Kris grunted as they hammered away at their controller, trying every move and countermove to stay in this game. Though it didn't matter how hard they slammed the buttons or how perfectly they angled their joystick, they knew that they were on the ropes. They were one stock down and already taking enough damage that this would likely become a two-stock deficit in only a matter of moments.
It didn't help that their boyfriend was an utter god at Smash, seeming to think three moves ahead at all times.
``Game and Watch is so cheap,'' Kris grumbled.
Berdly chuckled and shook his head. ``Now see here, Kris, it's not my fault that few minds are large enough to truly appreciate the significance of such a classic video game hero. Plus... Marth is kind of a shit match up anyways.''
Kris snorted. ``Oh yeah, if Marth is so shit then...''
They hammered the controller and went in for the kill. Only, Game and Watch grabbed Marth at the last second and immediately yeeted him into the virtual stratosphere, nicely putting them at a two-stock deficit.
``Motherfucker!'' Kris roared, scrunching their nose as they thrust an accusatory finger at Berdly. ``That was so cheap.''
``Now, now, Kris, no one likes a sore loser,'' Berdly chided, looking oh so smug with that proud little smile now upon his beak.
Kris glared at him. ``I've seen you play CS:GO.''
``Well, that's completely different,'' Berdly grumbled, rolling his eyes. ``Monster Eastern Europe is full of cheap hackers who are inhumanely good with the AWP. Plus, having a heated gamer moment is far more acceptable when it is not amongst friends and is done in the privacy of your own home.''
``You do tend to have a lot of heated gamer moments,'' Kris teased.
Berdly snorted. ``Do I?''
``I mean, I've seen the number of hours you have in Hearts of Iron IV,'' Kris chided, grinning at him like an absolute brat. ``Just saying dude... that's a little sus.''
``There is nothing sus about being interested in history,'' Berdly declared, puffing out his chest. ``It's a very refined hobby.''
``And exactly how many of those hours were spent on the Monster Reich?'' Kris then asked, still holding onto that bastardly little smile.
Berdly drew in a breath and looked off the side. ``That is... completely irrelevant to this discussion.''
``Uh huh,'' Kris said. Their smile didn't waiver in the slightest, gaining an additional hint of predatory glee.
They were about to go in for a kill with Marth, once again, maybe closing the gap just a little. Though as they lunged at Game and Watch, the little pixelated demon jumped up and did a down smash, slamming Kris' character into the abyss like a lead weight.
Kris growled. ``Cocksucker.''
Berdly roared with laughter, wiping at his eye. ``Who is having the heated gamer moment now, Kris!''
``Shut up!'' Kris grunted, folding their arms in front of their chest. They shot their boyfriend a sharp glare though found it remarkably hard to stay mad at him for too long. Curse his kind of cute dorkiness and the way it made their anger just evaporate in a heartbeat.
Berdly brought them back to the menu and cycled through to another match, moving away from Game and Watch and placing his cursor upon Zelda.
``How about a rematch?'' he asked.
Kris shook their head. ``Nah, I think I need a bit of a break after getting my ass kicked that bad.'' They then smirked. ``Also, I didn't take you as someone who would pick Zelda.''
``I mean, I do enjoy playing female characters from time to time,'' Berdly replied, chuckling as he held a hand to his chest. ``Try not to get too jealous, Kris, but I do in fact enjoy the company of such fair virtual maidens from time to time. Still, while they may be visually appealing, there is only room in my heart for one beloved and that's you.''
Kris snorted, hating that such a stupid line actually managed to make them smile.
They briefly turned their attention towards their backpack, picking it up off of the floor and placing it within their lap. As they reached inside, they pulled out a whipped cream gun and a box of cartridges for it, putting them both down beside themself.
While they did this, Berdly exited Smash and went over to one of the Zelda games that he had downloaded. ``Well maybe I could show you a thing or two about this game instead.''
Kris smirked and looked down at their whipped cream gun. ``Did you know that in Breath of the Wild there is a unique sword that can only be unlocked by one-hundred-percenting the game in under twenty hours?''
Berdly cocked a brow and motioned for Kris to continue. Bless his heart for seeming so skeptical about this fact.
