Robert jolted awake, jerking up from where he had fallen asleep at the old oaken desk. The fur on the rat's back from his neck down almost to his tail quivered. His whiskers twitched as he sniffed the air. It was just himself and the remnants of his grandmother's scent, a mix of her fur, buried under the medications she had taken with a light perfume to try and soften the bitterness of that cocktail. That once comforting scent was now bittersweet. He missed her, but it was nice to have that reminder still, soaked deep into the core of her residence for most of her life.
Her loss clutched at Robert's chest, threatening to send a sob up through his throat, but the adrenaline rush of waking up so abruptly helped him hold it down.
A quick glance at the desktop showed that the computer had gone past the point of displaying a screen saver and into full sleep mode. The bills were all tucked in their gray folders rather than scattered across the work area. The rat had likely finished them up before falling asleep earlier, but hadn't yet gotten them filed away. He'd have to double check later to be sure.
The plate with the colorless remains of the small serving of lasagna he failed to fully finish was still set out of the way on the edge of the desk. Robert leaned over to look at the floor to see if he'd knocked his drink off the desk in his sleep. He then shook his head as he remembered that he hadn't grabbed a beverage with his half hearted attempt at having something for breakfast. It hadn't been anything falling from the desk that had pulled him from his unexpected nap.
While he knew he hadn't set any alarms and had turned off notifications, Robert reached out and flipped his phone over. It was 2:18. He'd been asleep for maybe three hours. No missed call. The rat unplugged his fully charged phone before setting it back face down.
He pushed back from the desk, looking around the office. Nothing appeared to have fallen off any of the shelves. The window looking out over the back yard was unbroken and closed. No one was visible on the lawn and it was still a week from needing mowed.
The only sound that reached his ears was a soft chatter from some news broadcast on the television in the front room. Had he left that on before coming back to work on the monthly budget? He usually did, since without it, the ticking of the grandfather clock that also stood in the front room as well as sounds from the neighborhood would serve as distractions. The droning of the new channel in another room served much better as a kind of white noise. Which didn't help him keep awake, but did allow him some level of focus.
The musical tones of the doorbell sounded. Someone was at the door. That had to be what had shaken him out of his unplanned nap.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
The rodent looked down and ran the meditation through his head three times, gathering a feeling of calm to him as best he could.
He was wearing a shirt and shorts. While a little wrinkled, they were clean. Bare feet, but it was his house, so that didn't matter.
Taking one more breath in and letting it out with purpose, the rat padded out of the office and into the hall. paused. He looked down the hall to his bedroom, then shook his head an turned the other way. ``Coming,'' he called out as he started down the hall to the front room.
Five steps to the end of the hall. Robert glanced at the television. Rows of flat, monochrome human men in business suits positioned themselves to look good in front of the cameras. An older gentleman, the Secretary of the Interior if the text at the bottom of the screen applied to him, stood beside the podium, looking back as a feline approached.
The approaching feline wore a suit similar to all the humans and had no visible spots or stripes. They definitely didn't have a mane. Species was hard to tell from a quick glance on his small television, but looked too light to be a panther. Most likely a puma, though might be a female lion. Could male lions shave their mane and look like that? None of the lions he knew had ever tried it, so he wasn't sure if shaving his mane would leave a male lion bald. Did they have the shorter fur over the rest of their bodies hiding under their manes after they grew in? Certainly, they did as cubs before they grew a mane, but did they keep that layer of fur?
Robert realized he had stopped as his thoughts wandered. He needed to see who is at the door first; time for distractions later.
Another nine steps brought the rodent to the door. A glance through the window showed it was the neighbor, a short lioness who had been good friends with his grandmother for longer than he'd been alive. Looked like she had casserole dish of something.
Mrs. Chepkirui had been over more than once as the funeral and wake were being planned. He knew her well, having befriended several of her grandchildren when their visits matched with his summer vacations as a child where he spent a time staying with his grandmother. She was always quick to bring over food. Her support had always been greatly appreciated and helped keep Robert going through this tough time.
It took a few seconds to unlock the door and open it. Despite the wave of heat that hit him as he pulled open the door, he had a big smile for her. ``Bibi, it's great to see you. Would you like to come in?''
``Oh, I can't stay and chat long, Robby. Just had some extra cookies I thought I'd bring over for you.'' She held out a wide container for him to take, which he did.
``Thank you, Bibi. You do too much for me.''
``Nonsense. You're a good boy and are doing a wonderful job of taking care of Sara's place and flowers, like she knew you would.
Breathe in, breathe out. Hold down the grief. Bibi is missing grandmother too. Taking care of others is how she copes.
The meditation was rushed because of the conversation, veering off with concern instead of calming his own emotions.
``I do appreciate you bringing me this, but I'm not eating as much as I did as a growing boy, or teen. I'm still working on the lasagna and fried chicken you brought over the past two days. At this rate, I'll have more of your dishes than you.''
``Robby, you know I have more dishes than I can use. If I remember correctly, that lasagna pan was Sara's anyway. If I need some dishes back, I'll send Gakere over to get some. I know he'll make sure you're eating enough too. I can tell you're not eating enough.
