Started: 2-25-12, 11:25PM
Finished: 3-25-12, 12:00AM
Wild
By Tooie Kangaroo
1 - “Chicken”
Scrit and Scrap were known for their antics. Not that it was an unusual thing to see a squirrel or two dashing across the street. But these two had made a game out of it.
“You’re gonna get yourselves killed,” the old squirrel would say. Mr. Acorn was always just there to annoy them. They never listened to him though.
Scrit was on his mark and awaiting the next vehicle. “I think I see one coming!”
Scrap was on the opposite side of the street. He could see the sedan on its way. “Yep!” shouted the friend. “It’s heading your way a little faster than the other ones! Better not screw it up!”
“I’m ready! I’m ready!” the eager squirrel shouted in return. He had only done this a few time. He wanted to be like one of the all time greatest chicken dashers, like the great Chipper Scram Scram the Third. Some even said that the famous squirrel had moved up to the four- and five-lane highways.
As the sedan was nearly about to fly on past, Scrit bolted across the street. The driver slammed on the brakes and turned sharply to the left. Scrit could actually feel the car passing just behind him as he jumped up onto the other side of the street. He screamed, “What a rush!” Scrap took him by the paws and the two danced in a circle to celebrate the close call.
Mr. Acorn scurried up to the two idiots. He gruffly cleared his throat and said, “It almost ran him straight over! Are you both out of your minds?!”
The two younger squirrels blew a raspberry at him. Scrap said, “You have no idea what it’s like to have fun.”
Mr. Acorn replied, “I know what its like to grow old. If you two keep this up, that’s one thing you’ll never get to see.”
Scrit was not really interested in what he had to say. “I heard that one time a squirrel got one of them cars to go right off the road. If that happens to me, I’ll be famous!”
The old squirrel sighed and shook his head. As he returned to his tree, he was reminded of the time that he did silly things like that. What on earth was he thinking?
Scrap got prepared for his turn. A blue-colored minivan was coming down the road pretty fast. “You got to time it just right for these big ones. If just one tire hits, it’s all over.”
“Are you scared?” asked the newcomer.
“Nah. I do this all the time. You keep practicing, and you’ll be just as cool as me.”
“I wanna be cool,” said Scrit with a face that oozed a lust for fame.
At just the last moment, Scrap dashed out into the street. The minivan made no attempt to stop like the sedan; however, the squirrel still made it to the other side in one piece. He shouted, “Piece of cake!”
Scrit excitedly took his mark. “I’m not gonna be afraid! I’m gonna be the best!”
“That’s the spirit! And here comes one now!”
Scrit hopped up and down out of pure excitement. The truck was moving pretty fast. How cool would it be if he could get it to plow right into one of the houses? That would be hilarious!
Trying to time it just right, Scrit dashed back out into the street; however, he suddenly stopped half way and fell onto his belly. The truck passed on by.
Scrap covered his mouth in shock. Scrit peered up at his friend and asked, “Why did I stop?”
Scrap pointed. “Your tail! Look at your tail?”
Scrit looked back. His tail was completely flattened into the pavement. He was just in too much shock to feel it. He whined, “I can’t move! I’m stuck to the road! Scrap, come help me!”
“I can’t! There’s another one coming!”
“But I can’t move! Scrap!”
“I can’t!”
“Scrap!”
Scrap covered his eyes and heard the resulting thump, thump of a car running over his friend. After taking a peek through his fingers, it was now painfully evident that his friend had been smashed into the asphalt.
He took a moment and just gawked at the scene. The poor kid; he just wanted to be famous. However, after a few moments, the squirrel suddenly asked himself, “Now, who the heck am I gonna play with?!”
2 – “Trash”
It was dark, but that was pretty normal. As a general rule, kitchens were generally very dark at three o’clock in the morning. Ned and Sara had to be quiet. Raccoons were never welcome in places like these.
Ned peeked around the corner and then looked back at his wife. “I think everyone’s still asleep. Looks like that little window-slamming incident didn’t draw any attention, dear.”
