You Turned Away
By Ayn BlackFox
It was a dark, rainy stormy night for what should have been a normal drive home. The sound of the rain pounding against the windshield and the top of the truck, the rumbling thunder with flashes of lightning all around, all the signs of a typical thunderstorm that I've been through too many times before. Something said I should have been on my way home sooner but I figured I'd make the extra money. I regretted it seeing what Mother Nature had in store for me. Even at 27 mph, I could barely see a truck length in front of me. I swore to myself that Link had been playing the ``Song of Storms'' to mess with me but I pressed on hoping the storm would pass. As the miles went by, the storm didn't seem to let up. I wondered if I wandered into a tropical storm without knowing but I knew I was smarter than that. Something didn't feel right as I couldn't even get weather radio on any channel. The CB was oddly quiet making me feel like I somehow wandered into something even worse; The Twilight Zone.
Suddenly, lightning struck something just in front of me, blinding me. I tried to pull over on the right shoulder and stop the truck but it only slowed to a crawl. I pulled the air brake valves to try to just lock the brakes up but that didn't even help. I felt like I was in slow motion while blinded. I felt the truck go off the road and I quickly called out to God ``I just want to live''. Still blinded I waited for the truck to stop as the sound of the rain started to fade. Was it over? Did I die? Why me? Why now as I still have so much to live for? Damn it, I guess I deserve it for not putting my foot down and telling my employer to just let me go home... Unbeknownst to him, the truck did stop but not because of last moment cry to a heavenly savoir but a lone truck has become the load whose final stop is: The Twilight Zone.
~
I woke up after what felt like hours but I could hear a voice saying that I'd been out for just 45 minutes. Who was that? Why am I still blind and now, why do I feel like I just tried to box Buster Douglas? I didn't crash that bad. I heard footsteps walking over to the bed. I stayed quiet not knowing who was around me. I felt a gloved hand rubbing my head softly before checking my pulse. Whoever it was had a gentle touch and even called me cute without my glasses. This had me thinking they were broken, and I wanted to cry because they were the only pair I had, and they are expensive! Please fix them. Please fix them! I said to myself as I heard my vital signs being called out.
``What about his skin color? I've never seen anything like it before, so what do you classify him as on the paperwork?'' The person closest to me said. ``He doesn't have any bleeding, cuts or abrasions for what I can see, and I haven't checked his groin yet.''
I wish my eyes I could open so I just look at this nurse or doctor and say: what? Never seen a black guy before? Well...half of one? The sound of the footstep told me the other medical person walked over to my bed. My mind ran blank as I couldn't see them, but I could hear them. Who are they and why are so interesting in a mixed-race guy like me?
``Well according to his ID, he's a commercial driver, class A and he identifies as black.'' The other person said and at least in my head, I sucked my teeth and said; thank you Dr. Obvious. ``I'm not even going to try to say the name.''
``Black you say and that makes a first for us.'' The first person said before pulling my underwear down some. Go ahead and insult my manhood too. Just talk all about the helpless guy in the bed. Just fucking do it, I don't care anymore. She touches my penis and testicles moving them around some. Thankfully, she didn't arouse me as that would have been awkward. Half-black, half-dead guy with a boner... yay! ``No damage to the genitals and the surrounding area but it's nicely sized compared to the others that came through lately.''
What?? The others? Das Fooq has been happening here? Does everyone that wrecks on the interstate come here? I think as I feel her turn me over and check my back.
``Nothing on the back either.'' The first one said as that gloved hand moved down towards my ``Scared area''. Don't get any ideas now. I know I'm somewhat out of it but leave that part alone! Unable to react, I feel the fingers moving down, feeling in between my cheeks and even touching the part I just said don't touch. ``No trauma to the posterior but he does seem to have been sitting a while so let?s get him cleaned before the doctor comes in.''
Well no shit I sit a lot didn't your helper just say I was a CDL holder? Like good lord lady, just get this over with so I can at least go to sleep. I tried to shut my brain down, but nothing happens as my underwear are slid back up. I feel a fuzzy blanket pulled over me and gentle rubbing on my head again. Awww...thank you! I want to sleep now.