Nothing tastes right. I'm never hungry. I have to force myself to eat.
His negative thoughts hit hard. The rodent's head wavered just a bit as he held back a full shake of his head. Instead, he forced the left side of his smile a little higher. ``You were always telling us to stop wrestling in the house and now you're threatening sending him over to force me to eat?''
Bibi chuckled. ``I would hope he could talk some sense into you, but if wrestling is what it takes, I suppose he will do what he has to. So don't make me send him over. Take better care of yourself, Robby.''
Robert forced a nod. ``I'll do my best.''
He could feel the negative voice starting up again, but locked it down.
``You do that, Robby. Treat yourself as well as you've cared for Sara's house, lawn, flowers and garden. You do her proud and she'd want you to take care of yourself as well.''
He looked over the lawn, shade trees and flower garden out in front of the house. Nothing looked as vibrant as it used to. He could tell the flowers were healthy and the lawn well maintained.
``Thank you. I'm doing my best for her. To be fair, your family has been doing most of the heavy lifting. Maka keeps the lawn cut. Amelia comes over whenever repairs are needed. I can only go out to water and care for everything early in the morning. I don't feel like I'm doing enough.''
Bibi nodded. ``I understand that. You need to remember, Sara didn't do it all herself either. My great grandson was mowing the lawn for her too. My niece did all the handiwork as needed. We all helped each other out. We get that you're still hurting. You have to work through this at your rate in your way. Just know that Sara doesn't expect you to do things on your own. She'd be thrilled you moved in instead of selling everything. She would have understood whatever you did, but this would make her especially happy. And she'd want for you to be happy here too.''
The heat was starting to get to Robert. Warmer temperatures just pulled the energy out of him so much these days.
He nodded at Bibi's words. ``I hear you. I appreciate it. I am...''
I am drowning in a darkness that pulls all life out of my location; all joy out of my existence. I am trapped in a world turned black and white and have forgotten what colors look like.
Roddy closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly, pushing the negative thoughts back down.
``I'm sorry,'' he finally managed to say. ``The heat is really getting to me. I need to step back inside. Are you sure you don't want to come in?''
``Oh, Robby. Here I am making you stand in the heat when I said I wouldn't talk your ear off. Go in. If you need anything, just call. Should I send one of my kids over?''
``No. I'll be fine once I sit down with a glass of water and some cookies,'' Robert replied, holding the container she'd brought over up a little higher.
With a pat to his shoulder, the lioness turned and walked away. ``Remember, call if you need anything.''
``Yes, Bibi,'' the rat replied as he shut the door, flipping the locks before going over and sitting on the couch. He leaned back, staring at the ceiling.
Relax. Breathe. Soak in the air conditioning. Don't cry.
The mantra of words he used to meditate escaped him, but he tried to state things that met their spirit in his mind.
The feline was talking on the television with a soft, almost melodious voice. Well, Robert assumed it was the feline. None of the human anchors or politicians had a voice like that. The urge to look tugged at the rat. Instead, he kept up his slow, deep breathing and closed his eyes.
He pictured the feline, sitting at a desk where the podium used to be. Monotone old white humans still sat behind him. Similarly dull photographers were in front of him, with press and television cameras mixed among them. An arc of microphones sat on the desk before him, hanging on his every word.
But the desk wasn't a shade of gray. It held a rich tan color of stained oak, polished so that some of the lights reflected off it a little.
The carnation in his suit jacket's lapel was a pale thistle color. But not pale as in faded. The color was solid, just not a dark color. His jacket was golden yellow. The vest and tie a little darker purple than the flower on his lapel.
The speaker had color.
The feline's fur was bright pink. But not a solid shade of it, so Robert doubted it was dyed. Hard to tell what kind of feline, though. Well, it wasn't a puma, but might be a panther or a lion without a mane. So probably a panther.
``I am, indeed, a panther, and can fulfill your every need for feline loving,'' the pink-furred cat said, loosening his tie.
``What?'' Robert gasped, jolting upright and looking at the television.
The figures on the television, including the feline, were all colorless still. The feline was talking about the neighborhoods in cities that had lost population and were now abandoned, dangerous locations, often times in the heart of larger cities. His suit and tie were all still in place. Robert had imagined the comment and return of colors. Everything was as bad as ever.
Robert leaned over and grabbed the remote from the side table and turned the television off.
Letting out a deep sigh, the rodent leaned back again. Robert closed his eyes again and reached up, running his fingers over his brow.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Stay calm. Things will get better. Hang on. Stop brooding.
His internal mantras were not as effective as they needed to be. The negative thoughts he'd had earlier had unbalanced his already shaky self control. Maybe news all the time was not just white noise.
The rat's ears flicked as an approaching rumble continued to get louder. It wasn't annoyingly loud, but definitely audible at a distance and coming closer.
Sounds like Natori's bike.
Robert sat up. He set the cookie container he'd been holding beside him on the couch and patted his shorts pocket before letting out a sigh. But then took a deep breath in and out before standing up and walking to look out the front window.
He recognized the engine. Well, Robert thought he did. But Natori wasn't supposed to be able to make it back to visit Bibi until Thursday. And it wasn't Thursday yet. Or was it?