Sara blushed. “Come on, that could have happen to anybody.”
“You see, this is why I never bring you anywhere.”
“But Ned, we never go out anymore. I’m starting to worry about our relationship. I mean… a dumpster here and there is one thing, but I just wanted to go somewhere special for our anniversary.”
Ned sighed. She had a point. Still, it did not take a lot of coordination to open a dumpster, and that was something she never really had. But it had always been her flaws that made her so endearing. He hugged her and said, “Baby, don’t worry. Tonight, we are gonna have a special dinner, just you and me. I’m talking about the most high-class cuisine in the entire town.”
Her eyes lighted up with joy. “You mean it?”
“Yeah, and it’s all for you.”
“Where is it?”
He cracked a devilish smile and signaled over to one of the cabinets. “I bet you never saw a trash bin inside of a cabinet before.” He opened the door to show her. True enough, there it was.
Sara was amazed. “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that.”
“See, these humans are so wealthy that they even store their garbage in high-class surroundings. Check it out: the bag is even scented.” Both raccoons sniffed the air and breathed out a sigh of lemon-scented bliss.
Sara blushed. “Oh, Ned. This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. I hope it never ends.”
“It hasn’t even started yet. Ready to dig in?”
“You bet.”
Both raccoons grabbed the top of the bin and tipped it over onto the floor of the kitchen. An array of discarded foodstuffs poured out from inside. The raccoons wasted no time in crawling into the overturned container and eating whatever they could find.
Sara was slurping at the inside of a peanut butter jar, which also had some discarded Chinese food in it. “This is amazing; it tastes so fresh.”
Ned was busy trying to stick his head into a potato chip bag. There were some old beans and hotdog bits inside. “Only the best for you, my dear.”
Sara popped her head out of the jar and contentedly chewed on the hardened, fried chicken bits. “Honey, that baggy thing is making a lot of noise.”
“But it’s full of such wonderful things!”
“More wonderful than me?”
Ned pulled the bag from off of his head. His face just as messy as her’s. “Nothing could be more wonderful than you.”
The lights suddenly came on. Both raccoons looked up from there yummy treats to see a human woman scream at the top of her lungs. Both raccoons made a dash for the window, but the floor was too slippery from the spillage. They all just randomly slid around in a complete lack of coordination. The mess was only being spread around even more by their failed escape plan.
Suddenly, the man of the house arrived with the mother of all raccoon-dispensing weapons: a broom. Smack after smack, the raccoons were pelted by the horrible tool. The two of them finally made their way back to the window and crawled out into the yard.
After being sure they were safe, the husband and wife held each other while panting heavily from the excitement. Ned finally asked, “So, was it everything you hoped it would be?”
She giggled and kissed him on the lips. “Of course, it was. Everywhere is heaven, as long as I’m with you.” The two hugged and ran home to sleep for the rest of the night.
3 – “The Other Bird”
Ryan had always been a proud cardinal. Every day, he would wake up, fly off to the most prominent of trees, and perch upon it for all to see. And why not? There were few who could compare to his pretty-bird looks.
Of course, that is how he would have liked it to go. The reality was that this ritual was commonly thwarted by the appearance of his double. Ryan tried not to be jealous. Such a display could prove most unbecoming of the pretty bird, but it was obvious that more action would have to be taken.
“I see you over there,” said the cardinal. “You think that mocking me by copying my every move will make you great. Pshaw. Such actions will benefit you not.”
The other bird had spent the entire conversation mimicking every beak movement, every mannerism, and every bit of Ryan’s beautiful posture. It could almost be considered a crime to do such a thing. Well, at the very least, it should be a crime.
“Am I really that much of a joke to you? Is it really not a waste of your time to perch in front of me and display such a crude mockery of myself?” Seeing the other bird still mimic his every movement, the cardinal ruffled his feathers and turned about. “I will ignore you. After all, I am the better of the two of us.”
It seemed like the perfect plan. Just turn around, and Ryan would not have to deal with the annoying reprobate anymore. For a while, the cardinal was content. Now that he did not have to worry about the annoyance, he would proudly tweet so that the others would know of his majestic presence. This worked for a while, at least.
