My beside Myself, and the Duality of Us (2023, April 10th/1444, Ramadan 20th)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Exposition original from Instagram: This piece expresses what I've been through lately. I'm still the playful, curious and excitable person that you'll meet, but at the same time I've felt that strong sense of boredom, sadness and most of all, ennui in me. What I've been lacking has been without me for a long time already. Can you guess? A partner? Well congrats, person I made in my mind! That's a very predictable thought you made!
I've been in the quest of soul-seeking, but I never knew where to start, because I hate networking. I mean... my Church friends have been super nice and they're intelligent people that I could vibe with in theory. Furries are cool dudes too but goddamn they set the bar so high up there and super creative with their works I happen to look upon my work and then I feel a strong feeling of impostor syndrome come to bite me back. They're really into roleplay too, which is typical but that has always been my weakest point because I can't find myself to play make-believe, nor do I have the interest.
I love going walks outside by myself but goddamn now I can feel the loneliness truly seeping in. It doesn't feel the same since...
Maybe it's because where I'm staying right now with my broken up family with 4 men inside the house, and the house gradually looking worse and worse and now looking like a dumpster fire, I just couldn't take it.
"Why complain about all of this anyways, that's half the world you're talking about!" Yeah. True. Maybe this was all for naught, maybe that's possible because I've never had a lot of attention thrown to me. I know my problems are not unique; I'm just another dude throwing messages in a bottle into a virtually endless ocean.
Whatever it is, IF the algorithm picks this up, and this happens to reach your eyeballs, and if you read this passage, let alone the entire thing... I just want to say my thanks for reading. Support is something that I want currently, and I think having a partner of mine is what I believe makes it awesome.
I really don't want attention, just genuine people.
That's all See ya ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah that's a bit of an exposition. I have a few more expositions from Instagram I'll be pulling up here. See ya!