``Dr. Forrest will be here later so lets him rest and until then.'' The other one said I hear their footsteps leave the room. The door closes all I can hear is the beeping of the machines in the room and the soft back ground of what has to be the weather channel. I try to listen to hear what the forecast was but everything went quiet as I dozed off.
My eyes open to find myself in what appears to be an all-white room with a single stool in the middle. Looking at myself, I saw that I was back in my normal clothing. Grey cargo pants, white ``Top Gun'' shirt, boots, and yes my specks! Walking around some, it seemed that I was totally alone but it wasn't surprising as my dreams were always weird like this. Moving over to the stool, I saw a bottle of water with a paw print on the label and note that said: Free to drink. With a shrug, I opened the bottle and took a drink. It was nice and cold with no metal or rock taste to it. I took a seat on the stool and continued to look around what seemed like an endless white room.
Suddenly I hear what sounds like a door opening and closing back. My eyes quickly dart around trying to see where the door was and who walked through. I stood up and started to take a drink from the bottle but right as I got the bottle up to my mouth, a fuzzy hand stopped me. Looking at the hand, it appeared to belong to a leopard and when I looked up, I see who it belonged to, a leopard with black hair! I tried to back away, but she grabbed my wrist.
``You found us first...'' She said and just as fast as I can blink, she was gone.
Looking at the water, I wondered of my dream state brain had gone rogue, but the bottle was the same. With a small sip, it tasted like water still. I took a step back and tried to sit on the stool but instead of the stool, someone grabbed me from behind, wrapping their arms around my waist. This time they were black and when I tried to move away, I could feel claws digging in the fabric of my shirt, but I managed to wiggle free. Turning around I saw a black panther with matching hair.
``And you really liked me...'' She said and like the first, was gone after a blink and the stool was back where it was supposed to be.
``What the fuck is going on?'' I asked as I sat back down on the stool. My thirst seemed to linger and right as I started to sip the water, someone hugged me from behind. I quenched my thirst before looking to see who was behind just to see a calico cat behind me. ``And what do you have to say?'' I asked as she rubbed my head softly.
``You really liked me too...and I do mean really like me.'' She said and after a peck kiss... gone just like the rest.
``OK this isn't fun anymore, like, what are you trying to do me?'' I called out and started to walk the room. ``If you're trying to psyche me out, I'm too mental strong for your game.''
Walking around the room, I tried to find a door or window or something but nothing. A series of giggles echoed through the room and reached into my pocket hoping to pull out anything as I knew I was dreaming but even in a dream, possibilities are endless. Butt Magnum time! I thought to myself and reaching into my back pocket, I felt the handle of a pistol. Pulling out a revolver, I grin seeing the full round of bullets.
``This is my dream and here, I make the rules! Keep trying me whoever you are and your kneecaps will belong to me.'' I said with a grin knowing I was holding a 500 magnum. I look back at the stool to see someone not a furry sitting on it. Finish off the water and chuck the bottle off the side slowly approaching the person sitting on the stool, dressed in a green, formal ROTC suit. ``And who are you; the architect from The Matrix, green edition?''
``You might say but I'm going to say that you're throwing everything you love away by doing this.'' He said as he slowly turned around. ``All you have to do is accept it for what it is.'' He was an older guy, taller than me but obvious well-groomed unlike some of the others I met before the accident. He stood up and I pointed the magnum at him.
``Don't move as I want answers and I want them now!'' I demanded. ``I don't have time for these games I'm ready to fight my way out of this.''
``So angry but yet, the answers have right in front of you but you've been too quick to act and not look and see the whole picture.'' He said slowly moving towards me.
``Don't give that Smith System style speech; I've heard that far too much to care.'' I said pulling the hammer back. ``Now sit down and start answering questions.''
``But I've already gave you the answer. You have to sit down now.'' He replied walking towards me.
Moving my aim to his knees, I pull the trigger firing off a round as the loud, concussive sound echoes through the room. ``I warned you!'' But like the others, he had vanished in the blink of an eye and I wasted a bullet. ``1 down 5 to go, so who's next?!'' I walked over to the stool and started to sit down but right as I sat down, I heard four footsteps from behind.
