Failure [Vent Art]

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by xOutoftheShadows13x

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Pony Stuff

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I mean, what more needs to be said, honestly? My life's a fucked up mess and there's no way for me to fix it on my own, so I'm powerless and hopeless. I guess I should have just stayed at a job that was killing my body and desecrating my mind to do, I guess it would have been fine for my depression to get worse and commit suicide or something. Or just end up in the hospital, passed out from being overworked, no sleep, and underfed. These people don't care about me here, not the real me, just what all I can do for them and how much money I can make. But ME? No, I don't matter, my health doesn't matter, nothing matters.

"In sickness and in health" MY FUCKING HAIRY ASSHOLE. I'm so glad I didn't marry you...I would have been really screwed over more than I am now. And I can't believe I let my fate and my life rest in your fucking hands...what the hell was I thinking? I should have NEVER centered men in my life, and I see that now. All they'll do, especially if they are broke when you meet them, is destroy your life and will to even live. Once they are good, it's fuck you to the moon, and you and your life can go burn for all they care. Someone who is biologically female shouldn't have to kill themselves for money, I already have reproductive issues that really really affect me. Are your testicles about to explode? No? Then fuck OFF with all these expectations on me.

I really wanted to believe that I mattered more than fucking money. What a joke my life is, there I go thinking that I fucking mattered. Sad to think I don't matter over a dog or a cat. I just don't, and I'm a HUMAN FUCKING BEING.

I'm also considering going to rehab, not that I can actually afford it, but I'm so tired of weed's hooks being in me and only allowing me for shit jobs. Just considering it, I don't think I can stop on my own and around such stressful conditions. And it also destroys me inside that I can never escape capitalism, none of us can, and we aren't getting out of this shit in one piece. Also FUCK the holidays!!!! t(>.<t)

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