It was just another dreary winter day, especially if you lived in a town where the snow was grey and dirty and the skies were pale, for the sun was hiding. In Erin's opinion, there had been too many of these kinds of days lately, and she was longing for the spring to come. The gloomy weather didn't stop her from going outside, though. She needed her little town strolls, so just like any other day, she was wandering aimlessly in the town. But although she was outside and faced other people, she had her headphones on, thus closing in to her own little world, listening her favorite metal music.
At some point Erin's unintentional path led her to a bridge that served as a way to cross the large river. She walked approximately to the midpoint, stopped there, and directed her gaze to the black water flowing beneath her. Cars went by, ignoring her presence. She was just standing there, staring at the dark waters, wondering how many lives it had taken, imprisoning the souls to its cold, black depths. As far as she knew, few people had jumped off from this bridge, they had decided to embrace the darkness. And she pondered, would she do the same? Would she join with others whose sanity had been deprived, falling to the cold, black river of death?
Erin shook her head, trying to get such miserable thoughts out of her mind. Not today. She wouldn't do something so perpetual. Not yet, at least. She kept staring at the black water, letting the music in her headphones fill her mind. She stayed there for a little while, but after a couple of songs, she decided to head back home. It was starting to get dark already. The lamps of the town had already begun to get lit. Starting to walk away from the bridge, Erin headed to the direction where she had come from. Rush hour was about to begin, and Erin didn't really like that. She hated crowded places. Fortunately, she had some food in her fridge, so she didn't have to go shopping. She moved with quite a quick pace, and while she was heading back home, a snowfall began. It soothed her mind somehow, there was something strangely peaceful in falling snow. The weather had turned pleasant in the end. Erin felt content, and the rest of her journey to home was enjoyable.
Eventually she made it to the apartment building where she lived. The old entrance door creaked as she opened it and the warmness of the building hit her in the face and felt nice after being out in the cold for so long. Erin headed to the stairs and began her climb, since she lived on the fourth floor. She didn't meet any of her neighbors during her ascend, although she could hear some small dog barking in one of the apartments she passed by. Finally, she made it to the right floor, took her keys and opened the door to her apartment and slid in. It was dark in there, partly because of the time of day and partly because she had her curtains covering the windows at all times. It felt more comfortable that way. She flipped the light switch in her tiny lobby and begun to undress, taking off her coat, beanie and boots. She also left her headphones on the small dresser that was standing next to the door. Then she made her way further into her tiny home, turning on the light in her living space. With a sigh, she collapsed on the couch, snatched the remote control from the table in front of her and turned on the TV, watching whatever would somewhat pique her interest.
For a couple of hours Erin had her eyes on the screen. Her stomach began to grumble, so she cranked herself up from the couch and headed to her tiny kitchen. She walked to her fridge, opened it and examined its contents. But the options were poor. Though, she had some chicken soup; she always had a couple of these cheap store's ready meals for days like this when she had nothing else to eat and didn't feel like cooking anything. But sometimes, you were allowed to be lazy. So she snatched a package of soup and threw it inside the microwave. A loud beep told her when it was ready. She took her meal and a glass of water with her back to the living room and she sat down on the couch, continuing to watch TV while she enjoyed her food that brought warmness to her body.
Few hours went by and she was still stuck in the same place, doing the same thing. She had switched the channel numerous times, when a remotely interesting show had ended, she would look for another one. Currently Erin was watching some crime drama series, though she wasn't really immersed into it. However, when a scene appeared where the characters were on the beach, it reminded her of something. That was when she shifted her gaze away from the TV and her eyes got drawn to the small bookshelf she had. And on one of the shelves, there was a photo in an oval shaped frame. It was a picture of her family. She got up from the couch and slowly walked to the bookshelf, it was almost like the photo was calling for her name. She picked up the frame, caressing it a little bit, and then a faint smile appeared on her face.
There they were, her parents, her little brother and Erin herself. They all smiled, they all were happy. Everything had been well at the moment when this photo had got captured. Although they weren't in the beach in this picture, the scene in the TV had reminded her of one of her fondest memories with her family.
It had been beautiful sunny summer day. Because of the hot weather, their family had decided to go to a local beach to spend some time with each other. That was back when Erin had still been a child, so naturally she and her brother had been excited. Just like all the other kids, they had been rascals that ran and screamed all over the place, swam and played in the sand while the parents were sunbathing. Occasionally one of their parents would join in the fun, but mostly Erin and her brother sought play company from the other kids that were on the beach. They didn't know each other, but did that matter? They all were having a great time. And at some point, they would stop their activities for a moment to eat ice cream, only to continue their playful actions soon after they had got more energy from the cold treat. They had probably spent hours on the beach, but being little kids that they were, they had eventually exhausted themselves. They had left the place, gaining from this experience both a great mood and a happy memory. It truly had been a perfect day.
As she replayed those happy times in her head, Erin was smiling. However, the bad thoughts would always invade her mind afterwards. That joyful time in the beach happened right before everything went to hell. The painful memories came in like a flood, and Erin's mood turned in an instant. Tears started to form on her eyes as she looked at the photo of the last happy moment of her family's life.
Her father and little brother had been coming home from a soccer practice when they had unfortunately ended up in a bad car crash. Both of them died that day. Suddenly, half of Erin's family was gone. It had been a devastating blow to her and especially to her mother, and neither of them didn't really get over their deaths. And for years, it was just Erin and her mother. Until the mother got diagnosed with cancer. She fought against it, but in the end, the cancer won. And then, Erin was all alone in the world. The rest of her relatives were really distant and she had never had real friends, for she had always had been the weird quiet kid in school. She had no one. Everyone she had loved was now gone. Nothing was left except memories and a heart full of sorrow. Who could understand her plight? There was no one who would care about her. There was no one who would give a damn. Erin felt like the loneliest person in the world.
She collapsed onto the floor on her knees, her tears staining her face. Erin was holding the picture frame close to her chest, hugging it tightly, as if being afraid that the fond memories would vanish if she didn't hold it firmly enough. What would happen if she disappeared? She was the only thing left of those good days, only one still keeping them alive. But on her worst days, Erin felt like she didn't want to carry that burden anymore. Her existence was pain and she just wished to be gone too, to join her deceased family. Why was she still alive, anyway? There was no reason to continue living this miserable life.
So there she stayed, on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. What a crying mess she was. And she kept weeping until there was no more tears left to shed. She stared into the nothingness. The most horrible emotions had become dormant again and she just felt apathetic. She gave a glance at the family photo one more time, and a sigh left her mouth. She got up from the floor and placed the photo back on the shelf where it belonged. Dragging her feet, she made her way back to the couch and fell down onto it. Feeling so devoid of emotion at that moment, she looked at the TV screen, but not really focused on what she was seeing. Laying down on the couch, she fell asleep at some point without realizing it. This was a well needed break from the world of reality, and the time of slumber would hopefully reset her brain.
