But humanity, in reality, is poised midway between gods and beasts... -Plotinus
Dogs in Space: Fourteen Minutes to Takeoff
Matrosen von erde
Huddled in the captain's room, the crew of The Pluto stood shocked at the news. No one was more surprised than the stout corgi, Captain Garbage. Former captain, that is, as his tactical officer, Stella, the tall shetland sheepdog, had just informed the crew that she would be taking over as captain of The Pluto effective immediately.
The room was quiet for a moment. The fear had always been that once Stella had completed her training she would take on her own ship and crew, meaning her friends would only see her in passing onboard the M-Bark. So while this news meant they would still all belong to the same crew, the dynamic would be shifted. Garbage wasn't the most competent leader, to be sure. In fact some might wonder how he became captain to begin with. But despite his obvious quirks, he was made captain and given a ship immediately once he had miraculously won the notoriously unwinnable test scenario dreamed up by Trainer Penelope. Though, perhaps digging far back enough one could discover that with the help of tech officer Chonies, Garbage had perhaps... nudged the results in his favor. Only slightly.
In all honesty after the initial shock, the new leadership made sense to the crew and they welcomed Stella as their captain. Nomi, pilot of The Pluto, made an exaggerated salute and swore her loyalty to her new captain, going on about how she would gladly perish in a fiery explosion if she was ordered to, Stella had to hug the goofy shih tzu before she got into any more graphic details. Ed, a jack russell terrier and The Pluto's ambassador, patted Stella on the back and made some poorly thought out remark about glass ceilings and girl bosses, more to distract his new captain while he reached for her wallet. Stella gripped his wrist and twisted, only a little. ``Just kidding! Come on now, lighten up, Captain.'' Stella smirked at him and rolled her eyes, and then her gaze met Garbage.
The now former captain's job was uncertain, Stella had been the tactical officer but while Garbage owned a blaster (it even had a custom laser sight built into the barrel shroud) he wasn't exactly an expert with it. So maybe not a tactical officer. If anything Garbage was most suited for his namesake, as a chief commanding officer of sanitation. A janitor. But perhaps Loaf, the nervous bulldog, would be transferred to that cushy pencil sharpening job he had been gunning for, leaving Garbage as the Pluto's new surveillance officer. But working as a desk jockey wasn't exactly Garbage's idea of a good time, not to mention the corgi needed regular exercise to treat his minor hip dysplasia.
But it would seem Stella didn't know her former captain's fate either. The Council had asked to see Garbage in person to assign him his new job. That was bad. The Council wouldn't want to see him directly unless they had some kind of award or punishment to bestow upon him. And right now he didn't feel like he was deserving of an award. That was it then. He was going to be the M-Barks new janitor, cleaning toilets and scrubbing decks. Happy would have a field day with this news, the poodle was both a captain of his own ship, The Venus, and a member of The Council. He'd probably deliver the news himself, gleefully pushing the mop and bucket into Garbage's paws.
Garbage sighed and took off the sweater Chelsea had made him. He was feeling warm with nervousness, and he needed to put on his best suit anyway to meet The Council. He hugged his crew and made his way to The Council's chambers. Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside and prepared for the worst.
The Council sat in silence, a nervous energy filled the room. The corgi looked around for a moment, waiting for his new job reassignment but it seemed all the members of The Council had been too busy to notice his arrival. Duchess, a saint bernard, was squeezing a small yellow stress-ball, and even Happy was keeping his mouth quiet, not even bothering to make a rude remark as Garbage entered. He cleared his throat and waved weakly to The Council.
In unison they all turned their attention to the corgi and did their best to put on the air of strong leadership.
``Captain Garbage.'' Duchess said.
``Former Captain.'' Happy corrected.
Duchess shot a sideways glance to the poodle and looked back to Garbage, ``Former Captain of The Pluto,'' she said, ``but for this mission you will be the leading member. The only member, in fact. For this mission will require the upmost secrecy to avoid causing a panic, and you already know enough about the situation. It can only be you.''
Garbage dropped to his knees and held his hands in front of himself, pleading desperately and even putting on the puppy dog eyes and whimpering for good measure, ``I know! I know, you're transferring me to Captain of Cleaning Toilets, I deserve this dishonor, you're right I know all about why the toilets in Sector G were clogged! But I beg of you please show me mercy and allow me to use the brown napkins to clean up the mess, please don't make me use the white napkins, they fall apart as soon as they get wet and then it sticks to your paw and you end up making an even bigger mess and no matter how much you wash your hands it - ''
``Garbage!'' Duchess stopped the whining corgi from making a fool of himself any further. ``This isn't about toilets or making you the new sanitation officer.''
``Hold on,'' Pistachio Soup, a sharpei and head of The Council said, ``you were the one who clogged the toilets in Sector-G? All of them?''
Garbage blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, smiling meekly. Duchess pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. ``This is important, Garbage. The M-Bark is experiencing a crisis.'' The members of The Council all looked to each other, that sense of grim dread filling the room again. ``Rumors are starting to spread,'' Duchess continued, ``and the truth of the matter is that humanity hadn't expected our mission to take this long. It's been three years, Garbage. Three human years. No one thought we'd be out her this long. Not us. And not our humans. We haven't been given the supplies to last so long. Soon we'll be out of food, out of fuel, and with no place for any of us to live. We're running out of time.''
Garbage stood before The Council, trying to process what he had just heard. ``No,'' he said, ``no that can't be true. Maybe we haven't found a suitable place yet but even if we needed the resources we could find them. Or trade with other species for them.''
Duchess set her stress toy down and sighed, ``We've thought of that, Garbage. At best we could extend the life of this mission for a few more months, but we're running out of essentials, and we haven't much in the way of trade. Not enough to sustain the maintenance of M-Bark and all its passengers.''
Months. Garbage couldn't believe his ears. This mission, and indeed their lives, were being measured in months. ``It'll be enough. All we need is just a little more time, it can't take much longer to find a suitable planet. Out of all the worlds out there, we could double out efforts and - ''
``And waste more resources on a fools errand?'' Happy interjected, ``We have barely enough fuel to make it back to Earth as it is.''
