Pamper Packers Are The Best Multitaskers
The big kids who brag of potty trainin’
Will say diapers are a limitation
But I’m sure you tots know pamper packers
Make for much much better multi-taskers!
Say you’re watching a top tier TV show
And feelings below say you gotta go
Rather than potties being pause buttons
Tots squat low amidst that show they’re lovin’
“Mmmmmmmph!”
SLUUUUUUUMP!
So, big kids, how’s that for “limitation”?
Tots will watch their feature presentation
While you’ll have to pause the show going on
Cause you decided diapers must be gone!
“Vwoom vwooom! Vwoom vwoom!”
There’s only so much time to play today
Trips to the potty won’t lead tots astray
‘Cause those kids will keep on going “vroom vroom!”
In the middle of making big boom booms!
“Vwoom vwoom…..PFFFFFT!…..vwoom vwoom….mmmmmmmph!”
SLUUUUUUUUMP!
All you older kids say it’s so naughty
That tots poop in their pants, not the potty
But, they’ve got more time to play with their toys
While you’re busy being big girls and boys!
See? Tots are the best multi-taskers, right?
They can even do it asleep at night!
Completely comfy and relaxed, eyes closed
No leaving cozy abodes to drop loads
“Mmph…”
PBLOOORT!
So, next time you big boys and girls insist
That being a baby has its limits
Think of all the things the diapered can do
‘Cause they don’t use the potty, unlike you!
A Baby’s Bunch of Boisterous Noises
They’re oh so precious, they’re oh so sweet
They’re the world’s cutest and purest petits
They bring warmth, love, smiles, cheer, laughter and joy
What’s not to love of baby girls and boys?
Well…there’s one thing they bring that’s a bother
To caregivers of those tiny toddlers
One that will leave some just a smidge annoyed
‘Cause, oh boy, those kiddos make so much NOISE!
And I don’t just mean when tots are shoutin’
Going “WAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH!”, crying, screaming, and poutin’
Not just when they’re going STOMP! STOMP! on the floor
Throwing tantrums over treats at the store
Nor do I merely mean when they blather
Babbling on and on in endless chatter
Or when they want to be a one-kid band
Going BANG! BANG! BANG! on the pots and pans
That’s not all I mean at all, no no no
There’s even more noise coming from below!
All it takes is for tots to strain their face
To show they sure know how to drop the bass
Going “Mmmmmmph!” with guttural grunts of sorts
Alongside PFFFT!, FRRRRRRT! and the boisterous BLOOOOORT!
Making a messy musical number
Pampers go PLOP! with beat drops from under
crinkle…crackle… goes poopy percussion
Dumps make diapers SLUUUUMP! as kids keep gruntin’
Though deeds are done, many more sounds ensue
As diapers SAG!…SAG!…SAG! and tots say “Phew…”
Moms reply “Peeyew!” to diapers droopy
The kids, loud and proud, “Mama, I poopied!”
Zzz….zzzz….zzzz…
Even when those toddlers are sound asleep
Quietly catching Z’s without a peep
Their bodies not knowing potties, such naps
Prompt big poopies with a SPLOOOOOORTCH! and BRAAAAAAAP!
“Hnnnnnng!”
SLUUUUUMP!!
Still, though it isn’t an epiphany
That toddlers are one smelly symphony
Parents face the messy music each day
And they wouldn’t have it another way
Though the days of caregivers end and start
With, PFFFFFT!, FRRRRRRT!, BRAAAAAAAAP!, BLOOOOOORT!, PLOP!, SLUMP!, SAG!, and BLAAAAAAAAART!
Though tots dirtily up the decibels
A parent’s love is more exceptional
Free to Poop Your Pants, Free to Roam and Prance
To be a diaper-clad kid means to be
One who’s exploring the world most freely
When the potty’s not where you have to go
You can be a kid moving to and fro!
crawl…crawl…crawl
crawl…crawl…crawl
When you’re crawling ‘round to your heart’s content
And then….BRAAAAAAAP!….a stinky signal is sent
Your hands and feet don’t have to leave the floor
When you’re using diapers for what they’re for!
“Mmmph….mmmph…”
SLUUUMP!
crawl…crawl…crawl
crawl…crawl…crawl
Just a few moments for what’s down below
And then just like that you’re back on the go
Having a ball as you crawl on the ground
While your diaper droops with those messy mounds
waddle…waddle…waddle
waddle…waddle…waddle
When you’re exploring that world oh so grand
With that awesome power to walk and stand
Needing to poopy won’t make those treks end!
All you gotta do is make those knees bend!
“Mmmmph!”
