Uber Carry Part 1 – The Customer is King
With a skilled sidestep Perry rounded the last corner, before his destination, at full speed. Now the tabby cat only had to spurt down the street and... "There we are!" he announced, panting slightly, as he finally came to a stop in front of an office building. "Pine Grove Avenue 84. That'll be twenty-three Dollars, please," he added as he lowered himself a bit further to the ground to let his passenger dismount.
The rat on his back jumped off and checked his watch. "Even five minutes early. Thanks!" The guy got his wallet out but hesitated. "You accept cash, right?"
"We sure do, sir," Perry confirmed with a friendly smile as he stood up to stretch out his back. The rat paid for his transport and even gave a nice tip. "Thank you! And if you have the time, don't forget to rate your ride on our app to help us optimize our services," he said as he waved the guy off. All dutifully according to work rules.
Since he usually didn't get much of a break between customers, Perry took the chance to have a sip from his water bottle. It was quite warm today. Not outright hot, but definitely warm enough for a lot of people to spent a few bucks for a ride, rather than to arrive at work with sweat stains. At least he'd make some decent money today!
Speaking of which, Perry's phone buzzed again already. He checked the app and was happy to find a new review from his most recent customer. 'Fast ride and friendly service!' the rat wrote and gave him a five out of five star rating. If only all customers would be this pleasant to deal with! Perry preferred to carry rodents. They were usually friendly when a cat worked for them and often gave good tips. Unfortunately his part of town was predominantly populated by dogs, who were often more difficult to work under.
Again his app buzzed, this time with a new customer order. "Hm... dachshund...two blocks from here..." Perry murmured as he checked the details. Then he got back down on all fours and took off, fast as lightning. With feline agility he dashed through the bustling city, dodged pedestrians, mailboxes and lampposts and eventually arrived at what appeared to be a finance company.
Perry stood, to reveal the harness on his topless body. On his back, the harness was equipped with a little saddle-like seat and a handlebar for his passengers to take place. On his chest, the words 'Uber Carry' identified him as staff member to waiting customers. It didn't take long until he was called. "Hey, carry boy, over here!"
The brown tabby cat turned and was surprised to find a Rottweiler beckoning him impatiently. He approached the businessman, checking his app again. "Hello, sir. I'm sure your Uber Carrier will be here any second."
The dog tilted his head puzzled and mildly annoyed at what he thought was a lame joke. "What do you mean? You're right here. Let's go!"
With a friendly smile, Perry tried to explain, "There seems to be a misunderstanding. I'm here to pick up a Dachshund. It's--"
"Well, do you see any dachshunds here?" the man interrupted him, gesturing around.
And sure enough, there were none. Though, what was even more confusing was that his app in fact only showed one customer in this area. "Erm, well..." Perry thought, scratching his head. "Did you maybe make a mistake while placing your pick up call, sir? Like, did you perhaps fill in the wrong species?"
"Ugh!" the tall dog moaned annoyed. "Listen, carry boy, I ain't got time to enter every little detail this clumsy app wants to know about my morning shit. I got places to be!"
The tabby cat frowned internally, but remained professional and smiled. "Alright, please apologize the inconvenience, sir. I'll call one of our tigers real quick to--"
"Didn't you listen?!" the Rottweiler barked, interrupting Perry once more. "I'm in a hurry! I don't have all day to wait until your friends sort out whatever you messed up. What the heck is even the damn problem?! You're here! Get on the ground and let's get a move on!"
Perry was puzzled. Didn't this guy realize his obvious mistake? "I'm very sorry, sir, but all Uber Carriers have a weight limit for passengers," he explained calm and politely. "My weight limit is 65 pounds. I carry smaller species. Mice, rats, fennecs... You see? I think you might have entered a wrong passenger weight in the app."
The bulky dog rolled his eyes, obviously not caring about Perry's excuses. "So my 200 pounds surpass your weight limit a little, who cares?! When I was half your age, I had to deliver ten stone bags full of coal all above town and no one gave a shit about MY weight limit! I didn't bitch around and look, where I am now!" He pointed his thumb behind himself at the company. "This is the real world here and sometimes you gotta do things you can't be bothered with. So stop whining now and start working for your money!"
The little tabby cat really had to hold back a pissed hiss. I'm so sorry for having better workplace safety standards than you did, but sure, let me ruin my back for toxic boomers like you for less than the minimum wage! Of course he couldn't say this, even if he really wanted to. But pissing off customers was the fastest way to get fired! "I'm very sorry, sir, but we have to abide by these rules for our own safet--"
"Do I need to file a complaint to your manager to get you to do your work?" the annoyed Rottweiler growled, obviously not afraid to start drama to get what he wanted.
Unfortunately pissing off superiors by making them deal with pesky customers was the second fastest way to get fired, or at least penalized with a pay cut. Also far up on the list was receiving too many bad reviews, which would be the least thing to happen if he kept this guy waiting any longer. And Perry needed both, this job and every Dollar that came from it! "No, sir. I'm sure this won't be necessary..." With a resigned sigh he lowered himself to all fours in front of the dog. "Please hop on and hold on to the handlebar," he added, citing his work instructions.