I'm actually not sure. Should I go grab my phone to check?
The rat and lion had been inseparable friends since the first summer they had met. They kept in touch even outside the summers they both spent with their grandmothers.
Natori had called and apologized for not being able to make the funeral. He had been overseas for work and unable to get the time off. Robert had understood and had appreciated what little they had been able to talk with the time zones between them.
The lion had been one of the few who had been able to make it when Robert had lost his parents in the pandemic a few years ago. He shouldn't have risked his health, but then neither of them should have, but Robert refused to leave his parents final arrangements in the hands of overworked human bureaucrats assigned by the government to prevent bodies awaiting burial from piling up. With his friend's help, spots in a small cemetery run by a friend of his parents was able to assist with making sure that they were laid to rest respectfully in neighboring plots rather than a mass grave like the news occasionally showed beleaguered states using.
The two had them spent the rest of that longer than expected pandemic quarantine in the home Robert had grown up in. Several months after it was safe to do so, they had gone their own ways after getting things set up so that Robert could rent the place out. The market was not great for selling property at the time and the rat just had not been able to keep staying there without remembering his loss.
When Natori lost his parents last fall due to a hit and run by a drunk driver, Robert had been there for him. While it was absolutely as hard for the lion as it had been when the rat lost his parents, they both had practice dealing with such a massive loss. It did not make things easier, but at least meant they knew they had the tools to work through the grief. Fortunately, there were less issues outside the loss of his parents to deal with, but it had still been a rough couple of months before Natori's emotions were more easily managed by the lion.
The classic, burnt orange Harley-Davidson that Robert's friend had rebuilt pulled up and stopped in front of the house. It was something from the late 80s, though the rodent couldn't remember the model name or year any more. The rider flipped the kick stand and pulled off his helmet, revealing a thick mane with several strands in thin braids. While his mane styling might have changed a little, it was absolutely Natori.
Thursday or not, my best friend has made it. He's here. He's finally here!
Robert hopped back from the window and rushed to the door, opening it up quickly and stepping out on the porch. ``Hey! You can't park there!''
Natori was taking off his leather gloves as he looked up to see the rat who just shouted at him. ``Really? Gonna make me park down the street?''
``No. You're not parking on the street like some punk, you punk. Pull it back to the garage. Plenty of room for it there. You're not going to just drop by for a quick hello then heading out again.''
``Oh really? What if I just came to see Bibi?'' the lion chuckled, tossing his gloves in his upside down helmet resting on the cycle's seat.
``I know if you don't, she will come right over to see you. I also know she's got a full house with all the great-grand-kids and other relatives visiting for the summer, so it would be tight sleeping over there. I've got two more bedrooms than I can use all by myself, so you're staying here.''
The lion smirked, but didn't say anything for a moment, looking up and down the rat on the porch. Eventually he nodded. ``You going to stand there staring at me or go open the garage for me?''
``See you there, then,'' Robert said, hopping off the porch and jogging around the corner of the house to go down the long drive to the separate garage. His ears flicked as he heard his friend flip up the kickstand and start pushing the bike to the driveway to follow along.
The rat slid to a stop.
Silly rat, I will need my keys to open up the garage.
Robert turned around and headed back to the front door. Natori had already made it to the corner of the house. The lion paused and flipped the kickstand to steady the bike. ``You change your mind already? Didn't think you'd get tired of my company that quick.''
Robert shook his head as he walked up to his friend. ``No. You're absolutely staying. I just need the keys to open the garage and they're still in the house.'' He paused, staring into the feline's eyes. The rat's shoulders slumped a little.
Like everything else, the color has faded from Natori's gorgeous eyes.
The lion reached out resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. ``You okay out in this heat?''
Nodding, Robert gave half a grin. ``I'll be okay long enough to get you into the garage. I'm just so glad you're here.''
Natori wrapped his arms around Robert and gave him a tight hug. ``I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner.''
Robert hugged back, eyes closed tight. He took in the smell of his friend, the worn leathers the lion wore, the dust of the road he'd traveled. This contact, his best friend's presence; this was what he needed right now.
I've missed you so much, dear friend. I understand why you couldn't be here sooner, but I'm so thankful you're here now.
``I know you would have been here for me if you could. Your calls helped me keep pushing on through the worst of this.''
Then he caught a hint of something else in the air and started salivating a little.
Robert pulled back to look his friend in the eyes again as they continued holding each other. ``That better be an order of chili cheese fries from The Grease Pit that you have in your saddlebags that I'm smelling instead of something you ate before coming here.''
The lion's brows flicked up and down once as his grin grew. ``I know full well that as great as Bibi's food is, my rat is probably past due for some unhealthy fast food to comfort his soul.''
``You know me so well, my dear lion. While I love your grandmother's cooking, even her world class gumbo wasn't bringing back my appetite. But those fries... I didn't realize how bad I was craving them until I caught their scent.''
To punctuate his comment, Robert's belly let out a grumpy growl, making them both laugh.
In that moment, as they chuckled and looked each other in the eyes, a vibrant shade of gold swept back into Natori's eyes, a small splash of color that felt real to Robert.
