Training under Izumi wasn’t fun, nor was it traditional, nor was it practical, nor was it sensical. It was extremely dangerous and probably illegal somewhere.
It didn’t currently matter though. Ed and Al were on their way towards becoming alchemists and this was the way their teacher saw fit to help them achieve what they wanted. They weren’t really swimming with options so they made the most of it. All making the most of it seemed to entail at first was surviving to see another day and that wasn’t super gratifying at the start. Taking beatings from that weird guy in the woods and eventually having to swallow their nerves by capturing, skinning, and eating a rabbit was probably still the most unpleasant hurdle to jump over. The mantra that all living beings were just a complex system of chemicals did very little to help ease their minds at the start.
They did manage to finally jump over all the hurdles put in their way though. Training through this mess had seen both their skills improve tremendously, as far as being about to survive. One thing that needed tending to the most was combat skills though, even now that they were back in civilization. That and a few lessons in maybe being more humble, as far as one of them was concerned.
The two brothers were set to spar against one another and Edward Elric, the older brother of the two, was currently standing with both fists on his hips and his chest puffed out towards his younger brother, Alphonse. “It’s time we clash!”
Alphonse smiled and cracked his knuckles while leering ahead. “Of course it is. How are we going to prove we’ve gotten stronger if we’re not willing to test against ourselves?”
“Test? Nah. This is gonna be a massacre,” Ed sneered before closing his eyes. He then pointed his thumb at his smug little face while finishing his daring proclamation “I’m going to beat you so easily that Winry will hear the bellow of your cries from here. That’s right Al. You’re about to know your place under my foot!” He said, pointing down towards his wiggling bare feet. They both were.
Al made an unamused, pouty face before crossing his arms. “Oh? So it’s like that?”
Ed grinned, eyes open so that the sparkle in them and his teeth could flash in unison. It almost made Al sick. Ed had been acting like he wasn’t just older but a prince of some sort ever since they got back. That brazen cockiness was quite the boon to his peace of mind. Al really wanted to fix that.
“Well, I doubt I’ll be able to find a place under your foot,” Al snickered. “It’s probably just as tiny as you–!”
Instantly, Ed’s face flashed from confident to incensed beyond belief. “Who the hell are you calling smaller than the bread crumb under mom’s couch! I’ll demolish you! Blasphemer!” Ed snapped and shot at Al so quickly that you could swear a string of flames had been left in his wake.
Al giggled at Ed’s reaction at first but his eyes bugged out with shock and awe when Ed was upon him in half a second, radiating body heat in a fit of rage that had to be on par with the devil down in Hell at the moment.
Despite the initial surprise, Al ended up ducking the punch Ed threw his way. When Ed followed up with a roundhouse kick, Al simply rolled to the side and landed on one bended knee.
Edward stomped his foot onto the ground and shifted his gaze to look at his younger brother. The anger had subsided and his cool had returned. Al was surprised by how quickly he recovered there and Ed could tell. That’s why he was smirking again.
“What’s wrong?” Ed asked. “Afraid my magnanimous blows will do irreparable damage to your face?”
Al wiped at his mouth. “Nah. I just like the idea of not getting hit. It makes me feel good knowing you can’t touch me.”
“What?” Ed looked confused before grumbling and rushing forward. “Well, get ready to feel like crap! After all, what’s a dainty little flower like you got behind those wide puppy dog eyes of yours and those marshmallow fists? Hmm?”
Al squinted his eyes. Ed was really relentless with the verbal taunts. Not just today either. He’d grown passionately cocky since surviving that island and this was reaching a week old fever pitch now. It wasn’t fun listening to this anymore.
“D’aaww! Gonna cry? Is that what that look on your face is? Cutey-patootie don’t wanna fight his big bwudda eh?” Ed kept teasing which prompted Al to try and still his breathing. If he got angry, he’d just fall into his trap.
