It was just another normal day in the mostly peaceful town of Gold Springs. The townsfolk were cheery, horse carriages were packed with passengers and rolling across the dirt roads and the sun bore down a mighty heat wave. Yup, a completely normal day, for the moment. Things never tended to stay peaceful for long in this town and what peace is had was hard fought for by the sheriff of the town, Sheriff Texas Stanton.
A weasel with a heart of gold and the seeing eyes of an eagle. Her loyalty to Gold Springs was unmatched and her nerves were steeled for the most intense of brawls whether it be the large and in charge Deputy Georgia or the rabbit menace Jacks and her bandit gang, Texas was never one to back down from a fight, especially in the name of justice. She'd fight to her last breath using her trusty lasso, revolver or even her bare fists to bring criminals down.
Yup, just a normal day. "HEY, GET BACK HERE YA THIEF!" a citizen cried out. Texas turned to where she heard the screaming, fixed her hat in place and hustled over. She noticed a wolf lady, who was a local jeweler, standing in frustration outside her shop and walked up to her. "What seems ta be the problem madame?" Texas asked. The wolf turned to the sheriff with angry eyes, "That bloody fox twat just done stole me most prized diamond!" she yelled out. Texas looked down the road and spotted a gray fox carrying a sack over her shoulder and wearing a teal colored cloak. "I'll handle it madame." Texas spoke confidently and trotted over to the fox.
"Ay you!" Texas called out. "You there wit tha sack. Where doya think yur goin with that diamond?" No response from the fox. Texas spoke louder, "Hey i'm talkin to you ya hear me?" Still, no response or even a reaction from the fox. Now the sheriff was feeling a tad upset. She ran ahead of the fox and stopped right in front of her. "Ya deaf or somethin' lady?" Texas asked rhetorically. The fox stared uninterested at the weasel in front of her.
"And what might I help you with, floozy?" the fox spoke. Texas raised an eyebrow, "Floozy? Now listen here ya varmint. What do ya have in the sack?" the sheriff questioned. The fox pulled her sack forward, "You mean this sack here? Well it's quite the treat." She stated, reaching into the bag and pulling out a massive diamond. "I just helped myself to this beautiful specimen you see before you. Something fit for a queen such as I, don't you think?" Texas shook her head try to shake off the stupidity she had just heard, "Look madame, queen or no we PAY for things in this town." the weasel informed the fox. "Ya can't just take things without payin' for 'em. Yur gonna have to pay for dat there diamond or return it."
The fox rolled her eyes, "CLEARLY you have no idea of who I am. You see, I am known as the great Queen Zoey." the fox preached. "I rule over a kingdom far from here and I have traveled to your dusty little town to come into possession of this dashing diamond. As queen, I am granted to claim whatever I please." Sheriff Texas couldn't believe what insane remarks this "Zoey" woman was making. Queen? Get whatever she wants? Sounded like she was a spoiled brat to her. She reached over and grabbed her lasso over her belt, "Now imma have to place ya under arrest for robbery now." Texas announced. Zoey guffawed, "Oh, I don't think you'll get the chance, weasel girl." Texas reached over to bind the fox's hands together when she felt the ground vibrate violently, followed by a thunderous footstep.
Texas froze in place as she she heard the sound of tremendous footsteps behind her made by the earth shaking vibrations. Just as it sounded as if whatever beast was behind her was about it step over her or onto her, the footsteps stopped. What the hell was it? She noticed the proclaimed 'Queen' Zoey change her demeanor to one of despair and desperation, "Oh Pancake!" Zoey whined. "Thank goodness you came!" The queen ran right past her and Texas slowly turned around to see who Pancake was.
Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she looked up to see a real living Tyrannosaurus Rex standing right in front of her. A massive brown feathered beast with bright magenta colored eyes, and he seemed like his tail was wagging with joy much like a dog. Below him was the 'Queen' who was hugging his left leg. She raised an arm and pointed directly at the sheriff, "This horrible wicked woman tried to hurt me so!" Zoey cried out. The t-rex's eyes narrowed in Texas' direction and seemed like he was seeing red with fury. Pancake's teeth bare and a low growl escaped his throat. 'This was bad.' Texas thought to herself. What in the hell was she going to do against a gosh damned t-rex?
