Heart So Heavy

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by xOutoftheShadows13x

Gallery

Dragons

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My heart still lies in ruins and I never really gotten the opportunity to just...sit with it. To just really feel it and be able to let it go better before up and starting a job and started stupid bad medication that's affecting me even worse...I'd rather just cry my eyes out all the time. I also kinda miss aspects of being with my ex totally...not everything was terrible, and I can see now where I did contribute to the downfall of this relationship...and I did indeed, cheat. A long time ago, and the relationship was never the same ever since. You can't say you forgive someone if you treat them with such disrespect the entire time and treat them like nothing even still, or more so after the blunder. It was indeed a huge mistake, that happened several times. I was just bored. I just wanted new experiences and new things, I was young when we met and didn't even know myself or what I really wanted. But over time I did fall in love. I just messed up royally, and wanted a poly thing but couldn't ever get him to be okay with that, so I went and fucked some friends anyway like a jackass would do (and I really, really regret it and have to live with that pain every single day...is that not punishment enough?). And I'll probably never have my poly thing, that just doesn't happen around these parts. I do hope we can reach some kind of agreement, some kind of understanding, and even just have things go back to how they used to be affection wise. Sure, he didn't give me enough of it, but even some was better than none. Even an illusion of love, is better than the opposite...hatred. There has been too much of it lately, and I miss the love I did have, and helped to ruin. I wasn't the only one responsible for wrecking everything though, and hopefully sometime he does recognize the things he did to contribute to me getting sicker and more insane. Now I probably am taking a break from art, I'm not only out of ideas but my body and mind is so out of whack, and a heart too broken and heavy. And I doubt we could ever truly be together, ever again, and it hurts...a lot. Nor would it just work us ever being together again...I just need some kind of affection of the past, big time...just don't know if that'll ever happen.

There's a song that goes to this. And Goodbye by Odyssey Eurobeat.

"I can remember the way
It felt to have you in my system again
The kind of comfort you gave
As you would whisper reasons I should give in

How much have I given you
Over my command
I thought you were in control
Now I understand

Thank you and goodbye, I will move on without you in the end
Every hope and doubt, I can grow without you
Pulling me right back again
Thank you and so long, you were not everything that I could be
Facing to the wind, I will soon begin
To realize a better me"

Keywords

dragon 140,937, blue 19,513, doodle 16,135, transgender 15,391, tears 9,767, trans 6,154, ftm 1,637, sadness 1,369, colored sketch 1,226, depression 1,018, transsexual 492, hybrid dragon 260, regret 231, heartbreak 175, wings of fire 128, wof 87, broken heart 64, megahybrid 3, wings of fire dragon 3, heavy heart 2, wof oc 2, brokenhearted 1, wings of fire oc 1

Details

Type: Picture/Pinup

Published: 7 months ago

Rating: General

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