Kris twisted the cartridge holder off of the gun and slipped a fresh canister inside of it before snapping it back in place. It took a bit of elbow grease but soon they managed to firmly secure it, resulting in a familiar hiss and a coolness ebbing through the metal and gliding across their fingers.
``Yeah, the sword is uh...'' They hid their thin smile by looking away. ``It's dropped by mind goblins somewhere around the north part of the map.''
As they looked back, Berdly's gaze was locked on the screen. ``Did you say the north part of the map?''
Kris nodded, using pretty much all of their willpower not to snicker. ``Yep.''
``I don't recall there being any such enemies like that up there,'' Berdly whispered, their gaze narrowing. ``What's a mind goblin?''
Kris roared with laughter. ``Mind gobbling these nuts.''
Berdly glared at them, letting out such a wonderfully exasperated sigh. ``Very funny, Kris. How very mature of you.''
Kris laughed even harder, clutching at their stomach as they did so.
``So, what's that thing you're holding?'' Berdly asked, nodding to the whipped cream gun in their hand.
Kris looked at it. ``Oh uh... I have asthma.''
``So do I,'' Berdly quipped, lifting a brow. ``But why is it so big?''
``Well, you know... I have uh... I have a lot of asthma and I need a pretty big inhaler to deal with,'' Kris answered as they nervously flashed a smile in Berdly's direction. ``Speaking of...''
They brought the stem up their lips and pressed the trigger, drawing that sweet gas right into their lungs. A few seconds dragged along and they only stopped once they had their fill. At which point, they pulled the gun away, holding their breath and retaining this wonderful chemical inside of themselves for as long as they could.
Their focus turned to the screen as they watched Berdly mount his horse and go riding off across the plains. It seemed that they were destined to watch some side content today.
Then, just as Kris' lung began to ache, they let out their nitrous-rich breath and took in a regular one. The world suddenly became very floaty, their focus faltering as they let a stupid little smile spread across their lips. It was hard to worry about things when their mind felt this blank, like it was doing its best to leave their body.
``I'm starting to highly doubt that your `inhaler' is actually an inhaler,'' Berdly quipped.
Kris snickered. ``Hey babe?''
``Yes?'' Berdly asked, seeming more than a little terse.
Kris leaned to the side and rested their cheek against their boyfriend's shoulder, enjoying the softness of his feathers. ``Do you remember Call of Duty?''
``Yes, I remember Call of Duty,'' Berdly said, sounding very unamused.
``Did you know that they were planning to do a secret human campaign in the fourth one?'' Kris asked, snickering to themselves. Even they knew they sounded intoxicated. ``But they cut it because they didn't want us playing as the baddies.''
``I don't believe you,'' Berdly chided.
Kris snorted. ``It's true though!''
``Uh huh,'' Berdly replied. ``Do you know any fun Overwatch facts?''
``Did you know that Cassidy used to be named McCree?'' Kris asked.
Berdly scoffed and shook his head. ``That's not a fun fact, Kris, that's just...'' He shuddered. ``That's just depressing.''
Kris snorted and once more cracked open the cartridge holder on their whipped cream gun, dumping the empty canister into their bag before slipping a fresh one into the chamber. Yet again, all it took were a few turns before the familiar hiss could be heard and a chill radiated through the metal and danced across their fingertips.
Their attention was exclusively on the screen, watching Berdly do some platforming to climb up towards a collectible.
``Alright, what are some other fun game facts?'' Berdly asked.
Kris hummed, nuzzling into their boyfriend's neck. ``Did you know that originally, they were going to call Donkey Kong, `Monkey Madness', in the west. The only reason they didn't go through with it was because Nintendo thought it would be politically incorrect after a mailman went postal in Home City.''
``Okay that one sounds like it could be real,'' Berdly said.
``All the best lies are like that,'' Kris explained, holding a hand to their chest. ``Didn't you know that you were dating a real shitposter.''
``God, you really are such a shitposter,'' Berdly grumbled though offered a genuine smile. ``My dearly beloved internet troll.''
Though Kris could see that their expression had slipped a little, their gaze turned towards the item that lingered in Kris' hands.
``Okay new question...'' Berdly started, working his jaw. ``What are you huffing?''