Regardless of his denial, Ryan would occasionally glimpse the other bird out of the corner of his eye. So what if he could not see him; the cardinal still knew that he was there. And what of his grand assortment of admirers? They would see the mockery even if he could not. The conditions were simply unacceptable.
One day, the cardinal looked behind him. There was the other bird. He was still mocking his every move. Anger began to fill Ryan’s heart. With this bird constantly sitting behind him, he would still be considered a joke to the passersby. Slowly, he turned around on the branch and angrily stared at the bird.
“Your joke has gone on long enough. I expect you to leave immediately.” The bird still mocked him. “Are you deaf?! I said I wish for you to leave this instant!” The bird still mocked. “If you persist in constantly making a joke out of everything I hold dear, then I will be forced to attack!” The other bird never stopped.
“I have a very important routine! Regardless of how you feel about me, I am the most majestic creature in this part of town! To be mocked by something no more than a… a second-rate is more aggravating than I can imagine! So, I ask you to desist!” The other bird still persisted.
Ryan glared into the other bird’s eyes. Those eyes were just as angry as his own. Something like that could not be faked. “So! It all comes out! Jealousy! Just petty Jealousy! And for this, you have come here, day after day, just to make my life miserable! I have had enough of you! I have absolutely had enough of you and your incessant ridicule! Do you want a fight?! Do you really desire to do battle with me?!”
The expression on the other bird was clear. As Ryan reared himself ready to strike, so did the enemy. “Have at you then!”
Ryan leapt off of the branch and darted directly towards the other bird who did the exact same thing. Their beaks struck and both flew away to go for another pass. Ryan cried, “I hate you! I hate you with every fiber of my being! I wanted to be beautiful, but because of you, I am just a joke!”
Once again, the two beaks collided. Ryan flew away to a farther branch. He glowered at the other bird with so much hate. With everything he could muster, he screamed at the enemy, “Enough with these games! No more mocking! No more injustice! I am going to kill you! I am going to kill you for ruining my life!”
And with that, Ryan sprung from the branch, flew up into the air as high as he could, and then darted downward towards the offending bird. He flew with such swiftness that he was sure to destroy him in one fell swoop. When the moment finally came, Ryan heard a loud crunch and everything went dark. He had broken his neck on the window.
4 – “Family”
Timmy the coyote hung his head down low as he moped right into the den. Peter, the boy’s father, took notice of his sulking kid. The boy tripped over a pile of bones and just laid flat upon the floor. This was followed by a very sorrowful sigh.
Obviously concerned for his son’s well-being, the father asked, “Is there something wrong, Son?”
The boy sighed again as if trying to gain even more attention. “Oh, it’s nothing, Pop.”
Peter trotted over to his son and helped the boy to his feet with a well-placed bite to his scruff. “Now, what did I say about keeping secrets? Tell your old man what the problem is.”
The little coyote rubbed his nose with his leg and said, “It’s Billy from the other valley, Pop. Told me I was good for nothin’. Can’t even catch an ol’ jackrabbit.”
Peter chuckled. “Is that all, son? That’s nothing to worry your little head over!” The father ruffled up the boy’s head fur. “I’ve seen you catch plenty jackrabbits!”
“But Billy doesn’t know that! I bet he’s been telling all the other guys… and maybe even the girls. None of ‘em are gonna like me anymore.”
Kate trotted from deeper inside the den. “Honey, I got dinner all trussed up in there…” She gasped when she saw her son. “Timmy! You look awful! Are you sick?!”
Peter blocked her from getting to him. “Now, now, dear, the boy is just having problems with his friend. I’m pretty sure this is a matter his father can help him with.”
“What kind of problems? They aren’t biting him, are they?”
“Oh, I don’t think so, dear.”
Timmy peeked around to see her. “Well, actually he did nip at me a little. He looked like he was gonna do more, so I ran away.”
