Little kid Luffy is still with his bros, Ace and Sabo.
He needs to train and train hard in order to even come close to catching up to their abdominal strength but the fact of that matter remains that he’s still nowhere near as strong as they are. The reason this is important might come as a bit of a surprise to you however. In this tale, Luffy’s desire rests with him and his brother's desire to grow up and become supervillains.
It was a world of superheroes and supervillains and in the Golden Age of Heroes, the pool for some good, strong, powerful supervillains to offset the balance of goodie goodies out there was more important to the ASL brothers than ever.
The three of them admired the supervillains that came to stand in the way of the superheroes that went out to stop them from robbing banks or showing up the Marines with explosive bouts of presentation. They each had ideas in mind for what kind of villain they’d be when they grew up.
Ideas of shiny spandex and “underwear on the outside” were tossed around between the three. None of them wished to wear capes as those were often (not always) seen as the attire for heroes, and old fashion ones at that. This new age needed a cooler, more marketable type of villain and the boys threw around costume ideas all the time.
Still, nothing ever seemed to really matter whenever the conversation landed on Luffy. Even when they finally decided on their villain names and what they wanted their costumes to look like, it was always with a bit of a grain of salt as Luffy was a work in progress. Eventually, however, Luffy grew tired of being considered a work in progress and was determined to make a declaration that he could stand alongside his bros as fellow supervillains.
This came in the form of him acting out though. Luffy’s villain outfit was fun. It was a dark navy blue outfit with purple speedos over it. On his chest was the skull and crossbones signifying his Straw-Hat. His villain persona was the notorious Straw Hat Luffy, a name that he swore would one day ring within the ears of everyone who heard it as the name of a notorious and cool supervillain. His signature Strawhat seemed like something of a powerful symbol already.
He also wore a dark purple eye mask to hide his secret identity. This was the mark of a true villain or hero in a very serious way. Were any villain or hero to have their mask removed, it would land them in a devastating pool of EVERLASTING shame and disappointment, not just for themselves but to the world at large. It was the ultimate taboo to lose your mask and the ultimate humiliation. It was likened to being worse than being stripped naked. A bare body was humiliating but a bare face was career crushing in a way that stretched beyond public humiliation. It became a cosmic humiliation.
That’s part of the reason why Luffy’s constant acting out saw to the frustration of Ace and Sabo so much. He would get himself into constant trouble and get captured all the time whenever the three boys would go out to try and do villain stuff in Got Ham City. The number of close calls that came with Luffy almost losing his mask was too frightening. Plenty of times he’d lose his bottoms and end up having to streak through the darkness in either his briefs or butt naked but for as embarrassing as that was, the blow that would happen should he lose his mask was becoming more and more of a risk.
Eventually, after bailing Luffy out one last time, Sabo and Ace sat down with him to tell him to slow down and that his time would come. Luffy’s response was very undignified.
“Screw you guys! I CAN prove myself! I AM strong! I’m as good as you! I promise!” Luffy jumped to his feet, fully dressed in his supervillain outfit. “I’ll prove it! I know I can do this!” He snapped and stomped past the flabbergasted Ace and Sabo.
“Hey, Luffy!” Ace shouted but Sabo put a hand to Ace’s shoulder and shook his head.
“Let him go cool off,” Sabo said. “He’ll be back for dinner later anyway. You know his tummy functions as a second brain to him.”
Ace was momentarily unsure but nodded. Sabo was usually right about these sorts of things. Usually.
Unfortunately, not today. Luffy didn’t just have a tantrum. He was off to go do exactly what he said he would do. Today, he was to go on a solo mission here at night. He was on his way to a museum and he was going to steal something priceless all on his own!
As the struggles of being a supervillain weigh down Luffy, we shift to the opposite end of the spectrum where equal struggles are found attempting to be a hero.
Enter young Tony Tony Chopper, or as his hero name goes, Chopperman.
With a bright pink mask, a baby blue suit, and a pair of pink speedos that remind you of cherry blossoms floating in the wind, why wouldn’t you take this young lad seriously?
Granted, he’s heard what people had to say about the colors of his outfit. He doesn’t compromise, however. He believes in what he’s chosen to wear and he’ll make it work as he believes, whole-heartedly, that being a hero comes down to your actions and not how silly other people might think you look.
Unfortunately for Chopper, the constant losses he’s suffered with his attempts at being a hero contribute to how people view him. There’s no argument under the sun that could make that not true.
Chopper would always try his very best to be a good superhero. His trademark move was the CUTE SPARK! He’d galavant around and make adorable Puss in Boots faces with sparkles around him to show off how adorable he was to distract his enemies. It always worked… except for the times where it didn’t.
However, even when it did work, his attempts to capitalize on it was usually met with him trying to smack the enemy with a hoof to the face, it not being a hard enough hit to take them down, and then him being put into a headlock, a vice-grip, or being powerbombed until another superhero or the navy arrived to bail him out.