PBLOOORP!
waddle…waddle…waddle
waddle…waddle…waddle
Just a couple seconds to push and squat
And you’re back to being a waddling tot!
When you’re free to roam with your pampers packed
There’s nothing that’ll stop you in your tracks!
STOMP!…STOMP!…STOMP!
STOMP!…STOMP!…STOMP!
When frolicking has never been so fun
Now that you’re a kid who can romp and run
Pressure below will hardly slow your pace
‘Cause when you’re in diapers, just strain your face!
“Mmmmmmph!”
DUMP!…DUMP!…SLUMP!
STOMP!…STOMP!…STOMP!
STOMP!…STOMP!…STOMP!
When diapers are where all your dumps are done
Boom boom’s like the BANG! of a starting gun
Telling you “Back to moving that body!”
When you’re not concerned about the potty
BOING! BOING! BOING!
BOING! BOING! BOING!
When it is always for joy that you jump
And you’ve got a diaper around your rump
Poopies won’t stop adventures through the air
When you can fill your pants without a care!
“Mmmmph!”
PBLAAAAART!
BOING! BOING! BOING!
BOING! BOING! BOING!
A few moments of foul force of habit
And you’re back to jumping like a rabbit!
You’ve got all the time to jump, skip, and hop
When you’re free to make those pampers go PLOP!
Left foot…right foot…left foot…right foot
Left foot…right foot…left foot…right foot
When your adventure is a staircase climb
And then your bowels say “It’s poopy time!”
You’re free to push it all out from down there
And it’s all thanks to those diapers you wear!
“Mmmmmmmmph!”
PBLOOOOORMPH!
Left foot…right foot…left foot…right foot
Left foot…right foot…left foot…right foot
Just the briefest pause for big number twos
And then you’re right back to see that climb through!
When diapers are there for the loads you drop
You don’t have to stop that trip to the top!
When potty prowess ain’t what they must prove
Diaper-clad kids are kids most on the move!
More Dumps Without Delay, More Time to Play
To be a diaper-clad kid means to be
One playing at the park most frequently
Cause when the potty’s not a place to stay
You’re spending more time in places of play!
waddle…waddle…waddle
waddle…waddle…waddle
You’re eyes are on the slide like no other
The funnest way to leave the play structure
But before you’re riding and sliding though
PFFFT!…FRRRRT! Uh oh! Looks like you gotta go!
“Mmmmph!”
When you’re in diapers for that very deed
You push, you PBLOOORT!, and then you go “Weeeeeeeee!”
When the potty’s not a place you’ll attend
You can ride that slide again and again!
CLINK! CLINK! CLINK!
CLINK! CLINK! CLINK!
Using your little arms to get you far
You’re making your way through the monkey bars
And when you’re in diapers with loads to the drop
Your journey to the end won’t have to stop!
“Mmmmmph!”
All you gotta do is a push and grunt
Make your diaper SLUUUUMP! as it bears the brunt
Then you’re right back to going CLINK CLINK! CLINK!
Having fun no matter how much you stink!
climb…climb…climb
climb…climb…climb
When you’re climbing onto the jungle gym
Your playtime sublime won’t have to be trimmed
Over bowels now burdened with boom boom
‘Cause you’re a kid exempt from the bathroom!
“Mmmmmmmph!”
With a diaper snugly wrapped ‘round your rump
Your pants are where poopies go DUMP!…DUMP!…DUMP!
Allowing you to keep climbing around
No matter the mess you make from way down
scoop…scoop…scoop
scoop…scoop…scoop
You’re having such a blast in the sandbox
Building lots of sand castles ‘round the clock
And you bet no pressure will stop your play
When you’re packing pampers with no delay!
“Mmmmmmmmph!”
In the sandbox, no ways for you to part
When you’re a tot who’s free to squat and BLAAAAAART!
Your plastic shovel will still scoop…scoop…scoop
Regardless of diapers piled with poop
teeter…totter…teeter…totter
teeter…totter…teeter…totter
With the help of fellow diaper-clad friends
You’re riding the seesaw whose fun won’t end
When both you babies have big stinkies due
On this lovely attraction made for two
“Mmmmmmmph!”
“Hnnnnnnnnnmg!”
‘Cause when you’re in diapers made for all sorts
Of those PFFFFTs!, FRRRRRTs, BRAAAAAPs!, BLAAAAARTs!, PLOPs! and PBLOOOOORTs!
The seesaw’s still going up…down…up…down
Thanks to pairs of poofy pants filled with browns!