``What about me? Are going to shoot me too?'' She asked as I quickly turned and shot at what looked like a lynx but I couldn't hold my balance and fell on my left side.
``Damn it! What did I say? I don't have time for these games!'' I called out as I tried to collect myself. ``Do you know who I am? I'm THE Storyteller and I'm the master of my destiny! I don't need your psychological mind fuck!'' I look in the direction I shot but nothing.
As I started to stand up, a brown and white fuzzy hand takes a hold of my arm and helps me. I look up but got a sense of remembrance from the next one in front of me. I freeze up not knowing what to say. My strength felt drained as I couldn't even aim the magnum to fire it. She smiles at me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Still lost for words, I kind of just stare at her.
``What make you different? I...I can't do anything.'' I said softly as she just looks back at me. I drop the magnum and just stare back, frozen in place.
``Because you like things that you connect with. Things that make you feel...fuzzy all over.'' She said taking my hand and placing it on her cheek. She partially closes her eyes holding a smile, purring as I slowly rubbed her cheek.
``I like cats.'' I replied. ``But I identify as a fox furry.''
``And a fox who has an eye for beauty, that why you like me.'' She said before slowly vanishing before.
``I do...'' I reply moving back over to the stool to sit down. Like magic a bottle of water appears on the stool but with golden paw print on the label. I take the bottle and open it taking a drink from him. It was cold but yet so satisfying.
Suddenly I start to feel dizzy. I wobble around on the stool but dropping the water and falling to the floor. I look around and start to see brief views of characters from my writings walking around. Some look at me and wave. Others blow kisses at me before vanishing like the others did. Confused, I close my eyes and wait for the room to stop spinning. My breathing slows down, my heart rate drops like I'm about to fall asleep. I felt more peaceful like I had achieved a higher state of mind.
As I lie there, I can hear footsteps approaching me, but I ignore them. I pretend I'm sleep as I feel whoever it was pulling me closer to them like a hurt child. ``No, no MLady, I want to sleep. I'm too tired to move.'' I said trying to buy myself some time.
``Oh, don't worry my friend. You can rest as much as you need.'' She said with a very motherly voice. ``You've been through more than any other in this position has. You need all the rest you can get.''
I paused for a moment wanting to open my eyes but I was too scared to do so. I started to say something but I stopped myself before it could come out. ``But...you're treating me as if you're my mom but mother dearest would have called me something different. Oh god! I've gone the furry heaven and the furry god has sent an angel.''
``No, you're very much alive.'' She replied pulling me closer to her warm body. ``Just relax and let your strength come back.'' She gently rubbed my head, purring.
Like clockwork, ASMR came and made me feel tingly from my head and all way down to my legs. It was better than any video. Better than anything I've read but yet, felt so real though I knew I was dreaming. As she continued to pet me, the tingly feeling didn't fade like it normally would. It did the exact opposite and get worse making me feel like I had sat with my legs crossed and slept on my arms at the same time. The numb, heavy feeling set in, but I could feel her placing me on my stomach like I was on a massage table.
Her purring stopped for a moment but continued as she rubbed my neck and shoulders like a friend did for me after a push up contest. I remained as still I could, enjoying the massage she gave me. She started purring again and I smiled widely as her hands moved down my back and long my spine. I could feel my body loosening up almost like I was being stretched out, a feeling I hadn't experienced since...well...can't break the first rule of fight club. As she moved down towards my butt, I tensed a little and she stopped but whispered to me to relax. Fuck, there's that ASMR again making me feel tingly all over.
Once I had calmed down, she repositioned me so that my arms were up over my head and slowly rubbed my arms. Between her gentle touch and the purring, it was all too much for me. It felt like I was turning into clay, and she was the sculptor, shaping me into the form that was most desirable not just to her but for me as well. She whispered in my ear to stay relaxed as I don't have anything to worry about before moving her hands down and placing them on my rump. She gently kneaded my rump making me blush until she moved her hands down my legs.
