What happened this morning feels like it happened months ago. I can barely believe the last night happened at all, and watching Martha walk down the street is but a fairy tale like memory in my mind. Watching the rising sun making her fur shine like gold, all the while she strolled with a happy face. I can barely get ahold of my thoughts. This is a new experience for me and one that I never thought I would have to handle, especially considering it was a dog that made me feel like this.
I sat down on the table with my hot cocoa, contemplating the place where she ate her dinner last night. I drank the whole cup in one go and looked at the chair again. Still empty.
The morning went by quickly as I was unpacking the rest of my stuff, which didn’t take me long since I barely had any things to care about, just now I realized that. Maybe I could buy some plants or new furniture, so this place doesn’t look so empty, like my old apartment…
After thinking about renovations for a while I got ahold of an important detail; this was going to be quite a project which would require a moderate budget, and I was effectively unemployed. A great start for my plans, I guess. So, I made it a priority to look for a job today, be it a half time or a onetime only task, as long as I had some money until I thought of a way to get a stable income. As I made my way into the city I thought of the possibilities: What could a systems engineer do over here to get a good income without sacrificing most of the day? The ideas came in and went away one after another until I arrived at a familiar place. I noticed instantly, maybe because my brain was prepared to be suddenly startled by a voice coming from under my knees, but much to its frustration this time there was no one down there offering to walk me home. I took a good look to the place. I don’t know why, but I wanted to remember every detail of it. It was just your average outskirts street, houses on one side, trees, and mountains on the distance, and right to my side was Ramon’s vinyl store, long closed it seems but still with all its decorations on, as if it refused to die or let the passing of time take the best of it. The road on my back, where cars passed by from time to time, making it so it was safe enough to just stand in the middle of it for a while without worrying. This kind of tranquility is what tempted me to move here in the first place. I felt thankful that I could achieve so, and overall, thankful of meeting who I already consider my first and best friend, right in this very place where I am standing.
My first stop was a butchery tended by a kind looking bald guy. It was a small place, so I didn’t have high hopes.
“Good morning! What can I do for you?” he said with a clear and welcoming voice. His nametag read ‘Karl’.
“Uuh, good morning. You see I’m looking for a job and…”
“Well good news for you, I do need someone to help me clean the freezers. I will pay you well as long as you do a good job.”
‘Well, that was fast,’ I thought to myself. It was a one day only job, but any money is better than nothing, so in a few minutes I was in the back scrubbing the things with all my might, lost in my thoughts while listening to music at a moderate volume, just in case Karl needed help with anything else. I could hear him humming and chopping on the front until the doorbell ringed, a client had gotten in, nothing of my interest until she talked.
“Good morning Karl!” It was a feminine cheery voice, one I recognized instantly.
“Martha! Doing errands early in the morning?”
The two of them spoke with such naturality it made me jealous for some reason.
“Sorry about the drool.”
“It’s no problem, ready to try my new acquisition? I need an expert’s opinion.”
Before I noticed I was already standing by the door watching the two of them talk, Karl grabbed a piece of meat from the counter and tossed it to Martha. She grabbed it midair and landed with such majesty, despite her pudgy shape. I felt like I was struck by lightning and a truck, an electrified truck? Never mind, but my entire body trembled when she turned and looked at me, staring directly at my face, just then I noticed how stupid I looked standing on the door frame like some sort of braindead chimp.
“Hey! It’s you!” Martha darted around the counter with total confidence and stood on two legs leaning on my tights with her forepaws. I looked in awe at her face, she had a smile all over it. She looked too cute, and I wanted to squeeze her between my arms, but my body wouldn’t react. “Thank you so much for letting me stay overnight yesterday! And uhm...calming me down during the storm,” she giggled in embarrassment.
I was pathetically trying to say something; my brain was battling to decide between ‘no problem’, ‘You are welcome’ and ‘no worries’, I’m pretty sure I was about to say ‘You no prorries’ but thank goodness Karl spoke before me.
“Oh! You know him?”