When they still don’t have to be potty trained
The park is a diaper-clad kid’s domain
To Be a Little Stinker With Nature’s Littler Creatures
To be a diaper-clad kid means to be
One immersed in nature’s sublimity
To answer nature’s call, to load your pants
Means your time with nature’s kin isn’t scant
chirp…chirp…chirp
chirp…chirp…chirp
When your body’s telling you to make turds
That means there’s more time to spend with the birds
Time to hear to their sweet songs of “tweet, tweet, tweet”
When potties won’t have to force your retreat
“Mmmmph….mmmmph….”
The time you’re spending grunting and squatting
Is also time you’re spending bird watching
Seeing them take to the skies with such grace
As your diaper sags and you strain your face
scuttle…scuttle…scuttle
scuttle…scuttle…scuttle
When it’s the time to start filling your pants
It’s also the time to make friends with ants
To find joy in what’s way smaller than you
While you’re about to make a number two
“Mmmmmmmmph!”
Watching itsy bitsy bugs move in groups
While you’re making your diaper slump and droop
Spying anthills with pants filled, new domains
Show lots to see when you’re not potty trained
crawl….crawl….crawl….crawl
Something catches your eye on grassy grounds
A worm content to just slither around
And when your diaper’s where you go poo poo
No stopping you from watching what worms do
“Mmmmph….”
Intriguing sights of creatures small and slow
Fascinate you as your diaper sags low
The time you spend on grunting and messing
Is time to see nature’s many blessings
Bzzz….bzzzz…..bzzzzz
Spotting a certain small flying fellow
Buzzing ‘round with bodies black and yellow
Diapers made for all your sudden stinkies
Let you indulge your curiosities
“Mmmmph…mmmmmmph!”
You can ask the bee how they make honey
As you push and make your diaper lumpy
You can ask them why they have a stinger
As you’re being quite a little stinker
flap…flap…flap
flap…flap…flap
The time you spend on those stinky duties
Is time spent adoring nature’s beauties
‘Cause being in diapers means no bye byes
To your backyard buddy, the butterfly
“Mmmmmmmmph!”
Be awestruck by the bug’s beauty renowned
As you fill your diaper with lots of browns
Be amazed by the colors of its wings
While packed pampers are what your bowels bring
Diaper-clad kids, their big stinkies featured
Are kids most in touch with nature’s creatures
More BLOORTs!, More Sports!
To be a diaper-clad kid means to be
A kid immersed in matters most sporty
‘Cause when you can go poopy on a dime
There’s no such thing as timeouts or halftime!
bounce…bounce…bounce
bounce…bounce…bounce
Enjoying that pastime adored by all
None other than the game of basketball
You’re ready to shoot it into the hoop
And then…..BRAAAAAAP! Uh oh! You’re about to poop!
“Mmmmmmmph!”
But you’re a diaper-clad kid on the court!
With a simple push and a boisterous BLOOORT!
One load later, back to playtime galore!
Your diaper sags, you shoot….SWISH!…and you score!
Onto sports with no balls or strikes to call
Where toy bats are put to use, it’s tee ball!
But right before you swing for the fences
Poopy pressure strikes and your face tenses
“Mmmph….mmmmph….”
PFFFFT!…BLOORT!…SLUMP!
Lucky for you, you’re padded at the plate
And free to fill up that diaper with haste!
With your messes kept in poofy places
Batter….batter….SWING! Go run the bases!
dribble…dribble…dribble
dribble…dribble…dribble
When you’re playing that sport you find so grand
That game that demands from more than your hands
Potties won’t stop your games of soccer
When you’re a little diaper-clad toddler!
“Mmmmmmph!”
DUMP!…DUMP!…SLUUUUUMP!
Making your pampers crinkle and crackle
Loaded diapers causing no debacles
Once you’re finished filling your diaper whole
You give the ball a good kick, and then…..GOOOOOOAAAAAL!!!
“Hehehehe!”
When you’re in diaper’s doing gymnastics
And all sorts of awesome acrobatics
Boom booms won’t bring such antics to a halt
So just keep on doing those somersaults!
“Mmmmmmmph!”
PBLOOOOORMPH!
When all you gotta do is grunt and push
To fill up your diaper with messy mush
You’re right back to doing flips on the floor
Instead of sitting on potties while bored
SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE!
SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE!
So too are diapered bottoms enhancing
Your super silly and zany dancing
Because when your bowels are on the move
Just drop the beat and get back in the groove!
“Mmmmph!”
From pushing it all out with a PBLOOORT!
Back to shaking your booty back and forth
When you’re a kid who’s free to poop their pants
SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! do the dirty diaper dance!
When diaper-clad kids can just squat and BLOORT!
They’re the people most invested in sport!
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