``And besides,'' Duchess said. ``It seems we were all mistaken about how easy it would be to find a new world. The planets out there are either uninhabitable or already inhabited. The fact of the matter is that there?s no such thing as the perfect planet for mankind besides the one they grew up on, because the universe is mostly empty. The only typical place within this vast, cold, universal vacuum, is an everlasting night of intergalactic space. If our ship were randomly inserted into the cosmos, the chance that we would find ourselves on or even near a planet - much less one suitable for life - would be less than one in a billion trillion trillion. In everyday life we would call such odds compelling. The fact of the matter is that worlds... worlds are precious.''
The room sat silent again. Garbage could feel a sickening knot in his stomach, trying to work its way up his throat. He choked it back. ``But what about Kira?'' Kira had been a husky, a survivor of a previously failed mission, that Garbage had saved while he was still Captain of the Pluto. During their adventures, Kira had been sent back to Earth to try and find out why our transmission weren't getting through. But as The Council explained, Kira's main mission was to try and get more supplies for the M-Bark. No one has heard back from her since then. And now Garbage was being tasked with a similar mission.
``The M-Bark is going to make her way back to Earth. We'll need all the fuel we have just to get back, but it's our only option at this point.'' Duchess went back to squeezing her stress-ball and Garbage could have sworn the thing was about to pop at the seams. ``You will go ahead of the M-Bark to try and establish communications with Earth and contact Kira to figure out what's going on before we arrive. If all else fails Earth might still have some supplies we can scavenge in case the humans have already...'' She wouldn't allow her self to complete the thought. No one on board the M-Bark could fathom that possibility, it would mean not just a failure of our mission, but an end to our purpose as a species.
``Garbage,'' Happy had dropped his usual haughty attitude and for once seemed to speak to Garbage with some modicum of respect, ``this mission is our last effort. And it isn't much. Whatever happens, we're counting on you.''
Erämaan viimeinen
The M-Bark was full of a number of luxuries and comforts for its passengers. The humans had done their best to give their pets a good life even onboard this hulking spacecarrier. For all their faults, it would seem mankind cared for their pets a great deal, sometimes even more than they cared for their fellow humans. But one could scarcely complain about a lack of good food or activities onboard the ship. Everything from acupuncture to underground bars where a dog could be a dog. But Garbage's favorite place on the ship had to be the diner. The menu had everything you could want. Hot or cold, sweet or salty, it even had a vegetarian option.
But Garbage wasn't feeling too hungry now though. It wasn't exactly the nerves that were getting to him, if anything he ate more when he was nervous, but he couldn't help but remember what The Council had told him. Are we really running out of time? Are our days left on this ship really measured in months? It would seem to the corgi that if the M-Bark was really running low on resources then people should start rationing now, but The Council wasn't about to alarm anyone. They were going to keep all the dogs aboard this ship in the dark about this until the secret could no longer be kept. Grimly, Garbage couldn't help but wonder what would give first. Would they be floating without fuel in the void of space with no hope of finding a place to land? Would the power give out? Would the food stores ran dry?
Stella put a paw on his shoulder, he hadn't told them of his mission, he couldn't. But they all knew The Council must have given him some kind of bad news. He merely said he'd explain it all later. But he wasn't sure how much later he had.
``The Council has grounded all flights for maintenance.'' It was Chonies, a chihuahua med-tech officer of The Pluto. ``Which is weird, right? Normally maintenance is done one ship at a time so there's always someone out trying to find a good planet.''
``Sure but after the stunt Kira pulled, and with a brand new captain,'' Nomi nudged Stella playfully, ``they're probably just taking all the precautions they can.''
Garbage looked around at his former crew members as they ate. His mind was still stuck on the nagging thought of shortages and rationing. Ed had apparently ordered three steaks. Three steaks for one meal, one wonders how he could afford it, and where he put it all for that matter, but Garbage couldn't help but think of what a waste it was. ``Have you considered cutting back on the red meat there, Ed?''
The jack russel terrier smirked as he cut off another piece of steak, ``Oh, no, please don't tell me you're going vegetarian on me, Captain?'' He didn't correct himself, it might take a while for the crew to get used to the idea that Garbage was no longer their captain.
Garbage cursed himself for saying anything, he couldn't just go and explain that resources might need to be saved. As much as he disagreed, he had promised The Council he would keep their secret. So he lied, ``Well, maybe actually,'' he said, ``it's healthier for you, and besides, isn't it weird for us to be eating animals?''
``Animals eat other animals, it's the circle of life, Garbage.''
``But we're not animals. Maybe back when we were that was true but the humans gave us the ability to eat what they can eat. We could all go vegetarian right now if we really wanted.''
``Humans eat animals too. And besides, what makes you think we're not animals? We have fur and paws and masters. And besides, I just like steak.''
Garbage frowned, he didn't consider himself an animal by any stretch. But how could a pet be anything else? Only animals have masters, and if not an animal then what? He wasn't a human, but there were plenty of weird alien creatures out there. They could talk and think and feel just like them. So what's the word for that? Surely it was in his vocabulary somewhere.
All this pondering quickly did what Garbage had wanted it to do, it had taken his mind off his mission. But Ed seemed to have taken some measure of offense to the corgi's philosophizing. Ed was the ambassador of The Pluto, his job was to make contact with alien species and establish diplomacy. And even though he rarely showed it, he was actually well equipped for this job and had a knack for arguing. His ability to use misdirection and common tactics you'd see on any crummy lawyer drama was usually all he needed to sneak off with your wallet or other valuable while you were still stuck trying to counter his inane arguments. He cut off another piece of steak and said, "Oh, don?t get me wrong, Garbage, my conscious would love for veganism to win over the world. But I gotta tell ya," He shoveled his fork into his maw and continued speaking with his mouth full, "my subconscious has been nagging me all day for a fat, juicy steak.'' He swallowed and smiled to Garbage, ``So who?s to say what I really want?"
``A saint like you,'' Chonies joked, ``peace on Earth and goodwill to men, surely.''
``Happiness for everyone, let none be forgotten!'' Ed replied sarcastically through another mouthful. ``Unless they're dinner, of course.''