Pancake shifted a bit as he raised a foot over the sheriff that dwarfed her in size. Snapping out of her stupor, Texas dove out of the way as the giant foot came crashing down. She dropped into a somersault, losing her lasso in the process, and came to a halt a good few yards away. Pancake turned and again glared at Texas and moved his body in her direction. The sheriff quickly drew her revolver and popped off a few shots at the rex's head. Pancake roared as the bullets meagerly ricocheted off his hard head and stomped over to the weasel and attempted to stomp on her again. Sheriff Texas responded with a series of backflips to get some more distance, all the meanwhile Zoey stood in the back cheering the dinosaur on.
"That's it Pancake, squash that floozy of a weasel!" and the t-rex persisted. Each stomp Texas was able to narrowly avoid, but she couldn't dodge forever. After the last stomp, Texas noticed Pancake begin to twist his body back and swing his leg around to try and kick her. Texas dropped to the ground to dodge the foot just in time, however she was left in a vulnerable position. Pancake immediately capitalized on the weasel's predicament and finally dropped a foot on top of her.
Zoey was overwhelmed with joy seeing the meddlesome weasel get her due. Several tons of weight rested upon the sheriff as she was promptly squashed flat as can be. Some twists and grinds ironed out any potential 3-d part she had left. The foot came back up and an overwhelming pain washed over Texas' entire body that blurred her vision. All she could do was groan in agony as she lied flat on the dirt road. The foot of the t-rex returned, slamming back on top of her with an almighty stomp. More grinds and twists ensued as the sole of the dino fixed itself on top of the pancaked sheriff. Once more the foot came up and the overwhelming pain returned.
"Ohohohohoho!" a wicked laugh rang in the sheriff's ears as Zoey stepped into view, "Don't you see dear sheriff." she spoke, "I get whatever I want, when I want and i'm not going to have a little pest like you telling me what I can and can't do." The queen turned and whistled a small tune in the t-rex's direction. "And you will soon regret it." Zoey pointed at the sheriff again, "Sit boy!" Texas could only watch in horror as Pancake's titanic rear end sat down on top of her.
An awful stench seeped out of the beast's crack and stung Texas' senses. While the smell was bad, the weight was unbearable. It felt as if she was somehow being pressed flatter and the pain that followed was immense. All this was made worse by what came next. At the sound of some low grumbling, Pancake ground his ass down before pushing out an obnoxious: *PHHRRRRBBBBBPT!* A horrendous smelling gas spewed in the sheriff's face as the t-rex fart blasted her with a foul odor. Internally, Texas gagged in disgust. The fart was sour and fishy and burnt her eyes till they wept. Even the likes of Roxxie Roo and her pet horse Butterscotch, or Smiling Jacks and her gang couldn't produce a smell this toxic. The stench wafted into the sheriff's system, almost drugging her with its sulfur. *BRRRRRBLLLLLRRP!* A second fart was enough to seal the deal as Texas' consciousness drifted away as a third thunder bludgeon pelted her.
Texas slowly woke up groggy, a deep sore pain was all she felt over her entire body. She let out a groan of pain and tried to sit up. Texas was held in place by what felt like a metal brace around her neck. She tried moving her body around only to find she was completely bound. Her head was surrounded by a bright red cushion and rested facing straight up. "Ah, good to see you're awake." a familiar voice said. "Dang it Zoey, you lemme outta these binds right this instant ya hear!" Texas demanded, gritting her teeth and fighting against the chains. "I don't think so Ms. Stanton." Zoey replied. "After my darling pet Pancake flattened you flat as, well, a Pancake, I decided to bring you back to my kingdom to serve your new duties." The sheriff scoffed, "Mah only duty is protectin' mah town, Ma'am." Zoey chuckled at her response, "Not any more it's not. I've promoted you to 'royal cushion duties.'" The gray ass of Zoey soon came into view in all its naked glory, "You and my regal posterior are going to be very well acquainted." Just as Zoey was about to sit down, she was interrupted by a guard calling her.
"Your majesty, your majesty!" the voice called out. "Yes, what is it guard I am in the middle of some important business." Zoey snapped. "We've got a fox lady at the gates claiming to be a friend of the so-called "Sheriff Texas". Texas instantly knew who they were describing, "April..." Zoey turned to look at Texas, "Hmm? A friend of yours?" she questioned. Texas bit her lip. Dang it Tex, ya just had to open yur big trap didn't ya? "Guards, seize the so-called "April" and bring her to me, I believe I have some business to tend to with her as well." Texas trembled as the bubble butt of Zoey laid over her face and smothered her in its pudgy flesh of which her deputy would undoubtedly soon experience.