``Uh something that would make you extremely concerned if you knew what it really was,'' Kris explained before snapping their fingers together. ``Oh hey, look, a random change of subject.'' They flashed a cheeky smile. ``Did you know that in Old School Runescape the community once devolved into civil war when Jagex held a vote on whether or not to remove one mineable rock from Varrock's iron supply and replace it with coal.''
Berdly chuckled and shook his head. ``Brat. I'm not letting you off the hook that easily.''
``Want to try some?'' Kris asked, holding out the whipped cream gun and shaking it back and forth. ``I promise that it'll make you feel good.''
``No thank you, dearest Kris, I prefer if my mind were not eroded with whatever strange... substances you were huffing,'' Berdly chided, leaning over and giving them a little kiss upon the very top of their head. ``Err... no offense.''
``None taken.'' Kris smirked. ``I know full well that I'm eroding my uh... mental faculties or whatever.''
They brought the stem of the gun back toward their lips, pressing the trigger and sending another burst of gas right into their lungs. This time they took even more in and ensured that they held it for even longer, shivering as it worked its way through their system. By the time they exhaled, they were twitching slightly though they felt like they were on cloud nine.
``Did you know they wanted to put Master Chief in Smash?'' Kris asked, their voice sounding so distant.
Berdly snorted. ``Is that so?''
``But they didn't want to add another projectile based character to it,'' Kris explained. ``It'd be bad for balance or something.''
``Or something,'' Berdly repeated, sounding so wonderfully amused. ``Do you have any more pieces of elite gamer knowledge to provide to me?''
Kris smirked. ``Did you know that Game Theory is full of fucking hacks.''
``That's... actually a very real video game fact,'' Berdly replied.
``I know though I just felt like saying it,'' Kris teased, feeling their faculties slowly return to them. ``Oh, oh oh...'' they snapped their fingers together. ``Did you know that in Mario 64 if you do a few backflips over Peach, her boobs will constantly get bigger due to a floating-point error in the game's code.''
``Kris...'' Berdly gave them a look before offering a rather pronounced roll of his eyes. ``I fell for that like five years ago, you aren't fooling me with that one again.''
``It was a valiant effort,'' Kris said, snickering.
``Do you want to know a true video game fact that's actually real?'' Berdly asked.
Kris perked up. ``Sure.''
``You're cute,'' Berdly replied, giving them a peck on the cheek.
That very same cheek warmed and Kris couldn't help but surrender a goofy little smile. ``How is that a gaming fact, Berdly?''
``Because you're a gamer, Kris,'' Berdly answered, grinning to himself. ``And thus, facts about you are video game facts. In fact, I'd say that you are amongst the highest score of them all and are more precious to me than any platinum trophy.'' He smirked and winked at them. ``Even the one I got in Final Fantasy XV!''
``Angel, you really are such a fucking dork,'' Kris grumbled though they knew that they were blushing even brighter.
``And now you're stuck with me,'' Berdly ribbed. He once more glanced at the whipped cream gun in Kris' hand. ``Though I think you should maybe consume less substances that meddle with your brain chemistry.''
``But fucking with my brain chemistry is fun,'' Kris replied, pouting out their lower lip. ``You know, considering the amount of hentai you read, I thought you'd love to hang out with a girl who is aiming to get mind broken by strange drugs.''
Berdly's cheek warmed to such a wonderfully bright shade of red, practically glowing through the shroud of blue feathers that covered his face. ``And uh... how exactly do you know about my reading habits?''
``I looked under your bed,'' Kris teased.
``We are not talking about this,'' Berdly chided, shooting them a warning look. ``I will hear nothing more about my literary choices, thank you very much.''
``Whatever you say...'' Kris replied. Though they allowed a shit eating grin to spread from ear to ear. ``Senpai.''
Berdly groaned and flopped back against the sofa, smacking a hand over top of his burning face. It was a valiant effort to hide his blush but there was really only so much that he could do about it.
``Listen,'' he said.
Kris grinned, idly twisting open the cartridge holder and dumping another spent canister into their backpack. ``Oh, I'm listening.''
``Those books were purchased for their artist merit and are designed to be research material to help me with...'' Berdly began, drawing his hand away from his face so he could instead idly roll it through the air. It took him a bit to search for the right word. ``I read them for their articles!''