"Finally!" the large dog muttered and didn't wast any more time to mount his carrier.
"Hmmph..." Perry prepared himself for the heavy passenger, but the Rottweiler's weight surprised him nonetheless. Like a bag full of wet sand, the man's butt came down to sit on Perry's saddle and made the sporty cat's back sag under the load. He took a moment to get accustomed to the unfamiliarly hefty client that exceeded his weight limit threefold. This wasn't fair! Why the hell did he have to deal with such an obstinate grump?! Exploitation like this was actually forbidden by law!
"Hm?" the dog made as he fidgeted around on his carrier's back. "That thing seems a bit loose. Ya don't mind if I fix it real quick, right...?" Boldly he began to fumble with the cat's harness.
Annoyed, Perry rolled his eyes. Of course he also had to lecture him about his own fucking job. "Sir, please don't touch the safety ge-EARGH!" he squealed as the Rottweiler pulled the harness's fastening belt much tighter than it ever needed to be with his canine strength. Perry was caught off guard and the strap that ran over his belly cut deep into his gut as it was pulled tight. "Urgh..." At first he had some trouble breathing, but he quickly got used to the feeling. Though a dull, uncomfortable pain remained in his abdomen. He only hoped the belt wouldn't chafe his skin!
"Yeah, that's better. Wouldn't want to fall off, eh?" the business dog murmured as he shifted around on his carrier one more time to confirm he sat safe now. "We ready to go already, or what?" he added growling impatiently as he lifted his paws off the ground.
"Sure sir, hmph..." he said, trying to muffle a labored groan as he straightened his limbs and back to get into a running position. It felt like he was carrying a block of lead! "Where to?"
"Barklays Bank," the dog said in a slightly more content tone, now that he got his way. "You know it?"
Perry's small ears twitched in shock. "Ah! That's..." That's halfway through downtown! About three, or maybe four miles from here!! The brown cat bit its tongue lest he wouldn't say anything that could get him in trouble. Four miles wouldn't be much of a problem with a regular weighted passenger, he got orders like that several times a week, sometimes even further distances. But with this fat ass dog on his back?! He could already feel the man's heft drive his pads into the pavement just standing here. But he couldn't backtrack now, if he wanted to get his full paycheck. "Yes, sir, I know it," he eventually said. "Please hold on tight and... try to keep your balance." That last part was actually not a line of his official instructions, but considering the circumstances any help from the dog atop to make his tour easier was greatly appreciated!
"Good. Now hurry up, would you? We already lost enough time," the Rottweiler grumbled impatiently as he checked his wristwatch.
Without further words, Perry began to move. Usually he would jackrabbit now to convey his customer as fast as possible to its destination. But with this guy on top, his feline agility was mostly useless now. After a few staggering steps, Perry found a pace that somehow worked for him, but he knew he had to pick up some more speed to drop the dog off anywhere on time! "Hmphh..." With grit teeth and heavy breaths, the cat made his body go faster. Just get this fat ass off your back as fast as possible, he told himself again and again as he gained speed like a puffing steam loco.
"Hmf..." The bulky Rottweiler made after a few minutes. His ride was somewhat bumpy, since his carrier had to cushion his rocking weight with every step, but the business dog didn't seem to mind too much. In fact, his tone seemed a bit more laid-back now. "Ya gotta go a bit faster if ya don't want me to miss my meeting, carry boy!" Laid-back, yeah, but still kinda cocky.
For a few seconds, Perry tried to come up with a polite remark to inform his customer about his increased effort, but the one thought that dominated his mind right now was 'Get this job done! Get this job done! Get this job done already!' Eventually he answered with a short, panting, "Yes, sir..." as he doubled his effort and speed once more. He didn't care whether he sounded like a bootlicker right now. If anything, that actually might help him get a better review from this big wig. He sure enough seemed to enjoy being treated like he owns the place.
A moment of silence passed between the two, before the dog spoke again. "How long have you been doing this carrier job now?" he asked, sounding genuinely interested in the answer.
Perry didn't think too much about it and answered out of reflex, "About a year and a half now, hmph..." Making small talk with customers was kinda part of the job, after all. Even though right now he'd rather stay quiet and concentrate on his task. The additional weight made it harder to navigate the bustling streets. Under no circumstances could he allow this guy to fall off. This nob could sue the living daylights out of the company. And it would be Perry's fault for ignoring the weight limit! He'd so lose his job if anything happens.
"And you like it? Or rather wanna do something else?" the Rottweiler asked next, thankfully leaning a bit into the curve as his carrier took a turn.
The street ahead went a little uphill, so Perry had to push himself off a bit more powerful with his hindlegs. He could feel how the dog's heavy ass scooted down towards his butt and also how his harness tightened around his chest as his passenger pulled on the handlebar. "He-mph... Yeah, I like it," he said as the road ran even again and the Rottweiler's mass rocked forward. Perry could already feel how his pads got rubbed sore on the sidewalk. His knees and elbows ached from the heavy load and he felt the saddle scrape over his scrawny back, even through the padding. Uber Carriers had a weight limit for a reason, god dammit! "L-lots of fresh air, I get to meet all kinds of different people, hfff... and I'm doing something for my health and keep in shape while I'm at it too!" The cat didn't even lie. There definitely were worse jobs than this one, even if some customers liked to lord it over him just because they could sit on his back. But that was kinda part of the job too. In fact, Uber Carry specifically targeted its services towards wealthy customers that liked to see themselves a cut above everyone else. Heck, there even was a TV ad with a posh fancy pants literally riding an Uber Carrier like a cowboy!