In the interviews where the news would try to ask him what he thought contributed to the saving of the day, he would often stumble over his words and hope that the sweat in his speedos didn’t look too much like something else.
It was becoming too much for him. He wanted to be the best hero in the world but no one took him seriously! He needed to prove himself.
Whereas most heroes would be calling it a day, except for the super scary ones, he was out patrolling in the night and bouncing along rooftops, humming a hero theme he made up himself to motivate him.
“I’m Chopperman! I’m here to save the day! I’m Chopperman! My blossom hoof will make the criminals pay!” He sang to himself, mumbling the rest due to not getting that far with the lyrics, until something caught his eye.
He stopped and put a hoof over his forehead to look ahead and gasped at the museum ahead.
There was a very clear and obvious opening panel in the roof. Someone was very clearly and very obviously breaking into it.
With no other heroes around, Chopper sneered with excitement. He sort of felt bad that he was happy a crime was taking place but it didn’t matter because Chopperman would be there in a jiffy to put a stop to this neerdowell and his or her dastardly deeds.
Chopper scurried along the rooftops before landing in front of the open roof and taking a peek inside.
“Le gasp! I see the vile heathen right there…!” Chopper said, whispering his own commentary to himself as he adjusted the pink face-mask he had on. He had to make sure it stayed on tightly. No one must know his secret identity after all.
The view ahead of him was of a very small boy giggling to themselves as they were stepping away from a now empty pedestal with a priceless Golden Ingit of a South Bird in their hands.
Chopper was momentarily confused, wondering how that boy could have snagged that thing with the laser grid on the floor. It didn’t matter though. His sloppy way at being a villain had given himself away! It was time to be a hero!
“Yes! I got it!” Luffy giggled to himself as he cradled his price. “Once I show THIS to Ace and Sabo they’re gonna flip! It’s super priceless and I did it all by myself! Har har HWAAUGH!”
Luffy was in mid villainous chortle when Chopper’s hooves smashed into the side of his face. The reindeer swung down from the open patch in the roof and launched himself over to nail Luffy in the face!
The golden ingit hit the tiled floor and Luffy bounced against it before spinning and smacking directly into the wall!
He then slid down it with a trail of drool left behind on it.
“Halt villain,” Chopper placed his hoof on the ingit. “In the name of Justice, I, Chopperman, shall put an end to your villainous ways!”
Luffy was on the floor, butt sticking straight up, and dazed beyond belief. His eyes were spinning in their sockets and his mouth was open with dull surprise.
“Haha! Speechless are you? Guess I’ll just restrain you and inform the police!” Chopper pranced on over to Luffy and went to grab him.
However, in the ensuing moments it took for him to do that, Luffy recovered enough to register what Chopper had just said to him.
He was a hero! A hero was here!
When Chopper reached down to put his hooves on Luffy, the young villain swung his elbow back and nailed Chopper right in his blue nose!
“AGH! MY NOSE!” Chopper grabbed his face and doubled back.
Luffy then hurried to his feet and clotheslined Chopper in the neck to get the poor hero to flop down hard onto his back with his legs sticking straight up.
“HWUUGH!” Chopper grunted, eyes crossed and choking in pain a bit.
“I’m Straw Hat Luffy,” The boy exclaimed, grinning wickedly. “The best supervillain in the world!”
Chopper scooted back and hopped to his feet, grabbing at his throat and coughing. “W-Well, that’s fitting since I, Chopperman, am the best superHERO in the world! Guess your reign ends here eh? Surrender and I’ll make this quick–WHOA!”
Chopper had to dodge to the side due to Luffy launching a swift punch at him. Not only that but his arm stretched!
“What the–?! Your arms stretched?!” Chopper asked, dodging about the place as more fists started to rain at him. He was also surprisingly fast.
“Yeah! I’m made of rubber! Although, that attack still hurt…” Luffy said, wondering why. Little did he know it was because a true hero’s fists were full of justice and that could always strike evil at the soul!
Luffy could clearly harm Chopper too though, yet the reindeer was doing a good job of dodging him. Chopper was starting to grin as he realized the trouble Luffy was having hitting him.
“Impressive power but it means nothing if you can’t hit me with it!” Chopper said, sticking his tongue out.
Luffy smiled and then stopped punching. Chopper stumbled, expecting to have to dodge again, when suddenly, Luffy launched both his arms at once and clamped them onto Chopper’s sides.
“ACK!” Chopper gasped, surprised by how easy that was. He felt bad for gloating!
In a split second, Luffy zipped the rest of his body over to Chopper, a wicked grin on his face.