“Yeah, I walked him back home yesterday and he let me stay for the night in exchange,” she said proudly. Karl laughed. I could feel my blood rushing to my face and making me tomato red.
“Come on...Don’t say it like that...” At that moment I couldn’t decide between staying with Martha or to hide in the back with the freezers.
“So, Martha, this guy just came in and asked for a job. I was trying him out but now that I have my most trusted judge here...what do you say? Should I keep him?”
Both of them turned around and looked at me. Martha inspected me carefully from head to toes, examining me meticulously, sniffing me from every angle, and lastly, leaning on my legs again, trying to get as close to my face as she could.
“Quick, cats or dogs?”
“Dogs!” I answered like a soldier without thinking. Martha smiled proudly and wagged her tail.
“Keep him around Karl, you can trust him.”
It felt good to receive a compliment from Martha. After that she simply took another sample from Karl and said goodbye, just like an everyday thing. It didn’t take long before Karl reminded me that I was there to clean the freezers and he expected me to do so, a kind way to tell me to get the fuck back to work I guess.
Time went by with nothing remarkable happening. I was done with those freezers and getting ready to head home after collecting my pay with Karl. He of course made sure to check that I did a decent job, not being the kind of guy who likes silence he was chatting while doing so.
“So, you know Martha I see.”
“Yeah, we met just yesterday” Somehow this felt like an interrogation. “A talking dog, huh? Never expected to see something like that.”
“You didn’t know about her already?”
“Nope, I guess she is a local celebrity, but since I’m new in town...”
“Oh, that quite explains it. I can see she is quite fond of you too.”
“She is!?” I could not contain my emotions right there, which got me a glare from Karl, and quite a crave to punch myself on the face for being such an idiot.
“Yeah...She isn’t the kind to jump on people to greet them; I guess she might have seen something in you. She mentioned something about staying at your home last night, right?”
It sounds weird when he says it like that.
“Yeah...She wanted to walk me home for some reason, and then it started to rain, the rain turned into a storm, also it was really late and well, I couldn’t let her go home like that you know.”
Karl simply hummed to mark out that he was listening. He closed the last freezer and turned back to me.
“Well, it seems that you did a nice job with these. I wouldn’t mind having you around for sure, but this place is small and sometimes even I find myself without much to do. Still, maybe I can have you over to clean the freezers, help me unload the merch, and such. But I guess you are looking for an actual job with a decent pay aren’t you?”
I nodded. Karl stood there in silence, like he was trying to figure out something.
“Maybe I can’t give you a job, but I know of a friend that is trying to start a small tech shop, he might need some employees you know. I will recommend you to him, if you want the job of course.”
“That would be great! Oh wait, first I need to know how far away it will be. I don’t have a car and I’m still not sure how the public transport works over here...” Upon saying that, Karl’s expression changed to a worried one.
“Now, that will be a problem: he plans to set his first store on an old music shop near the suburbs, I think it was called Ramon’s vinyl shop or something?” He said while looking away and cleaning his hands with a rag, which he let go off when I yelled.
“That’s not so far away from my house! Oh, sorry, but yeah it isn’t far away from where I live right now.”
Karl and I didn’t chat much after that. He said he would certainly recommend me to his friend and my spot as an employee in his tech shop was almost guaranteed. Even though that would have to wait for a while, it was like destiny was setting everything up to go as I want, or as if it knew what I would want. It is almost like payback after years of misery. Still, it wasn’t time to celebrate. I would have to spend at least one month living just off of whatever Karl pays me occasionally, it was better than nothing, but it wasn’t as good as a regular pay would be. Besides that, there was something that kept echoing inside my head, something Karl mentioned, ‘I can see she is quite fond of you’; I wonder if he really meant it when he said that, or was he simply trying to have a conversation? He did say that she wasn’t the kind to jump on people to greet them, so maybe he meant it. Still, what would have I done for her to like me? Was it that I let her stay in my home? Or maybe that I invited her to have dinner, an entire chicken for herself to be precise. Or perhaps when I allowed her to sleep in my bed when she was scared. Or...was it what I said in the morning...
