Gux’s heart beat quickly every time he saw her. He didn’t know what this was, but over the months, it had grown. At first, he’d thought something was wrong, but he’d heard Lily say the word a few times, and had a feeling it might be that. “Lily… What love?” He looked at her curiously after she used it to describe two bunnies that were nuzzling each other.
“Love?” she said, looking at him with a blush. “Are… you joking? You must know what love is.”
Gux shook his head. “No… Is it good?”
She twisted her mouth, contemplating how to answer that. In her experience, it had always ended kind of badly and looked incredibly horrible from the outside. “It’s… It’s when your heart beats faster just looking at something.”
Gux thought about it for a moment. “Hunt? Fear?”
She shook her head. “No… Some people play it like a hunt, but… it’s when someone makes you so happy you don’t know how to think. It’s… It’s when you don’t want to do anything but help someone, and care for them, and make them feel like the most important person in all the land, because, to you, they are.”
“Love…” Gux thought about it. There wasn’t a word in gnoll for it. The two closest ones were fight and rival… He then smiled, though. He definitely knew that feeling, and he was looking at the cause of it.
A few days later, with his heart pounding in his chest, he came up to Lily, licking her again. He stuck his tongue out playfully as she reacted. “Gux, why do you keep slobbering on me?”
He just laughed as she wiped it off. “It fun! You funny…” She frowned at him and he stopped, his ears sinking as he examined the floor. “Lily… You ever be in love?”
She thought about it. “Is this from that conversation from a few days ago? I didn’t think two rabbits would leave you so bothered.”
Gux frowned again. “I just… want know. Gnolls no know love… They fight, keep tribe strong… sometimes wrestling makes young in girl gnoll, but there no love…”
Lily blushed, though she wondered why. Gux was an adult, he should know all about it… but to her, he’d always seemed like a little kid, or maybe a pet… Clearly, she had to rethink things a little. “Well, Gux, yes. I have. He was this dark, brooding elf with a penchant for bows and liked to hunt… We wouldn’t have ever worked, and he went off to fight a war against the…” she stopped, remembering the targets.
Gux finished, sighing. “Gnolls… Gnolls all that evil around here… Scare orcs and goblins…” He grumbled, poking at the ground with a stick until flowers sprouted.
She sighed. “But you’re much better than that, Gux… You’re not like any other gnoll… or elf, for that matter.” She continued to take her census of the animals, as spring was coming around, and soon there’d be a lot more of them.
“How show love?” Gux was still far behind, but he looked at her intensely.
She blinked, looking at him with confusion. “How old are you? Have you never courted?”
He shook his head. “Not strong warrior… Nobody bother to even fight.” He sighed. “Adult for four years… So… 11 now.”
Her blinking turned into blushing. “You’re only 11? I thought… nevermind.”
Gux frowned. “Oldest warrior in tribe 34. No older gnolls.”
“I didn’t mean…” She was over a hundred, and counting. At 11 she’d hardly been reading her first books. “It doesn’t matter. Why do you want to know about love?”
“We watching animals mate… Want know what you do.” He asked her with big, innocent eyes, and her blush just grew. She definitely needed to think about him differently now… When he stepped closer, looking down on her from his height, she was beet red, and he poked her cheek. “Is… color change needed?”
She shook her head, trying to calm herself down. “No, that’s… embarrassment. Polite society doesn’t talk about love and lust… not even the druids, and we’re the ones dealing with animals all the time.” She thought about it, leaning on a tree as she thought. “Well… A lover brings flowers and gifts… makes a person feel like the very best in the world… They hug and kiss and snuggle… They make each other laugh and think and grow as people… They make you feel safe and needed and cared for. You smile at the ones you love more than anyone else, but they see your crying too, and support you. And even when they need their space, and you know it, it hurts to not be with them… even when you’re the one making the two of you be apart.” She sighed, flopping on the ground. “I guess… Love is more complicated than just joy, but it will make you feel more bliss than you can imagine.”
Gux looked at her, his heart panging in his chest. He sat down next to her, his huge arm hugging her to his side. He licked her cheek again. “It okay, Lily. No be sad, please?”
She shook her head. “Not sad, just… idealistic. Nobody I know has ever had a love like that…” She went to get up as he licked her again, and she looked at him with annoyance, until… She saw that look.
Gux was looking at her like there was nobody else in the world. He was smiling huge, and in his hand, he was holding a sunflower he’d been growing in the dirt next to them. It was then that she connected it. The flowers, the presents… the licks… Any animal with a muzzle like his wouldn’t kiss, or wouldn’t naturally, they’d… She backed up, shaking her head. “No. No no no, I can’t right now, there’s no way, I…”
Gux got up, going to hug her, and she pulled away again. “Gux, I can’t! The commune wants me to kill you, not protect you! I can’t keep you safe… I can’t keep you from getting hurt, and they’ve been looking around and…” She looked up at his big, sweet eyes, filled with all the love in the world. “Gux… I care for you. A lot. I want to teach you and see you grow… But I don’t think… I’m not sure I can…” She paused, feeling the words coming out of her mouth were wrong… Maybe she could…
Gux made that whimpering sound for a moment, the hand he held out to her drooping low, and she stepped forward. “Gux… maybe I can-”
Behind her, two sparrows that had been flying nearby shifted into people, weapons in hand. Between them, the head of the druid council stood tall. “I knew it! I knew you were trying your hand and training this thing. And now you want to love it?” The venom dripping from his words struck like a bear’s claw, sending Gux staggering back in fear, while Lily stood between the two.
“Birch, it’s not what you think!” She couldn’t bring herself to say she didn’t want to… She couldn’t even say he was wrong.
“Silence!” He stepped forward, his hand glowing with fiery red energy as a thorny whip shot out, grabbing Gux. “I will take care of this beast myself.”
Gux let out a fearful cry, feeling the thorns biting him as he grabbed onto the tree next to him. The branch broke off, and before he knew it, he was swinging it, instincts taking hold as it shaped itself into a blade, cutting the vine and slashing Birch’s arm. He froze, seeing the blood dripping from the weapon as he let it go, a normal stick clattering to the floor. “No… no hurt…”
Birch grabbed his arm, healing up the damage. “See! The beast attacks a councilman! It must be put down!”
The two guards at his sides moved forward, while Lily, in a panic, raised up a wall of thorns. “Gux, run!”
“Lily, I don’t-” He looked at her, worried in all ways, including in himself and what he could do...
She looked at him pleadingly. Understanding, wanting him to stay, but knowing he couldn’t… “Please.”
He backed up, taking one long look as his heart slowly wrenched itself in his chest, then turned, sprinting away on all fours as quickly as his arms could take him… and crying out his whimpering cry all the way into the forest.
When he was gone, her spell disappeared, and she watched the guards give chase while the councilman looked at her with disapproving eyes. “I hope you know what this means…”
Lily did, at least with him… With Gux… she only hoped he’d ever forgive her.
