Let’s go to the mall:
By TerraMGP
Collin had never called an Uber before. Honestly, He’d never had a reason to. True he wasn’t poor, but he also wasn’t given tons of pocket money. Or at least it never felt like it. Fifty bucks now and then seemed like a lot, but the plastic crack of tabletop war gaming was a quick sink for any allowance. Besides, the only place the wah ever wanted to go before now was the game shop, and he could easily bum a ride from his best friend for that.
Well, no. That wasn’t quite true. There were plenty of places that the way would have wanted to go. Go to the mall, go out to eat, just drive around. Any sort of freedom from the routine set by his parents. Any way to just choose not to participate in the endless cycle between school, music lessons, home and occasionally tutors whenever his parents felt he needed to do better in some subject.
Collin was trapped. A boy without freedom. Without purpose beyond that which his mother had planned out for him. A boy trapped in an endless cycle leading inevitably into…
Into what? That was the question. A question Collin had never been able to really ask. A question only Kathoey could ask. And now she was asking. Now she was finally taking charge. She could care less about blowing thirty bucks round trip to go somewhere Justin probably would have taken her for free. Not that she didn’t enjoy it. The idea of maybe having the otter ’girl’ Justine hanging around her. Going out to the mall and geeking out about cloths on Mistress’ orders. It was actually something she probably had to see about doing some time soon. But this wasn’t about him. This wasn’t even about Collin. This was about freedom, about Kathoey. The next step from parading around her own little town. Not to mention a way to avoid getting spotted by someone she knew again. God, the fact that Esme had even seen her formed this delicious little knot of dread deep in her gut.
In her other life, her other ’self’ as it were, Kathoey wasn’t really much of a mall rat. Few people likely were in this day and age. It was something her parents generation did, and even then it sure as hell wasn’t ’her’ parents doing it considering the state of China back then. She was expecting to just draw in the stares of the Midwestern prudes and revel in the freedom of being herself somewhere further from easy detection. Yet as she pranced her way though her first pass of the mall, Kathoey found herself rushing with endorphins. She all but skipped between shops. The cheap knickknack shops selling those cheap glass statues her sister liked. Clothing stores. The only record store she knew of anywhere in a hundred miles.
Very little of it actually interested her. Worse still she didn’t have the money for much. Still she made a mental note on what places to explore beyond the gamestop even as she pranced her way though to the food court and got herself the biggest pina coolata Julius she could.
It was freedom. It was addicting. Best of all, she had all day to figure out how to use that freedom. A whole day by herself in a crowd. A chance to find herself outside of her friends, outside of her Mistress, outside of Collin.
She stopped just before stepping on the escalator. Kathoey slipping down to a crouch on the balls of her feet as she gazed down at the figures walking along below her. It took everything she could muster just to keep her tail from swishing happily on the dusty floor and getting trampled by careless mall-goers.
There he was. Kevin. The loose basketball jersey the brown-haired bull boy usually wore over his whipcord frame had been replaced with one from some team or other. Probably the one in Detroit if Collin had to guess. He stood just outside of a sneaker shop with a couple of boys Kathoey didn’t recognize. Chatting with each other idly and munching on cheese fries. Going on as if they hadn’t a care in the world.
And maybe they didn’t. But that could change.
Kathoey kept her eyes locked on target while doing her best to seem oh so very casual about it. She practically sauntered her way to the escalator and down to the lower floor. Her eyes wandering wildly and head lulling like a manic, carefree pixie. Only the smallest pang of anger showed on her face when it was clear that Kevin wasn’t paying attention. Watching him fiddle with the dumb hunks of leather and rubber. Still she made every effort to give the toned boy a brush of the tail while prancing past him and his friends. Walking into the store and humming to herself. The bushy whipping cudgel of fluff trailing behind her careful to ‘accidentally’ brush him with the force of a feather duster.
She didn’t look back after that. Just waiting. Baiting out the reaction. The hmming and hawing just quiet enough to hear the boys behind her yammering and muttering to each other. Listening carefully as steps slowly began to thud up behind her.
“Hey there. Uh, um. You ok?” Kevin’s voice was painfully clear. It was the same as it always was, yet at the same time drained of the bravado and entitlement he so often displayed in school. Kathoey turned her head to look at him. Glancing though the cover of the beanie, wig and glasses to see if the abusive jock would recognize her face. Just the raw worry filling her was enough to make her gut flip wildly. Then it was joined by bashful recognition. She turned her attention back to the black and white checkered converse sneakers sitting amid the array of display shoes. It was something she assumed was ‘geeky’ enough in a way that a boy like this might not scoff at instantly. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t mind.
