2:43 am
The clock ticked in rhythm, letting the world know of each second going by.
It was a dark, cold, night with stars in the sky and still air. The world was mostly asleep now, dreaming of happy thoughts. Tucked under their warm blankets and windows shut for the winter that ravished the town.
But one male tossed and turned in his sheets. His turbulent mind was as dark as the night sky with no stars for a guiding light. It was a cold place to be in the middle of the night and his own body fought against his feelings, trying to numb them out.
But it was to no avail.
“Shadow. Promise me you’ll protect them. Promise me!”
Shadow’s mind screamed the words that paved his way in life. In a way they were haunting him and cursing his very existence. Oh chaos, how many times he had failed to live up to those promises. To live up to what she wanted for the dark red striped male.
She. Her.
Maria.
Shadow couldn’t take it anymore and practically ripped the sheets off of his body. Sitting up in his bed, it creaked under the weight of his movements making too much noise for such a quiet night.
The air nipped at his fur as he put on his rusted and worn shoes. They fit like a glove, still, as he pulled them over his warm feet. Feet that were blistered from running throughout his job and restless nights that took a toll on him. It was a fate to be had for the ultimate life form; a fate he would not wish on his worst enemies.
Death maybe, but to suffer in this world so tragically? Never.
“Damnit.” Shadow whispered under his breath as he rubbed his face. He knew he probably had eye bags darker than his fur at this point. His legs felt heavy and his body ached under him, it begged for rest.
“Sayonara. Shadow the Hedgehog.”
Shadow was out the door in 2 seconds, not realizing he had woken up the other male sleeping in the next room over.
---
The wind was cold on a tan and black face but the male didn’t mind. He welcomed the bite of it and pushed further into his rocket shoes. They propelled him forward at a frightening pace and launched him out of his head. He burned tracks into the dirt and grass below him but he didn’t care enough to lower the heat.
He needed to get away from his thoughts and he needed to do it now.
Through the twist and turns of the forest, to the wide open fields, and into a rocky passageway he went. He knew exactly where he was going and even though he had made this journey many times before, he never got tired of it. Even in the dead of night it kept him calm.
The ultimate life form kept going until he felt like he was on the edge of the world. Stopping at a giant cliff looking over the black ocean. The tides smashed against the dark rock and the breeze blew off of the salty sea. White caps formed in the distance and he watched them swell into giant waves that were as turbulent as his mind.
Shadow breathed in the salty air and sat down. Legs curled into his torso he sat there quietly with rushing thoughts. He tried his best to focus on the sound of the ocean to pacify himself but it was hard when thinking about the dead.
“Maria.” Shadow whispered. “I miss you.” He said before looking out past the vast ocean into the stars. The wind blew back at him like it was calling out to him. Like it was a response to his words, at least, he pretended it was.
Shadow’s ear flicked at the sound of rushing air behind him and he knew exactly what it was. He groaned under his breath as his ear flicked once more.
“Hey.” A soft voice spoke out. A voice Shadow knew all too well.
“Sonic.”
“Shadow…” Sonic barley whispered as he stepped closer to the hunched over male. With his back still turned to him the blue hero knew something was wrong. He knew the moment he heard the door close at 3 am in the morning. Shadow often had these nights where he would leave suddenly, and most of the time it was due to something internal.
Sonic slowly stepped next to the male and sat down to the right of him. He crossed his legs over each other and let his shoulders fall. He smelled the clean fresh air and just kept quiet.
They said nothing at first.
“Bad night, huh?” Sonic said stupidly before looking at the other male beside him. Shadow scoffed at the male and just kept his gaze straight. Out of everything that blue pest had to say, it was something so obvious that it was almost funny.
“Yeah, ok, stupid question.” The cobalt hero said while scratching the back of his neck.
“You think?” Shadow protested.
“Sorry.” Sonic whispered as his ears drooped. He was still getting used to his boyfriend's dark nights. He wasn’t exactly the best when it came to comforting others. Especially when it came to Shadow since his situation was so delicate. It was hard not to say the wrong thing or to seem obnoxious in a way. It was just Sonic’s nature to look at the positive side of things, even when the situation did not call for it.
“Thinking about he–”
“Yes.” Shadow interrupted coldly, not even wanting Sonic to say his situation out loud. Or it would seem too real in the moment, even though it was. It would just solidify all the bad shit that had happened. Of course the striped hedgehog wanted it to be a nightmare, but reality kicked him time and time again.
Sonic sighed softly. “I’m sorry.” He said once again making Shadow go quiet once more.
