Beep. Beep. Beep.
Joyce's eyes snapped open at the incessant banging of her alarm. Pushing off her covers, the vole yawned and sat up from bed, rubbing her eyes before she walked across the room to turn her clock off. Up and about, she made her way to the bathroom to freshen up for the day, mouthing along to `Black Hole Sun' by Soundgarden as her phone sorted through the fur's personal playlist.
It was only a year or two old when she first heard it, three or four until she fell in love with it, and now it was considered old enough to be played on classic stations. Time passed too quickly for Joyce's liking, but she had to accept that with how Amelia grew up around her. Besides, there was no point in planning for a slow passing of time. Not when heading a law firm.
Putting on her navy blue work dress and cracking a few eggs, she turned on the news to fill her empty house with background noise. No, empty wasn't completely fair to say. Her daughter's room still existed upstairs, she just preferred to stay somewhere else for college. One quick buzz from her phone had her slide it open and adjust her earpods. ``Good morning, Beatrice.''
``Good morning, Miss Barret. Have you seen the Hamptons case yet?''
``I looked over the case last night,'' She said, sliding two over-easy eggs onto a plate, and digging in with a fork, ``It seems rather cut and dry. Shouldn't be any major issues.''
``Really? But the mother-''
``It's a custody battle, Beatrice, and the mother has proven she's not fit to hold onto her child in comparison to the father. I-'' Her doorbell rang throughout the house. Confused, she took the last bite of her eggs and grabbed her suitcase. ``I'll talk with you in the office about it. Be there soon.'' The list of whoever could bother her this early in the morning were few to none. Her neighbor was a quiet elephant who preferred to keep to himself, and she hadn't seen any door to door religious nuts in years. Not that who was at the door mattered, she had a schedule to keep.
Twisting the knob she pulled the door open, ``Can I help...you...'' Her gaze drifted down, first to the light blue crocs over her guest's feet, followed by his expansive gut, golden tan fur, and indigo eyes that she never expected to see again. The canine in the front looked sheepishly at her, hands deep in his suede jacket pockets, morning sunlight glinted off his glasses as he cleared his throat. ``Hello, Joyce. You look...good,'' David said.
``You got fat.''
``Ow...'' the labrador winced, ``Not the hit I was expecting, but deserved nonetheless. Can I come in?''
She didn't move. ``How did you find me?'' While Joyce hadn't made any major effort to keep herself hidden, she still never expected him to come looking for her. Especially halfway across the country. ``Did you search my name through Linkedin or something?''
He nodded, scratching the back of his head, ``Yeah. Would have tried Facebook, but I don't have one. Frankly, I try to avoid social media unless it's a necessity nowadays.'' The two stared at each other, one with the intensity of a focused beam, the other on the verge of crumbling by still standing despite it all. Finally, she sighed and texted Beatrice that she'd be late to the office today. ``Yes, you can come in. Would you like anything to drink?''
``Water would be fantastic.''
Letting him inside, she put her suitcase down and poured water from the tap. ``So...'' He meandered awkwardly to the nearest chair, ``You've done well for yourself. I mean, the head of your own firm at our age? That's impressive.''
``It's a small town,'' She replied, handing him the water. Noticing the dripping faucet, David eyed it with worry. ``It's safe to drink. This isn't Flint.''
``Can you blame me? It's been a controversial story.''
``On that, we can agree on.'' She pulled out a chair, sitting across from the golden retriever as his fingers clasped around the glass. ``So, what are you doing these days?''
``Doctor. Surgeon specifically.''
``Just a doctor?'' She asked, ``I figured by now you'd be trying to get into-''
``Just a doctor,'' He concluded. Without a wall-mounted clock, nothing broke the silence between them or distracted her from noticing the tenseness of his grip. Joyce had a good idea of why he was here, she just prayed to be wrong. ``Why are you here, David?'' She finally asked, unable to spend an hour or two in silence.
``I want to speak with my daughter.'' David slowly sipped from the shaking cup. Gulping, he briefly gasped and continued, ``And I want your permission to do so.''
There it was. The words pierced through Joyce's heart, but she showed no emotion. Too many years in court cases had helped her keep a cool expression. ``She's an adult, David. You don't need my permission to see her.''