“Yeah, You uh, you kinda thwapped me with your tail there a second ago. I didn’t know if I like… did I do something wrong?” He moved himself over to the wall and leaned on it. The ice broken, Kevin was now trying to be smooth. His powerful body intentionally flexed ever so slightly. His eyes growing a tiny touch more confident.
At school he was invulnerable. Girls hung off of him like some Frank Frazetta painting. Everyone showered him with praise. In his element he was a god. But this wasn’t Kevin’s element. Kathoey was starting to realize that they were in hers now. Quickly she began to shift and parrot the moves she remembered from idols and anime. Gripping her hands behind her back, holding her index finger loosely. Knocking her knees just a bit, grinding the sole of her shoe into the commercial grade carpet below it.
The jock boy ate it up. His grin growing bigger, somehow both confident and dopey at once.
Kathoey leaned in. Her eyes meeting his. The wig hair falling loosely over her face as she tilted this way and that. Her mind flashing to half a dozen girls she could be copying. The whole thing made her feel like some motion capture controlled doll. Pre-programmed seduction assaulting the poor dope who didn’t know what was going to hit him.
“Yeah, my tail doesn’t like to do what I tell it.” Kathoey noted. “Besides, I’m really just here to browse. I don’t know much about shoes.”
“I thought girls were all about shoes.” Kevin blinked a bit upon hearing that. His friends snickered, and he shot them a glance. Once again the boy looked more confident as he looked back. The muscles flexing sharply under his jersey. He was showing off now. Posing like some statue. And really who could blame him? Physically he was an object of radiant worship for those who went that way A brown-bronze Adonis.
This left the wah wondering which to play. Aphrodite? Persephone? Apollo?
She sighed to herself and suppressed a giggle. This really wasn’t the time for her brain to wander. Instead the girl simply leaned back and looked him over once more. A curt fiddle with her glasses driving home her disinterest in the whole situation. “So, were you going to ask for an apology or something? I mean, I don’t think I could have hurt you if I tried.” She chuckled
“What? Oh nah. Nothing like that. Accidents happen.” Kevin nodded to his friends and then looked back at her “I was just wondering if everything was ok. I don’t mean to brag.” he lied “But I happen to be something of an expert. Kinda have to if you wanna play B ball.”
Kathoey giggled a bit and leaned in, looking him over with a faux-critical eye. “is that what the shirt is for?” she asked playfully.
“Called a Jersey.” Kevin corrected “And yeah. Play as much as I do and you just get used to it. Still, I’m kinda surprised you’re not in one of the girl shoe stores. I thought you girls all loved that kind of thing.”
“Well some do.” Kathoey shrugged “But you have to know girls aren’t all the same.”
The comment seemed to hit the bull boy right between the eyes. “I know that.” He stammered a bit too quickly “I more mean, ya know. Cute ones.”
The wah snickered at this and stepped in a bit closer. Even with his muscles, his strength, his bravado, she could feel him bending. Feel how plant he was in the face of a ‘real’ woman. A girl who wasn’t going to just be impressed with his body. She saw the blush. Saw the fidgeting. Grinned ever wider before leaning back and giving him some breathing room.
“So you think I’m cute.” Kathoey finally chirped. The boy didn’t answer. But his growing blush made it all too clear. “I guess this was your way of hitting on me, then?”
“I wouldn’t say hitting on ya. More just flirting. I mean come on, is it really a shock?”
Kathoey turned away from him now. Feigning at least a bit of disinterest as she looked though the items on offer. “I don’t know.” She mused “You’re on a sports team. Isn’t that ‘the’ surefire way to get girls?”
This comment was enough to get Kevin a bit of his confidence back. He grinned wide, then felt the grin falter, shaking his head just a bit. “Well I guess so, yeah. I’ve dated a few of em in my high school. But so what? It’s not like girls outside the school can’t be cute. And besides, you’re only like the third red panda I’ve ever met.”
That comment actually drew a surprised snort from the manic pixie wah with the blue wig. It also drew more snickers from the boy’s friends. Kevin turned to stare daggers at his supposed wing men before turning back, blushing furiously at her, trying like hell to undo the thing he’d just said.
