Length: 1,446 words
Contains: Diaper Messing
From blank screens to computer screens, wallpapers with wide shots of massive mountains amidst colorful sunsets set the video up, a pleasurable sight supported by the equally pleasing pairing of piano keys.
“Hello there, and thank you for your interest in our Desktop Assistant Unit SH-4Y!” greets a feminine voice furthering the pleasantness with such pleasantries. “But, no need for the formalities! You can just call her Shay!”
And then, sweetly strolling from the right side of the screen as she smiles and waves, lo and lovingly behold, there’s the prominently most pleasant presence of all bedazzling even the blandest of MacBooks! Clover colored bows all the more adorable on lengthy black hair paired with shamrock skirt dresses just as stylish show she’s more than dressed for desktop success, and who could say no to those neon green eyes glowing with such glee? Boasting both the simplicity and style fit for such miniature marketable mascots, Shay’s ready to assist with no shortage of cute and childlike charm!
KAFWUMP!
Or….at least one would figure such a function would be fulfilled until sudden stumbles show she’s not just green in clothing and complexion. Perhaps positive perceptions will plummet after seeing Shay fall flat on her face, and even those in love with her cutesy looks could admit her appearance is a tad…too….childlike for their tastes as what’s shown around her waist is without the slightest doubt….a diaper. But, before several viewers feel slighted by an assistant donning diapers denoting dependency, before countless potential customers can consider this a scam, the speaker assures all she’s nothing but innocent.
“Like all virtual assistants, they get better the more you use them. Shay just requires a little more care to reach its full capabilities.” they say with that same sweet sincerity as the computer’s cursor scoops up the clumsiest of code based beings and plops her onto what people now know is a padded posterior.
The disembodied voice continues to drone on and on about data not even the diaper-clad client herself seems to care about while she turns around and stares wide-eyed at the wallpaper, soaking up the soothing colors of sunsets and the sublime sights of mountain ranges as though it’s not just nothing but a default background slapped onto screens the second someone signs in.
“All those logistics aside, we know having to assist your own assistant sounds like a lot, but don’t worry, there’s a quick way to tap into her potential.” says the speaker seconds later. “For the best results, simply feed her all your unneeded files!”
Immediately fixated on her favorite food, as though those tasty treats otherwise taken to the trash have tapped into her voice activated abilities, Shay swiftly scurries over to the open Finder tab, wasting not a single moment chowing down on every scrap of data taking up needless space.
MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!
CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!
Delicious image duplicates, immensely mouth-watering installers serving no more purpose, appetizing applications with no expiration dates despite several years without use, every single bite of those bytes is such scrumptious splendor to Shay as not a single frivolous file escapes her feast.
“Mmmmm! Yummy! Yummy!” reads a text bubble above her head.
Crumbs of code indicate quite the messy eater, but with computers all cleaned up and full of nothing but free space, the assistant proudly patting her tummy isn’t the only one’s who’s got reason to smile.
GROOOOOOOAN!! GUUUUUURGLE!!!
However, gassy gurgles from the green girl suddenly put her face in flux, causing it to shift from smiles, to shock, and to strain in split seconds as she shows that’s not the only part of her body shifting about.
“Mmmph….mmmph….”
Groans and grunts have now given everything away, though what the speaker’s set to say will give even the spectators doing nothing strenuous of the sort much less reason to maintain their smiles.
“That said, while feeding Shay files is the surefire way to successfully getting her to full capacity, let’s just say….you’ll have your own cleaning up to do as well.”
“Nnnnnngggh!”
PBLOOOOORMPH!!!….SLUUUUUUMP!!!
Nothing else is need of downloads, but Shay’s got still got lots of loads to address down below as jumbles of just eaten junk food cause this client to become a user and provide potently poopy reminders that she’s a program in pampers.
“Aaaaaah….”
Now donning a diaper taking none of the computer’s space despite all its lumps and slump, although artificial intelligence, even she knows the noxious deed she’s done is nothing but natural.
“Oopsie! I poopied!” says the smiling Shay not the least bit ashamed.
The speaker, undefiled by diapers full of files, then moves the cursor to click on the dirty data’s dress, causing her clothing to change to a mint green t-shirt totally exposing the attire in dire need of a change. Moments later, a click to her crowded crinkly garment makes the bot with boisterous bowels lay on her back while icons of wipes, powder, and padding appear from below and packed pampers are promptly placed in the trash.
Wipe…wipe…wipe
Poof…poof….poof
Fold…fold…fold
Those who couldn’t care less about being caregivers, much less witnessing digital diaper changes, may see this gadget as more of a trifling Tamagotchi than a useful tech tool, but soon sudden cuts to another clip show that a new diaper is far from the only change to Shay in store. Alongside her much taller stature, even the choice to maintain her most infantile attire marks a more mature machine now that it completely coordinates with her color scheme and has her code name on the front.
“But, once you’ve given her all that care, she’ll care for your computer in ways no program ever could!” the speaker says.
To prove that several packed pampers later comes a program with its potential unpacked, they then deliberately download a Trojan horse from only the best of the sketchiest sites, malware that’s no match for the one who’s always hungry enough to eat a horse in the face of files.
MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!
CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!
In but a few bites, what is but a scrumptious snack to Shay, threats that could have vaporized computers with a vanguard of anti-viruses are gone before they get their chance to strike. Simply letting out a gleeful giggle after gobbling that all down, she looks at the screen with the smile surely shared by its satisfied user, happy not only to have enjoyed the novel tastes and textures of Trojan horses, but also to have pleased the person in question.
“Mmmmm! I’ve never had one of those before!”
GUUUUUURRRGLE!!! GUUUUUURRRGLE!!!
“Ohhhh….ngggh…..I gotta…..mmmmph!”
BRAAAAAAAAAAP!!!
But now, having lots more to let out than a little laugh, devouring a whole virus gives her quite the stomach bug as she suddenly gets into a deep squat, her code crafted body begging for all that bad data to be dumped while constantly gurgling tummies and loudly shifting bowels signal a massive mess about to be made, though miraculously not one made by malware.
“Mmmmmmmmph!”
PBLAAAAAARMPH!!!…SLUUUUUUMP!!!
All those problematic potential pop-ups instead all plop down into her pampers as Shay shamelessly lets it all out. Every single solid making her diaper so much saggier only ensures machines are safe from error messages that could have been many magnitudes messier than diapers filled a thousand times as thoroughly.
“Nggggh!”
SPLOOOOOORTCH!!!
Data dumps are still not done as one more push purges the rest of that putrid pressure in much mushier form, causing her already loaded diaper to suddenly stain all around the front and back of the bottom. And yet, even a bunch more of those browns from her bowels would be the most beautiful sight compared to the blue screens meaning catastrophe for the computer.
“Aaaaahhh….”
With all now resolved, Shay exhales a soothed sigh of relief, a relief shared all the more soundly from anyone who would have unwittingly downloaded such a devastating virus, so much so that not even the sight of programs profusely pooping themselves, nor the persistence of toddler like traits from new tech, would upset them.
“Oopsie! I poopied!” she then says with an innocent smile.
Whether plethoras of programmed poopy diapers are worth Shay’s services is ultimately up to everyone else, but now that promotional content has met the purpose, all that’s left to be done is one last attempt to appeal as both her small and tall forms are shown smiling and waving behind a light green background.
“To find out just how much potential this program’s got, download Shay today!” the speaker then says before screens cut to black a second later.
End
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