"Indeed..." the Rottweiler murmured as he secretly admired Perry's young, athletic body beneath him. How his slinky muscles moved under the smooth, brown fur. So agile and dainty...
The two chatted for a while about mundane things, while Perry kept on running. Though, due to exhaustion he gradually decreased in speed. These four miles definitely were longer than he had anticipated. He briefly considered to suggest a short break to catch his breath. This was actually very uncommon for carriers, mostly because it won't be well-received by the management, but it did occur. Uber Carriers were only people as well, after all. And damn, he really could use a break from that shooting pain in his back! "...and, huff... that's how I got this job... Wh-what a coincidence, right...?"
The man on his back gave him a polite chuckled in response to his anecdote. The grouchy dog didn't exactly thaw up with his carrier, but he at least seemed a bit more content now with Perry's service. A fact the tabby cat wanted to uphold. Though that could prove to be easier said than done, considering the Rottweiler checked his watch again. "Hm... I'm gonna be late at this rate," he murmured, sounding a bit more resigned than annoyed now. Perry took it as a sign of disappointment, wrapped into the appreciation for his effort. "Could you go a bit faster, please?" he asked, making it sound as easy as pressing a button.
The lean cat was screaming internally! "Y-yes, Sir, hugh... of course..." he huffed, breathing heavily under the strain as he forced himself to speed up. Couldn't this guy see that he was at the end of his rope?! "Hgnnf!" Perry suppressed a pained groan when he felt another pinch in his stomach. With the heavy dog rocking back and forth with every step he took, the fastening belt of his harness cut deeper and deeper into his belly. He also constantly felt the buckle pinch and pluck the fur at his side. But he wouldn't give up now. Their destination was just a few more streets away. Less than half a mile!
His heart was pounding hard and Perry's head felt warm and dizzy. Every muscle in his body begged him to stop, to ease the strain, but the young man suppressed his own needs by emptying his head. The only thing left in his mind was the tall, black surface of the Barklays Bank tower with him in front of it, finally getting this chunk off his back. He was on the home stretch already, giving up now was not an option. Not after everything he had to endure to keep his job, paycheck and top rating score!
And finally, after what felt like an eternity, the dark glass facade of the bank tower came into view. Running down the last street, panting like a dog, Perry approached the imposing building with a soft sense of relief. He made it. He finally made it! "Hrmh... mph..." Wheezing exhausted, he ostentatiously carried his heavy passenger up the front stairs to drop him off right at the foot of the tower. He'd end this fucking job with nothing but perfection! "Hff... huff... Barklays Bank, as you wished, sir..." he gasped as he lowered himself as best he could to let his customer dismount. He almost dropped to his elbows!
Though, all of a sudden, the Rottweiler wasn't in such a hurry anymore. He kept sitting on Perry's back and checked his watch again. "Hm, We barely made it in time," he murmured. "I probably will be late by the time I'm up there..." Casually he pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to his business partners about the delay, while still sitting on his Uber Carrier, who was praying to every god there was now, to finally release him of this overwhelming burden. Only once the dog had slid his phone back into his pocked did he finally raise his hefty butt from the poor cat's aching back.
Perry softly sighed with relief when the weight got lifted from his ill-treated body. He took one, two, then three deep breaths before he stood up himself. His spine felt like a rusty bicycle chain forced into motion after years in the rain. Nevertheless Perry approached his demanding customer with a polite smile. "I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, sir. I did my best to arrive on time."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure..." he said lapidary while fishing for his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"
Still weary from the trip, Perry remembered to get out his phone and check the app. "Uh, that'll be thirty-five Dollars, please," he said, utterly deflated about the fact that his ordeal wasn't worth more than that. Once taxes and company shares were deducted, he'd barely be able to buy two meals with this! He could only hope for this rich snob's generosity now, to make tomorrow's muscle hangover worthwhile. Though the Rottweiler only handed him what was owed: Thirty-five Dollars. Not even a small tip! "Er, thanks..." Perry said through grit teeth, though immediately calmed down again. Most important was that he finally had this fat jackass off his back! "And don't forget to rate your ride on our app to help us optimize our services!" he called after the already departing dog.
Totally exhausted, Perry staggered down the massive stairs and eventually sat down at the bottom, sighing out all his frustration. "Ha-argh!" he groaned once he finally unbuckled the fastening belt that constricted his stomach. He rubbed his sore belly and felt the weals beneath his light brown fur. "What the fuck is up with some people?" Drinking greedily from his water bottle, the cat tapped on his phone and switched his status to 'on break' in the app. It actually wasn't his regular time, but fuck it! He needed one right now. "And if something like this ever happens again, I'll just call one of the strong guys right away and keep on rambling until they show up!"
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