The air was tense between the two males as minutes passed by. Sonic had no idea what to say or do in this situation and Shadow just couldn’t bring himself to talk about it. He somewhat felt embarrassed that he couldn’t move on like others who go through trauma. He felt weak and alone even with Sonic here.
“Shadow,” Sonic paused and swallowed his nervousness. “You know I’m here for you anytime you need me. Or if there’s anything you need to say I will listen.”
“I know.”
“And you know I–” Sonic blushed slightly. “Ya know…” He trailed off.
“I know.” Shadow parroted.
Sonic scooted closer to his lover so that their shoulders were touching. Their heat radiated off of each other making the night less cold. Sonic’s tail wagged slightly when Shadow made no move to scootch away from him or his touch. And Shadow never said anything but noticed it making him feel slightly better.
“Are you cold? Do you want a blanket? I can grab you one.” The blue hero asked.
Shadow rolled his eyes. His boyfriend was like a doting mother, always worrying about him in such a sickishly caring way. It made his insides flutter ever so slightly. He was just like Maria in that sense; actually Sonic was a lot like Maria.
He shook his head and quietness settled between them once more.
Shadow’s ear twitched once again as Sonic shuffled beside him. Red eyes slid to the side to see his boyfriend sitting face forwards to him. A sad look of worry settled into those emerald eyes he loved so much, a face that was all too familiar.
The dark male shifted so he was facing the hero as well and they looked into each other's eyes. Green eyes looked over Shadow’s face in worry as red ones quickly looked down at the grass instead.
“Can–Can I touch you? You can say no.” Sonic whispered hesitantly. He remembered the last time he tried to touch Shadow in this state of mind without his permission. It didn’t end well for either of them, so asking would be safest.
Shadow sat there quietly, thinking over that question. And Sonic waited patiently for a few minutes, ears pricked up to hear any answers.
Finally, “Yes.” Shadow whispered so quietly the cobalt hero almost didn’t catch it.
The air was still as a gloved blue hand reached out, slowly. Shadow’s ears drew back slightly at the hand before the palm settled gently on his left cheek. Sonic instantly rubbed circles with his thumb against the tan fur causing black ears to return to their normal position.
Shadow retained a whine as he closed his eyes. Sonic’s touch always made him feel something indescribable in him, something he couldn’t place his finger on.
Sonic looked over the bags that tainted tan fur. He sighed in sadness and regret. He felt helpless in moments like this. What could he do? He felt useless as a lover and a friend. He already knew the world was cruel and unfair, but this? This was another form of torture. How could someone with such a big heart go through so much? If he could shoulder the burden for Shadow, he would.
The blue male leaned forwards and placed his forehead against a striped black one. Shadow made no move to get away and so they stayed like that. Breathing in each other’s entire souls to better understand each other.
“I wish I could take this all away from you.” Sonic whispered softly.
“What?” Shadow asked.
Sonic gently placed his other hand over Shadow’s other cheek. “If I could shoulder these feelings for you. I would.” He tried to explain.
“Sonic–” Shadow tried to say before he was interrupted.
“It’s not fair. Why do you have to go through this? I wish I could take away all your pain. I wish you could always be happy Shadow. You don’t deserve this.” Sonic practically cried, voice shaky and quiet. Like it would crack at any given moment.
“Sonic.” Shadow whispered in relief. Red eyes finally met glassy green ones. And with that the ultimate life form could witness the tears that were being shed for his own pain. He saw the tears that were only for him and his situation. His lover was crying because of the painful past that he went through.
Tears that were not meant for their owner, but for another.
Shadow wiped each one away gently. “The world made me shoulder these burdens, Sonic. As they have made you in the past as well.”
“I know. I just wish I understood why.” Sonic sniffled.
“As do I. I miss her Sonic, every single day. It hurts. It hurts so much…”
Sonic gently kissed Shadow’s forehead. “I know you do. And I know you’re hurting my love. And you are allowed to feel these things. I may not understand, but I can try to.” A blue covered hand gently stroked Shadow’s quills.
“Not tonight.” Shadow said before going quiet and letting himself be pet and held. It felt so comforting for his weary bones and broken heart.
The cobalt hero gazed out at the sea before asking, “when was the last time you slept?”
Shadow kept quiet, trying to find the answer to that question. “I don’t know. 2 weeks ago.”
“Alright, I can try and help you with that. Do you want to stay with me tonight? There’s plenty of room in my bed.” Sonic invited. “I kinda miss sleeping next to you. You’re like a mini furnace ya know.”
