The True Story Of Hansel And Gretel - Part 1
By ChubbySong321
Hello. You’ve all probably heard a lot about me. The witch of a woman who tried to hurt 2, poor, hungry, kids who happened to get lost in the woods. Well I’m here to tell you that isn’t what actually happened. I’m here to tell you the TRUE story of those 2, lost, kids
The first thing you should know is that I’m no witch. That’s just a rumor among the neighborhood children. Living alone, on a hill, in a clearing in the woods, it’s to be expected kids would make up such stories about me. In truth, I’m a chemist and a darn good 1, if I say so myself
In fact, I don’t even look like a witch. I’m not elderly. I’m not frumpy and I certainly don’t have green skin! I’m 25 years old with brown eyes and black hair tied into a bun. I even sport a white lab coat over my thin build, dark blue sweater and black slacks. Also, my skin is pretty radiant, thank you very much!
Anyways, this story has more to do with my research than my looks. As I said, I’m a chemist and I’ve been working on something that will change the world. Using my considerable knowhow, I was able to create massive, edible, materials
They come in a verity of flavors: candy, cookie, chocolate and, my personal favorite, gingerbread. They’re light, fluffy and delicious! However, they’re also stronger, and sturdier, than any other sweets. So much so, that I was able to construct my entire house out of the stuff
Yes, more than a few have called me crazy for doing this. However, while it did cost me a bit more than I would’ve liked, I was able to prove my point about my confection creations. Besides, I was able to pick a prime spot…well prime as far as I’m concerned
Now that you have my backstory, let’s get to the tale you’ve all heard before. Let’s get to the truth about those 2, lost, children. Let me tell you what REALLY happened with them
It started off like any other day for me. I woke up, had a sensible breakfast, and got to work on my latest creation: a table made out of chocolate-chip cookie. It would be the perfect addition to my home and really tie the kitchen’s candy-décor together. Little did I know what a horrible mistake cooking something so sweet-smelling would end up being. I had just taken the tabletop out of the oven, and had fixed it to its base with icing, when it happened
The ground began to shake violently! At first, I thought it was an earthquake and ran to the jawbreaker doorway to brace myself. However, something seemed a bit…off about this particular quake. For 1 thing, the shaking was fairly rhythmic. I thought maybe this “earthquake” was caused by a couple of elephants walking by. However, the sounds of 2, young, voices chatting letting me know these were no elephants…sort of…
“Wow! You were right sis. It IS made outta gingerbread and candy!” A little boy’s voice said excitedly
“Yep! It looks super yummy too. Let’s eat!” A little girl’s voice replied
Before I had time to say anything, or even really react to what had just happened, I could hear the 2 kids begin munching on my house! Strong as my edible materials were, they were soft, fluffy and light to the touch…or, in this case, taste. They would be easily gobbled up by these children!
I knew I had to do something and quickly fastened my lab coat as I ran out of the house to see exactly how far these kids had gotten. My home wasn’t the largest in the neighborhood, but it wasn’t the smallest either. Cozy is how I preferred to think of it. However, this did mean it took me a second to get around the house and reach the spot where the kids were eating from
When I finally laid eyes on the 2, young, children, I let out an audible gasp. No, it wasn’t just from the fact they were eating my home. No, it wasn’t from the fact that, by eating my house, they were eating all of the hard work and expense I had put into it. No, it wasn’t even from the fact they had eaten so much in the 10 seconds it had taken me to reach them that half of the east-facing, gingerbread, wall was now gone. No, it was from how large these 2 children were
I was partially right when I thought 2 elephants were attacking my house, because that’s what I saw! Okay, they were both human. However, both kids were big enough to BE baby elephants. They weren’t chubby. They weren’t fat. These 2 siblings looked downright obese! They had to be the fattest kids I’ve ever laid eyes on!
What made this all the worse was how young they both appeared to be. These 2 kids, who happened to be twins by the way, couldn’t have been older than 8. Both sported the same blond-white hair. The boy’s was short-cut and the girl’s was long and tied into twin pigtails. Both had the same blue eyes, same puffy cheeks and the same double chin. They both even wore the same blue jeans. The boy had a red t-shirt and the girl sported a yellow, long sleeved, shirt. Neither of their pants, nor their shirts, could stop the flesh of their bulging bellies from sticking out a few inches between said shirts and pants
“W-W-What are you kids doing!?!” I said, still a bit shocked by the scene
After taking a moment to swallow down what they had just eaten, the 2 looked back up at me. It was then the brother began
“We’re both really hungry. Our mom sent us out to *URRP* get some exercise and…and…”
“…And we in a got lost! We haven’t eaten REALLY *BURRP* long time.” His sister interrupted
“We’re STAVING!!!” They both said in unison, clutching their fat guts to emphasize this point
Of course, given how large both kids were, and the fact their faces were stained with gingerbread crumbs, it looked like they weren’t TOO starving. Heck, if anything, they looked way too overfed. However, despite my desire to live alone, and despite the stories kids might’ve made up about me, I’m a bit of softy, especially when it comes to children. I wasn’t just going to leave them out here all alone
“What’re your names?” I asked them
“I’m Hansel” The boy replied, wiping the crumbs from his mouth
“And I’m Gretel” His sister replied, letting out a small burp
“Well I’m Linda. I guess you didn’t do too much damage to my house…” I lied as I looked at the massive, gapping, hole in my wall
“How about you both come in and I’ll fix you a small snack before I help you get back ho…”
“Yaaaay! Let’s go eat!” The 2, little, fatties excitedly shouted before they took off for my front door
The young plumpers shook the ground so much that, despite my best efforts to remain standing, I toppled over, landing on a large, still uneaten, piece of gingerbread wall. Of course, it broke irreparably. I could only gasp in shock at everything that had just happened. Little did I know just how bad things would get with these 2, lost, “little”, fat, siblings
To be continued...
