A dark room illuminated by the moonlight...the rain pattering against the window...the clock...its 3 A.M.
Still no sleep.
For days now the newly appointed Lieutenant could not get to sleep until sun began to rise, with this came heavy bagging under his beautiful, ocean like eyes that you could get lose in for hours.
Well, it was one eye now.
"Whatever" he said aloud to no one, he got up and put on his coat, he forgoes the cape thinking even if a guard or two saw him it wouldn't matter, he slipped the mask on and let out a small growl. Even now the idea of hiding himself pissed him off, it made his blood boil and his adrenaline spike up.
Oh yeah, there is no chance of sleep now.
Between training and informing soldiers he would take small naps throughout the day, though on some nights he would be so exhausted he would fall asleep and wake up far after the scheduled time of 6 A.M. this was not a good way to do things and he needed to change it soon.
Again he passes by the broken mirror and side eyes it, what's the point? Its not like getting angry will solve anything, he took his leave and stepped out, the rain falling down, getting beneath the mask, the coolness of the rain calmed him and he had to admit without all the shouting and training things were kind of peaceful.
He began walking around the camp, not many guards were out at this time and really they didn't need them, the Unicorns never came to them and it was a role to fill, something to make the more cautious troops feel safe. He walked by some guards and saluted them, they saluted back though one called out "Sir! Erm, why are you out so late? On business?" he wanted to snap at the guard but he held back "No. I'm just walking around the camp, inspecting things, I went to bed early and am not tired at all so I'm seeing how things are at night myself. I know its not that exciting but keep on guard!" he gave another salute and continued on. No matter how he felt morale was very important, he could not put any plan into place if the troops saw him as just another leader. One who pushes them around and works them to the bone with the promise that they will be famous someday or become rich and feed their folks for generations to come only to end up dead or disabled, they knew this but held their tongues in fear of speaking out.
Azulin knew all too well about this, he needed their trust and loyalty, the kind where they would be willing to truly fight or die for him, even if inside he was burning to take out his anger on someone he needed to relent, in due time things will go right.
After a while he went back to his room and dried himself, the sun already rising he read a book until he got the morning knock at his door. Feeling cranky he swung the door amid the second series of knocks "What?" it was PomPom, he saluted "Sir! It is time for you to go to your assigned barracks and wake the men!" "Says who..." the Corporal stopped saluting "Sir?" "You know my name, but thank you" he stepped forward and closed the door behind him "I'm not in a good way, I'm tired. Let's get this over with, the combat and cartography classes are after lunch anyway" he trudged out "Uh sir your cape?" Pompom rushed into his room and back down the stairs. Azulin snatched it "Thanks. But next time you break into my room I'll discipline you..." they continued walking, not saying a word between each other, Pompom began to worry "Is there something bothering you?" the masked bear stopped "Yes, I find it very hard to sleep every night and its affecting my mood. I don't want to talk about it right now, perhaps later." he walked on and started doing his rounds, waking and greeting the soldiers, almost every barrack he entered he was met with warm waves and good mornings back to him. He couldn't see his mouth but he could tell his superior had a very big smile whenever this happened, sometimes the others would ask to be greeted by him by their assigned superiors, his status as a grand slayer of many Unicorns was something that earned adoration. The respect and warmth he showed while training them how to fight and get a sense of unknown surroundings was what won their hearts over. Pompom was one of those who too looked forward to being around Azulin, but today he seemed not to be too well, he wanted to do something for him but couldn't right now, maybe he could later!
When lunch time was nearing its end Pompom again went to Azulin's room and ratted on the door again "Yes, yes coming" he still sounded groggy "Sir-I mean Azulin" he began "Pompom, we have a few minutes before training continues and my routine starts, why did you interrupt me?" nervously Pompom looked down at his feet "Well Lieute-ah Azulin I wanted to talk to you about your sleeping problems and how we could try and solve it" he took a step back "I see. Your concern is appreciated Corporal" he closed the door behind him "I don't suppose you have any methods of easily falling asleep?" "No I just lay down from a days work and rest, but that doesn't mean we can't find a way!" both heard the Sargent yell for the second set of training sessions for the day "Okay Pompom. I have a proposition to make: come to my room by 8 and we can discuss things" both dispersed and continued the same routine they did every day.