Garbage laughed weakly and allowed his friends to enjoy their meals while he checked the time. He only had fourteen minutes. He excused himself from the table and made his way to the docking bay. He wished he could at least tell his crew - his friends, goodbye. But he couldn't call any attention to his mission. In the hanger the only ship still docked was The Pluto. Precious fuel had been spent on getting it ready, and he was given enough supplies to make it through the trip including one mid-range torpedo in case things got desperate and one short-range escape pod in case things got really desperate. The craft wasn't meant for long-range voyages but with the supplies he had been given he would be able to use the surrounding planets in this quadrant of space to give him a boost. It sounded a lot more technical than it really was, but essentially he would be using gravity as a slingshot to get him to Earth ahead of the M-Bark. There he'd need to make contact with Kira and figure out what was going on with the planet so they could have supplies and fuel ready for the spacecarrier's return. They'd be cutting it close no matter what.
Entering The Pluto, the corgi pulled out his holo-tablet. All the star maps were loaded up and his virtual navigator checked and re-checked his route. Everything seemed to be in order. He looked around to see that his crew's stuff hadn't been taken off the ship. And why would it have? Some of it could be useful in a pinch but even his crew's personal affects were all still there. If something happened to him well... Well Ed would be pretty mad about losing his stolen alien tech that's for sure. And Chonies still had electronic parts scattered around his room in organized chaos. Nomi had her favorite weapons as close to her bed as Stella would let her. And Stella's room was clean and tidy, what one might expect of captain material. Even Kira, who had only been on The Pluto for a short while, still had some of her belongings in her old room like the alien skin rug and a beautiful looking plant Garbage assumed was poisonous.
Making his way to the cockpit, Garbage started his ship and left the M-Bark on his mission. It felt odd, having been relieved of his captain status only to be the sole dog and defacto captain again. He wondered if making Stella captain was just a ploy by The Council to explain Garbage's absence as a simple reassignment to some boiler room of the M-Bark. Stella didn't deserve to get jerked around like that. If he made it back Garbage would gladly give her the captain's chair. The corgi plugged in his holo-tablet and let the autopilot take over as he drifted into space, his ship setting itself to fuel conservation mode as it whipped around the gravitational fields of nearby planets with relative speed. At this rate it would take The Pluto around a month to get back to Earth, the M-Bark would follow behind a few days later, and by then would be in desperate need of all the supplies Earth could spare.
All this time and effort seemed wasted, as now they were heading back to their mother planet just so they could start back at square one. And how much longer would it take then? Even if the M-Bark got resupplied and stocked up for another ten years would that even be enough to search through the last of the empty wilderness of space? Garbage pushed those thoughts away. He'd have plenty of time to think about his people's predicament on the way back to Earth. His stomach growled, and he realized he hadn't eaten all day, or at least since second breakfast. He let the autopilot fly its course, winding to and fro through the stars, the glow of the engines making the small craft look like a firefly dancing in the night.
Los Barbudos
Is it a windshield? A windshield would be a shield for wind, but in space there was no wind, only space. So spaceshield then. Okay, but then how do you explain windows? Spaceows? No, that's just silly. But then it can't be a spaceshield. You can't just have one be one way and another be... Her thoughts trailed off again. Ugh, focus, we need to get out of here. But there's no escaping here, they told you they'd let you out when the rest of your kind arrived. But they won't even let me contact them, for all I know they've found a planet and aren't coming back. You said yourself that wasn't likely, besides, they know their supplies won't last, the M-Bark has nowhere else to go but here. So you want me to just sit here and wait?! Yes. I'm going stir crazy cooped up in this cell. I can't disagree with that.
Kira argued with herself for a while longer. She figured she would be used to the loneliness by now. But there's a difference between being alone in a sprawling and even dangerous wilderness for you to explore and survive in and this. This was confinement. There was no thrill of the hunt to occupy one's time, there were regular meals shoved through a grimy slot. The was no fresh air and long walks through the forest, there was only that incessant dripping of a leaking pipe and the padding back and forth in a cramped room. Not a room, a cage. She was a wild beast in a cage. No, little Timmy, you can't pet the smelly mutt, it probably has fleas and rabies. Why yes, go ahead and toss peanuts at it, it won't mind.
The husky couldn't remember how long she had been in here, she tried to remember, only to realize she was pacing the room. No, but I just laying down for bed. What time is it? It's midday. Relatively speaking. There's no day or night in space. There's no clocks either but they tell you when it's time to sleep and when it's time to eat. She sat back with her gruel and tried to remember what it was she was trying to remember. Right, the Shrubdub, those living trees. The guards were talking amongst themselves - ``amongst themselves''? No, ``among themselves'' is the correct way to say it. Right? Maybe either one is - she forced herself to focus. A ship had been spotted a few days away from the Shrubdub's space station orbiting Earth's moon. A ship!? Could it be the M-Bark? No, they had called it a small craft. Like the ones onboard the M-Bark? They'd have trouble making it this far back home unless the M-Bark was nearby. So yes, the M-Bark. I mean, no, they didn't see the M-Bark but it must be nearby. Well, no, that's only if she was right about it being... She trailed off, how had her food already gotten cold? What time was it? What day?
Kira washed her paws in the grubby sink and did her best to rinse out her fur. If someone from the M-Bark was coming she wanted to tidy up. As she did her best to clean herself she heard a banging on her cell. It was one of those trees, the Shrubdub. ``Follow me, no funny moves and we won't have to use the cuffs.'' She must be right, someone from the M-Bark was here and she could finally explain everything to them... And then the thought of having to explain everything made a rock drop into the pit of her stomach. She hadn't the energy to fight back right now, she obediently followed the Shrubdub to a large room decorated with various flora and sculpted hedges depicting the history of this alien race. Kira was sure she could identify most of these plants, which were poisonous, which were edible, did you know that dandelion root can actually make a quite delicious coffee substitute with the right - This line of thought was broken as Kira saw a stout corgi in the middle of the room. He ran up to her and hugged her tight. For a moment she wasn't sure who he was. Not that she could have forgotten Captain Garbage, the dog that had saved her when she was stranded on a deadly planet a while back. But he looked unkempt. Not dirty, but looking like he hadn't bothered to trim his fur, the extra fluff seeming to puff out around his chubby neck and cheeks, making it look like he had grown a small beard. She laughed. And for a moment she cried. She was glad to see him, to see anyone really. She hadn't been in this prison nearly as long as she had been left stranded on that alien planet, but she had missed being around people now more than ever.
