“That’s when they all noticed… that the shadows that were cast by the campfire… weren’t all their own!” Prospero leered ahead, the shadows currently rendered on his own face seemingly a lot darker than usual as he began the disturbing conclusion to his ghost story!
Valiant the Deer was smiling, shaking his head a bit as he roasted another marshmallow. Meanwhile, Ladon was shaking like a leaf that was rattling around in a freezer. Despite not wanting to hear anymore, his childish curiosity saw him leaning forward as Prospero ate up his reckless anticipation.
Prospero grinned wickedly from cheek to cheek before concluding, “However, it was too late. The mighty feral spirit of the forest was pissed that the idiotic tresspassers stepped foot on his land with their soiled feet. Apologies and explanations were out of the question! The shadows swirled around the three campers and one by one plucked them off their feet, demolishing their equipment and fiercely stretching them out until their bodies all SNAPPED!”
He bit down hard when he said that last word, making a terrible sound that sent the leaning forward Ladon reeling in fear backwards. “HEEEEEEP!” He squealed, falling off the log he sat on and flopping onto his back with his feet up.
Prospero laughed and pointed at the downed boy, “Oh wow. I didn’t expect it to be that effective. You’d best hurry and change your pants buddy.”
Ladon scrambled to his feet, a blush on his face and sweat pouring down his face. “N-No! I’m f-f-fine! You just caught me off guard… that’s all…” he said, cutely grabbing at his tail.
Valiant smiled and leaned over to look at the scared boy. “Hey. It’s alright. I’ve camped out here before. There’s no such thing as a Forest Gremlin.” He said this, sucking down another marshmallow. The camping set-up was a fairly standard one.
The three of them were doing moderately well on their own, having made it down the recommended trail for this sort of thing. They had a few troubling situations of course. Ladon almost fell off the high ground pathway on the trail towards the deep part of the woods. They also came across a group of fairly persistent girl scouts. None of them had any real interest in purchasing girl scout cookies and they let that be known. Prospero was particularly rough about it, trying to use the tale of the Forest Gremlin to scare them off.
When they reached their designated camp site, Ladon had asked Prospero for the details about this so-called Forest Gremlin. Valiant tried to assure him there was no such thing but Prospero had cut him off, saying that letting him believe otherwise would make for a fun time. Valiant eventually relented and to be honest, now that the story was over, he did find Ladon’s response to it to be a little adorable. However, he figured enough was enough. He couldn’t let his buddy be without a change of pants tomorrow after all.
“So, do you want to hear about what the Forest Gremlin did with the bodies?” Prospero continued. “One of them was so mangled that when they were found hanging from the trees the next day, their organs looked like dangling Christmas ornaments.”
“EEP!” Ladon shrieked.
Valiant laughed but clapped his hands. “That’s cute but I think that’s enough. We need to actually start heading to bed soon so that the hike out of here doesn’t take too long.” He explained, ears perking up when there was a sudden rustling in the woods.
Prospero was about to lay it on a little more thick when he heard the rustling as well. His eyes suddenly narrowed. Ladon was the last to catch on but then shrieked when the rustling got significantly louder!
He shot out of his seat and scurried over to Valiant. The deer was already one step ahead of him, having stood up and clenched his fists. “Not to worry. Whatever this is… it’s just a regular resident of the forest. Plus, we took this trail because it was safe. It can’t be anything that’s gonna harm you…”
Prospero examined the darkness, having not taken what Valiant had said to heart at all. He stood up last and took a minor step forward… before jolting back when the shadowy figure obstructed by the bushes made its presence known and shot in between their campsite.
“AAAAH! FOREST GREMLIN!” Ladon screamed, backing away from the creature with his fists up and Valiant, putting his arm out to keep Ladon behind him.
Valiant looked the small creature over. He couldn’t see it very well due to it being on all fours and it’s face looking particularly mangled and weird. It seemed to be some kind of living being but putting a recognizable face to it was shockingly hard to do. It made him sweat.
Still, he held his fists up, choosing to stand his ground. “Alright… wh-whatever you are. Back off.” Valiant said, stepping forward. “Forest Gremlin or not, you’re not getting the drop on us and coming out on top!”
He charged and went to try and knock it back but the creature slid to the side and stuck it’s leg out, catching Valiant off guard! He screamed as he fell forward and bashed his nose against the log! Instantly he whined and grabbed at his face, wiggling his butt out as he grunted against the grass.
When he stood up, however, he found that his pants didn’t exactly come with him. He knew this when he felt the breeze suddenly waft by his legs! Valiant blushed and looked down, noticing that the Gremlin had pantsed him as he stood up.
“D-Don’t look guys!” Valiant grimaced and tried to kick it away but began stumbling about like an idiot with his pants acting like some sort of leg vice.
It didn’t matter anyway. The next thing that happened shocked him into a state of pain so bad it practically froze him. The Gremlin grabbed the back of his undies and yanked them up so hard and fast, it sent a tremendous jolt of pain through his body. “HEEEEEEUUUGGGHHH!”
His eyes crossed and his teeth clenched as the wedgie got deeper and eventually the pain was torturously bad to the point of needing medical attention. Despite this, he stood there with an embarrassed, blushing look of pain as his vision was clouded by stars. He wobbled about with his stretched out Blues Clues briefs hooked over his antlers in an atomic wedgie the likes of which he’d never experienced before!
Prospero gasped when the creature turned to him next. Ladon was shaking where he stood, mouth agape at what he had just witnessed happen to Valiant. Prospero wasn’t one to take a situation like this lying down either, though he was a lot more practical about stuff like this than Valiant was.
