She probably should have called ahead. Amethyst bit her lip while waiting on the front porch of her mother's house. It used to be her house as well, and there always would be a place for her if she and Helga had enough issues that forced her to move out, but her mother paid the bills so she had dominion over it. The vole scoffed, she needed to stop using such harsh words when angry.
Mild surprise masked over her mother's face as the older vole opened the door. ``You know it's customary to call first, Amelia,'' she said, smiling softly and hugging her child. Amethyst didn't respond, making herself feel like a spoiled teenage brat rather than the young adult she claimed herself to be. A young adult who still went by a different name in most cases. God, I am such a child, she thought to herself.
``Is something the matter?'' Joyce asked. Amethyst shrugged, then nodded, ``Yeah, can we discuss this inside?'' Heading to the kitchen, Amethyst hung her leather jacket by a chair and sat down. So many times she'd been at this table, often alone thanks to her workaholic of a mother. At least now they were together, with cups of water in hand.
They mirrored each other as opposites. Joyce Barret, head of a law firm dressed in a loose blouse and dress skirt, with her blonde headfur bond up into a bun and light glaring off her round rimmed glasses. Then came Amelia Barret, a college student dressed in a red and black plaid skirt, a black t-shirt with a RockJaws logo on it, and half her head buzzed with the other half covered by green dyed headfur. ``So, what's eating at you? Trouble in bed?''
``What?'' Amethyst blinked then shuddered, ``What the fuck, mom? No!''
``What? Is it wrong to talk about sex problems with my daughter? Granted it's with another woman so I don't know how I could help-'' Amethyst raised her hand up, ``No, just...'' She sighed, rubbing her temple in the hopes it'd erase that question from her mind, ``The last thing I want is to talk about my sex life with my mother.''
``I'm just trying to be more modern or whatever. We both know how my parents reacted to this subject.''
Recalling her brief interaction with her grandparents in San Francisco, Amethyst nodded. ``Well just...'' She shook her head, ``Look I didn't come here to talk about this.'' Taking a deep breath, she looked her mother straight in the eyes and asked, ``What can you tell me about dad?''
If the older vole was stunned by the question, she didn't show it. Staring into her drink, Joyce jostled the cup briefly before responding. ``There isn't much to tell,'' She said, taking a sip from her cup and avoiding her daughter's piercing gaze, ``I dated a boy when I was young, got pregnant, and I was told to leave. Simple bullshit really.''
``More like bullshit bullshit,'' Amethyst muttered, clasping her cup tight, ``There's more to it than that, and I deserve to know it.''
``Why do you care?'' Joyce asked, eyeing her daughter directly, ``You never seemed bothered by...'' She blinked, then sighed and hung her head, ``Right, I forgot I wasn't the most observant mother.''
``No, you weren't.'' Amethyst packed more bitterness than she intended with her words, but the memories flooded back. Her mother always meant well, but Amelia had been raised by either herself, neighbors, or teachers. They had an aunt, but she died early in Amethyst's life. ``I just...I'm just so angry.'' Her claws gripped into the tablemat, ``Like, fuck mom. I want it to be at him, I want an honest and proper excuse to be mad at him, but part of me wants to give him a chance.''
``So you want an excuse?'' Her mother asked, reaching for her daughter's tense hand, ``Something to justify not giving him a chance?'' Her daughter's nod filled the older vole with shame and pride. Pride for the girl Amethyst had become, and shame for lacking in its involvement. Taking a deep breath, the vole looked up to the ceiling and spoke. ``David wasn't present when I was told to leave. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant for months out of fear. I thought `Oh I must be late' or `I skipped' or something, anything, to rationalize it. But when I was confronted with the truth...'' her grip tightened and her breath shuddered. Amethyst put her hand over her mother's, a small but wonderful comfort.
``My parents disowned me on the spot.'' Joyce still heard their insults, her mother's wailing at how she raised a slut. ``All I had was my backpack filled with...well I don't even remember. Nothing important, your aunt had to get that wired to me. So, I did what any pregnant girl on the streets did when they had the option: Went to my boyfriend.'' The next few words were a struggle to say, but she powered on through. ``David wasn't home, but his parents saw my plight and let me in. Then they gave me an ultimatum: I tell David, he gets disowned from the family and we're two young kids out on our luck. Or I take their money and leave, never contacting David again.''
***
Her hands shivered. She clenched them tight, holding onto the stub of her bus ticket until her ride arrived. It was all last minute, and not like she could afford many comforts. In theory, she could, after cashing in the check they'd given her. But she'd already made one dumb mistake getting pregnant this early.
Now she had to be an adult.
Thunder and rain poured outside. Fitting for the situation. When they called her bus, Joyce put one hand over her stomach and whispered that she'd be better. She wouldn't judge her daughter as a failure, but she'd try to provide better opportunities than she ever had.
It didn't hold back the tears, or how she craved to hear his voice calling for her as the bus started to roll out. Some sort of fairy tale nonsense about true love surpassing all. But he didn't come.
Clutching her stomach, she uttered a soft prayer. ``I promise I'll be a good mother.'' Curling up in her seat, the vole tries to fight the onset of exhaustion flooding over her. But she's so tired, and the bus will move shortly. She'll just rest her eyes until they start moving.
***
``By the time I woke up, I was a state over and nearly missed my next bus.'' Joyce took a sip from her water, letting it refresh her soul after the painful memory. ``A few more trips and I met with your aunt at the station. Rest is history.''
``He just...'' Amethyst struggled to picture it all. Her father had to have known, there was no way his parents didn't tell him. ``He just abandoned you?''
``Dear, I doubt he knew until it was too late.'' Her mother leaned back, deep in thought on the event. It was clear that despite it all, she made the right choice for herself and her daughter. ``I don't think I would have accepted him even if he did show up. We weren't ready to raise a child together.''
``But you still had me. You raised me without him. Wouldn't it have been easier?''
``You don't know David.''
``I'm trying too!'' She snapped, ``And so far I know about his shit...shitass parents than I do him. Like, goddamn, are all my grandparents just douchebags? And why would they buy you off? What purpose did that serve?''
``If I had to guess, David's parents had plans for him. Rich people often plan in advance.''
Rich asshole grandparents? Amethyst rolled her eyes, this just got better and better. ``What...god this is going to sound stupid but...was love involved? I mean, you two did love each other right?''
``As much as two young people could.''
``That's not-''
``Amelia, if you're asking if I chose love, the answer is yes. But I chose love for you over love for him, and if I had gone through it all over again I'd do the same.'' Her hand braced the younger vole's face, ``I have plenty regrets, but you're not one.''
``So...should I even give him a chance?'' She asked, unsure with herself. From her mother's side of the story, it seemed like David had no idea about her until recently. But was he still the boy her mother loved? Or had his parents made him worse off? Amethyst shook her head, if that were the case then he never would have come looking for her. Her mother closed her eyes and exhaled, letting go of her daughter's hand to grab a strip of paper nearby.
``This is his number,'' She said, handing down the seven digit number preceded by the area code. ``You're an adult now, Amelia. In the end, it's ultimately your choice.''
Trying to avoid the pressure was like trying to not sink with rocks in her pockets. She shivered, taking the number. She could call him any time, meet up to hear his side of the story. ``Thanks mom...'' Amethyst said, nearly in tears before circling around to embrace her mother. Leaving the house and sitting in her car, Amethyst hovered a finger over her keypad and locked her gaze on the number. With a sigh, she folded it up and put it in her purse. He deserved to meet her, but she needed help first.
