A bit of a personal vent piece describing my feelings on being nonhuman. So, first of all, I'm Therian, meaning I believe deep down in my heart and soul, I'm not human, but instead some manner of creature. In my case, a blend of wolf and dragon. This is deeper than just being a furry, who while they love creatures, do acknowledge and accept their humanity.
Being Therian, while I acknowledge my body is human, there's a deep sense of longing and desire to have more animalistic traits. I experience phantom limb like symptoms with my ears, tail, wings, etc. When I get excited and happy, I can feel my tail wag. When sad and scared, I can feel my ears fold down. When I stretch, I feel my wings expand along with my arms.
I incorporate the behaviors and habits of what I am in to my daily life. I wear a choker like a dog collar, as part wolf I quietly howl at the moon and growl and whine at times, as part dragon I hoard things I like, and do other creature activities. If it were socially acceptable, I'd wear ears and a tail out in public, too.
As someone who is transgender as well as Therian, I can say that the longing to be nonhuman is similar to the longing to be a girl. It took me a long time to have the language to express both desires and longings: dysphoria. And now that I have the language to express myself, I make active and passage changes to my life to live both as a girl and as a creature.
Do not get me wrong, I do not hate what I see in the mirror, especially compared to how I looked years ago pre-transition. I do like some aspects of my human appearance, mainly my hair. However, I long to see my reflection show back to me something less human and more creature.
I'm willing to answer any questions anyone has about my experience in particular , but I'm not an expert on the Therian experience in general nor the history of Therianism. That being said, I will do my best. Thank you so much if you've read this, and I hope that putting myself out there like this helps me to find others like me.