“So what, can’t get one of those girls to go out with you, and you got a type? Is that it?” Kathoey asked as she wrinkled her nose. Drawing out just a bit of her own Mistress in her tone. Watching the firmness almost crush the insecure façade.
Kevin shook his head frantically. The boy actually taking a half step back and raising his hands to ward off the accusation. “I mean, I’m not one of those guys who just looks up Asian girls as a fetish or something. But ya know, it’s a bit uncommon. Besides it’s only one girl. Some dweeb from the year below mine dating the school psycho. Besides, you gotta be careful dating nerds like that. Before you know it you end up dressed in some kind of costume and everyone gets on your case. Not saying there’s anything wrong with smart girls. You sure as hell seem smart.”
The wah rolled her eyes and sighed. Offering him a reassuring smile. “Relax. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. God, are all you hunk boys this bad at flirting?”
“What do ya mean bad at flirting?” Kevin blinked “Come on, I’m just trying to be nice here. Why you gotta-”
“Jeeze, I’m teasing you. Relax.” Kathoey snickered. Technically this was true. She was teasing him. Tormenting her abuser by making him flirt with someone he would have thought of as a boy. Watching him make an ass of himself without the mystique of their school sports team. True he could probably beat her to a pulp. But she could do far more than that. And it would be so much fun, too. If she let herself.
The bull boy looked back at his friends again, then cast his eyes on the red panda. His smile only growing wider. That strong farm boy face set with every shred of the confidence he wore the week after a big game. “Well, I’m sorry. But I just think you’re cute and I’m trying to feel ya out. Sure, guys probably ask you out all the time. But I’m sure you wouldn’t mind a guy grabbing you lunch some time. Right? Uh…”
“Kathy.” She sighed. “Seriously, maybe you should ask a girls name before asking her out.”
“Aww come on. I just forgot.” Kevin muttered as he leaned back and scratched the back of his head nervously. “Come on now, don’t break my heart. I’ll have to go home and listen to Drake all night. Nobody wins with that.”
Kathoey rolled her eyes and sighed, her tail flicking once more. She leaned in, looking at him with a cold, firm, judging stare. Bouncing on her heels as if to emphasize her height difference with him. He didn’t notice as she yanked a marker from her pocket. One she’d used earlier that day to write dirty things on her body and hide them under her cloths. She then took his massive hand and began writing a number into it. Not her own cell number, but the burner one she’d gotten to use telegram.
And under it, in her best ‘girly’ handwriting, ‘Kathy’. Complete with a little heart over the Y.
“Here, let me know when you’re feeling a bit braver.” She said. With that Kathoey began to walk off. Smugly smirking to herself as she did so.
--------------------
November was a funny thing in Michigan. On the one hand the leaves turned brown and red the same as anywhere else in the north. A walk down any of the countless trails would offer up dazzling displays and romantic scenes for any couple. But here one could enjoy those scenes in shorts and a light top if they wanted. Or a heavy coat. Sometimes in the same week, and not always in that order.
Kathoey wasn’t quite sure if that was exclusively a Michigan thing. Or if part of it was the result of climate change in some way. The weather had been erratic ever since he could remember. Half the year likely to be a frozen waste broken up by spurs of summertime heat. So it was important to enjoy the few ‘mild’ days while one could. Fortunately she’d managed to pick her day out on one of those mild days.
Admittedly the day had been fucked. It almost seemed to be a theme any time she tried to venture away from Mistress’ side dressed as herself. A walk in sixty five degree weather with a brand new jacket, a proper girly jacket, was almost enough of a balm to make up for her dilemma.
She felt good as she walked down the sidewalk, watching the trees planted intermittently to help give the more urban environment a connection to nature. The newly bought pink jacket hung off of her shoulders. Worn almost like a cloak as the cooler air bit and nipped at her exposed neck fur and legs. It was a comfy feeling. Akin to keeping a fan on ones face while huddled under a pile of blankets.
Even more than that, though, she felt pretty. She’d bought something for herself. Not to impress anyone. Not to be a sex toy. Not even really to show off. She’d gotten something for ‘her’. Done something for ‘her’. It felt good.
The Wah wondered if this was what some people talked about with girls having ‘credit therapy’ or whatever some people called it. Some small part of the nervous and neurotic Wah worried that this little feeling might be the preamble to a shopping addiction. Not exactly the kind of thing a war gaming fan needed in her life. Then again, the idea of sucking dicks in a truck stop for plastic crack got a bit of a giggle out of her, if nothing else.
