The phone vibrated again. It was yet another time since Ellie, two nights before, had gone to that party. Only two nights ago, she almost said 'I love you' to the girl she considered a friend. Now she hated her wholeheartedly. The day after the party, her phone received dozens of messages from her horny peers , several photos and even two videos. And every message hurt her more and more.
“Ellie, hun, you've been closed in your room for a day, don't you even want to eat something?”
Her mother was trying every hour to persuade the daughter to leave the locked room, but with no results. She could've easily opened the door with the set of keys she had, but didn't want to invade Ellie's privacy, as it was obvious the little berger wanted to stay alone. That Alex, the girl who called her so many times, maybe knew something more, or maybe was the reason why her daughter didn't want to leave the room.
“I have to do some shopping now, please try to go out.”
She said with a sad voice to the mute door before leaving Ellie alone again. The little dog was in her pajamas on the bed. Legs leaning against the chest and arms hugging the thighs, she was staring at the blank wall. She wanted to write every massage and see every image the boys were continuously sending to her, so that she could know how much she should've hated the maine coon who that night sent her to heaven. She took up the cell phone and opened it: 1 new message.
'Hey, you ok? Alex'
So, finally, Alexandra decided to text her. What could the berger think about that brief message? What did the girl want from her? Did she want to apologize? Did she want to make joke of the little puppy like all the boys? Did she want to use her again? Ellie wasn't able to reply and didn't even know what to text her back. Too many feelings, too many ideas and memories were mixing in her head. Her pleasure combined with the humiliation, claps and whistles mixed with laughter from the guys around. Each touch, each kiss made her seethe with anger, every lick was another hit to her fragile heart but every time she was going to explode, to hit the wall with a punch, the sight of the cat's eyes, the memory of her beautiful deep eyes calmed her.
The little berger had never felt something like that in her whole life, that was the reason why she was delaying in the reply. I hate her, she thought, but wasn't even sure about that. What was that feeling that was rising every time her mind wandered on Alexa's eyes and fur?
“AAAAAAAH!”
The little berger screamed in frustration, throwing her phone against the wall, breaking it in half. She knew that, willingly, she could've reassembled it in few seconds, but she needed something to vent her anger on. Few hours passed. Her mother came back and tried two other times to make her leave the room, but she was still in her bed, in the same crouched position, chin on her knees. Ellie was still staring at the mobile in pieces. That experience was sending her in crisis. It was now the dusk when Ellie finally found what to say: her eyes opened wide and a bold look came over her face. For the first time in the day, the berger left her position and stood up to fix the phone. Battery, SIM, cover and in less than two minutes the phone was working again. 10 new messages, 14 unanswered calls. She didn't even bother controlling them and scrolled the menu to write her text: simple, concise, just two words that would've expressed the torment she was in.
*****
Alexandra needed a whole day to recover: if her party ended with that crazy adventure, everything for her should've been ok. But after pulling up her soaked panties and pants as best as she could, she took the wrong decision. To bask in her achievement, she accepted every drink the boys offered her hoping for a bis with them. Their hands touched her whole body but her blurred mind couldn't reject them. What a terrible experience! She could remember everything with an incredibly lucid way, but she couldn't explain why she didn't stop them, or herself. Then, some other alcohol and nothing more: she could only remember to be brought arm in arm to the car by the same person she humiliated the same night. She had a whole day of so much headache wasn't even able to think. Her father decided not to punish her, but Alexandra knew she disappointed him. She even had the chance to express her sexuality in an unorthodox way and her feelings for the friend, but she wasn't satisfied. At the dawn of the second day, Alex decided to send her a message, prelude to an apology. Did the berger want to still talk to her? Even just a 'you're a bastard' would've been enough. And she deserved it. She canceled every message she receive during that long day and texted to Ellie.
It was like Alex feared: the little dog girl was so angry she didn't even want to talk. And how could she blame her? Even Alexandra hated herself, but she needed to hear the berger's voice and needed to apologize to her, she wanted to leave that night behind and go on. She called and called, finding her phone occupied. She tried every method to talk to the girl: she called her home, she even called her mother, but nothing helped her to get in touch with Ellie. Only at dusk she resigned, promising herself to try harder the next day and each day after.