``Kira, I'm glad you're okay,'' Garbage said.
``Yeah, well you look like hell. Could have at least shaved before you got here.'' The husky laughed through the tears.
``Hey, you're not looking like you just got out of a day-spa yourself.''
The two hugged a bit longer before one of the Shrubdub cleared his throat. The two dogs were led before a large table near the back of the room, this was some kind of courtroom, though Garbage didn't see any bench for a jury of his peers to sit in. Sitting behind the judges table was an old, withered shrub, the same one they had seen when they had tried to steal a seed that would help restore Earth. The Shrubdub had denied them a seed that would have saved humanity... and in trying to steal one for themselves, the dogs had instead destroyed an entire supply of them. Garbage could understand why they hated humans and dogs for what they did. But it didn't quite explain what they were doing here.
``Do you have any idea how much damage you caused?'' The old alien's branches creaked as she leaned forward to address the dogs. ``Not for us. But for those planets whose fates you sealed? Do you have any idea how many planets come to us seeking our aid? Do you have any idea how many species you condemned when we had to turn them away now that our seeds have been destroyed? Have you any idea how long it will be before our seed stores are replenished? Was it not enough for the humans to destroy their own world, they had to send their dogs to ruin others as well?''
Garbage took a step forward, ``Ma'am, please, if you'd just let me explain-''
``Silence!'' The old tree's voice seemed to echo through every plant in the room and both Kira and Garbage had to cover their ears. The woman gave them a moment to recover from the ringing in their ears before continuing in her normal, relatively calm voice. ``And do you know that even after all that, we would never just let a species die. Even the humans. You may go back to your ship, for we have already given all the help we could spare to the humans.''
Garbage's eyes widened in joy. Earth was saved, the Shrubdub had given them the aid they needed and humanity would be saved! He began to thank the tree before she held up a branch to silence him.
``Let me elucidate, young one. We gave humanity one final chance to prove their worth as a species.'' She flicked a switch on her table and the image of flat, white obelisk floated above her. ``This is the Miracle Machine. An ancient relic that will grant the user their deepest wish. Not what they ask for, but what they truly want deep down in their heart of hearts. This device has been in our care for eons, waiting for a crisis like this.''
Garbage stood there, confused, humanity's deepest desire was to have a place to call home. So this was good news, right? Humankind had put away their difference for the survival of their species, and the machine revealed that deep down they were as good as Garbage knew they were.
Kira didn't share the same optimism. ``So that's it? You gave them a machine that would give them their deepest desires... And what did they receive?''
The old tree's eyes squinted as she rose up in her seat, her branches bristling as if there was a strong wind in the room, ``It would seem your world leaders hoarded the device. And before they had a chance to even use it, they fought over it. They hadn't even taken the test before showing their failure.''
The room was silent for a moment, Garbage shook his head and laughed, ``No,'' he said, ``no, you can't just condemn the entire human race for the actions of a few. How is that fair? They're not all like that, I promise you, if we can just give this machine to someone like Chelsea she'll prove to you that-''
The look on the old tree's face told Garbage more than words ever could. Words can be refuted, written off as lies or the talk of madmen. But that look of... remorse on the tree's face was unmistakable. There was no glee in the news the old woman had. There wasn't the scarcest trace of anger. She did not consider this justice, even after all humanity had done.
``Once we realized the humans were beyond saving we decided their planet would be better suited a different species. In order to clean the slate, we knocked an asteroid off course from your system's Kuiper Belt to destroy what was left of the planet.''
Garbage fell to his knees, the room seemed to spin for a moment and Kira knelt down to keep him from falling over. He felt like he would be sick. ``Murderers...'' He muttered, ``You're all murderers, do you know that?''
``No, dog, it's not that simple.''
``Not that simple?! You killed an entire race and now you want to sit on your pulpit feeling sorry about it? Judge, jury, and executioner, is that it?'' The corgi was held back by two guards. He ignored the pain of their branches digging into his skin, barking curses and condemnations as tears and snot poured down his face. The ancient tree allowed him to shout himself raw. Shout until he couldn't shout anymore. And then Garbage spat at it her.
``Dog... Garbage,'' the tree continued, ``humanity destroyed themselves fighting over the right to use the Miracle Machine. They murdered themselves in an attempt to gain its power for themselves. Our asteroid was indeed intended to finish them off, but they destroyed themselves before it could arrive and there's not much we can do to push it off course now, not that there's anything left to save. We'll let the asteroid take its course. Once the planet has cooled from the destruction we will retrieve our artifact and restore this planet. But it will take decades at least.''
Kira rested a paw on Garbage's shoulder, ``And what about us?'' She said. Garbage looked up to the husky. She was right. If humanity was truly gone the only thing that mattered right now was dogs. ``I know we've caused trouble. For you and for the rest of the galaxy. As ambassadors of Earth we've been pretty true to the species, causing harm and destruction wherever we went. I know we don't deserve it, but after all we've been through, is there nothing you can do for us?''
The old tree sighed, her withered branches rustling gently, ``You dogs are merely pets. Genetically engineered by mankind. You share all their faults. If anything you are beneath them. I don't see how-''
``Let us take the test,'' Kira pleaded, ``The Miracle Machine, let it judge us for itself.'' She took a step, ``Please just give us a chance.''
The ancient tree sat back and slowly nodded, ``We Shrubdub have a saying.'' She shivered her leaves, imitating the sound of wind rustling through the branches. ``Roughly translated that would be to say that weakness is a great thing, and strength is nothing. For when a tree is growing, it?s tender and pliant. But when it?s dry and hard, it dies. Hardness and strength are death?s companions. While pliancy and weakness are expressions of the freshness of being.'' She sighed and looked to the corgi, ``Garbage, we will give you the same chance we gave your humans. We will allow you to go down to the planet and find the Miracle Machine. Let it judge you, and if you are deemed worthy we will help your kind find a new planet to call their own.''
