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boyninja12
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Astro Boy 2009 Rant

Astro's Messy Lifestyle
astro_boy_2009_rant.mp3
Silent Hill: The Short Message Review
The Legend of Zelda Echoes of Wisdom Review
This film sucks.

Keywords
audio 1,832, review 334, jake the kobold 272, rant 193, astro boy 65
Details
Type: Music - Single Track
Published: 3 months, 3 weeks ago
Rating: General

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SuperHooktailJr
3 months, 3 weeks ago
Have you ever reviewed Kung Fu Panda 4? I've heard that didn't do too well.
boyninja12
3 months, 3 weeks ago
No, but it's basically the Sonic Forces of the movies. They jumped too quickly.
SuperHooktailJr
3 months, 3 weeks ago
Mybe they should just move on with the next generation of Kung Fu Panda or some kind of series. I think it should take place in the 80's timeline and the main character would be a female panda this time.
boyninja12
3 months, 3 weeks ago
Or... here are other ideas.

Kung Fu Panda 4: Shifu is not gonna live forever, and Po needs to find someone who can take over as Dragon Warrior in case something happens to him. In the end, it's right in front of him. Master Tigress.

Kung Fu Panda 5: Po is searching for candidates for the new Dragon Warrior. He meets the fox thief Zhen and hit it off.

Kung Fu Panda 6: THEN you introduce The Chameleon and have her be an evil sorceress trying to absorb powers from people to become the strongest warrior in all of China and then the world. None of that; "Wah, I can't be a master 'cause I'ma  shortstack :(" nonsense.
SuperHooktailJr
3 months, 3 weeks ago
Yeah but course it's kinda too late for that and can't be fixed which is why I think my idea should be best.....unless they pull off a time travel, altering timeline thing JUST to fix the problem then mybe it can work....somehow.
Akaku8
1 month ago
or maybe how about Kung Fu Panda 4 be about how Po will be a teacher like shifu one day, so he decides to round them five students who will make the dragon warriors "dragonlings" aka students

there zhen can be in the story without is being stupid.

and it can still be meaningful because while shifu isn't going to be around in the franchise forever

and I'm pretty sure oogway  kick-started the furious 5 and shifu unless I'm wrong.

and for villain I guess you could either have the chameleon or Tai lung since they wanted to bring him back anyway.

I'd pick the latter because well it's tai lung why wouldn't you have him?

the chameleon can be for movie 5

and it could cause an interesting strife between the chameleon and Zhen whereas Zhen wants to do good but she has to listen to her adoptive mother.

ergo for the new sequel trilogy; it's all about the Next generation of kung fu fighters, and the redemption of one from the past.

and the last movie focuses on both groups with shifu's death at the end of it all.

just something off the top of my head.
Timer
3 months, 2 weeks ago
I remember the designs of the secondary characters feeling off from the style of the classic characters.  They don't have the exaggerated features you would expect from Osamu, instead they appear to be lifted directly from a budget television cartoon.  The contrast is quite stark.  Also many of the robots are clearly Futurama inspired, which is another layer of aberration.  As a whole the art direction doesn't feel cohesive which damages the worldbuilding before you even get to any story.  
boyninja12
3 months, 2 weeks ago
Yeah, the Astro Boy character have their own distinct style. But everyone else in the film is so out of place. Hell, even Astro and Tobio's appearance has been altered slightly. The whole film is a MESS.
Timer
3 months, 2 weeks ago
I think part of it is that Osamu's character designs don't always translate well to 3-D animation, but probably most of it is just flat-out laziness.  

The scene that really soured me on the movie is where he initially refused to fight in the robot arena, and then after getting a little bit of push, proceeds to destroy every single bot there.  It seems weird from both sides.  Astro isn't standing on his principals (at least not until Zog shows up) and Hamegg is wrecking all his bots needlessly.  
boyninja12
3 months, 2 weeks ago
"I don't wanna kill my robot brethren!"

*Proceeds to show off his powers with no remorse*

"This I'm doing? Just ignore that. Tooootally against my will, honest."

Like, what the fuck? Also, the robo racism, classism and etc. Nope. All ignored. Because this a "KiDs MoVIe!" Fuck right off.

There was an attempt at translating to 3-D. I didn't say it was  GOOD attempt. They severely dumbed this down. Astro's existential crisis? Finding his own existence? The real struggles he has to make his own identity? Nah, fuck that shit. We don't need that. But Tobio being fucking vaporized? That's A-OK.
Timer
3 months, 2 weeks ago
We really should have higher expectations for kids entertainment instead of lower.  Even if this is supposed to be a "jangling keys" movie, it's pretty tedious for one.  
boyninja12
3 months, 2 weeks ago
The "comedy" is juvenile. We barely focus on the original characters, the rest of the new cast is bland and boring. The pacing and editing is so fucking disjointed and bad, it's nonsensical at times. And it barely has anything to do with the source material.

Astro's trauma and existential crisis? Gone.

The racism and elitism of the surface and sky dwellers and robots against humans and vice versa? What conflict? That doesn't exist.

The whole conflict of Astro killing his own robot kind? Nah, it's all cool fam. Barely an inconvenience.

And oh my God. It just occurred to me. The Peacekeeper could've been Pluto. Redesign it to have horns and-FUCK. It was right there!

And how does Astro know he's a copy of Tobio? Not overhearing Tenma and Ochanomizu with his super hearing. Not finding out a news report of "his" own death. Nope.

Cleaning robots in a made up robot language. That's how. Fuck. This. Movie.
Timer
3 months, 2 weeks ago
"Sounds like it will be hard for Astro to get out of the arena fight."

"Actually it will be super easy, barely an inconvenience."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  He's just going to destroy them all."  

"But... wouldn't that be killing his own kind which he expressly doesn't want to do?"

"Here's the thing about that: I want a violent action scene in a kids movie with no moral complications, so I need you to get all the way off my back about it."
  

(Sorry, you said "Barely an inconvenience" and I couldn't help myself)

I'm not really up to speed on Astro Boy lore.  The extent of my knowledge is a few classic black and white episodes (which the lore has likely since deviated from significantly), and this movie.  So I had to look up who Pluto was.  I suspect that character is a bit more dynamic than what they wanted (a big, dumb robot to fight in the third act) and I doubt his inclusion would have saved the film.  The script simply needed a few more passes in the rewrite stage to create a cohesive story.  
boyninja12
3 months, 2 weeks ago
Okay, I set myself up for that one.
Timer
3 months, 2 weeks ago
I spend too much time on Youtube.
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