When the sun was setting Pompom waved the other Corporals off and told them he had a meeting with the Lieutenant "Hope that promotion goes well!" they all said "Ah haha! Yeah me too..." he nervously walked over to Azulin's room once again, usually he would not visit anyone this often but if its for his beloved superior he wouldn't mind. This time he knocked on the door at a less frantic pace and waited for him to answer "It's open, come in" he entered and saw Azulin sitting down, wearing just a vest and shorts reading the holy book he often carried and preached about, he looked him over before looking directly at his mask, he wondered what his neutral expression was like, was he smiling, was he happy he had came like he promised? Now is not the time he came to help his superior rest!
Pompom had to stop for a moment and consider what could happen in his mind but pushed aside such thoughts. The one he looked up to was asking him for help, for once the strong yet caring leader wanted him specifically! He was afraid of disappointing Azulin but others who had failed him he had not been as harsh as the others in charge, sometimes he would even hand wave it and to learn from their mistakes, even take them as important lessons.
Shortly after Azulin became Lieutenant many of the new and even older recruits warmed up to him and how he did things. He had a good handle on things and knew when to raise his voice and to command those in training. Whenever he gathered those who were less adept at fighting or who were nervous he would set them aside and teach them that no bear had to be perfect or the best just to succeed or that they had to prove themselves to everyone around them. He soon started his own scheduled sermons, preaching the holy book and reading pages worth of passages a day, even during some lunch breaks he would go to the cafeteria and read a page or two before wishing everyone a good day. These actions soon started gossip and talks among the recruits, how many would share their true feelings of the Lieutenant and how much they truly liked him. Some would go further, open;y expressing they had a crush on him.
Pompom felt that, love. Unlike every other bear in command Azulin always treated him with respect. He would never talk down or get angry even when he acted out of line and explained that things don't need to stay the way they are always. This may have been war but no one had to lose themselves or change themselves for it. Azulin would even have personal talks with them about their time there and on several occasions Pompom would be one of them; opening up to him and every single time he did the azure bear would thank him for being honest and in turn would open up about his time when he was a trainee as well as a soldier in the Forest.
"...Pompom? You alright?" quickly he saluted "Sir! I am fine sir! I came as you asked about your sleeping issue!" Azulin closed the book "You just seemed a bit quiet, not used to seeing me this way? Its okay Pompom, you can relax. You are here to help me after all and I must say out of those of a higher position than the regular grunt; I do trust you the most." at this point the freckled bear gulped and walked over nervously shifting his gaze between the mask and his eye, the gentle words and tone he used eased him greatly "Thank you sir...sorry I mean: thank you Azulin" the blue bear let out a quiet chuckle.
"Pompom, I am going to propose something that seems to be out of nowhere but I promise you I have thought about this quite a bit. A while back I did a similar thing with my brother, when he was around may God rest his soul. It helped me sleep every night. We had done so since childhood and not once did it fail us if we felt restless or uneasy" at this point Pompom had butterflies in his stomach, was the one he looked up to opening up to him? This was far more intimate than he expected.
"Pompom, I want you to sleep with me" he had a look of disbelief, Azulin who was annoyed quickly followed up "No, no don't worry its nothing like that, I did this with my BROTHER remember? When I sleep I want you to...hug me...from behind" "Azulin I..." "You don't have to do this. actually I shouldn't have said anything" Pompom moved closer "You said it's to help you sleep, right?" the masked bear looked out of hte window, the sun was still setting "It is too bright to rest now Corporal. It might not even work in the first place but I am willing to try anything to get a good nights sleep"
"I'll do it!" he looked up at the freckled bear, he had a nervous but happy look on his face "If this doesn't work I won't hold it against you, again; do not feel like you are obligated to do this. But if you do plan on staying I could sweeten the deal. If this works I will give you some blueberries for your work. In the meantime how about we read our holy book together?" truthfully Pompom did not buy into the religious aspect of the army but he loved listening to how passionate Azulin would get about it. When he preached it was far more captivating than any priest that would visit and having a front row seat was not something he'd pass up.
