Hey, there, I'm Tanya. Well... Tawniya, I guess.
The counselors said I should make this video and... I guess maybe it'll help? I dunno. I don't really wanna talk about it, but since no one will see this but me, maybe it's fine. Maybe.
Well, um, I was born here in Centrus. I don't really know many other Leos that well. Besides my family, I mean. I guess that's a lot, cause there's, like, 30 of us in The Compound right now. For me, that's normal. There's other compounds, but they don't like us, much. Dad says they're jealous. I think Dad probably just screwed them over at some point.
But since Grandpa Moti died, everyone here was born in the city. It feels weird, I guess. My best friend, Yora, she was born in Pardia. She says she doesn't remember it at all, but at least she was _there_, you know?
She even got to keep her name. "Yora". I gotta use Tanya, cause my real name is "not who Centran Leos are".
Being Centran kind of sucks, if you ask me. I mean, I know most Dein would want to be here, and I know I'm lucky 'cause my dad's rich, but... ugh. The Dein here are fucked up! This city just... I dunno. I don't think it's what we were made for.
We're all fucked up.
....
School's okay, though. Was okay, anyway. I dunno what it'll be like when I go back. If I can go back. I don't know what's worse... the people who look at me like I'm some kinda murderer, or the ones who think I'm a victim.
Everyone knows who I am, now, so it's always one or the other. Only Yora knows what went down for real. And, I guess, Guy... Probably won't be seeing him again...
Just another hole I made, I guess.
Anima's going to be different, that's all I know. At least Yora will still be there. She didn't get in trouble, thank the fuckin' Kings. I don't know if I could do it without her.
Been saying that since I was a cub, I guess.
She and I made friends in Youngling School. I could barely talk, and she only knew Pardian. But I could tell she was special. So fierce! Quiet, but... fierce. I knew she was special and I was right.
She's still pretty much everything I wish I could be. Just like my dad. Just like grandpa Moti... I guess that's me. The girl who wishes she was other people.
....
After... _it_ happened... I don't know. I thought there was at least one thing I was good at. My dad always said it's easy to know how to get ahead, cause it's whatever you're good at. You _feel_ it, he says. You just have to keep going and chase that feeling, no matter what.
Well, I felt it. I kept going, no matter how much it hurt. Who it hurt... Didn't exactly get me ahead, did it?
Thanks, Dad...
I thought I wanted to be like him. Maybe it's better this way. That's one less person I want to be, right?
Yora's so brave. What she did with Guy... I dunno. I wanna think I got the balls, but I don't know.
....
I really gotta be better. That's what I know. Yeah. I'm gonna be better.
Heh, maybe it's that easy, right? Maybe I just make a new me. I'll be brave, like Yora. Tough like grandpa Moti. Smart like my dad... Smarter! Maybe that can be me?
Better. Yeah.
Okay, shit, I don't want to cry and record it! Stupid, fucking counselors don't know shit!
...How the fuck do you turn this thing off?