Thoughts of money soon drifted to thoughts of food. Specifically the fact that she hadn‘t eaten anything since the drink she‘d downed in the mall. The wah pulled out her phone and turned on the app for the burner money card she‘d gotten. Twenty bucks. Not enough for anything good nearby. Even she knew that. Less if she wanted to make it home without calling in a favor from Justin. She‘d be damned if she did that.
It was enough for something, though. The girls eyes instantly fixated on a coffee shop not far up the sidewalk. And then she got an idea.
Nobody seemed to notice as she stood in line flipping though her phone. She both loved and hated that. She wasn’t a ’boy in a skirt’ as far as they knew. If she was then a few karens might have already attacked her or something for it. But the lack of attention was a bit annoying all the same. So much so that she barely noticed when it was her turn to order. The wah girl quickly looking back at her phone and parroting off the order she’d kept saved for this moment. With that done she watched the girl behind the register roll her eyes, wrote down her name for them to slap on her drink, and went off to sit down. Counting every second anxiously as she waited to hear her name.
“Kathoey?!”
The name was called out and the wah shivered. It was… odd. Very odd. It was one thing for Mistress or Justine to call her that. But this? The words of the barista caused a shiver that fluffed the wah’s tail from base to tip. She lingered on it, far longer than she should have. She basked in that glow. Long past the point where she could feel the eyes of a dozen other patrons boring holes into her. All furious at the wait she was clearly causing. Standing around with impatient glowers while the odd girl sitting at the small window table swayed to the tune of her own name. Tasting it. Feeling it.
It wasn’t until the fourth time the barista called that Kathoey pulled herself up finally and made her way over to get her drink. The girl behind the counter was already busy handing out the others. Leaving the wah to wait a while longer until the vole was able to finally hand off the drink sitting atop the baked goods display counter.
“Iced white mocha, Vanilla sweet cream cold foam and Strawberry Puree?” The vole girl muttered the words with barely contained contempt. Holding out the cup for the over-excited wah.
Kathoey took it. All but hugging the drink as she took the first sip. The whole world going away. The drink wasn’t even that good. It wasn’t bad. But it was really just sugar and the kind of flavors you would probably get for some limited edition Hudsonville ice cream. No, her elation came from deeper down. The girl basking in the moment of something she could only clumsily describe as absolute kawaii.
The moment lost a touch of its edge when her eyes opened. The red panda looking at the barista girl who was giving her a sharp glare. The punk vole was still handing out drinks at a relatively rapid pace to all of the people who actually had somewhere to be or something to do. Most of whom also gave the red panda standing almost in the way a sharp disapproving look. Though really, it wasn’t like Kathoey gave a fuck.
“Hey, Chad? I’m taking my lunch.” The vole called once everyone had cleared the line. The girl grabbing a small plastic bento from the fridge meant for premade customer food and walking along towards the back where Kathoey had been seated before. She gestured for the wah to follow. Not looking back to see if she did.
Kathoey didn’t know why she did, either. Finding herself following along even before she fully realized what she was doing. She was high on a wave of contentment and not really eager to start thinking critically about anything. At least not if she didn’t have to.
The vole waited for her to sit. Apron draped over the back of the chair. The plastic bento opening to an array of very-not-Japanese food. A slice of four-corner pizza cut into four parts, a dollop of cherry cobbler and in one of the compartments nothing but cheap store brand trail mix up to the brim.
The woman started in on her food, barely keeping her eye on Kathoey until she’d downed the pizza. She had an odd look to her. A look in her eye which unsettled Kathoey ever so slightly. The stranger hanging on the red panda with an unnerving layer of what could only be called contempt.
“So, Kathoey… Really?” The vole sighed. Finally breaking the ice
“I, uh, yeah. Someone kinda, I mean it’s more like a nickname. Buuut…” the wah then paused a bit. Her brow quirking. The utter oddness, and deja vous, of the situation both hit her like those trucks in the old myth busters clips. “Wait, are you saying you know me or something? Because I’m pretty sure you don’t go to my school.”
“Yeah, you probably don’t know me.” Amethyst finally sighed “But I know about you. Mama talks with her friend about you a lot. You and the other one with the actual ok sounding name.”
“Justine” the red panda chirped “And Mistress helped pick both those names. So they should be just fine.”
“Mistress… Right. Kid, aren’t you still in high school?” the Vole growled, looking Kathoey up and down.