Once the sun had set Azulin closed the book "Are you ready?" Pompom was sweating "Y-Yes sir" Azulin sat on the bed "Good, you can remove your clothes if you please" again Pompom had a shocked look on his face "Ah sorry, when I'm tired I get a bit confused. Please could you remove your coat and leggings? The thick buttons would probably not feel good bumping against me." Pompom wiped his forehead and did so, he had shorts but no vest "Sorry my fur sweats very easily so I don't wear vests" Azulin waved "It's fine, there are trainees who have the same issue and ask me too to hand off their vests to others who may need it. Now please lay behind me" he laid on his side, facing the wall nearest to the bed.
'I can't believe this is happening. Oh God thank you! Thank you!' Pompom quickly climbed on the bed and shuffled behind him "Now I want you to embrace me" Pompom gulped and did as asked. He placed one hand over to Azulin's arm and pulled himself in until his bare chest made contact with his back, he let out a giggle "Hey! That's kind of ticklish! Stop it!" Pompom blushed "S-Sorry sir" he backed up a little while still pseudo-hugging the blue bear.
Pompom could not help but look over his superior, he eyed his neck, leading down to his back and saw the heavy scarring that he had endured. "Well Pompom?" Uh oh did he know he was staring? "Uh, yes sir?" "Goodnight" phew "Ah, Goodnight Azulin!" he tightened his grip a little and closed his eyes.
As it was with him every night he woke up to a bright room, he went to stretch when he felt a hand grip his arm; it was Azulin who was snoring soundly. Pompom gulped and got in close, carefully trying to shimmy his hand away but while doing so he got got a closer look at the side of the blue bears face "Poor thing" he said to himself "You're still beautiful to me" he again tried to pull his arm away and succeeded this time. Azulin sighed "I heard you" Pompom jumped out of bed and scrambled to get his clothes on "Sir! Its time for us to begin our morning duties!" Azulin sat up "Don't you want to shower first? And besides we have some time" he pointed to the clock, it was only 5 A.M. "No need to be nervous and thank you" behind that mask he could FEEL a smile. Azulin casually got up and went to his bathroom "I'm going to wash myself first Pompom, feel free to have some of my food if you're hungry, you did do your duty after all" he closed the door behind him. Pompom did as such and while he got to enjoy something other than the usual porridge the troops did he could not fully appreciate it. Azulin heard him say something like that! What will he say when he is done?
When Pompom was finished he looked out the window, wondering how awkward things will be from now on, he slept with Lieutenant Azulin! Most would kill to be in his spot and yet he might have ruined it a little. When Azulin exited he was wearing another set of undergarments "Did you enjoy yourself?" again the freckled one looked away "I did have a good sleep s-sir..." "As did I, Pompom. Its very much appreciated" he stepped forward and started making his own food, taking out a container of blueberries and threw a handful to Pompom "As promised. However what I was asking was: did you like the food here?" Pompom realized how he had just answered and blushed "Oh yes! Its really good!" Azulin laughed "Really? I think its below what you'd make or get yourself back home, but yeah compared to the usual recruit meal it is very nice" he sat down and began eating, making sure the mask wasn't pulled down so far he would show his damaged face "I'm beautiful am I? You are much too kind Corporal, but there is no need to suck up to me. I very much do care about all of you and want you all to succeed, playing favourites is a good way to distract from that." the other bear felt a pit in his stomach "No sir! I wasn't trying to do that! I just thought..." he looked him directly in the eye "Never mind. I should probably clean up before rhe day begins" as he got up Azulin held his hand out "Stop. Tell me: what did you 'just thought'?" Pompom sat back down, obviously very nervous "I didn't want to say anything about it...but you, uh, your...you know...your face" Azulin continued eating "Pity me? Don't. I do not like the state its in but complaining will do nothing about it. I have to just keep going as I did before."
