So about two years ago, I started trying to do art as therapy rather than as work or a vehicle for concrete ideas. It was really thanks to my partner that I was able to truly give it a go. I struggle a lot with making shapes for the sake of it, just playing around with form and color, and not trying to draw a specific thing. It's part of what I find therapeutic in using coloring books while exploring Little head space. There's a lot of tightly wound up ideas in my mind of what I ought to be doing while I draw, instead of what I want to be doing.
Sitting down with someone and coloring on either side of a page, just letting whatever comes out, come out, it was really challenging emotionally. This being my first time having some moderate success with it, you can see I still made some specific shapes. My bit is the bottom left corner area, where it's like... a wispy anthro head and some stuff. August made most of the rest of the shapes, all the little bits and bobs and eyes and dashes that are cascading out across most of the paper.
This also doubled as an exercise in trust and belonging, for me. I felt very scared to touch "his side" of the page or "mess up" his section, and saw myself keep all neat and tidy and tucked away in my corner that I gave myself permission to be in. I was repeatedly invited to color together and play in his side of the page, but I just wasn't able to get there in this one. It's been a few years since this drawing page, and I've made a lot of strides in both using art as play, and in giving myself permission to exist in space.
It's weird looking at this page of nonsense and seeing just how much I have to say about it. I hope maybe you can get something out of it too.