“Gotcha! Now eat me!” Luffy raised his feet and surprised Chopper again by revealing that, like him, he was completely barefoot. Why? He didn’t know. Luffy had taken off his sandals thinking it would be easier to sneak around but now he just liked the idea of shoving his bare feet into Chopper’s face. Which he did!
BAMF!
“MMMMF!” Chopper’s eyes crossed as Luffy’s feet smothered his nose and mouth. Luffy grinned wider as he wrapped his arms all around Chopper’s body to hold him tightly. The reindeer tripped and fell onto his back, wiggling his legs about.
Luffy then stretched his hands out further while they still wrapped around Chopper, and began tickling the reindeer all over his body!
“WHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO! NO! NO FAIR! STOP! STAAHAHAHAHAHA!” Chopper began tearing up instantly, bouncing about and wiggling his bare feet in the air. Luffy saw them as a nice little target and began tickling the soles of his feet too.
Chopper was flopping and humping at the air in an attempt to break away from this. His tongue was out and spit was flying everywhere, along with his tears.
“Give up, hero!” Luffy shouted, nay, demanded as he kept on the tickling onslaught.
Chopper’s laughter reached a high peak but eventually he summoned enough spite and adrenaline to go against the desired fate Luffy wanted for him and pressed his hooves harshly against Luffy’s stomach before kicking off into his gut!
Luffy was shocked by this move and his body hadn’t braced itself at all. He was launched across the room and his arms unraveled… but not before Chopper was launched a bit as well.
Luffy’s head smacked into the opposite wall and he fell hard onto his butt while Chopper face planted the hard floor of the museum.
Both Luffy and Chopper twitched a bit in their painful positions before Chopper scrambled to his feet and heroically shouted like a maniac and charged at Luffy.
Luffy’s eyes were closed…but they shot open when Chopper came roaring at him. He quickly rebounded by launching his head up into Chopper’s chin, dazing the boy and making him stumble about like a punch drunk idiot, before he grabbed the reindeer, hoisted him upside down, and delivered a heavy powerbomb onto the floor!
Chopper’s entire body jerked about and flopped like a stack of toppled over tires when the hit landed. He twitched and shivered a few more times before Luffy, while panting, raised his foot to stomp on him.
At the last second, however, Chopper rolled out of the way, causing Luffy’s foot to ram against the floor!
“OWW!” Luffy snapped and jumped up and down, holding his poor feet.
Chopper rolled to his feet and wiped the snot from his nose. His eyes were trying hard to focus but with a few smacks to his cheeks, he got a determined look on his face and leered ahead at his opponent.
“Okay then… I didn’t want to have to use this but you’ve left me no choice. It’s time for my signature move… CUTE SPARK!” Chopper shouted and got into a dynamic Power Rangers-esque pose.
Luffy’s eyes shot open as a sudden bright, sparkling light radiated from Chopper and illuminated the room. An air of adorableness was flashing all over the place. It almost felt like the hue of the room had turned a bright pink and floating around Chopper were bright, warm, twinkling sparkles of cuteness.
Luffy’s gaze was transfixed.
It was tantalizingly adorable.
Chopper’s big, wide, powerful eyes blinked, suddenly with visible eye lashes. He pranced around back and forth, skipping to his loo like no one’s business. He even pretended to play with little toy cars he grabbed from nowhere and did a cute little butt dance before poking his head between his legs as if playing peek-a-boo.
Luffy’s eyes were rolling and his cheeks were flushed a little pink. His eyes then began fluttering a bit as he smiled.
“Soooo… cuuuuute…!” Luffy murmured, swaying back and forth before Chopper grinned and charged at him!
The cuteness haze was gone. Chopper’s body and face had returned to normal in an instant but that was okay because the Cute Spark had done its job, as it (almost) always reliably did. Straw Hat Luffy was on his knees while Chopper was now in mid-air with a kick to the face that sent Luffy straddling onto his back.
Luffy laid there, arms out, tired and confused, before Chopper rested his bare feet on Luffy’s nose and mouth and began to smother him into unconsciousness!
“Take that villain! You lose!” Chopper grinned, proud of his maneuver.
Luffy was still confused but was unable to do anything properly to stave off what was happening to him. His arms flailed about and he attempted to clamp Chopper’s legs but they slid down the mere instant they touched his fur due to the lack of oxygen taking its toll.
Then, they flopped to their sides, leaving Luffy passed out cold with his eyes closed before the dominant reindeer.
“YES! HAHAHA! I win!” Chopper screamed and spread his legs as he shouted to the ceiling. “I’m a hero to the end. Now to ensure you’re rendered a massive disgrace!”
There was only one thing left to do.
Chopper reached down, ever so slowly, and grabbed at Luffy’s face mask. With a wicked grin, he made to tug it off… and got a HARSH knee to the crotch instead!
“HOOOOOOFUGH!” Chopper’s eyes crossed and spit flew from his mouth as he was nailed down below. The sound of glass cracking echoed throughout the room as his baby makers were smashed.
