It was a sunny spring day and everyone's favorite monkey-scientist, Jam, was sitting on the deck outside his tree-mounted lab. The 3-foot-tall monkey was clad in only an unbuttoned lab-coat and nothing else. He had shaggy brown fur that hadn't been washed in quite some time. He had a long prehensile tail and hands for feet, along with a tiny pink nose. The monkey relaxed outside his tree-mounted lab, basking in the nice, warm sun as he did so.
"This is so nice." Jam said with his hands behind his head, completely enjoying his time off of work. As he did so, a disembodied voice began to echo through his head.
"And so, the Canadian monkey relaxed outside his tree-mounted laboratory..." The strange disembodied voice prompted Jam to sit up.
"Who said that?!"
"It's me, professional actor and voice-over artist, Morgan Freeman." Stated the disembodied voice.
"Wait, why is a big time Hollywood actor narrating my life?" Asked the monkey.
"Haven't you seen the movie "Bruce Almighty"? I'm practically god, I can narrate over anything I want."
"Just stick to narrating penguins! I don't need some guy who played Dracula on a crappy live-action 70s Spider-Man show narrating my life!" Exclaimed Jam, right before crossing his arms.
Author's Note: Yes, this is something Morgan Freeman actually did. Look up "Electric Company Spider-Man".
"Can't I narrate monkeys too? I find every animal in nature to be equally interesting to talk about." Stated Morgan Freeman. The monkey scoffed, "Nope! Once a penguin narrator, always a penguin narrator. You can't go against nature!" Morgan Freeman's voice went quiet for a couple minutes as the godly voice gave it some thought.
"You're right, I should focus solely on narrating penguins." Stated Morgan Freeman.
"See? I knew I was right!" Replied the simian. "In fact, I've found a new penguin to narrate over." Morgan Freeman said in a mischievous tone-of-voice.
"That's great! Have fun with that!" Exclaimed Jam as he closed his eyes and laid down.
"The rare brown penguin, also known as the "Jamguin", opened its eyes and abruptly sat up..." Stated Morgan, prompting Jam to do as the voice said and open his eyes and sit up.
"I told you not to narrate me!" Shouted Jam.
"You said to narrate penguins, and that is exactly what I'm doing."
"I'm not a pen---" Before Jam could finish, he looked down. His monkey fur had been replaced with brown and tan-colored feathers. His snout was now a sharp pink beak with a bit of black on the end of it. His once-proud hand-feet were now a pair of pink bird talons, complete with sharp black claws.
Jam pulled his toes apart and noticed that his toes were now webbed, which felt rather odd to that monkey. It was like having an extra layer of skin stuck between your toes! His arms and hands had been replaced with a pair of rather stiff flippers, which were nowhere near as articulated as his previous appendages. On top of that, he now lacked fingers to scratch himself with or peel bananas!
His eyes had moved to the sides of his head, separating his vision down the middle. Jam's hair remained on his head, a reminder of the simian he used to be. His prehensile monkey tail had been replaced with a feathery tail designed to resemble his hairstyle. He also appeared to be standing on an iceberg, out in the middle of the tundra.
Jam took a few steps forward on his much tinier legs, finding it rather hard to move around with them. His stubby legs and stiff flippers forced him to "waddle" awkwardly to get anywhere. "I'm a penguin?!" Squawked the transformed Jam.
"Of course! You told me to go "narrate a penguin", so I made you a penguin that I may narrate over." Stated Morgan Freeman. "You can't do that!" Shouted Jam with a grumpy expression pasted across his beak.. "I'm Morgan Freeman, I can do whatever I want. Now, stop talking! Penguins don't talk, they produce squawks or sounds equatable to the braying of "donkeys"."
Jam tried to make a retort, but all that escaped his beak were the aforementioned "squawks" of a penguin. "That's better! And so, the Jamguin slid down the iceberg on his belly..." Morgan Freeman began to say. Morgan's words took hold of Jam, causing him to flop over onto his belly and slide down the iceberg. "...And into the frigid waters of the ocean below."
True to Morgan's words, Jam's strange new penguin body slid into the "cold" waters below. Jam found the water to not be cold at all, due to his new penguin physiology. While in the water, Jam gave into his new penguin instincts and began catching fish. His body was now under the control of both his penguin instincts and Morgan Freeman's words.
After eating his fish, the penguin-fied Jam returned to the iceberg. He was exhausted and waddled awkwardly back to the spot where he had originally woken up from. He laid back down and closed his eyes, hoping to reawaken back in his original form. He awoke later and opened his eyes, only to find that he was back home! He looked down and saw his monkey body once more and proceeded to give it a hug. "I'm back! I'm not a stupid penguin anymore!"
"I hope you learned a lesson, Jam."
"Learned a lesson about what?"
"About not telling people what to do and respecting narrators."
"Oh, shut up and go narrate a dung beetle!" Exclaimed Jam as he opened the door to his lab and entered inside, right before slamming it closed.
"A dung beetle, eh? I can work with that!" And so, Morgan Freeman continually punished Jam with new and sillier forms. Eventually, Jam did learn his lesson about respecting narrators, after about 50 different transformations. He also learned never to mess with Morgan Freeman, which is a lesson we could ALL take to heart!