The corgi couldn't believe his ears. He had failed humanity, but now the fate of his entire species was resting on his shoulders. He steeled himself for what needed to be done, he couldn't afford to let his people down. Not again. Kira and Garbage were escorted to The Pluto and given the location of the Miracle Machine. It would be a short trip from the Shrubdub's space station orbiting the Earth's moon (a safe distance away for when the asteroid hit) to the planet's surface, just enough time for the M-Bark to catch up with them. Just enough time for the asteroid to be dangerously close to destroying what was left of the Earth. By then everyone would be watching with bated breath as Garbage was left with the fate of all his species in his paws and he would need to hurry lest he be killed by that flying rock. He and Kira let the ship do the flying, for now they needed rest.
Tankens mirakel
The warmth of another being against him was like a salve. He hadn't realized how much he was in need of being touched, just to feel someone else's fur against his. And Kira, brave as she was, had been stuck in prison for longer than he had been traveling alone to Earth. They embraced as they waited for the ship to find a landing spot, the chubby corgi clinging to the strong husky, her love melting away all his anxieties until nothing in the whole universe remained but him and her, and for a while it seemed like Garbage could stay like this forever, nestled in Kira's fur, letting her warmth and strength carry him through all the worries of this rotten universe. Fine, let it all go to hell, so long as I'm with her I'll be happy, let the days of my life vanish like smoke in her embrace, let all my impurities be as fuel for that fire until nothing remains but love alone, let whatever will be, be! Que sera, sera! ...Why did he feel like listening to Doris Day all of a sudden? Kira kissed him again, and he held her tighter.
Their embrace was interrupted by an incessant beeping coming from the cockpit, it was the hail of a ship, the M-Bark, they had arrived right on schedule. Garbage quickly dressed himself as he left the captains room - technically it was Stella's room now but all his stuff was still in there - and made his way to the cockpit to answer the signal. The holo-screen flickered to life, it was Duchess. As Garbage explained all that had transpired Kira followed behind. Garbage told her what the Shrubdub had done, and the ultimatum they had left them with.
``The crew of the M-Bark haven't been taking the news of our shortages well, and this...'' Duchess sighed, ``This is going to be a lot to take in.''
``I haven't fully processed it all myself, Ma'am,'' Garbage said, ``but right now we have one chance.''
The saint bernard nodded solemnly for a moment, Garbage could see that Duchess' stress toy had indeed given up the ghost, and laid popped on her desk. ``That's it then. We're all counting on you, Garbage.'' He couldn't be sure if he had detected a hint of doubt in her voice.
It was true though. It really was all up to him. Those shrubs were holding the fate of his species hostage. And only Garbage could save it. Was it the Sword of Damocles they were holding over his head or the Lance of Longinus they planned on thrusting through him? No, he didn't feel like a leader or a savior. He was just... garbage. A dog. A pet for a superior species. And now that species was gone. So what purpose did that leave for him? For any of them?
Standing in the loading bay, Garbage dressed in his environment suit and checked to make sure his Geiger counter and oxygen supplies were in working order. Kira held him one more time, the husky looked in the corgi's eyes, fearing this might be the last time they'd see each other. ``You wanna know what really gets me?'' She said. ``When humanity sent a man into outer space for the first time he wasn?t a monarch. Or a banker. Or some oil baron. You know who he was?'' Garbage shook his head as he held Kira, though he vaguely recalled something about the first human into space going up a few years after the first dog. Something about that seemed familiar. Sending a dog into space ahead of humanity, to discover what was up there. ``He was the working-class son of a bricklayer and a milkmaid for dogs' sake. Humanity?s first cosmic representative was a worker, and he was a socialist.'' Kira wiped away the tears. They had both already lost so much, Garbage's Chelsea and her Olga, and now the last thing in this ruined world that she still cared about was risking his life to save their people. ``We failed to find them a home, humanity has already killed themselves, and they will never get to reach the full potential of their species, but do you know what I?m going to tell my children? That at least for one hour and forty-eight minutes, they were humans... and they fucking won.'' Garbage allowed himself one more moment, one more precious grain of sand in the hour glass of fate to kiss Kira once more. The thought crossed his mind again of just saying dog damn it all, of abandoning everything. Of taking The Pluto and eloping with Kira to some distant world. It wouldn't be enough for their species but they could get by just about anywhere, just the two of them, shipwrecked on some island paradise or living rough in the streets of some polluted alien mega-city. It wouldn't matter so long as they were together. His heart ached, but he knew he couldn't let his friends, his species, down. He turned on his plasma-field helmet and stepped off the Pluto into the cold abyss.
The entire planet was covered in a thick ice storm that was making communication with the M-Bark difficult, but Kira would stay on the ship to keep in contact and relay any information to Garbage. His environment suit would help him weather the freezing storm, as well as the radioactive fallout. Their ship had landed pretty close to were the Miracle Machine had been kept, some government building apparently, though one would be hard pressed to determine where in the world he even was given the destruction. This planet no longer knew nations or borders, only death. The great equalizer indeed.
Garbage looked around at the frozen wasteland. The planet had been cast into a never-ending nuclear winter, a radioactive hell with only the skeletons of a few buildings left like jagged sculptures of steel and concrete, the last remnant of an extinct species, standing as grim epitaphs saying, ``Allow me to present humanity.'' This was their legacy. Every brick still left was only there because people had put it there. And like a child playing at the beach humanity had built their sandcastles, put all their effort into these monuments of their own greatness and superiority, just so they could tear them down. A species that had petulantly refused to grow out of its infancy, the human race relished in war and scoffed at the idea that they might be the stewards of the planet that had birthed them. They didn't go out with a bang. Nor with a whimper. They cheered on their own demise with boisterous applause.
Garbage paused for a moment. What was it he felt. He had a mission to do, and had no time to let his feelings get in the way but... Hate. It was hate. Hate for these people. Misanthropy for the species that had made him their servant and left him without a purpose. Hate. And love. Love for the race that gave him life, love for all of those members of that species that embodied what it meant to be a dog damned human. Love for Chelsea. For all of them. For the worst examples of mankind and the best of them, he loved them. And that's why he hated them. He hated that they'd put him through all this. And he hated that he couldn't saved them, that his love wasn't enough.
