Deja-Vu was a unique looking sheep. He had light but somewhat muted purple wool that covered him from his toes to his head except for his hands. But when you got to his long ponytails, they became a swirly candy cane pattern of the same purple, and a much lighter shade of the same wool, which could have been easily mistaken for gray. And this color was the same on his hands.
Deja-Vu's passion was being a pictomancer. The art he created was literally brought to life. He was a pictomancer by choice and an adventurer by trade, but it didn't help him when he moved to his new home, and was forced to put his adventuring career on hold.
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Deja-Vu lived in an old house -- one that creaked, shuddered, and moaned... not unlike himself, immensely gravid as he was. As he lumbered downstairs, the wood creaked under his leaden steps in protest.
But it?s not like Deja-Vu asked to become so gravid! His belly was like a boulder, a mass of pale stretched flesh that required him to heft it with both hands. It?s a monstrous thing, even when its occupants are calm... See, this place was once home to a large and prosperous family, until they went mysteriously missing.
The place was cheap precisely because it had a reputation for being haunted. But Deja-Vu didn?t believe in those silly superstitions! At least until he woke up the first morning in the house, to find himself impossibly pregnant.
It?s been a year since that day, and he hasn?t grown an inch. Good thing too, he's already cumbersome as is. But there?s no indication his occupants will leave anytime soon. It?s not like his belly has dropped.
Maybe Deja-Vu was missing something, must do something more to continue the process. But in spite of how sudden it was, and how hard it was to adjust to, he came to embrace his unusual pregnancy, savored it even.
Even when Deja-Vu's occupants railed against the confines of their fleshy prison, stretching and warping his skin like it was latex. It was hard not to get aroused, and fortunately they always tucker themselves out eventually.
But how much longer will this go on? Deja-Vu had no idea, and no leads as to when. He needed to find answers and solutions, asap.
-
Deja-Vu waddled himself to the address listed on the postcard. The travel was long and arduous, but he had the assistance of some street art of his to carry his belly which was as wide and tall as an extra-large bean bag chair. Five quickly drawn little goats with imp-like tails wearing crude clown makeup, held his monstrous stomach as the three walked down the street.
Deja-Vu held the postcard close to his eyes as he looked at his GPS on his phone. On the card was a cozy looking home with a light drizzle of rain falling around it. A single lamppost shone light on the house, capturing its rustic beauty. He pulled the postcard down from his view to reveal a beach house shining in the blinding sunlight. ``Well now this just feels like false advertising.'' He felt a grumble and movement in his wide hefty stomach. ``Oh well. Gotta at least give it a try right?''
The sheep waddled to the steps, and turned himself around and climbed up the stairs backwards. The five goats held onto his belly at an angle while he knocked. He had to wait a moment before the door finally opened, only to reveal a happy and perky looking rabbit wearing all black. ``Hiy- Oh my gosh!'' Exclaimed the rabbit while Deja-Vu chuckled. The rabbit looked at the sight before her of the sheep having his back to her. ``Huh. Uh, what can I do for you!''
``Hello.'' Said the sheep with a nod. ``My name is Deja-Vu. I emailed you about the pregnancy issue.''
The rabbit cocked her head. ``Oh. I was... expecting a...''
``Someone that didn't have a pregnant belly the size of an adult family?'' Laughed Deja-Vu.
``Er. Well, yeah.''
``I get that a lot. I don't mind explaining the history but it gets pretty wacky.''
``Uh. Okay... Come on in.'' The rabbit pulled back the door and stood there waiting for the sheep to enter, but he didn't budge. ``I said you can come in.''
Deja-Vu raised an eyebrow and smiled. ``If you say so.'' He started to walk backwards, only to immediately be stopped by the doorframe. ``Looks like your home isn't very big belly friendly.''
The rabbit's face flushed. ``Uh right.''
``Don't worry. I'll fix it.'' Deja-Vu pulled out his paint brush and drew a large circle around the door frame. Once he finished his circle, he added some quick door hinges. Once it was all done, the paint came to life, and the walls turned with the hinges, creating a spherical entry.
``My house!'' Exclaimed the rabbit.
``Don't worry. Just get a hose and douse it with water. It'll get fixed.'' Deja-Vu started to walk back through the door. His stomach still squished through the door frame, and sighed with relief once it got through. ``I knew I should have made it more spherical.''
The rabbit watched as the sheep waddled through, and couldn't help but notice the five helpers carrying the belly. She meekly waved at them, only to get bleeted at by them. ``So, how do you think I can help?'' Said the rabbit as she attempted to close the front wall and door with all the new hinges.