Pompom sighed and showered himself, the day went as it normally did though Azulin waved him down at the end of the day and asked him to sleep with him again "If it worked the first time it should a second. Blueberries will be your payment of course" and as with the previous night they did so again. This time it was later as Azulin had a few meetings to attend that would not end until 11, Pompom patiently waited and felt the butterflies once again move around when he returned "You know what? I'm too tired to shower or make food, I just want to-" he noticed a bowl of vegetables and meat was on the table "You made this?" Pompom saluted "Stop it. I've had enough of formalities and such." Pompom relaxed himself "Yes si-uh Azulin! I made this because I didn't know if you'd eat with the General or not" Azulin sat down and stared at the food for a moment "You really didn't have to do this you know?" he smiled at him. Azulin took a few bites of the meal and sat the fork down "Hmm...yes..." "Y-Yes?" he looked up at him "This is definitely a very bland meal" Pompom looked away, a frown now on his face "But you haven't cooked anything yourself in a while correct?" "Not in months sir, I mean Azulin" he continued to eat the meal "I wouldn't turn down something you did of your own accord. Its not the best but if it fills me up then its all good. I wasn't insulting you Pompom; I was taking notice of how none of you are taught that many life skills. We have talked about that before though." he was right, when it came to the more intimate talks they'd have he would often talk about how his folks coddled him and never let him learn how to cook or hunt. Even fishing was not taught.
Azulin quickly disrobes himself and climbs onto the bed, he starts to take off his mask when he realizes there is someone else with him "You tired Pompom?" it was not suggestive in the least but his heart skipped a beat; seeing the azure bear presenting...from behind as well! "Yes, Azulin~" he too took of his clothes and climbed on, hugging the bear like he did last night "Azulin?" the blue bear, already with his eye closed tiredly spoke "Yes?" "Goodnight" he yawned "Goodnight, Pompom" the bear who was spooning him leaned in then stopped himself, this was WAY too intimate!
The night passed as it did before, both unaware until the sun came up, this time though it was Azulin who waked Pompom "Hey, hey!" he nudged the Corporal "Its almost time for us to get moving!" he looked back and wiped his eyes "Oh, sorry sir!" They went through the same morning as before but this time Pompom had to say something "Sir d-" "Azulin. It's Azulin" He looked away, embarrassed "Azulin...have you, you know, have you ever...felt something before?" he could not see his face but he knew he was not impressed "Yes Pompom I've felt and feel a lot of things, on my body and in my soul, what of it?" he knew that was too vague "Okay. Have you felt something for someone else before?" again Azulin responded "Yes I have felt many things for many people, some good, some bad, some neutral." Pompom felt a little agitated at that "No! I mean have you had feelings for someone? No wait don't answer..." he got up "Have you felt...an attraction before?" Azulin let out a hearty laugh "Oh Pompom! You take me too seriously sometimes! I know what you were asking. So, you have a crush on someone? I don't think I can help you with that as I never really had anyone to crush on myself for my formative years" Pompom looked at him in disbelief "No one? Even I had-" he stopped himself, this was his superior, Azulin! Surely he had a reason "Why?" Azulin got up and cleaned the dishes from their breakfast "Truthfully? Growing up I didn't hang around many girls and the ones I did either had their eyes on someone else or thought boys were gross." Pompom gulped and started to cold sweat "What about boys?" Azulin looked back "I did...oh why not? I had a crush on a boy when I was young but it didn't work out. We would fight a lot and bully each other." Cute, though Pompom "But you know...I have had some of the men here show interest in me" again Pompom could feel that pit forming "They never come to my face and say it, they always send me letters, most of them anonymous about how much they love me and want me. I think its really sweet." he dried his hands and put on his gloves "But I haven't the heart or time to visit the ones who did sign their names, being with a soldier in my position would get me in trouble." "What about someone closer to your rank?" he looked at Pompom in the eyes "What about it?" he quickly looked away and made his way for the door "Shall we?" Azulin did not follow "What about it?" he repeated, crap! It wasn't supposed to go this way!