The reindeer choked back air as he grabbed his balls and through hazy eyes looked down at Luffy, who smirked with an eye open at him.
Luffy hadn’t fully passed out.
Chopper growled and raised his foot… but Luffy grabbed it and made Chopper go off balance. The reindeer let go of his aching balls and flopped to the floor.
Luffy then raised his foot and pressed it down onto Chopper’s crotch again!
“HYAAAAAAH! STOP! STOP IT!” Chopper screamed before he wrapped his leg around Luffy’s arm. He attempted to toss Luffy to the floor with the momentum of his leg fighting back and it worked.
However, Luffy quickly sprung back to his feet and raced forward. Chopper, while panting, crawled to his feet only to be met with a punch to the face that twirled him around like a ballerina!
Chopper stumbled about, looking dazed and confused, while Luffy kept on his onslaught.
The boy punched his gut, making him double over, he then did an armbar to his face and then rammed it with his elbow over and over while holding Chopper’s arm. Chopper’s face sprung back and forth multiple times before he was eventually made to topple over like a wet sack of potatoes onto the floor.
Chopper grunted and attempted to get up but Luffy reached down and yanked him back up by the back of his speedos!
“AACK! WEDGIEEE!” Chopper screamed before he was pantsed! “GAAH! OOF!” His speedos and spandex at his feet, Chopper’s balance was lost as Luffy kept wailing on him with his fists. Eventually, Chopper’s body went limp and kept flopping about like a ragdoll.
Luffy then grunted as he grabbed Chopper and raised him up with a crotch claw.
He delivered a brainbuster that made Chopper flop like a fish, eyes crossed and a derpy smile on his face, before slumping to the floor.
“Another one!” Luffy shouted, raising Chopper up again and doing a backwards suplex that rammed him into the floor again. He flopped onto his back with his legs spread.
“Not done yet!” Luffy exclaimed as he lifted Chopper’s limp body up once more and then delivered a Biel throw that saw Chopper spin through the air and slam down hard onto his face.
Chopper humped and twitched against the floor but he wasn’t voluntarily getting up again. He was done.
Luffy panted with his hands on his knees and then used his foot to flip Chopper over onto his back.
“I… WIN… loser…!” Luffy pointed at the reindeer, as he wore a goofy, unconscious look on his drooling cuckoo face.
Luffy then sucked in a breath and then reached down while taking out his Mini Transponder Snail and setting it to record. “One more thing to do…!” He said as he got this next bit all on tape.
He grabbed at Chopper’s face mask… and… REMOVED IT!
It was off!
Chopper’s humiliation had now reached eternal cosmic level!
Luffy raised the mask up, while keeping the snail at a recording angle downward as he set it on the wall so that it would stick there in place. He then planted his foot onto Chopper’s stomach to get the best shot he could before it took a photo.
“YEEEEAAAH! A hero’s a hero but everyone loves a good VILLAIN!” Luffy grinned at the snail on the wall. His victory was being recorded and snapshots were going off in intervals.
Luffy got this video recorded with the photos in between at different angles too.
He moved his foot over to Chopper’s chest for one and posed for that one too. He also moved his foot over to press it into Chopper’s cute face, forcing the reindeer’s eyes to close a bit from the shift in his facial features a bit.
Luffy, when he was done posing, got off of Chopper and tugged the bottom half of his spandex and speedos completely off, leaving him in his Care Bears briefs.
Luffy giggled a bit, “What a baby! Such dumb undies! HA!” he said before he began tying him up.
Chopper’s arms were tied together with his speedo and the bottoms of his spandex were used to tie his legs together.
Then, with a happy salute, Luffy escaped through the opening in the ceiling and left Chopper on the floor, now snoring in his unconsciousness.
It didn’t take long for word of this disgraceful loss to get out.
Luffy gloated like a king to his brothers about his victory and the video made the rounds a bit.
Unfortunately, while the three brothers celebrated Luffy’s coming of age, Chopper’s humiliation saw him fall further than anyone had ever seen.
With his face having been exposed to the world along with his briefs, further attempts to propagate himself as a hero were left with mocking laughter followed by knockouts of a similar caliber.
The amount of images of his cross-eyed face and underwear clad butt that made the rounds from failed attempts at heroism after that were intense.
All he could do on the latest video of his latest loss, was sing in a daze his new theme song.
“Das how Chappy Baby became dumb dumb baby butt the loser deer boy! Duuuur!” Chopper sang, upside down, in his underwear, with no face mask on, knocked completely cuckoo, as the villains he tried to stop that day ran off with their loot while filming his loss.
All in a day’s work for Chopperman; the untraditional hero of entertaining the masses with his constant cosmic humiliating losses.
Everyone does their part. Some just do it in different ways, and like it or not, that was his way now.
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