The adult male dog who put a locomotive in the chip shop
By SteamLocoLtMtn
This story is based on the song “The Man Who Put The Engine In The Chip Shop” by Dave Goulder with some inspiration of “Thomas Comes To Breakfast” from Thomas The Tank Engine & Friends.
Ratings: General
(Hildenshire Sheds, Hildenshire, Northern Nathan; March 1939 at midnight)
(An adult male dog, presumably 23 years old and named Reggie, was rostered on a nightshift. After prepping up the steam locomotives to prepare them for the morning services, he had nothing to do. Then he spotted “N.o 4” which is the N.N.C.S.R CS40 Class 0-6-2 tender locomotive N.o C4404 sitting in the siding waiting for a crew)
Reggie: Hmmm…I wonder….
(Reggie silently slip away from the adult furry foreman’s sight, walked over to the N.o 4 and clambered into the cab. The “N.o 4” barely had any steam as the crew just lit the firebox.)
Reggie: Hmmmm….
(The adult male dog shovel some coal into the firebox, released the brakes and open the regulator in hopes to get “N.o 4” rolling but the locomotive didn’t move)
Adult male furry foreman: Reggie, oh Reggie! Where has that silly dog gone?!
Reggie: Coming!
(Reggie climbed down from the cab of “N.o 4” but as he walked away, the hours pasted and the steam pressure rose, as the morning sun rose; “N.o 4” began to move on her own)
CS40 N.o C4404: (yawns) Is it time for work driver?
(Then “N.o 4” realised that there was no driver or fireman)
CS40 N.o C4404: Help! Help! I can’t stop!
Adult male cat guard: What in the…..!
(Meanwhile, back at the sheds where Reggie was working, the adult male furry foreman came inside with a troubling frown)
Adult male furry foreman: Reggie, have you seen the “N.o 4”? She’s not on the siding when I went on my inspection rounds.
(Reggie puts his hand on mouth when he heard about it)
Reggie: Oh biscuits.
(The “N.o 4” crossed several turnout points until she was on the mainline.)
CS40 N.o C4404: I can’t stop! Someone, help me!
Adult male cat guard: (while telephoning the adult furry signalman) We have a runaway locomotive with no driver and fireman.
The adult furry signalman: Ah! All traffic halted!
(Various semaphore signals set at stop/danger position, the adult furry signalman then bites on chew toy to prevent himself from cursing)
(The “N.o 4” went faster and faster in the countryside, she saw the crossing gates closed but she couldn’t stop)
(Crash!)
CS40 N.o C4404: Ouch!
(But she continued on carrying the remains of the crossing gates with her. The other adult furry signalman changed the points which diverted the “N.o 4” in to a set of buffers at the station)
CS40 N.o C4404: Oh no!
(Unfortunately, the buffers stood no chance as the “N.o 4” charged the buffers, wearing it like a crown, breaks through a wooden fence, a footbridge and even knocking down a telegraph pole. Her wheels crunch the tarmac road of the town and headed straight towards a chip shop)
CS40 N.o C4404: HORRORS!
(The “N.o 4” shut her eyes as she crash at the side door of the chip shop and came to rest. The chip shop rocked with bricks and plaster peppered on the “N.o 4” and the most of the area of the chip shop. All the adult furry customers got quite a shock)
The adult female cat cook: You miserable engine! Just look what you’ve done with the customer’s chips, now I shall cook some more!
(As the rescue operations took place, Reggie was doing his job until the adult furry rescue manager, the adult male dogs who are the driver and fireman of “N.o 4”, the adult furry foreman and The Strict Director, as an adult male human found him looking very cross.)
Adult furry rescue manager: So, was it you that put the locomotive in the chip shop.
Reggie: Yes.
The Strict Director: You have caused Trouble and Strife! Just what were you thinking of letting a runaway happen like that?
Reggie: Okay, I am the one who did that.
The Strict Director: Get to my office, right now!
(In the end, Reggie was suspended from working as shed cleaner for a whole month until The Strict Director could trust Reggie with his role again. As for the “N.o 4”, she been taken to Hildenshire Works for repairs. From that point on, any adult furry foremen must keep a watchful eye on their staff to reduce the same incident from happening again)
(End)