Deja-Vu patted his belly, causing it to slightly jiggle and jostle. ``So this bad boy here has some creatures of some sort, and I want them out. It's been really cramping my adventuring vibes you know? And saw that you're a witch and thought you might be able to help.''
``Well, I have books with spells and stuff but I'm mainly a clairvoyant. So I-``
``Perfect! Then do you think you can find me a spell to get rid of this belly?''
The rabbit's ears drooped back and her eyes darted around. ``I-er, might have one. I think a book of mine has a teleportation spell or something. Maybe that could work?''
``Sounds good to me!''
``But, I've never used it on a... fetus? What's in your belly anyway?''
``Even I'm not 100% sure.''
``Right... well, I could try. But I can't guarantee the results you?re looking for.''
``Look miss... Ruby right?'' Said Deja-Vu, and the rabbit nodded. ``I'll take whatever I can get. Plus if it's worse, I get a good story out of right?''
``Suuuuuuuuuuure. Follow me.'' Ruby turned around and walked through a nearby door, only to notice that Deja-Vu wasn't following. ``Are you coming?''
The sheep just held both hands out in an obvious fashion to display his massive belly, which wouldn't have fit through the door.
``Oh. Right. Uh, how bout I just bring the materials to you.''
``Nah. That's a lot of effort. I'll just draw a bigger door like before.''
``Wait! Not my-`` Before Ruby could stop Deja-Vu, he painted the wall again, making for a wider and better door this time. Her jaw dropped. ``...inner walls.''
``Don't worry.'' Said Deja-Vu as he put away his brush. ``Water will fix it.'' And he started walking into the next room.
``But I don't want to water my indoor walls...'' After looking at the fixer upper and potential mold problem, she walked into the room with Deja-Vu.
As the sheep entered the room, he was greeted to a more modern look at what he had imagined a witch's spellcasting room would look like. There were nice shelves all around filled with books that have been clearly used due to the status of their spines. There was a small cauldron but it was on a gas stove top instead of a fireplace, and a vent above it taking in all the vapors. Shelves were placed against the wall stacked with odd ingredients that were in nicely clear plastic jars with airtight seals on top of them. There was a small dining table towards the back that had a placemat ready for someone to dine at.
Ruby walked over to her cauldron and began to stir. ``Were you working on a potion already for this pregnancy?'' Deja-Vu asked.
The rabbit turned her head in confusion. ``What? No, this is just my soup.'' She reached over and grabbed a bowl, and started to scoop soup into it.
``Why do you have soup in your spellcasting chambers?'' The goats bleeted in agreement.
``Because this is my kitchen?'' Said Ruby.
``You... you do cooking in the same room as your spells?''
``Again, I'm a clairvoyant. I don't usually do spells. Plus this soup helps calm the nerves. You want some?''
Deja-Vu raised his finger ready to protest, but shut his mouth and looked at his summoned goats who were all nodding. He shrugged. ``Yeah I'll take some. Can you also get some for my assistants?'' The goats all looked at Ruby and gave a small bleet.
``If they're your drawings, won't the soup make them disappear?''
``Nah. I made these little buggars with paint that requires a word command to make them go away.''
``Okay...'' Ruby started getting soup ready, then it dawned on her. ``Hey wait a second! So you could have used that paint on my house instead of-``
The goats bleeted impatiently and Ruby hurriedly got the soup.
After a short slurping of good food, Ruby looked through her spellbooks, trying to find a spell that would be able to teleport the creatures inside of Deja-Vu. After multiple shelf searches, she finally found the book. She blew off the dust, gathered the ingredients, and sat down at the dining table. Deja-Vu sat opposite Ruby with his stomach resting inside of a drawn circle Ruby put on the ground. All of the goats sat underneath the table slurping their soup straight from the bowl.
``Alright.'' Said Ruby. ``Says here that I just need to read the incantation and do some somatics. This spell doesn't appear to require any components besides a spell focus.''
``Yes!'' Said Deja-Vu as he slammed his fist onto the table, startling Ruby. ``Sorry. I'm just really pumped for this. I can't wait to get back to adventuring.''
``Glad I can help.'' Said Ruby as she looked at her table to make sure it didn't get scuffed. She closed the book and stepped off her seat. ``Okay, I'm ready.''
Deja-Vu rubbed his stomach, feeling the creatures move around inside and chuckled. ``Say goodbye to my belly you invaders! For I shall adventure at dawn!'' All five of his drawn goats bleeted as they raised their bowls in celebration.
Ruby walked to the outer ends of the circle and started her incancation.