Edward felt great now. He struck towards Al, who ducked back again, now on the ground. He lifted his feet up and booted Ed in his stomach, sending him hurling over his head and slamming onto the grassy dirt behind him.
Ed grunted in pain, suddenly upside down with his legs extended and his butt in the air. That wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all. “GAH! Hold still!”
Al jumped to his feet. “You need me to hold still in order for you to land a blow?”
Ed rolled forward and landed on his feet before shifting to look back at Al, “NO!”
With that, he spun around and sprinted back towards Al. His fist was already peeled back so Al could probably read his follow through easily. Or, at least, that’s what Ed wanted him to think.
Ed went for a kick instead. However, Al caught his foot, rendering Ed off-balance and surprised. He jittered and hopped on one foot for a second before he yelped and fell onto his back, yelping with surprise again.
“Whoops. Sorry,” Al giggled.
“Don’t apologize for something you’re clearly not sorry for!” Ed sounded more insulted than forgiving. Naturally.
He jumped to his feet, closer to Al than ever before now, and rocket punched towards his chest. Al swished to the side, dodging that one in a manner that shocked Ed. It was so quick that it almost seemed fake.
Ed was following through with quick and reckless abandon now. He kept punching and striking at Al who merely shuffled back, kicking dirt in little tiny bits across his bare feet while either dodging or blocking all the strikes Ed was trying to hit him with. He even managed to successfully dodge or block Ed whenever he tried to go for a cheap shot with his knee or a his toes.
Ed was starting to sweat, far more profusely and earlier than he expected to. Al eventually ended up grabbing his arm after one particular attempt and hurled Ed off the ground, over his shoulder and tossed him clear across the fighting area they were in. Ed screamed and landed hard onto his back before attempting to scramble back to his feet.
Al didn’t let him. Instead, he rushed behind Ed and wrapped an arm around his neck and yanked him back into his body. He stretched Ed out a bit with an armbar followed by a cobra clutch that had Edward singing like a birdie. It was extremely painful but the little kicks Ed was doing to try and escape kept making Al laugh.
Ed wasn’t breaking free of this so Al swung him over and tossed him to the ground! Edward was flat on his face with his arms and legs spread while the dominant younger brother stood proudly over him.
Ed was shaking with building up rage on the ground, however. He leered back at Al and seethed before scrambling to his feet.
“You want to make this rough? I’ll pack you in the dirt like fertilizer!” Ed shouted and charged at Al, just completely mad now. Though, a sense of something babyish was in his voice. Despite the intense look on Edward’s face, Al didn’t look scared.
And he wasn’t. All he needed to do was step aside and stick out his foot. Ed tripped right over it and yelped, falling forward before Al grabbed him by his stomach and spun him up and over like a flapjack.
“AAGH!” Ed screamed and slammed onto the dirt. He hit his head and slumped there, ass over tea kettle, with his butt sticking up and his legs flopped on both sides of his head.
Al merely stood there, overlooking him while Ed’s vision hazed a bit. When it managed to come back to something approaching normal, he groaned and rolled over to make sure the upside down vision of Al he saw was upright.
“Y-You little dork! You’re a–GAH!” Ed snapped and rushed at Al again, voice cracking. He took a punch to the face and grunted as his eyes crossed and his tongue flopped out.
Ed tried to strike at him but got more punches to the face, chest, and eventually one to the gut that made him cough and double over while clutching his tummy. Each hit that landed was injecting a more and more intense mound of fear into his heart. Ed looked up again and yelped when Al struck once again but didn’t even need to land the hit before Ed was on his butt. He fell over from the fear of being hit.
When he rubbed his butt and looked back up at Al he screamed and quivered with surprise.
Al’s face looked intense. He was standing in a fighting pose and looked ready to rip him apart. Ed felt a really rough shiver travel down his spine as he scooted back while on the dirt.
Al curled his fingers a bit and looked directly into the rattling pupils of Ed’s eyes. Ed’s heart was thumping. He could feel it about to burst through his chest…!