Lost in my thoughts as always, I didn’t notice I was already by the park again. The sun would start to set in about one hour or so. Maybe I could take a nap like last time. I think I’m foolishly hoping that if I oversleep again Martha would walk me back home like last night. That’s stupid. Not to mention this time there are some kids playing by, it might be just two of them but they are being quite noisy with their dogs... Wait a second, that’s Martha! So she does live like a normal dog after all, or maybe that is her daughter? No, that is impossible, they wouldn’t let a dog adopt a kid even if she could talk and fend for herself...Now that I notice I’m just here standing, staring at some kids play with their dogs. Me, a scruffy creep, maybe I should walk away before I get in any trouble. After all, trying to get near Martha would just make things look worse, won't it? I guess I wasn’t getting any luckier. Well then, there is always another chanc-...
“Hey! It’s you again!”
Oh my fucking god, me and my luck.
Martha ran straight to me, which got some confused looks out of her friends. This time I made sure to catch her, which made her look even more happy, licking my cheek a few times eagerly.
“Getting off work I guess? Tell me Karl hired you, or else I will go chew him up, literally and figuratively.”
“No, no. No need to. He hired me. I will go back in two days or so.”
“Martha, is that a friend of yours?” The red headed girl approached us along with a blonde boy and dog bigger than Martha, I felt surrounded somehow. Her expression was a concerned one. “Good afternoon,” she said to me.
“Yes, he is the one that let me stay at his house last night when rain got us.”
“Oh, that was you? Thank you for taking care of Martha last night. And uhm, she mentioned that she ate a whole chicken by herself. I don’t have any money right now but...” She seemed to look for something in her pockets.
“No problem, it was a gift, you don’t have to pay for it.” She let out a sigh of relief, I then noticed my hands were still resting around Martha’s neck, kind of like a hug. She looked happy and not bothered at all about it. Her smile melted my heart almost instantly. Still, I released her just in case, making sure to not make it look as natural as possible. “So, I guess you must be Helen?”
“Yes, nice to meet you!” She offered to give me a handshake, I accepted of course, even though it looked like the two of us were uncomfortable.
“So...” You could almost see the tension in the air. “Well, I guess I will head home now.”
“Wait, that soon? Wouldn’t you like to stay with us for a while? We are playing catch, and we still have one hour before dinner,” Martha said eagerly, or maybe impatiently, but she definitely wanted me to stay, you could tell by the way she leaned her body towards me.
“Martha, he, uh, he probably has a lot of things to do at home and doesn’t has time to lose with us. Right?” Helen picked up the situation quickly. Before I could utter a proper excuse, the blonde kid, who for some reason was wearing a t shirt with a tomato in it, showed a ball to the bigger dog, making sure to get his attention.
“Come on guys, next who brings me the ball first gets half of my dinner!” He then teased the ball, now with Martha’s attention too.
“Oh well, in that case, see you around! Wait, Skits! No running while I’m talking! That’s cheating!” She said while she ran behind that ball.
“Thanks you two,” I said, a little bit relieved.
Both kids just made an affirming gesture and walked away to where Martha and Skits went. I guess they wanted to end the conversation as quickly as possible. I can’t blame them to be honest, the situation was already quite weird. I felt bad for doing Martha like that, but it was for the best, the last thing I needed is people spreading awful rumors about me around town.
I arrived home soon after, as the sun was starting to set. ‘Martha must be already home by now,’ I thought. Seeing that I was alone at home made me feel a hole in my chest. I then punched myself in the face. It hurt, but I wanted it to.
“I can’t believe I fell in love with a dog,” I said loudly after letting out a big groan of frustration, like making sure that I was listening to myself.
Still, I didn’t feel like forgetting Martha, or even trying to. After all, until now I never felt something like this. It is probably very wrong, but I want to cling to these feelings. Today I didn’t have much luck getting along with her, but now I know she likes me too. Maybe not in the same way as I do, but it is better than nothing.
Maybe my bed will feel more empty tonight, but my heart is full with resolution.