It seemed that he was done with this conversation as he instead unpaused the game, once more mounting his horse and speeding off away across the plains. Though the ever present red still lingered in his cheeks, a reminder of how Kris had gotten under his skin.
``The articles...'' Kris scoffed, not letting him off that easy. ``That... that excuse doesn't even work when it comes to hentai! It's not like it's a freaking Playboy or something.''
``Sure, it does!'' Berdly yelped. ``There are plenty of enlightened and non-sexual subjects covered in these stories which I find most intriguing. In fact, all of the sex parts are more than a little contrived and are utterly boring, in my honest opinion.''
Kris shook their head and slotted another canister into the gun, twisting it shut and sending a hiss of gas shooting into the chamber. Without a second's delay, they brought it to their lips and squeezed the trigger.
``So, me and Noelle are going to the library tomorrow to work on that group project,'' Berdly said, glancing at Kris for a second before focusing once more on the TV. His lip twitched, likely borne from the discomfort of Kris doing yet another whippet. ``Maybe you and Susie should tag along.''
Kris held the gas within their lungs, starting to feel the familiar tingle and light-headedness that came with consuming a substance such as this. It felt utterly euphoric, making them shiver with such unrestrained glee.
Only...
This time Kris didn't come down from the high.
Why weren't they coming down?
The screen on the TV momentarily went black as it went to a loading screen, giving Kris' body a chance to catch its reflection. And Kris felt their being lurch as they noticed that a pair of glowing red eyes stared right back at them.
Was it stupid to do dissociative drugs? Yes.
Was it even stupider to do them when there was that thing waiting in the wings to take over? Yes, even more so and it would seem that they were paying the price for it.
They had thought they'd earned a reprieve, a break. The being rarely made itself known while they were in the company of Berdly. There was always a tension over Kris' relationship with him, an unwillingness to accept it. This was part of the reason why Kris was so happy to have someone like Berdly in their life; someone who the entity did not like being around.
``Do you have any more cool video game facts?'' Berdly asked.
The being smiled for Kris, nodding along. ``Got one for Deltarune.''
``Never heard of that game,'' Berdly replied, glancing at them. Their gaze lingered upon those red eyes for a second, seeming to notice that something was amiss. Though this lasted for only a moment as they looked back at the screen, simply shaking his shake. ``What's the fun fact about it?''
``When going to the Cyber City, the Player can make the Angel kill all of the enemies present,'' the being said.
Berdly snorted. ``That's not a fun fact, that's just how video game design works, Kris.''
``And after clearing the first wave of opposition, the Angel can be pushed to imperil itself in the form of puzzles and the item known as the thorn ring,'' the being then stated, sounding so serious and monotone. It was like it was reading something from some invisible text.
Though Berdly didn't seem to pick up on it.
Instead, he scoffed. ``I asked for a fun fact, not for you to pitch your weird Monster Eastern European story-driven depression fest. You know...''
``And finally, the Angel can be made to kill its protector, embedding him in a block of ice,'' the being interrupted, snorting with such disdain. ``Though effects upon the Dark World can have very real consequences on the real world, impacting dialog and character behaviours.''
Berdly snorted and shook his head.
The being smirked.
Kris felt a fear blossom in their being.
``You know, Kris, I think you need to give the creepypasta wiki a bit of a break,'' Berdly chided, looking towards them and laughing. ``What are you going to hit me with next, that you bought a mystery cartridge of Pokemon that had the word black written upon it in sharpie.'' He continued to laugh with such strength, motioning towards them. ``Or how about this; a copy of Zelda where a boy named Ben drowned and now haunts the video game for the rest of eternity. Really Kris, do you expect a superior intellect, like mine, to fall for such contrived plot elements.''
``Hey,'' the being said, shrugging Kris' shoulders. ``Don't say that I didn't try and warn you.''
Berdly waved them off. ``Alright last chance to wow me with some cool video game facts before I steal your mind-altering substances from you.''
The being paused, pondering it for a moment.
It then nodded Kris' head. ``The Last of Us 2 is a pretty good game.''
``That's it!'' Berdly howled, lunging at Kris' whipped cream gun ``No more drugs for you.''