“Wait!” Ed stuck out both hands, face now pooling with sweat as his body shook. “I-I think that’s good! W-We should stop the fight! R-Right? Y-Yeah! L-Let’s say it’s a draw! G-G-Good match!”
“No,” Al said, sounding serious. “I want to continue. You don’t get to boast and insult me and not finish what you started big brother. Come on.”
Ed went pale. “C-C-Come on! Th-That’s… that was pre-battle banter! I-It’s what we do when–!”
“Nope,” Al said, still serious. “I know what pre-battle banter is. You were insulting me. I could hear it in your voice and I could see it on your face. And you’ve been doing it for a while now too. You’ve learned a lot but so have I. You can’t think that figuring out all the stuff we’ve learned on the island means you’ve reached the highest peak and left me behind when I was there too, learning it all right by your side!”
“I… w-well… y-you just… I’m just–!” Ed began before Al took steps towards him. Ed shrieked. He actually shrieked! How was Al doing this? Was it magic? Was he injecting him with some kind of fear toxin?!
Ed saw Al take one more step closer and lost it. His mind went blank before it restarted and went crazy with panic.
“No! Please!” Ed got on his hands and knees and began begging for mercy. “I concede defeat! You win! You’re super ultra mega awesome or whatever! See? I can be humble! Honest!” He cried, sounding incredibly pathetic. He even crawled towards Alphonse and began kissing his feet.
Al looked down at him, the intense look on his face easing up as he saw the little beads of tears at the edge of Ed’s blushing and fear stricken face.
Al sighed. His big brother was a boastful jerk and had a bit of a pathetic streak to him right now. However, he had the makings of someone who could be better than this and he had to acknowledge that too. What’s a younger brother to do but to help nurture and teach their older brother so that they can grow big and strong?
“Oh okay,” Al sighed, shaking his head. “Sheesh. I can’t believe this is you though. It’s like a huge 180 from where we started.” Al laughed and raised his foot.
He playfully, and extremely lightly, tapped Ed on the forehead with his big toe.
Ed blinked.
Then Ed’s eyes crossed and he felt confusion well up within him. He got dizzy and began to swoon. Then his tongue flopped back out of his mouth and his body spasmed like he just got tased.
Al looked confused but watched as Ed jolted up and then flopped down hard onto his back, arms splayed out on his sides and head tilted to the right. His eyes were rolled up in their sockets and he began drooling, tongue still out with his shorts lowered to show off the preschool caterpillar briefs he had on.
Al looked shocked beyond belief. Was his brother really THAT weak?!
All he did was lightly tap him on the forehead with one of his toes and his body reacted like he got beamed in the head with a brick! That, of all things, was what knocked him out?
“Really?” Al looked down at his now unconscious older brother, disappointment in the air. He raised his bare foot and placed it down onto Edward’s chest in a dominating position. Ed’s noodle-like limbs rose when that happened and flopped back down, expelling air from his stomach. You could almost see the birdies chirping and cheeping as they flew around his head.
“I’ve got a lot of work to do towards making you strong…” Al trailed off. He stood in mere contemplation for about a minute or so before Ed grunted and moaned. He was blinking his way back to consciousness, or trying to at least.
Al raised his foot and brushed the sole of his foot across Edward’s face.
Ed jolted, going limp and out cold once more, completely knocked out. Again.
“... A LOT of work,” Al sighed.
Al grunted as he bent down and lifted his drooling, sleeping brother up and over his shoulder. He turned to carry him back to Izumi’s house so that he could rest. With each walk, Edward’s lowered shorts began dipping more and more before they fell and pooled around his ankles.
They eventually fell off entirely and landed in the dirt. Al didn’t notice. He was too busy contemplating how hard the challenge of teaching this loser was going to be. The people he walked by would take notice of him carrying his older brother in public with his underwear showing off but he wouldn’t react.
Ed may be his responsibility now but it was a responsibility he was proud to have at the very least.
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