Garbage stepped into the ruins of an old building, the frozen ground crunching underfoot as he made his way through its halls. The place was built like a bunker, but all that meant was that this was the only building left relatively intact compared to the rest. Not enough for anyone to have survived in. When he got to the end of the hallway he stepped into a large room, like a massive theater. The ceiling was opened up to the sky and the floor had caved in, looking as though it had taken a direct hit. Garbage looked down to try and see how far the hole went and gulped at the opened maw starring back at him. He looked up. There, on the stage was that shimmering white rectangle, as tall as two human men, looking immaculately clean next to the frozen rubble of the collapsed ceiling. Shimmying around the hole, Garbage made his way to the shining slab, clambering up the stage to stand before it. He disengaged his helmet, the yellow-orange tint disappearing from his vision and letting in the cold, acrid air of a dead world. He ignored the now more audible clicking of his Geiger counter and fell to his knees in front of the sheer obelisk. The Miracle Machine, designed to grant its user's deepest desire. One couldn't simply toss in a coin and make a wish, the machine would only give you what you truly wanted, the ultimate test for a species. And humanity failed.
Tears began to roll down his face before quickly freezing on his cheeks and more than anything the emotion he felt now was shame. Shame for allowing himself to fail his mission, shame for letting down the entire human race... letting down Chelsea. But also shame for being here at all. Here kneeling before this supposed wish granter. This was meant for people, sapient species, to use. What right did a pet have to be here, a pet of a race that hadn't passed the test themselves? Did he think he could succeed where his masters and creators had failed? After all he was just an... just a dumb...
``I?m an animal. You can see that I?m just an animal. I don?t have the words, nobody taught me the words. And I can?t think for myself, those bastards never let me learn how to think. But if you really are... all powerful, all knowing - all understanding. Then you figure it out! Look into my soul; I know everything you need is in there. It has to be. Because for all my faults I never sold my soul to anyone, it?s mine! It... it?s human. My conscious wants nothing more than to see Chelsea again. But my subconscious hates humanity for what they did to themselves... for what they did to us. So figure out yourself what it is that I want because I know it can?t be that I would want something bad... Dog damn it all I can?t think of anything to wish for but... Happiness, free, for everyone. Let no one be forgotten!''
A vibration spread through the air. The Miracle Machine glowed, filling the room in a glorious sparkling light, before crumbling into dust.
Я верю, друзья
The static faded and suddenly the holo-screen became crystal clear again. And just as Kira looked up to see what had stopped the interference the clouds parted from the sky, the storm of ice and lightning lifted and gave way to a brilliant blue. She checked The Pluto's external sensors. Radiation returned to normal background levels, the air was breathable again. The planet had miraculously healed itself. Radiation that should have taken tens of thousands of years to dissipate faded away in an instant, the only evidence of cataclysm left were the ruined remains of buildings still sticking through the trees. Trees, for dogs' sake there were trees. He had done it, Garbage had saved everyone!
Kira picked up his signal making its way back to the ship. She ran down to the loading bay and opened the door. The air made her dizzy at first. She hadn't breathed in such pure air in so long. Not on that alien world, and certainly not on the M-Bark with its recycled oxygen. This was real air, from trees, filling her lungs. She drank it in like wine as Garbage approached, but before she could greet him she saw something curious. The corgi was lugging a large sphere, about as big as he was, behind him. She ran out to help him carry the thing.
``Garbage, what is this?'' The corgi didn't answer. He loaded the object into the ship and slammed the loading bay doors, quickly making his way up to the cockpit. ``Hey? Garbage?! Come on what's the rush, you did it, you saved everyone.''
The corgi looked back at her, at first with confusion, then he realized she truly didn't understand what he had just done. ``Yes, I saved Earth,'' he said, ``but the Shrubdub already told us there was nothing they could do about their asteroid, Kira. I saved this planet only to let it be destroyed all over again.''
Kira stood there as Garbage flipped on the ship and got them airborne. ``So what now? Garbage, the M-Bark is out of fuel, running low on food, we won't have time to find another world.''
``I've got a plan,'' the corgi steered The Pluto out of Earth's atmosphere. He could see it clearly now, hurtling towards earth, an asteroid big enough to destroy the planet he had just saved. ``That thing I brought with me. I found it in the same building as the Miracle Machine. It's a nuke, Kira. We're going to fire it at that asteroid and blow it to pieces.''
Kira paused for a moment. ``Garbage... that's crazy.''
``Do you have a better option?''
The husky smirked, the corgi could be a real goof sometimes but when push came to shove he knew how to take charge of a situation, ``Unfortunately for us both, I like crazy.''
Garbage smiled, The Pluto made its way to the ball of rock and ice that was threatening to wreck everything the corgi had accomplished. He hailed the M-Bark with his plan.
``It's suicide,'' Loaf, along with the rest of his crew, were huddled around a holo-screen. ``From what you described it's not a missile, you'd need to fly up to the asteroid and drop it off and by then you'd never be able to escape the explosion in time.'' The pit-bull looked like he'd be sweating bullets had he any sweat glands.
``And you've only got fourteen minutes before that asteroid hits the point of no return. It's some kind of tactical nuke, sure, but in theory one could rig it to the ship's torpedo, set it on a timer and let fly like a missile.'' Stella said with determination.
``The only problem then would be the layers upon layers of fail-safes, that thing isn't designed to go off for nothing. It'd take a master safe cracker to hack into that kind of military weapons system.'' This time it was Chonies.
``I don't care if it needs wires cut, computer chips hacked, or a stethoscope and patience. I haven't met a lock I couldn't break.'' Ed was already getting out his favorite technically illegal technical manuals he had scammed off some alien diplomat a while back.
``I'll patch you through to Kira, walk her through the process, we don't have a lot of time left.'' Garbage checked his ship's status. The Pluto had enough fuel left for this mission and it's torpedo bay was in working order. This was it.
In the loading bay Kira was busy tinkering with the nuclear bomb letting Chonies and Ed guide her through the process from a wrist mounted holo-screen. She began taking off a panel here, soldering a wire there. Soon the device looked like some evil scientist's deranged high-school science experiment. She tore the back off of a calculator and routed the screen and button pad through a ribbon wire connected to the bomb and typed in the code. It would have to do. Placing the tactical nuke into a gutted torpedo, she closed the lid as best as she could and loaded the makeshift missile into the ship, ready to fire.
