's mind couldn't register the possibility of a hero being sufficient, because most of those hero shows don't touch on things that are truly dangerous or frightening.  It becomes difficult as the strands of fact and fiction are woven together so tightly, but luckily you are willing to reveal the boundary of the canon.

Eli's mother remains comically unlikeable, I see.  Even if she was technically not lying.  I'd like to see her do something nice/motherly for Eli sometime so she's not as easy to write off as bad - deny the audience an easy scapegoat, so to speak.  (you did say that Eli came to sympathize with her later in his life, so there must have been some good)  Though, at the same time, Eli's life is starting to look way better with the addition of a friend, so, I dunno.  Wasn't the type of meta talk I intended on right now, so I'll put it on hold.

Personally, doing humans-but-not is plenty fine.  If you start making anthro characters reflect their species you'll have to spend time working around the stereotyping, which might just distract from getting the art out.  There's stuff that can be done with it like metaphors, but it might pull attention away from the parts that actually matter.

SWEETMISSION

1 month ago

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@ lizord

"	Thanks for explaining Eli's mindset. I was..mm, concerned that Eli might be going down a certain life path that he might regret. The key point appears to be that Eli wisely/luckily disconnected the ideas of power and evil, while amusingly leaving power connected with monsters and fear.

Mmhm. The truth is he fears upsetting people a great deal. It keeps him considerate of others (to a point. He can be insensitive due to ignorance. He's just a kid after all.), but also keeps him passive, even in the face of mistreatment. Even if he did have the abstract power he craves, he isn't sure how he would apply it, ergo it's easier to imagine himself as a different person entirely. It takes a long time to realize you have to use your own power to attain happiness, regardless of how small it is. I entered adulthood hoping thinking things would never get better cause I was the "wrong" kind of person, but when I actively sought out and engaged with people that cared about me, it was like night and day.

I do want to do something more positive with Eli's mom, I'm just waiting for the right idea. It's tough to strike a balance between making a life-inspired character and outright trauma dumping.

It's not like she's evil after all, she keeps him fed and works hard at her terrible job to keep them above the poverty line, but they rarely have anything to actually bond over. If you ask, he'd recall some of his happiest memories of her being times they just kinda...existed in the same room together. There were times he'd suffer being her therapist, times she'd suffer his infodumping about some character he doodled, but those nights where they would just do their own thing near each other were worth it to him. Not particularly exciting, but peaceful at least. (Plus, if Voight weren't so good at keeping his shenanigans secret she would 100% rip his throat out.)

I can't say for certain what I'll do with Robin at the moment. I try to keep the art somewhat true-to-life (when it's not overtly fantasy like this) and I did a handful of equally weirdo friends, but I never saw them outside school. I feel at some point the gallery will be split into cope art vs. storytelling.

lizord

1 month ago

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@ SWEETMISSION

"	I actively sought out and engaged with people that cared about me

ughh I hate having to ask this kind of question in public, but: how? I don't get it. You make it sound like there is a supply of such people out there, waiting. It just seems like a luck factor to me. Is there supposed to be some trick to the act of seeking?

SWEETMISSION

1 month ago

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@ lizord

Ah, I admit it's hard and luck can be a factor. It happened for me cause I had the chance to join an online music collective, one of the people of which added me to an unrelated chatroom where I met the love of my life, and from there I just kinda made friends with his friends. And even that was kind of a miracle cause I was hesitant to talk to new people, but at the same time didn't want to be rude to the ones being nice to me, so I buckled down and said "fuck it, I'll talk to this guy and see what happens." Now we live together and he's treated me better than any of my family.

I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm not really a good authority on this cause it was entirely by chance. At the time I was a total NEET that only ever interacted with people on the internet.

The only thing I can say for sure is the old adage of finding ways to put yourself out there and take the chance rings true. Even if that's just joining small groups on the internet. You never know who you'll bond with.

lizord

1 month ago

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Edited 1 month ago by Owner

@ SWEETMISSION

Hey, don't downplay it, you had a rough start. I'm basically NEET mode over here so I don't consider myself to have much different of a starting point from what you say. I guess I was just hoping you had some sort of trick for it. Setting a high bar for you there, I guess. I'm glad it worked out for you so well. And I'm glad you had more to say than the usual "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" philosophy I receive.

By the way, I do hope to hear some more music from you. It's how I came across your profile in the first place. Though it seems like you're trying to keep it strictly related to your current 'sona/story.

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