Biiiiip. Twenty minutes after her last try, Alex got a new message from Ellie. Her ears perked up and her heart stopped. Opening the message, Alexa found only two words inside:
'Go die'
It was a severe blow, but she should've expected it. She nearly raped the girl in front of all their friends and acquaintances. And, even though Alex was sure the berger enjoyed it, she had all the rights to hate the maine coon.
'sorry' was the only word that she had the courage to write back.
With a lump in her throat, the cat sighed and dress up in hurry, running out of her room and pass the front door. Her father just murmured something like:
“Come back sober and watch yourself... please...”
She disappointed too many persons for just a day, but in that moment Ellie had the priority. Alexa called her again, but the phone rang unanswered: she started running through the three blocks that divided her house from her friend's one.
Few minutes and she was in front of the gate of the villa tired and sweaty. Panting, she leaned against the iron and slid down until her bottom encountered the asphalt and tried another call. This time Ellie refused the call and Alexa waited few long seconds of silence before standing up again, ringing to the intercom.
“Watson's house, hello?”
Oh! Ellie's mother voice was so delightful and bright, so similar to the young berger's one that Alexandra seemed to speak directly to her friend. The maine coon caught a deep breath and replied:
“G-Good evening, Mrs Watson. I'm Alexandra, a friend of Ellie. Can I enter?”
“Ellie's not here, I'm sorry”
“Pardon, ma'am, but I know Ellie is in”
Few seconds of silence before an angrier voice came out from the intercom:
“Listen here, kid. You've disturbed me enough with all your calls. I've not passed you Ellie via phone, why should I let you in? Leave me and my daughter alone.”
Alexa's reply was immediate:
“I-I beg you, ma'am. You can't understand, I-I HAVE to talk to her, I have to, I beg you. I have to apologize, I can't stay like this, I can't do anything until I apologize. Please, please!”
Her fist hit the iron in frustration as the silence rose between the two.
“M-Ma'am?”
Alexa asked again to the intercom, still breathless from the run. With an electric rumor the door opened and Alex thanked several times the intercom. She entered the garden and closed the door behind her before running through those ten meters of cobbled path. Here, after a noise of latch, Ellie's mother opened the door and was struck by a warm hug.
“Oh, thanks ma'am, thank a lot, thank you thank you thank you”
And Alexa felt a gesture of affection that she needed from the whole day, but had nobody to ask for it: moved with pity, the lady caress the girl's head in a maternal way. It was the first time in years Alexa felt the absence of her mother.
“What happened to the party? Why are you involved?”
“I can't explain, please ma'am, let me in, I have to talk to Ellie”
Mrs Watson sighed and, before even accepting the request, she felt the hug loose and saw the cat sneak in the house, running to the door of Ellie's room, locked from the inside.
Ellie heard everything, she knew Alexandra was in the house. She was sitting on the parquet, back against the wooden door of her room, unable to move or react. Only her ears made a little movement, lifting up to catch the discussion. Toc Toc. Two hits came to her door but she did not answer, staying motionless.
“E-Ellie... It's me”
Alexandra said softly: there was no need for saying her name, as Ellie knew her voice. The berger couldn't see her, but the cat was standing still in front of her door, ears flattened and tail between her legs.
“I hope you're listening, because it'll be hard for me to repeat what I'm going to say”
She leaned her forehead against the door and tried to continue her improvised speech.
“I-I-I don't know, I don't know why I did it. Well, I mean, maybe I know why, but I don't know. I j-just want to apologize, I want to say I'm sorry for everything, I had no idea what I was doing, I was drunk and should've done nothing”
The maine coon sniffed, trying to reorder her confused ideas and phrases she had in mind.
“T-That's all,... I wanted to say this, I'm sorry and I deserve your hate. I'm a monster and I humiliated you. I didn't want...”