Kate forced her way past Peter and checked him over. Peter grumbled, but he knew that there was little he could do to stop her now that a potential injury was involved. The mother said, “You do have a few “boo-boos” on your bottom, dear.” She licked at them.
Once more, Timmy let out a sorrowful sigh. “What do I do? Catch a jackrabbit in front of him?”
Peter sat down on his haunches and replied, “Things like these tend to cycle out of control, son. You need to stand up to him or you’ll always be afraid. Who knows, he might get some of the other boys in on it. Then where will you be?”
“But gee willikers, Pop, Billy’s so much bigger than me!”
Kate cocked her head. “Big-nosed Billy? Dear, he’s just as small as you are.”
Peter concurred, “Yes, dear, I was just getting to that. He’s just putting on a big front. But I’ll tell you a secret, Son. He has one major weakness.”
Timmy asked, “What’s that, Pop?”
“He’s not my son. You can take him any day.”
“You want me to take him?”
Peter smiled proudly. “Well, naturally I expect you to kill him. Just give him a good hard bite to the neck. After a few jerks, he’ll go right to sleep.”
Timmy looked up to his mother. “Mom, do you think I should do it?”
She sighed and nodded. “Your father is right, honey. You should go out there and break his neck. At the very least, the other coyotes will respect you for it. Just try not to track too much blood in the den when you come back. I just cleaned.
Timmy hopped into the air with newfound courage. “That’s what I’ll do! I’ll kill him, and he won’t be makin’ fun of me no more!”
Peter chuckled. “Go get him, sport!”
Timmy darted out of the den to take care of business. Peter stood next to his wife and let out a happy sigh. “There he goes, dear.”
She nodded as a little tear rolled down her furry cheek. “Our boy is growing up.”
Peter quickly snapped out of it and asked, “So, what’s for dinner?!”
She giggled and walked towards the back. “I think his name is Robert.”
“Sounds delicious, dear.”
5 – “Motherhood”
It was something that you could almost always find on a mid-Monday afternoon. Mothers from all around would gather near the golf course in Alice Springs, and every last one of them were kangaroos. Of course, their sons were there too.
As usual, Maggie was the center of attention. Her boy was proudly propped up in her pouch and seemed happy to just peer about at all the onlookers. The mother was the big talker of the bunch. “I’m not bragging when I say that Ricky here is no stranger to fame. Wins just about every contest he enters and puts those other boys to shame.”
Surprisingly, the other mothers were not terribly bothered by the outright swanking. Not that she was enjoyable by any means, but Maggie was the one who started this whole thing. She was given a lot of leniency, for this reason.
Jamie decided to throw in a compliment just to keep her from getting testy. “He’s growing up real fast. The little joeys gonna leave the nest soon enough.” Everyone present was a little surprised to see a look of horror in the boy’s eyes.
Maggie rubbed Ricky’s head to calm him down. “What’s all this talk about leaving? You’ll scare the poor boy. Ricky’s just a babe. Cut him some slack, girls.”
Gertrude, one of the tubbier of the bunch, took the chance to speak up, “Now, Maggie, you have to let go eventually. All our boys are out playing. Why just recently, my little Beckley kicked one of them golfers right into the drink. Never saw it coming! He’s a real kicker, he is! Can your boy kick, Maggie?”
Maggie huffed. “I don’t see how kicking any human proves anything! My boy has sensitive feet!” Ricky backed up his mother by nodding profusely.
Jamie rolled her eyes. “Sensitive feet have nothing to do with it, Maggie. You’ll smother the poor boy if you’re not careful! I mean just look over there at Julie Sue.”
Of course, everyone looked. Julie Sue was one of those mothers who was hard not to look at. She was getting on in years and she had let her body blow up to some degree. But the worst thing about it was that her son, who could no longer be consider a child, was hanging half way in and halfway out of her pouch. It was one of the most awkward arrangements that anyone had ever seen.
As everyone expected, Maggie was out rightly insulted. “What makes you think anything of the sort would happen to me?”