“Yeah? So what? I’m nineteen. I’ve been an adult since junior year. The fuck do I care if the name ends up a bit offensive? You think I care what anyone thinks?” Even as the words left Kathoey’s lips she felt herself becoming all too aware of the eyes on her. Shrinking back into her seat a bit further and slumping her shoulders as she took another sip of her drink.
“Nineteen?” Amethyst blinked at the idea. Her ears folded back into her scraggly mop of dyed headfur. “Then why the fuck are you still in high school if you’re nineteen? And you know it’s fucked up to date a teacher even if you’re an adult, right? Like illegal fucked up?” The vole finally sighed and shook her head “Look I have a dozen things to say and my lunch is only a half hour. I don’t have enough time to cover everything. But when some newbie kinkster shows up in my workplace blurting out something arguably slur-adjacent and getting it put on his coffee mug while in full girl mode I kinda feel obligated to speak up.”
“I wasn’t the one who picked it.” Kathoey sighed “Besides, your Mistress is older than mine, isn’t she?” The wah would quickly find a paw slapped over her muzzle. Amethyst sighing again and staring daggers though the red panda.
“No talk. Just… you. Don’t talk at all, ok? Not here. Not where I work, darn it.” She slumped again and dug her nails into her scalp. “Look, I’m not going to waste my whole break talking to you. Ok?” Amethyst resisted the urge to add ‘kid’. Considering they were way too close in age for that. Even if everything about this wah screamed childishness. “But considering you’re still in high school at this point, maybe it’s not the absolute best idea to be parading around everywhere letting your freak flag fly? This ain’t Fulsom. Trust me. I’ve been. This is the west Michigan bible belt. Smack dab between Notre Dame in the south and DeVos country up north. You can’t take two steps around here without a bible-thumper being fake nice to you or some ‘peanut’ telling you to put down the meat because Noah fucked up somewhere or something.”
Kathoey stopped sipping her drink and narrowed her eyes a bit. Pulling back slowly. “Hey now. I’m Adventist.” The wah muttered under her breath.
Amethyst winced, but didn’t do much more than that. Her shoulders slumping as she leaned in and looked him dead in the eye “Then you know what the fuck I’m talking about. What do you think is going to happen when someone you know pops around here and catches you? I can’t imagine your parents would be cool seeing you like this, would they?”
The wah girl smirked slyly to the vole sitting across from her and leaned in. The straw of the now half empty drink pointing out towards her. “It just so happens I ‘did’ see someone from high school. In fact I talked with him. In faaaact” She let the tip of her straw back into her lips. Sipping in deep and hard. Defiantly drawing out the victory that existed only in her own mind. “He asked me out!” The words finally hit in a drawn out sing-song which probably sounded far better in Kathoey’s head. Not that it mattered. She still won. The shock she drew from the other girl more than enough to drive that home.
“Ask you… Are you effing crazy?” Amethyst Gasped “What do you want kids in your school to find out and beat the shit out of you?”
They already try to. And he’s one of em. Some big tough basketball bully. Literally.” The wah giggle-snorted, then choked on the laugh as she realized how much it sounded like her sister.
Amethyst let her head sink into her hands and stifled a groan. “Krishna on a cracker.” She muttered to herself. Barely able to let her eyes dart out and catch the figure sitting on the other end of those slitted fingers. “Do I even need to tell you how god damn stupid that is? What, are you trying to become a statistic or something?”
“I didn’t say yes.” Kathoey scoffed. Her shoulders rolling a bit. “Didn’t say no, either. But I didn’t say yes. I just kinda… left it hanging there. Took his number. It shouldn’t be my place to decide what dates I go on anyways, now should it? That’s up to Mistress.” She said it loud enough that anyone too close might hear it. Loud enough to send razors of frustration down Amethyst’s spine. Loud enough that the Vole crammed the last of her food in her mouth and stood, eyes narrowing hard as she quasi-towered over the slightly shorter girl.
“Yeah, well, Maybe ‘I’ need to have a talk with Momma about this. Because god damn, kid, you have issues.”
This time she didn’t hide the contempt in her voice or the infantilizing tone. Instead just walking back to the back room with the now empty bento. Kathoey watched the girl go and then hopped up, making her own way out of the store without another word spoken. She’d have to tell Mistress how she won that one. In fact she’d have a lot of updates after this. God, but this was a good day.