I heard a soft giggle as she started on the left leg, pressing her thumbs into my thigh. Staying quiet as she worked, I started to imagine what she looked like. I knew she was a cat but what kind? A cheetah? A cougar or just a domestic cat? All of the ideas floated around in my head were distracting me from the massage that was making me like I was being stretched out as her hands moved slowly down my left leg towards the calf. I tried to open my eyes to see what she looked like, but I guess she seen me and covered my eyes with her hands. She whispered to me again saying: keep them closed, relax and let her work. She kissed my cheek softly as I could give her a nod.
She started to rub my calf again as I resisted the temptation to open my eyes. It felt so good, and the mystery lady made me smile for a moment as a song came to mind. Not wanting her to stop, I just start singing softly knowing I don't a great voice and I didn't want to scare her off: Hey, Mystery Lady, can I spend the night with you? Can I have your number? I'll be anything you want to me to. We ought to get something started. She stopped her massage like she was listening or confused. Why hesitate? Oo, I can't wait. There is something that you're missing. That fire in your eyes - you can't disguise. Darling, when the nights are cold and lonely - I?ll keep you warm. You need to be loved, by me, Mystery Lady.
``Aw, that so sweet to hear even though I don't know that song.'' She said before started to work on my right leg like she did the left one. A few minutes later, I could feel her tugging at my boots and manages to get them off. I stay silent and let her rub the bottom of my feet and thank God! My feet always hurt after work; I just never tell anyone because I already have a friend obsessed with touching my feet.
Even with her rubbing my feet, I couldn't shake the feeling of being stretched out. I wiggle a little just wondering if it was the feeling of being messaged in what in the best lucid dream I've had. Was it Heaven or Hell? I guess that's in the eye of the beholder. I started to feel numb again but not like body parts went to sleep but more like pain killers. The stretching feeling went away but I started to feel warmer than before. Something didn't feel right but I was in no position to argue at this point. I let it ago as I knew the dream would be over soon.
My mystery lady finished her massage and turned me over on my back for a moment before pulling me close to her. She mumbled that I could open my eyes and when I did, I seen a brightly colored cougar before me. ``And you wanted to be like me at one point.'' She said and the dream ended before I can say anything.
As I wake up, I find myself in a hospital room but no hospital that I knew of. Looking around I didn't see anyone in the room and started to get out of bed as there was nothing connected to me. However instead of standing up like I thought I would, I immediately fell of the bed like a clumsy cat. ``Ouch, that hurt.'' I looked around some and seen that no one seen me. I slowly tried to stand back up, but something felt off and I fell again. Confused I looked at the floor wondering if it was mopped but was dry.
Looking over myself to make sure I wasn't an idiot I seen that the back of my hands were covered in what I knew was lilac colored fur for cats. White fur covered the palms of my hand likes they were dipped in white paint. I look at the rest of my body seeing more of the lilac and white fur. Standing up, I stumble a little using the bed a crutch to stop myself from falling. I try to figure out how to get moving on four legs mumbling that have two is so much easier. Suddenly, mind starts to remember the slow motion videos of cats walking. With a grin, I look at the mirror and make it my destination. Letting go of the bed, I slowly start to move forward focusing what I remember seeing in the video.
One step at a time, I move towards the mirror and without the bed to catch me, I find myself getting used the new gait. With a smile, I reach the mirror looking over my new feline form. My eyes were green and my once curly hair was now straight and about shoulder length but was the same color as I remember. Seeing that I had breast, I jump a little and look down seeing that they were fair sized compared to what I normally look for. I smile again and look around the room some and seeing my glasses on the nightstand, I walk over to get them and didn't fall. Putting my glasses on, my vision cleared up, but I crossed my arms mumbling that they could have fixed my vision. On a chair next to the bed was a small package with a name on it that I didn't recognize at first: Merza.
``Oh, ha-ha, very funny picking on my name like that!'' I said hoping someone was listening. I picked up the package and looked at it for a second as it seemed familiar to something I'd got in the mail before.