Gertrude answered, “Face it, Mag, poor Ricky is gonna just keep growing up and never move out of your pouch. And don’t you be blaming his sensitive feet when it happens!”
Maggie covered her boy’s ears. “Stop talking like that; you’ll traumatize him!”
Jamie huffed. “Come on, Maggie. Why don’t you just let him out for a bit? Let him get to know the other boys.”
Gertrude agreed, “Yeah, Mag, just let him play outside of your darned pouch for a change. Get him some grass between his toes!”
Maggie was usually the most stubborn of the bunch, but she was not used to being backed into a corner like that. She turned to look at Julie Sue again, which only made her shutter. Even she figured that kid needed to get a life. The kangaroo grumbled and guided her son’s head up to look at her. “Okay, baby, these girls won’t leave me alone. How you feel about hopping around with the other boys?”
Ricky was not really sure what to think about that. He was so used to spending time with his mom, but then again, the thought of playing with other boys did sound fun. He decided to meet her halfway. “Can you come watch me?”
Maggie smiled brightly at that response. “Of course, I can!” As she hopped away, she said, “Now, don’t do anything too rough with them. Oh, and don’t kick anything. Don’t run too fast either. Come to think of it, maybe we should just watch them play rather than join in.”
Jamie winced as they hopped away. Gertrude grumbled, “If she keeps this up, she’s gonna need a bigger pouch.” Everyone nodded in agreement.
6 – “The Bad Boy”
The flock of females was in a tizzy over the new boy duck that had been seen near Gallow Lake. Serena fluttered as she told the other girls about him. “Oh, I’m not joking about this at all! They say his name is Tucker, and he waits around Gallow Lake, all handsome and stuff. When a girl comes by, he calls you over, and who knows what happens then!”
Mary giggled. “His name is Tucker? That’s so cute! Where did he fly from?”
“Nobody knows, but I hear he’s one of those bad boys. You know the type: quiet, handsome, takes what he wants. I almost drop eggs just thinking about him!”
The flock giggled so loudly that it could be heard for quite a distance. Mary was the worst of it. She was normally the shy type, but this mysterious duck from Gallow Lake had really overtaken her thoughts. She asked, “Have you seen him? Is he still there?”
Serena quacked, “Oh, I’m sure he is, but between you and me, I don’t think I have the guts. Only a few girls I know have been there, and well, they never wanted to leave is all I can say! That boy has charm beyond reason! It’s almost scary!”
“He sounds so dreamy!”
“Come on, Mary! You know you wanna go see him so bad!”
Mary blushed. She really did, but like Serena, she was scared of what the bad boy was like. Did that mean that he was not nice, or was it just a euphemism for being dirty? She was not sure but really wanted to know. “I gotta go. I’ll see you girls later!”
All the girls giggled, especially Serena, as she flew away. “Face it, Mary! You won’t know unless you go see him!”
Mother was less understanding. “I absolutely forbid you from seeing that duck!”
Mary huffed. “But Mother!”
“No ‘buts!’ I’ve been hearing some pretty strange things about this Tucker fellow. Women seem to have been disappearing lately. I don’t want you going over there!”
“Mother, this isn’t fair! You can’t keep controlling me like this! I’m not a duckling anymore!”
“I’m only telling you this because I care about you! Stay away from Gallow Lake!”
Mary lowered her head. There was something so hurtful about being restricted like that at her age. It just was not fair. Begrudgingly, she nodded to her mother duck; however, she had no plans on actually obeying.
The next day: Mary flew over towards Gallow Lake. She was not going to do anything; she just wanted to look at him. At the very least, it would be a chance to tell her friends what he looked like.
As she got close to the lake, she landed on the ground. It took a few glances before she saw the single duck in question. True enough, he did look quite handsome, but he also looked very lonely. Devilish thoughts ran through her mind.
She suddenly heard him call to her, “Hey, pretty duck! Come down and play with me!”
Her heart skipped a beat. Was Tucker calling her? Something was just so alluring about it. Was she really going to do it? She decided that she was not going to let her mother control her anymore. This had to be done. Mary flew right over and landed in Gallow Lake.