``Garbage,'' she called up to him, ``we're ready!''
The corgi tried to gulp and take in a deep breath at the same time, making himself choke briefly, ``Okay.'' He said, his finger shaking above the launch button, ``Here goes nothing.''
Garbage remembered all he had been through in this short time. He had stood on the grave of his masters and passed the test where they had failed. And now the one thing he had left to remember his creator by was in danger of total annihilation for the second time. All of dog kind was counting on him, and deep down he knew humanity, for all their faults, were cheering him on somewhere far beyond.
He hit the button and watched as a thin torpedo drifted out of The Pluto towards the massive rock. Everyone held their breath as the missile made its way silently towards the asteroid before making impact. And then nothing. Had it failed? Had their last ditch effort been for nothing?
Garbage got up from his seat to lean in to the window, he opened his mouth the speak but before he could say anything he was struck by the scene before him. His eyes needed a moment to focus, what was he seeing exactly? There were two suns. The regular sun, and another, this one much closer, a brilliant fireball, stark and defiant against the mostly empty void of space. It shone a brilliant radiance, and Garbage was certain that had his ship's spaceshield not been equipped with automatic tint and radiation filters he would be blind right now.
Apparently the rest of the M-Bark realized what had happened as soon as Garbage did, and he could hear jubilant cheers from his holo-screen. The nuke had gone off. The mission was finally complete. For dogs' sake they had done it. Their world was free. They could all go home. Terra firma, for the first time in so long. No longer would they have to live aboard a flying hulk in space searching aimlessly for a livable planet. They had done it, they had saved Earth. The irony of it all, a nuke of all things, the weapon that had condemned humanity had also been the savior of their planet.
Garbage wondered how they'd all celebrate. He looked down for just a moment to get a grip of the controls, and as soon as he looked up the entire ship was hit with a massive wave of energy, and EMP blast from the nuke wracked the ship. Apparently they were closer to the blast than they had realized, but other than some bruises Garbage and Kira were fine.
But all their joy and relief was quickly snuffed away. There, where that second sun had been was a field of super-heated rock sublimated and spewed out in hellish gas clouds. It would have been a beautiful sight if it wasn't for the fact that in the middle of all this was the asteroid, a little worse for wear, but still mostly intact among the splintered fragments. It hadn't been enough. There was no way that rock wouldn't wipe out the planet now.
``Garbage,'' it was Stella from the holo-screen, the signal must have been knocked out of alignment because the image began to glitch and the sheltie's voice came through a thick layer of static, ``you've still got that escape pod? Nomi has a plan.''
``Please tell me you have a miracle for us, Nomi.''
The shih tzu explained that the asteroid was mostly intact but another direct hit from something solid would be just enough to splinter it into pieces. According to Nomi's calculation, The Pluto could be set on autopilot on a collision course for the asteroid and the detonation of the ships engines would be enough to fragment what remained. Most of it would then burn up in the Earth's atmosphere, the rest would wreak minor havoc on the planet but nothing world ending, and nothing the people of the M-Bark couldn't handle. Garbage supposed a mostly saved world was better than none at all, and they didn't have enough dogs to take up the whole planet just yet anyway.
``Kira, are you getting all this?'' Garbage called back. ``Prep the escape pod, I'll get the ship pointed in the right direction and send her flying.''
``Aye aye, Captain!''
The corgi wasn't sure how many more of these close calls he could take. Maybe after this was all over he'd gladly hand over his captain's hat to Stella and work something nice and cushy like toilet cleaning. At least then you don't have to worry about the fate of two species and a planet to worry about.
Garbage flipped through all the switches to get the ship ready for its final voyage and looked over the control panel, the technical stuff was a bit over his head but a blinking red indicator left nothing to the imagination. Much of the ships computer systems had been fried in that EMP blast and the ship was now functioning in auxiliary mode, life support and engines were functioning as normal but secondary systems were offline. But that would mean -
``Come on, Garbage, let's get out of here. I wonder what kind of parties they throw for heroes.'' Kira was standing in the doorway, holding a bag of the crew's belongings that was almost as large as she was. The husky had thought to gather everything she could before jettisoning The Pluto.
Garbage smiled, what did he do to deserve such a thoughtful dog by his side? He took another look over the controls to confirm what he already knew before getting up and following Kira to the escape pod. Garbage opened the door for her and extended his arm to shake her paw. She smirked, ``Save the mushy stuff for when we're sipping drinks back on the M-Bark, Garbage.'' He left his paw hanging. She rolled her eyes and humored him, dropping her bag and gripping his paw. And immediately she yipped in protest as Garbage lifted her up by the arm with all his strength and tossed her into the escape pod, ``Garbage, what the-'' she tried to get up but had the wind knocked out of her as as Garbage tossed her bag into the pod with her and smashed the panel to close the airlock doors. Kira banged on her side of the door and grabbed fruitlessly at the handle, ``Garbage, this isn't funny, what are you doing?''
The corgi rested his finger on the launch panel. ``I'm sorry, Kira.''
``Garbage, what-?'' Her eyes widened as she saw the corgi punching in the code, she tried desperately to override him from her side but it was no use. ``Come on, there's plenty of room in here for you too. Don't do this, Garbage, please, I-'' She was cut off as the escape pod launched away from The Pluto, hurtling towards the safety of the M-Bark.
Garbage banged his fist on the controls and cursed his maker, only lingering for a moment to make sure Kira's pod made it back to the M-Bark. He then quickly made his way back to the cockpit and took control of the Pluto, hoping his limited knowledge and intuition would help him pilot his ship to where he need to go. He flipped switches to no avail. It would be all manual flying from here. He was pretty sure he remembered how to drive a stick... He began to guide The Pluto towards the asteroid, trying to find the best path around the debris field. He would need a straight shot if he had any chance of this working.
The holo-computer was non-functioning now, but this close to the M-Bark he could still receive a crackled radio signal. It was Duchess, and Garbage could make out Kira in the background desperately trying to explain what had happened. He was glad she was safe. ``You want to tell me what's going on, Garbage?''
``Ma'am,'' he drew a deep breath, ``That EMP knocked out a lot of the ships computers. I've got no autopilot. I need to take The Pluto in manually.''
