Wow, this is the first time I've been so active on this stuff, huh? This time, we're going a little dark here. Just a little, bear with me. This here is Melon. She is a gummy T-Rex who is made of watermelon candy. She is the first member of another "What If" timeline I brainstormed with my daughter, the Sugar Rush. Instead of being a cosmic, dimension hopping train made by the Destroyer so they could use Syrus and her friends, the Sugar Rush is indeed the same train; except it is a dimension hopping bakery.
It's owner is Lea, the cinnamon bun teddy bear, and her family of food based daughters. They are committed to making the absolute best sweets ever, and love the smiles they leave as they turn a profit. Lea and her daughters though have one big commitment, more than just smiles and making a buck; they want to do anything they can to help someone smile. If that means giving them a treat they requested personally, they'll give their all to make it and not charge. Does someone need a home and family to call their own? A bit of sugar, some mixing, time in the oven/fridge/freezer, welcome to the family, sweetie. They sound like they live up to the 'sweet as sugar theme'; right?
Melon doesn't.
Melon is a bounty hunter by trade. Usually while her mother and sisters are making somebody smile with sweets, she's off looking for the asshole that made them stop smiling at all, to teach them a harsh lesson. When she's at home, she serves the Sugar Rush as the 'complaint department'. Did her mother or sisters displease you? She's got a thicker 'skin' to apologize, notify her family, and see you leave happy, and if she can't do that, is the one to have all your anger taken out on. She's been treated and called worse. She also serves the Sugar Rush as a 'debt collector', hunting down anyone that cheated on a honest payment when they could.
But heaven help you if you follow the trend and act like a 'Karen'.
Melon has a thick 'skin', it comes with being a sentient, living gummy. See, her Mommy and sisters aren't equipped to handle a 'Karen' or violent customer. So when that happens, Melon is called and told to come home. While she's busy. Sometimes just as she was about to pounce her target that she had been stalking for weeks. See... Melon is still a T-Rex. And she has all the destructive power and temper of one. To suddenly force her to drop everything she was doing, it puts her in the worst mood. Jurassic Park worst. And she, unlike her sisters and Mommy, goes about adding to the family in a much, MUCH more terrifying way.
She will approach the 'Karen', first, and try to calm them down and resolve things peacefully. If they insist, and they push the wrong button, she will snap, and show the subject you never, ever talk to a MOTHER FUCKING T-REX in such a way or tone, even if she is only 3'4". She will not hesitate to put her strength to use as she lifts you up like she's more 12'8", show you her gummy, but VERY realistic teeth, and start eating you like you're a piece of candy; your very wounds won't bleed or kill you, because whatever she chomps off is now just candy. Once she finishes the last bite, she goes to take a nap, during which she lays you as a gummy egg; when you hatch, you've been turned into a new gummy dinosaur just like her, you will have forgotten your past and name and you'll serve Mommy so she can get back to that jerk she was hunting.
As the saying goes, the "short and sweet" of it? Don't threaten her family, don't get violent, and don't give her reason to lose her temper. It's not the size of the T-Rex that matters; it's what her jaws can do to you.