Shadow chuckled. “So I've been told.”
“There’s that smile I love.” Sonic chuckled as his lover rolled his eyes. Shadow shifted so he was sitting next to his lover once more.
“Ya know, I’ve never told anyone this.” Shadow started before stopping, wondering if he should even share this.
Sonic took his lover's hand and squeezed. “If there’s anything you need to tell me I’m here. But don’t feel pressured. I know this is a hard time for you and I want you to feel comfortable.” He said before looking out into the ocean.
Shadow took a deep breath and willed his body to calm itself. “You and Maria are a lot alike.” He said before continuing. “You’re both fierce and eager to learn. She loved adventure as much as you and her heart was as big as the suns. She was also willing to help everyone she could, even if they had done wrong.” Shadow said sadly, squeezing his hand to ground himself. “Like you.”
Sonic smiled softly. “She sounds like a wonderful, fun person.”
“She was.” Shadow voice broke as he said that. Even after all this time he could barely fathom her being gone from this world. To live on the planet she so desperately wanted to be a part of.
“If you want to, we can take a moment of silence for her. For all of the ones we’ve lost.” Sonic suggested, looking at Shadow’s face for a confirmation.
Shadow nodded and they both closed their eyes. The breeze blew through them as the ocean waves still crashed against the rocks. The stars twinkled over them and the silence was louder than ever, yet it was peaceful and less angry. Like the world was finally piercing itself back together stitch by stitch.
Shadow was the first to speak. “I’m tired.” He said.
“You must be.” Sonic said before getting up and stretching. “Want me to save you a spot in my room?” The cobalt hedgehog asked while folding down his socks over his shoes. “There’s always room for one more in my bed for you. If you want it.”
“Ok.” Shadow said softly before yawning. The mental acrobats in his head were finally catching up to him and were taking a toll on his body. He felt heavier than before and he was glad he had the chaos emerald with him. He didn’t know if he could make it back to the house without collapsing.
“Ready when you are.” Sonic said before holding his lover's hand.
Shadow took one last look at the view in front of him. He said goodbye to Maria once again before chaos controlling them into Sonic’s room.
Shadow looked around at the newly required trinkets that were placed on the bookshelf as Sonic took off his socks and shoes. He watched his lover exit the room to grab extra pillows and blankets for him as he went back to perusing the ornaments.
As he was doing so he stopped dead in his tracks at a picture at the back of the bookshelf that was almost hidden completely. A photo that he had never seen before. He squinted his eyes and turned his head to look at the worn down photo behind the glass frame. He heard some shuffling around outside of the room and decided to take a quick peak.
In the picture was a much younger looking Sonic with a big grin on his face. The hero had sun glasses on that were a little too small for him. His arm was wrapped around a girl he had never seen before with an open blue vest and short brownish red hair. Her eyes were a shiny vibrant blue color and she had a beautiful smile. They looked to be a couple in the photo with the way they were slotted together.
“Hm.” Shadow pondered before quickly getting into bed as he heard Sonic come back into the room.
“Here. I got you your favorite pillow.” The blue male said as he laid it down on the bed. Shadow thanked him and moved over to let his lover in.
The bed was quickly warming up with the two of them huddled together. Both males laid on their backs and stared up at the ceiling. Silence took over the room as Shadow’s eyes became droopy and his body sunk into the bed.
His mind was wondering who that girl was in the picture. Clearly Sonic had hidden the picture in the back so that no one would be able to see it unless they really looked. But that was a question for another night, he had a hunch it was someone in Sonic’s past that was personal to him. He had never brought it up before and it wasn’t good to pry.
Sonic was facing away from Shadow and was fast asleep already, snoring softly. Shadow smiled to himself and decided to just try and sleep as well.
After pulling up the covers over his and Sonic’s shoulders, he scooted closer to his lover and draped his arm around his thin waist. He heard a satisfying hum out of Sonic when Shadow buried his face into blue quills.
“I love you. Wake me up if you need anything, ok?” Sonic whispered tiredly into the pillow.
Shadow gently kissed Sonic’s neck and pulled his lover's body, taught, against his. “I love you too. And I will.”
The two fell asleep that early morning with Shadow’s mind less chaotic. He remembered the waves crashing against the harsh rocks and Sonic’s soft kisses against his temple. He grounded himself with his lover’s warm body and felt the sheets under him. It wasn’t perfect, nothing was in this world, but it was perfect enough for him.
And as he saw Maria in his dreams that night, he hugged her one last time before waking up next to his lover.