“So, you’re Tucker, right? I’ve heard a lot about you. Where you from?”
Tucker said not a word; he just looked at her in those pretty duck eyes. She blushed at first, but then something just felt off about it. She asked, “Are you all right? I’m not bothering you, am I?” He remained silent. The more he did not talk, the more Mary was suspicious.
She swam up close and gently pecked him on the beak. Her heart sunk within her. “Oh, no. Oh, God. You’re not real.” She turned and flapped her wings. “He’s not real!”
She took off into the air, quacking at the top of her lungs, “He’s not real! He’s not real!” A loud bang was heard from nearby, and Mary fell back to the water with only one final thought: she should have listened to her mother.
7 – “Pride”
Richard was relaxed. He felt the grass between his claws as he idly drug them across the ground. He gazed up slightly at the friendly sun. It was hot but pleasant all the same. It was brief moments of peace like this that could really raise a lion’s disposition.
The cool wind that blew through his fur, the distant sounds of wildlife… it was things of that nature that made him smile. There was no reason to move; all he had to do was lay there and relax–just let the whole day pass him by with no troubles in the world. That is, until he would hear those familiar paw-steps coming his way.
Richard grumbled and turned his head away from the offending sounds. The stark voice of his mate blared out at him with all the charm of a dying cicada, “Of course. It’s so typical! Lying down on his fat ass again, while I’m off working all day! Just typical!”
The husband groaned and covered his ears. “I need the rest, Nancy! I have the entire pride lands to worry about!”
“Oh, far be it for me to interrupt such an important session of you worrying! Lord knows, we’d all be doomed if even one of your muscles were suddenly to move!”
Richard grumped to himself as he stood up. “All right, I’m up. Are you happy now?!”
“Yeah, I’m happy. I spent all day waiting for that one glorious moment when my dear and wonderful husband would… stand up! Help me drag dinner over, would you?”
Richard was shocked. “You mean you didn’t bring it up the hill?”
“Oh, then forgive me. I spent half the day trying to find and kill one. Where are my manners?”
“Hey, you act like you do all of the work! My life isn’t sunshine and roses either, Nancy! I’ve got hardships too! In case you haven’t noticed, I just happen to be king around here! That’s a lot of pressure!”
Nancy rolled her eyes. “King, my ass. I do all the work around here.”
“Killing food is women’s work! Leave the important stuff to the man!”
She scoffed and walked passed him. “You men are all the same! You sit at home and do nothing all day, and you actually think you’ve done something! Do you wanna know what happened to me today?!”
Richard asked under his breath, “If I say ‘no,’ are you still gonna tell me?”
Nancy cursed under her breath and went on to say, “I was trying to kill an antelope for you, and two of those damn hyenas came by and nearly took the thing from me! I could have been killed!”
Richard thought about that for a moment. He then asked, “The antelope wasn’t torn up too bad, was it?”
Nancy could only glare at him. Only a moment later did he realize why. He groaned and turned away from her. “As if I wasn’t in constant danger.”
“Oh, I have no doubt that everyone in the pride lands would love to steal your noble title of furry lump.”
“Are you gonna get me my damn food or not?!”
“Get it yourself!”
“Maybe, I will! Maybe, I’ll do it just to get away from your nagging for one second in my life!”
“Go on! See what it’s like to actually do something for a change!”
Richard made his way down the hill. His grumblings were full of various swear words that are too inappropriate to mention. Was this all there was to life: a job that was not going anywhere and a wife that would never shut up? It seemed to Richard that there just had to be more to all this than what he was given.
In the distance, he spotted Pauline. She was a pretty lioness that always seemed to have an eye for him. It was true that he had thought about it many times but never had the guts to go through with it.
The voice from the hill cried out, “Hurry up and get that carcass up here, you lazy good-for-nothing!”
Richard winced and decided to do as told. Something told him that if he did cheat on her, he would be dead within a few days.
