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Today I was listening to some music, as I usually do when I'm doing some chores, and I paid attention to the chorus of the song "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode, which says the following:
"
All I ever wanted All I ever needed It's here in my arms Words are very unnecessary They can only do harm
Yes, I was alone listening to this song, and it made me think about something that I have already taken to therapy a few times: if we are not careful, our primitive need to live close to each other can do us a lot of harm, and we need to be vigilant about this.
For example, I have a personal friend (not the one who allows me to use his Paypal account, mind you), and he always has a hard time being alone. He was in a toxic relationship with an extremely possessive person, and, after several years, it ended in a breakup. Soon after the breakup, he started to become very attached to me, visiting me practically every day. I did my best to avoid being seen as uncomfortable with the situation, but his conversations always referred to his ex.
In any case, apparently this separation was bearing fruit; after just a few weeks, he managed to start attending college and find a reasonable job (reasonable by Brazilian standards); in short, things seemed to be moving forward. Until they weren't anymore. A few months later, he disappeared again, this time to get back with his ex. If before she was possessive, now she embodies the devil himself. She banned any and all contact with his friends, monitored his cell phone through web versions, and, of course, to live together, he had to leave his job and college. You know what's saddest part? He did that. Both I and other friends have had difficulty talking to him in months.
Which leads me to think again about the song's chorus: "All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, it's here in my arms." One of the things I took to my therapy was finding this balance between having company, which is necessary for us, and maintaining healthy company. One of the things that was said to me and helped me a lot is the following: "When you are comfortable with yourself, any and all company becomes optional, and you can better choose who you want or don't want around."
Are you embarrassed to go out alone? Why? Are you good company for yourself? If the answer is no, what is the reason? What can you do to improve this?
And you - have you ever been through or witnessed a similar situation? Just like the bear cub in the image, have you ever felt happy doing something alone, or is it always necessary to be with someone?
The idea behind these comments is just to cause a little reflection based on past experiences I've had, as well as try to remove some of the stigma around mental health. I am neither blind nor hypocritical to forget where we are or the fact that I also post lewd images frequently, but I rationalized: what better place than the furry community to talk about it? After all, we are so open about sex; why not also be open about other important things? Please remember, if you've been feeling unwell for a while, do seek professional help; it's made a huge difference in my life, and I'm sure it can do so in yours too. Stay well, and remember to take at least five minutes for yourself every day :3
good bear and very good discussion. could go lots of ways. people can be happy both ways but many don't realize it. can have good times alone or with others, but if there is some toxic pulling a person one way or the other, is not good.
good bear and very good discussion. could go lots of ways. people can be happy both ways but many do
