Ms. Spirit is planning to go out on a hunt during Christmas, she will look around town for those who have the best Christmas spirit and take some of their blood, according to her, the most cheerful and happy they are, the better they taste.
Oh, but don’t you worry, Vampires might be really strong, fast and all of that, but they are not invincible… No, we are no longer in the medieval ages; they now have some drugs that allow them to be under the sun…. No! Garlic doesn’t harm them… Alright, let me explain, you can harm them with silver or with any type of burning damage, other than that and they will most likely regenerate any type of damage they receive.
Oh jeez, no, please don’t kill her! She is a good person, she never actually killed anyone in her “hunts”, she only takes some blood out of them and leaves them unconscious, her victims are left with no serious damage whatsoever, so there is no need to go over to such drastic options with her.
What do we do about her? Well, you see… I actually know some ways to deal with her, the first one, and it might sound a bit absurd, are cranberry cookies… No, I am not kidding, she is known to spare people if they gift her cranberry cookies, she likes them a lot for some reason… The other one is that the moon of December makes all wolves in general more, uh… Docile, so you can actually take your chances and try to tame her, throw her a tennis ball to fetch, try to pet her in the head or something, you might actually be able to force her rational mind to sleep for a while and turn her into a loyal wolf, although I wouldn’t recommend this as much, because there is a high chance that it will fail and you would only make her angry... Then there is Waltz music, works as well as the cookies, although she will not spare you just for playing some music, thing is, she likes Waltz a lot and it will actually distract her for a while, she will stop whatever it is she is doing to dance for some minutes, giving you some time to escape…
How do I know this? Well, let’s just say I forced her boyfriend to tell me all of that, and guess what else I forced him to say…. Yes, she hates being tickled; she is really ticklish, really sensitive to the soft touch of say… Some blue feathers like the ones I have.
No, let’s not involve the authorities, we can do justice by our own hand here, nothing harmful though, in fact, she will love it! Or at least learn to love it … All she needs is some time in a prison cell to think, Vampires nowadays get synthetic blood so they don’t need to go around biting people anymore.
Oh, but just being in a padded cell is not going to do it, we also need to make sure she has some fun! I have some machines that will give her pleasure, others that will tickle her until she passes out; there are some straight jackets ready for her as well! Oh but I don’t want to spoil all the surprises I have in store for her, think of it as a Christmas gift! Yeah, gifts that will last all year long and maybe even more.
Yes, you don’t have to say it, I know she might be really strong, but even though she can break iron restraints, she can’t break silver, if a Vampire or a Werewolf touches silver, it will drain their energy, it will not kill them, but it will keep them in a constant state of tiredness until they stop touching the silver.
Now, how about we go out and look for her? Let’s bring her and her Werewolf boyfriend in; we will have so much fun together!
Why am I doing this? Oh, please don’t ask again sweetie, or I might have to take you in as well!