Opening the package, I pulled out a grey crop top with odd writing on it. It was made from the same stretchy material as the ones I personally owned for making videos with. With a shrug, I put the top on and pulled it down over my newly acquired breast and smiled. Along with the top was a pair of shorts with a sticky note that read: if you want to be ``decent''. With a shrug, I looked over my form and thinking about some art I seen, I positioned myself so I could put the shorts on over the hind quarters. Suddenly I heard a rip and I looked at them thinking I tore them. I found that they had a special strap for the tail to go through and it was just Velcro. Sighing in relief, I fixed the strap in place and stood back up. I strutted around the room, liking the way I looked until I heard a voice: ``Do you like it?''
Stopping and looking back towards the front of the room, I seen an all-white chakat but shi looked more like a domestic cat. Hir fur was bright white, medium length with matching head-hair. Hir eyes where a deep blue, almost like they wanted to pierce someone's mind. We met in the middle of the room, but shi grabbed my right hand and looked over it like a doctor would. I watched as shi did the same to the left one before taking a hold of my head and looking over it as well.
``Umm... I'm kind of used to this new body, but I like it.'' I replied shi continued to look over me. ``The colors are great but I'm unsure why...'' A finger was pressed against my lips to hush me.
``Just as I thought...'' Shi said taking a step back from me. ``Everything I thought would happen did happen.''
``What are you talking about?'' I asked crossing my arms. ``I'm not what I used to be! I'm a chakat for crying outloud!'' I look down at the floor. ``And I'm not even anywhere near home.''
Shi only smiled and lifted my head up to lock eyes with her. ``I do owe the explanation of why you are here.'' I looked slightly to the side trying not to focus on hir. ``You have been pulled into this dimension because...'' Shi paused for a second. ``...A long time ago, you found something that made you smile. Something that made you feel better about who you aspired to be but what did you do? You turned away from it and became something else, leaving us behind.'' I looked down again but shi picked my head back up. ``You call yourself the storyteller but for the longest time we were never part of the story. A race that you thought about so much...in more ways than what you'll admit to but yet, we sat on the side lines watching as others creations of yours got all the glory.''
``Wait! That's not the problem; it's more complicated than that!'' I said pleading with hir hoping to explain what happened but shi hushed me again.
``I knew you were going to say that, it's predictable BUT no matter. You are here now and you've been changed into what you wanted to be.'' Shi said as her eyes dilated. ``Deep down in your mind, so deep it's the caboose of a train but you wanted this! To be one of us and now you got it Mister Storyteller.''
``So that explains the dream I had.'' I said locking eyes with her. ``The answers were right in front of me the whole time.''
``Exactly.'' Shi said sounding like me to a point.
``So where am I exactly?'' I asked. ``The Twilight Zone?''
Shi smiled and rubbed my head a little. ``It is but not one that you know of.'' Shi pointed to me and pointed to hir head. ``It's a zone of your own mind. The world you created because of us but we wanted to give you a taste of what you've waited so long for.''
``My mind, so that means...'' I said before shi crossed hir arms like shi was waiting for me to say something. I paused and just looked at hir not knowing what to say and that seemed to upset hir.
``Not going to say it...well, ask it?'' Shi asked with a smirk. ``Your new form is based off what's been looked away for so long. I bet you're wondering why not black and white like the character you created for yourself. Well, not here, not in this place. You are what your mind is. The colors mean... your down to earth attitude. The way you care about others even if it inconveniences you to a degree you don't admit to. The purity of your soul because of how much you care about the greater good all matched this form of yours.''
I was going to ask about it but, shi beat me to the punch. ``That does answer my question but the remainder is you. Why you? Why a character I don't recognize or even created?'' I asked as shi stepped back from me.
``Because I knew you'd respond better to this than anything else I could have been.'' Shi said just standing there...regally. ``And you've done more than enough to prove it.'' Shi starts to walk towards the door of the room.
``What do I do now? I mean I can't go back to driving trucks.'' I asked and started to follow hir.
Simply pointing to a black binder on the far table near the window, shi flicked hir tail and didn't look at me. ``Keep doing what you do best...Storyteller.''
Shi exited the room and closed the door behind hir as I walked over to the binder and opened it. Written in obviously not my handwriting was a title: ``The New Story''.
END