``Oh sure, and I bet me walking up to her at random to say, `Hi kiddo, I'm your long lost father who didn't even know he had a kid' is going to go exceptionally well.'' His smile carried an edge. Exhaling, his features softened and he continued, ``Look, I'm not here to start a fight. I just learned I even had a daughter over the summer. It was...well I'd say it felt like a big shoe to drop, but really it was a hurricane of conflicting emotions.''
``I can imagine.''
``So why didn't you tell me!'' He clenched his glass harder, ``Didn't I...didn't I have a right to know? I mean, even if you didn't want to see me again, or ever have her know I existed, I could have paid child support or-''
Her hands clenched at the damned guilt trip, ``I didn't need more of your family's money.''
``More?'' He blinked, then his eyes grew wide in understanding. ``No...they wouldn't...they would...'' Joyce nodded, ``Part of the deal was to never contact you. Back then I thought they had the legal power to enforce it. But a few years in law school taught me otherwise.''
``And you still never contacted me. You-You just let me live my life, unaware of her existence while you struggled to raise her?'' Fire burned in his eyes. She could tell he wanted to scream, and how much it took just to keep him down. The vole still felt an attraction to that restraint, but she knew it was the young and lovestruck girl she'd abandoned long ago.
``I had an aunt. But yes, I kept you away.''
``I...'' David slouched his shoulders, fatigued with this information. ``Deep down, I knew they paid you off. Part of me wanted to believe otherwise, not because they wouldn't do that, but because I thought you wouldn't accept such an offer. I know I panicked when I heard you say those words, but I was a child back then. I didn't know better.''
``So was I. And I was younger than you.'' Joyce remembered his reaction clearly, the terror clear across the young dog's face when she told him her period was late. Even with the knowledge of hindsight, how two teenagers? futures were about to be ruined by her pregnancy, it still felt like a barbed needle through her heart. ``But the past is in the past. I don't fault you for it.'' Joyce didn't necessarily forgive him though, but the vole wasn't innocent in their little battle. She knew he had a right to know about Amelia, but what was she to tell her daughter? That her father was always a quick search and a phone call away? That the poor girl might have had another family member to rely on, rather than her overworked mother who unknowingly drove her daughter insane just for attention? In the end, Amelia would make the final decision on whether to actually meet him.
``I tried to find you, you know.'' David stared into his reflection atop the water, ``I still remember how sore my throat was, calling out your name at the bus station. I...'' He sighed, taking a long gulp and emptying his glass. ``Sorry, I didn't come here to bring up guilt like this. I just...I just want to speak with my daughter. And I was hoping you could tell her that.''
``I will think on it,'' Joyce said, eyeing her watch to avoid his gaze. He wasn't satisfied with the answer, ``Please, Joyce. If there is anything I can do to earn this, I'll do it. If I need to pay back eighteen years of child support I'll-''
``Does it look like I need more money?'' She sneered, pointing to her house, ``I did just fine raising her without your help.''
``Then why is she sleeping with someone older than you?'' The words were clear, but the knowledge he knew came as a surprise. He read her expression, face softening when he saw something else entirely. ``You knew...you know she's sleeping with that pig woman?''
``Helga saved her life,'' Joyce growled, clenching her fists, ``Without her, my daughter would have been raped. So yes, I knew, and as strange as it is, I support their relationship.'' Standing up, she pointed to the door, ``Now get out.''
``Joyce...'' He stood up, carefully raising his hand in defense, ``I didn't mean-''
``Get out!'' She screamed, dropping her composure and unleashing nearly twenty years of forgotten rage at him. ``Get out of my house!'' Her throat burned in agony, tears forming in her eyes. Regretful of his words, David nodded and left, turning back with one last request to speak with his daughter. She slammed the door on him, and let the tears fall. Joyce told herself she'd stopped caring about him, but deep down that dumb sixteen year old still had feelings of her badboy lover. Hate, regret, longing, all mingled up into one ball that she wanted to kick to the curb.
It wasn't until an hour passed that she made her way to the office, distracting herself with the work of her firm. She stayed late, arriving home to her empty house with boxed up Chinese and a decision in mind. Calling her daughter's cell, her heartbeat pounded against her chest as she struggled to retain composure.
It took three rings before she hung up. It hurt too much. She needed more time, just a little more time to explain it all.