There was a momentary silence through the pops and cracks of the radio before Duchess responded solemnly, ``You know that's a one way trip, son.''
``Yes, ma'am.''
Garbage winced at the sound of Kira pleading to him, though he couldn't quite make out what she was saying through the static. Duchess did her best to mask her emotion with a sterile, authoritative tone, ``It's been an honor having you aboard the M-Bark, Captain Garbage.''
``Likewise, ma'am.'' He cursed himself for not saying more, for not letting himself go out with a rousing speech of bravery and glory that would be played to future generations so they'd understand the true meaning of heroism... for not trying to comfort Kira. But he wasn't the type for speeches, and he needed to focus now. He flipped off the radio and took a deep breath.
The asteroid was followed by tons of debris that had been blown off in the explosion, most of which would burn away harmlessly in the Earth's atmosphere. But here in space even the smallest fragment of rock could wreak havoc on the already damaged Pluto. He made his descent. A computer would be able to effortlessly avoid the chunks of floating rock, but Garbage was steering manually and soft plonks and hard thuds echoed all across the hull of The Pluto as the corgi weaved through the debris field.
If he had been human, Garbage would be needing to wipe the sweat from his brow, but as it was he was able to keep both paws on the stick. Even then, there was only so much he could do as he cut around a large molten rock that had launched off the asteroid as it entered the Earth's Ionosphere only to be met with a smaller rock that slammed directly into the ship's spaceshield. A spiderweb of cracks filled most of Garbage's vision and there was a sharp hissing of air trying to escape a small hole in the center. The Pluto's integrity had been compromised and in sputtering desperation the ship gave. What systems hadn't already been fried by the EMP faltered. Life support, gravity, engines. The ship was now moving from the gravitational pull of the Earth and its own inertia. Garbage was flung from his seat, winding himself against a bulkhead. As the ship entered zero-G the concept of up and down had become meaningless. With precious oxygen escaping the crack in his spaceshield and the dizziness from slamming his head, the corgi was left floating in his ship, his world spinning into chaos, unable to find a reference point. The only thing he truly understood was that he had failed. For the second time he had failed his mission. For the second time he was going to allow the death of those he cared about. For the second time he felt he was going to die a failure. But something passed his vision. The corgi strained to focus on the image, fighting through the pain in his head and the choking of his lungs. And in front of him floating in zero gravity was the photo of him and Chelsea. He felt his tears begin to float along with him. No. He gritted his teeth and bared the pain. No. He wouldn't let her down. Not again.
Orientating himself, he kicked off the ceiling of The Pluto and launched towards the controls. All electronic systems were dead, but the ship still had enough inertia left for him to steer the rest of the way. He just needed to make a clear path to the asteroid. Lacking much of the ships functionality he used what little control he had to exploit the space debris itself, intentionally running into rocks to change his momentum and line his ship up to hit the asteroid. He braced himself for every impact, allowing the pain to keep him conscious as his body begged for air. He could see it now, between the cracks on his spaceshield, filling his vision. He would hit his target and the day would be saved. And he would be a hero. And perhaps he could even be allowed to see his Chelsea again. As the friction of the Earth's atmosphere engulfing The Pluto in flames blinded him and as the shaking of ships hull coming apart under the strain of reentry deafened him, Garbage couldn't help but smile. Of course he'd be allowed to see her again, all dogs go to heaven after all.
Lamento eroico (Epilogue)
A pup kicked his feet absentmindedly, watching the trees pass by from the train's windows. He liked to imagine a dog running along with him, jumping over the trees and avoiding other obstacles as they went. He needed something to pass the time on these long trips. Every year his mother would take him to the capital city, and after what felt like ages (around 15 minutes) the skyline of a sprawling city built into a large crater became clear. It's structures were built for utility first and foremost, having an almost brutalist look to them, yet in its designer's ingenuity this utility meshed with an artistic flourish of hanging gardens and greenery that filled every gap, leaving no space wasted. And what bland, gray concrete was still visible was painted over in brilliant murals depicting the triumphs of their people. These weren't the noisy, polluted cities of old. More like concrete jungles setup for the living to live in, not for car to stink up. You could even see the stars at night. The boy wasn't sure why that was so special. Apparently long ago you couldn't see the stars at night in the big cities but he had never experienced such a thing. And if he did he'd simply ask everyone politely to turn off their lights so he could see the stars. But even with all that, he was more fond of the countryside. And so too was his mother seeing as how she chose to live so far away from the city, despite insisting on this yearly commute.
He held his mother's paw as they stepped off the train and made their way to the city center. The boy's mother always bought him an ice cream along the way, and he had always finished it by the time they got to where they were going. A large block of marble stood in the middle of round clearing. People milled about and tended to the plants there, picking fruit off the trees as freely as they would in the forests. He stood beside his mother as she knelt once again before the marble wall. The boy looked over the engraving. Whoever had chiseled the dog had done their best to make him look heroic, standing with his space helmet tucked under one arm and holding a flag in the other, they had even gone so far as to make him taller and quite subtly and tastefully chiseled in some abs on the corgi. Had the boy seen him somewhere before? A school textbook maybe, but... The boy realized the artist had taken some creative liberty, but now he was certain he recognized the corgi. Garbage? Was that really a name for a hero?
The boy rested a paw on his mother's shoulder, ``Did you know him?'' he asked. A child doesn't always pick up on the nuances of social interaction, the boy had asked more out of curiosity than an empathetic understanding. But the look on his mother's face gave him pause. He had never seen her try to hide her emotion before. But as Kira looked up at her son she smiled, doing her best to look strong, and blinking away a tear she embraced him. ``You're old enough now,'' she said, ``let me tell you all about him.''
This story takes place where the show left off at episode 10. Captain Garbage is assigned to a top secret mission, and the fate of his world is left in his paws. Available as a PDF or EPUB here: https://mega.nz/folder/6osDDSrI#um9aqGr-mxKzUaPp8_PzXg
Yeah. I had a lot of these ideas in my head for a while an I guess my brain figured a Dogs in Space fanfic was the perfect outlet for all of it. Hope you liked it~
Yeah. I had a lot of these ideas in my head for a while an I guess my brain figured a Dogs in Space