Tears started running on Alexa's cheeks wetting them and flattening the fur on the flesh as the girl tried to go on, with her voice increasingly broken by her sobs.
“I-It's that... It's that...”
The cat slammed her hand against the door:
“I didn't choose you randomly. I like you. I love you. I'm sorry for everything, I don't want your forgiveness, I don't deserve it.”
Alexandra was completely in tears and collapsed to the ground, back against the door as the mirror image of Ellie, even if she couldn't see the dog.
“I just need a sign, something to make me know you listened to me, that's it. I...”
The cat finally managed to vent, crying and sobbing, while from the other side of the door the berger was still motionless, watching the wall.
“I'm sorry”
Alexa screamed again, hiding her face in the hands.
Ellie didn't have a heart of stone: she hated what Alexa did to her, that's why she stood speechless for the whole time, with no sign of reply. She wanted the silence to speak for her, but the more she was hearing the friend crying, the more she wasn't able to stay still. She closed herself in fetal position hearing her friend's sobs for few minutes. At least Alexa could cry: the little berger wasn't even able to do so.
*****
Half an hour passed with the two girl motionless, nearly in contact if a wooden door didn't divide them. The mother guessed what happened during that night, but fortunately she was open, comprehensive and caring, so she let the girl vent and went as far away as possible from the room, finding herself wandering around the basement. Should she have informed the cat's parents now that it was 10 p.m.?
The cat continued crying for several other minutes until she had no more tears. Her eyes and lungs hurt and another headache was annoying her even more. She put her head on the knees and nearly fell asleep, but a glimmer of hope shined when a noise of latch could be hear from the cat's ears. The door opened violent and Alexa ended up with her head against the parquet, Ellie's feet only few inches away.
“E-Ellie!”
She tried to say, her eyes red and the fur on her cheeks ruined by the tears.
“I hate you.”
Ellie replied as the cat tried to stand up: the headache was preventing her to think anything but the body moved for her e stood up in front of the puppy. A slap reached her cheek.
“I hate you I hate you I hate you”
It hurt, it hurt bad. It wasn't for the slap itself, as she got many from her father that she didn't even feel it on the flesh and Ellie didn't want to hurt her. It was the reason for the slap that was hurting her heart. And she knew to deserve it: she suffered that slap and stood still, waiting for Ellie to blow off.
“You're a bastard! I hate you! How did you dare?”
“I-I'm sorry, I was drunk...”
“No! Don't dare! You weren't drunk, you got drunk after that! You were drunk when you threw up in the garden, when you still tried to provoke me. Then, you were drunk!”
Another slap reached Alexa's cheek as the tears pressed, trying to flow from Ellie's eyes.
“You knew what you were doing, you knew you were going to humiliate me in front of everyone.”
“No, Ellie, I didn't want, it's that I like you!”
“Bullshit! I hate you!”
And when Ellie tried to assault her, to land some other slap, Alexa understood it and moved before the dog, hugging her and squeezing her tight.
“I hate you I hate you I hate you”
The berger struggled, trying to free herself from the hug as the first tears started dropping from her eyes, flowing on her cheeks.
“I hate you I hate you..”
She said with less decision, sobbing. She resigned to struggle and was now hugging back Alexa, crying on her shoulder.
“I hate you”
She murmured again, squeezing the feline body.
“I hate myself too”
Alexa replied, starting to rub Ellie's back to calm her down. Ellie's cry covered every other sound while Alexa was supporting her, still cuddling and caressing her. It had been a long quarter of an hour punctuated only by Ellie's sobs and wheezes. And when the dog ended, she was powerless. She had not eat for 2 days and the outburst drained her energies: she had to rest against the 'hated' maine coon who leaned her on the bed. And then Alexa could lay down next to her and lick her salty cheek to say:
“I love you.”
The little dog looked away and waited few seconds before staring back at Alexa's eyes. They were red from tears, like Ellie's ones.
“I love you too”
She said before laying a soft, chaste kiss on Alexa's lips.
“Goodnight”
They said together, falling asleep immediately, embraced and still dressed.