“E-Excuse me, Mr. Forest Gremlin!” He began, finger raised as he took to stepping back and maneuvering around the campsite. He was backing himself up towards the tree that was behind them originally but he kept his wits about him. “I’m certain there must be a reason behind this most impressive and might I say, shockingly thematically appropriate attack but I assure you that whatever it is, we mean you no harm.”
The creature tilted it’s head as if trying to figure out whether or not it wanted to continue listening to Prospero or not.
Prospero took that as a sign that he was getting somewhere and couldn’t help but smirk a little. While Valiant was stumbling around in an atomic wedgie, muttering nonsense and drooling due to the pain cutting off air to his brain and making him a little derpy, Prospero had done the smart guy thing and was attempting to talk it down.
“If you’d like proof of our ethicacy, allow me to offer a present to show my neutrality.” Prospero smirked and took off his sweater, holding it out. “See? It’s made of a fairly soft material that doesn’t darken easily in the wash. It’s resilience when it comes to the elements is fairly impressive as well. You should be able to wear it without any problems.”
The Gremlin stared up at Prospero, now sitting like a dog… then it lurched forward and snagged the sweater from him, surprising the cockatoo a bit.
“Ah. So you like it?” Prospero sounded hopeful. “Well, good. I’m glad we could resolve this like mature ad--?” He began before it stood up and tossed the sweater around his body like a lasso. He looked about, momentarily confused before the sweater was pulled in a manner that spun him around like a top!
“AIEEEEEEEEE~!” Prospero screamed as he was spun relentlessly. He stopped eventually and wobbled about, eyes rolling and his body swaying every which way. He was about to fall over on his own but that happened anyway when the Gremlin pushed him down and yanked his pants down!
“AH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He screamed, clawing at the grass and hating how his Japanese sakura briefs were showing off now.
The Gremlin said nothing and yanked his pants all the way off, tossing them to the side. With no grip on him, Prospero attempted to crawl away but found the back end of his briefs being grabbed. He shrieked as he was pulled back to the creature and belted out an even higher octave scream when his underwear was wedgied up his butt.
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!” Prospero’s scream was so loud and pained that it almost made the doubling back Ladon faint on the spot. The gecko’s eyes were glued to the scene just like they had been for the ghost story though. He couldn’t take his eyes off of a disaster, no matter how much he wanted to run.
Prospero was dragged along the dirt towards the tree where his underwear was yanked on again. He was suspended with intense force and practically tossed towards the branch. His head hit it as he descended but he didn’t land on the ground due to the waistband of his briefs snagging onto said branch before he could.
“HURK!” Prospero gasped and his tongue flopped out. His eyes began crossing as the pain sunk in deeper due to the hanging wedgie he found himself in. It wasn’t exactly a bunch of organs being strung about a tree but it hurt quite a whole lot despite that.
There was no time to stand around and question whether or not this was a merciful punishment though. It was Ladon’s turn to gasp when the creature spun around to face him. He took a few steps back as it approached him slowly.
Then, when he realized it wasn’t going to be merciful, he turned tail to run. “HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US!” He screamed before being tackled from behind!
A fight cloud ensued… only it was an extremely one-sided one. Limbs, fists, and feet were being flung about inside it but the only time Ladon’s appendages were it was when he was getting hit and battered about.
Eventually his pants flew out of the fight cloud and it dissipated, leaving the scared gecko on the ground, groaning in his Thomas the Tank Engine briefs. He tried to crawl away but the gremlin reached down at both the sides of his body and yanked him into a standing position.
“Wh-What’s going on? A-Are you going to leave me alone NAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!” Ladon screeched when that didn’t happen. Instead, both the sides of his briefs were hiked up his body in a powerful Melvin wedgie. It was the kind of wedgie reserved special for scared little nerds like him.
Ladon teared up, gasping out loud as he reached both hands down to cup his crotch and nurse the pain away as best he could. He was going a bit crazy himself, trying to stave off the derpiness that was inflicting him due to how horrible the wedgie was.
All three of them looked ridiculous. Valiant was still stumbling around beside the frozen and embarrassed Ladon while Prospero hung from the tree behind the two by his underwear, tongue out, and looking like a true dummy.
The Forest Gremlin giggled before sauntering it’s way back into the bushes. Then, under the cover of the mass of leaves, it whipped something out from behind it’s back.
It was a smartphone.
That’s when the so-called Gremlin removed the face covering it was wearing, confirming that Valiant’s suspicions on whether or not it’s face was the genuine article was true. It was a mask the entire time and underneath it was a small kitty cat girl. She shook off the leaves around her waist that was put there to help sell the look of a feral beast and began snapping photos of the three losers.
While she stayed kneeled there, two others rushed up beside her, smirking and bouncing with anticipation.
“Did you get them?” One of them asked.
“Yup!” The girl who dressed as the gremlin responded before showing her two friends the pictures. “It’s all here, ready for the scrapbook.”
“Cool! Maybe we could use these pics for an art project too. Maybe have it put on one of the signs we have when we’re selling more cookies.” The second girl beside her stated.
“It’ll be hard linking this picture back to girl scout cookies though.” The main girl said before chuckling and snapping her fingers. “We’ll just say we’re raising money to help out idiots like them. I’m sure someone will believe there's a plague going around that makes people act all loopy and want to give themselves a bunch of wedgies.”
That was the start of a girl scout cookies ad campaign set up by some passing girl scouts. It wasn’t anything huge but they felt it only fair to get something out of their little escapade in the woods.
The lesson here is to never turn down a scout when they demand you pay for their cookies. If you do, you’ll get wedgied mercilessly by the forest gremlin too.
As for these three… they didn’t exactly sleep soundly that night. Needless to say, they all stayed wide awake that night, wondering if their poor behinds were going to be wedgie fodder for the mysterious gremlin yet again.
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