Love is a cruel mistress. She teases you, fills you with desire and passion. She forces thoughts into your head, makes you nauseous. She’s like a drug. Every time you think you’re clean, you find yourself needing more. She’s a tall slender woman, her fur golden when the sun shines down on it. . Her eyes are bright blue puddles of water. Her hands are as soft as silk and as cold as ice. She travels with the grace of a dancer. Her teeth are as white as pearls. Her curves are obvious but are not disrupting. Her voice is soft, nearly a whisper as she talks into my ear while we walk down the street, paw in paw.
“We’ll be together forever. I’ll never leave you.” Her lips, ruby red in color, fill my vision as she blows warm air into the crevice of my soft, fur-covered neck.
“You lie.” I say, cold, distant.
“No, I’d never lie to you.” Her voice starts to grow hoarse, obviously fighting back tears. She didn’t realize tears wouldn’t work on a young man whose heart she’d broken several times. Earlier that year and in years past she had told me, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Every time she said that I felt as if it were my fault we were breaking up. I sigh to myself. It was futile; I knew I’d lose the disagreement. My thoughts drift and I let go of her hand and start walking away slowly at first but then faster and faster until I’m running. My brain registers, through hearing, her chasing me, calling my name. “Azrael, Azrael.” She’s telling me to stop. Not willingly, I do and she knocks me to the ground, sprawled on me. I sigh once again and she kisses me softly.
“I love you.” She says again, tears rolling down her cheeks, falling onto mine, and then rolling down.
“I know.” I say, feeling her heartbeat against my own.
“I thought you were going to leave me.” She says and helps me up after getting up.
“I know. I was going to, but I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you like that.” I say, meaning every word. My face brings forth a smile and I take her hand. She blushes, her cheeks turning salmon in color. While smiling, I lead her to a dance club. She smiles and wraps one arm around my waist and takes my hand in the other one as the waltz begins to play. I kiss her and she kisses me. We carry on through the night, waltzing.
I wake to find her standing next to me. It makes me start and she laughs. Her laughs are always full of amusement and joy, never of pity. She tells me she has a surprise for me after this. She takes me to a guitar shop and tells me to browse around. I find this odd but I oblige and start looking around, testing out the guitars. When I find one I like, I turn to take it to the register. It pains me to know that she’s done this before. She’s kissing another man, the cashier. I set the guitar down and walk out.
I head to the park; it’s where I go when I want to get away. She comes over apologizing, saying how he came onto her, not the other way around. It’s the same story every time. I sigh and shake my head. She begs and pleads, “It wasn’t me, please, believe me.”
“Why so you can shatter the little love I have left?” My face turns red, tears clouding my vision as I scream those words at her. I sit on the bench, my knees drawn to my chest. She sits next to me.
“Please just hear me out.”
“No I’m done listening to your lies.”
“I’m not lying; I’d never try to hurt you.”
“You said the same the last time you broke my heart.” Love cries and slaps me, hard. I know what I said was mean and hurt her feelings but it was the truth. Her hands move up to my cheeks and it was my turn to blush. She kisses me with a passion I’d never seen in her before. She moves her hands down to my shoulders. “Please, give me one last chance.”
She hugs me tight and whispers, “I’m so sorry,” into my ear. I lean back, looking at her puzzled. That’s when she shoves a hand through my shirt and my chest, wraps it around my heart and pulls, tearing it into pieces. “If I can’t have you, no one can.”
I gasp and stare at her for a moment, my vision slowly tunneling to focus on her, my life flashing in my peripheral vision. I cry and she cries. She holds me and I hold her. She apologizes over and over as my vision starts to darken. I take one final breath and let it out in a sigh. Then everything goes black and I feel no more. Love is a cruel mistress.