``Spirts that dwell within this flesh
I now undo your binding mesh
Retreat from the bowels of this bloated sheep
Introcedo spirits! I command you to sleep!''
The room around them began to rumble. The chair Deja-Vu sat on started to creak and shake. Even the goats underneath the table started to bounce from all the movement, and soup spilled upon their drawn fur. ``Wasn't expecting a sheep-shake to go along with this spell.''
The light that shined through the glass windows faded to darkness. The sounds of the wind picked up from outside, and the bushes and branches that resided near the glass pressed against the window, trying to claw their way inside.
Suddenly, the windows busted open, sending shattered glass to the ground. It felt like a hurricane was coming through the building. The books flew off the shelves and paper scattered around the room. The goats under the table tossed their bowls and scattered from under the table. Ruby grabbed the brim of her witch's hat and pulled it down trying to secure it. ``DEAR LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING!?''
``A light breeze is coming through?'' Said Deja-Vu as he rubbed his belly. The creatures inside felt restless. ``I think your sleep spell woke up the slumber party.''
``PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!'' Ruby ran to find the book which contained the spell she cast. She tried shoving papers that bombarded her face.
``The breeze is kind of nice honestly.''
Ruby frantically flipped through the book, and held down the page as best as she could with her hand while still holding onto her hat to stop the pages from flying about. Her eyes dashed over the page looking for what should be happening, and her eyes went white with fear.
``Should I be hiding on the floor as well?''
``YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! BEFORE-''
Howling of what sounded like a stereotypical ghost filled the house. The creatures inside of Deja-Vu started to become even more restless. He then saw who the wails belonged to. Blue specters entered the room, and flew around Deja-Vu's stomach.
``Uuuhhh. Ruby? Why is the spooky flying circus here?''
``OH GOSH DEJA I'M SORRY!''
One by one the flying specters descended and entered Deja-Vu's belly. And slowly but surely his stomach started to increase in size, making room for the new guests inside. Deja-Vu's already large belly began to creak against the floor as it expanded. And finally the last of the four specters flew down into his belly.
As soon as its wispy tail entered the sheep's skin, the howling wind and wailing stopped. The sun started to shine through the shattered windows. Ruby and Deja-Vu were left looking at a small and slowing whirlwind of papers. They all began to descend, littering the floor with their food and magical recipes.
Deja-Vu looked at the new size of his belly, noticing it had nearly doubled in size. ``Soooooooooooo I'm going to guess the wrong spell was used?''
Ruby crawled out from the papers that covered her and looked at the sheep in shock. ``Uh. I don't think so, no.''
``What happened then?''
``Well, I said `introcedo' when I should have said `discedo'. One meaning `to enter' when it should be the one that means `to leave'.''
``Soooooooooo instead of teleporting things out of me, you teleported them inside.''
``Uh, it would appear something like that, yes.'' Ruby grinned dumbly at Deja-Vu. He raised an eyebrow back with a face of confusion, and her fake grin turned real sour fast.
``You're not a real witch are you?''
``I told you I was a clairvoyant! The whole witch shtick kind of draws in customers for fortune telling. I don't typically use actual spells...'' An awkward silence loomed in the room. ``Please don't leave a bad review on Yip.''
-
Deja-Vu was waddling away from the shop with a more gravid stomach than before. He drew five more goats to help him carry his stomach, but gave one of them a wizard hat so that it could pretend to be a spellcaster. His drawing was probably more magical than the rabbit anyway. But even with his newfound help, the struggle was still real, and the goats nearly lost their balance on each step as the weight of the belly grew on them.
The rabbit stood at the top of her stairs watching Deja-Vu leave. She kept refreshing the Yip review page of her store, dreading what he would put.
The sheep had his phone out, and was writing a review on Yip, and read aloud to himself as he typed. ``The decor was very nice and homey. It felt inviting to just be in the presence of the fine rabbit. Although the doors could have been wider for those guests that are just naturally wider. I visited her to see if she could help get rid of my ghostly pregnant male belly, to which she said she could. The spell she cast gave me a much larger and spookier belly than before, making my situation much worse than when I had entered. The soup was good though. Four out of five stars.'' He put his phone away and continued walking.
A thump could be heard behind Deja-Vu, followed by a cry of agony. ``NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''
``Alright goats.'' Said Deja-Vu as he rubbed his hands together. ``Let's see if we can find someone or something else to help fix this pregnancy. But first, I think some fitting music is in order.''
The sheep got on his phone and pulled up the song `Frutiger Aero' by the artist evymio, and waddled onward to his next unknown location.