Pompom bolted out of the door and Azulin sighed, they will have to continue this later.
At days end Azulin waved Pompom over, some of the other troops heading for food and rest looked at them with envy, both of them saw people whispering when they passed by, every time Azulin looked their way they'd stop and keep moving "Heh, people are talk-" "I know" they went back to Azulin's room and the moment he closed the door and started making dinner "So, what about someone close to my rank being interested in me?" "Oh you're still on that?" the azure one stopped "Yes I am. Do you have something to tell me Pompom?" he again gulped and got up "Can we please not?" Azulin continued making their dinner "I insist, please do go on Pompom" he sat back down and sighed, looking outside "You know those letters you get? That have no name on them? Those are...I know who is making them and they really like you, they want to be close to you." "I see. Who is it?" Pompom winced "He doesn't want you to know who he is. But he wants you to know he really admires you, loves the way you treat him, even has had a crush on you for a while." "That's nothing new"
Azulin set their food down "I did not mean to tease you Pompom but you are far too easy to read." he looked up from his food "What do you mean?" "I know who's been writing those letters, Pompom. You." Pompom choked on his food at this point, how did he know? "The handwriting is not only similar to yours but I can't think of who else would write in such a...hmm, affectionate way about another man" Pompom looked at him in disbelief "What do you mean?" "You're a little...gay, You know?" Pompom didn't know what to say at this point "Eat your food, we will talk about this after, I'm starving" they quietly ate their dinners, occasionally making glances at each other. Really it was Pompom looking up and seeing Azulin staring at him and he'd look back down at his food.
"I'll clean the dishes today" Pompom got up and started cleaning them, although he then dropped a plate before it could be washed "So clumsy" Azulin got up and picked it up "Good thing it didn't break. Let me help" from behind he cleaned the plates alongside Pompom, sometimes making contact with his back, this made Pompom freeze a little. Azulin sat on the bed and removed his clothes like the last few days. Pompom could not help but stare at him, his fluffy but defined body with some muscle, his beautiful ocean like eye looking up at him "Oh Pompom. I am feeling a bit more tired than usual, you wouldn't mind would you? Of course you wouldn't~ Come now, lay with me" he took his own clothes off, Azulin was facing towards the other wall with the clock on it so he had to climb over the superior.
"Huh? So you don't want to embrace me then? Very well" "HUH? WAIT what?" Pompom was shocked "Don't yell so loudly when you're this close. Do you want to...cuddle with me? From the front I mean?" Pompom said nothing and climbed back over him.
Pompom wrapped his left arm around Azulin and shifted forward "You can come closer" he then pulled himself in, his bare body so close to Azulin's clothed one "Closer" Pompom's eyes were wide. Obeying he got in even closer, his head bumping against Azulin's mask and his body connecting with his as well, both of them could hear each others breathing but could not feel it "You can let go of me now" Azulin shoved his arm aside and grabbed his hand "Look me in the eye, Pompom. Confess yourself to me" Pompom had tears forming, he was so anxious and while his heart was beating fast, he could feel Azulin's, it was beating even faster "I love you" Azulin moved the bottom part of his mask and kissed him on the cheek "I love you too, Pompom. I'm sorry I did not approach you sooner but I didn't want the others to be envious of you, to start hating you for being with me. But I do think of you and how you feel, Pompom. Lets keep ourselves to each other!" Pompom returned the kiss and began massaging his head with one hand and the other still holding his. They continued until they began lovemaking.
As the days went on they continued their affair behind everyone's back, for the longest time now Azulin had been very friendly with the recruits, but had felt nothing romantic. Until Pompom came along, he never could find the right time to approach him or know what to say, to have someone he had heavily suspected of sending him love letters was now, finally: his lover.