8 – “The Bully”
Going out into the forest should never have to be as nerve racking as it was. Jack never thought so anyways. The poor bunny had gotten to the point where he never wanted to leave home. “Please don’t make me go!” he would plead to his mother. “You don’t know what it’s like!”
Mother rabbit shook her head. “Now, Jack, you need to spend more time with the other rabbits! Honestly, I don’t know what’s so horrible about it. Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
“N-no. I just don’t like it there. Don’t make me go!”
She nudged him away from the warren. “You’re just shy! Go on! I’ll see you later!”
Jack moped to himself as he hopped into the forest. This area was usually pretty safe and was a good meeting place for the bunny folk of the area. The only problem was that there was someone who would always meet him part of the way.
“Prepare to get eaten!” cried the horrible voice from an unknown location.
Jack stopped and trembled. “Go away! I’m not afraid of you!”
The voice laughed. “I don’t care if you’re afraid or not; I’m still going to eat you!”
“Please, just leave me alone! This is supposed to be a safe place. Just… Just go away!”
The voice bellowed out from right behind him, “Die!”
Jack nearly had a heart attack. He jumped around and stared Bobby Badger right in his big, scary eyes. “Please, don’t eat me! I’m scared! There I said it! I’m scared!”
Bobby laughed and pushed the bunny over. “You should have seen your face! It was priceless!”
The poor bunny was panting out his sorrows; he was thoroughly unable to calm himself down. Bobby growled and asked, “You haven’t told anyone about me, have you?!”
Jack quivered, “No! No one! I promise!”
“If you do, you’ll regret it!”
“I won’t!”
The badger poked him roughly in the chest and jeered, “You’re nothing but a nothing, you little twerp! Someday, when you’re older, I’m gonna eat you for real!”
The poking was pretty bad, and the threatening remarks did not make it feel any better. Jack was completely at the badger’s mercy, which seemed to be the case even when he was at home. He coughed and tried to swat the large badger paws away. “Agh! Stop it! That really hurts, Bobby! Please, stop!”
The badger did anything but stop. In fact, he poked even harder. “Why don’t you make me?! Hey, why don’t you tell me your name again! I love hearing it!”
“No!”
Bobby jabbed into the bunny’s chest even harder. “Tell me your name!”
The bunny screamed out, “Ow! Okay! Okay! It’s Jack!”
“Jack who?!”
The bunny’s eyes filled with tears. “Jack… Rabbit. My name is Jack Rabbit.”
Bobby broke out into a fit of laughter. “I still can’t believe your mother would be that stupid! It’s like you don’t even have a name. She’s just calling you what you are! You really are a nothing! You don’t even have a name!”
Jack silently cried to himself as he lay there. The whole thing was as humiliating as it could be, but unfortunately, it was nothing new. This is what he always had to deal with, and it was all he thought about regardless of where he was. Jack took the chance to run away. He could hear Bobby calling to him from behind, “Remember, Jack Rabbit! You’re a nothing! Nothing but a nothing!”
Jack sat under a tree. His friends were there, but he was too upset to play. The only things on his mind were those final words, “Nothing but a nothing.” He knew that it was a lie. He knew that Bobby was just trying to make him feel terrible. But despite that, he could not help but wonder if it was true.
Of course, he thought about telling someone. There were a lot of bigger or older rabbits that could do something to stop Bobby. Jack was just too scared. Even though it was ridiculous, it always felt that Bobby was always there, watching for him to slip up. All the help in the world would be useless if he was already dead.
What was he to do? He was just a little rabbit. Jack felt terrible, and he saw no end in sight. Was this how it was always going to be? The rabbit sat there and cried, for in that moment, he really felt like a nothing.
9 – “On the March”
The loud announcements never seemed to stop. “No talking! No deviating from the trail! Never stop marching! Always remain three antenna’s length apart from each other! Remember: you… are… nobody! Together, we… are… everything!”
Number Fifty-Six groaned at the constant repeating of that mantra. It was almost enough to drive nearly anyone into ripping their own head off. No wonder most of the ants only survived about ninety days. If the constant danger did not kill you, the monotony would.
The groaning ant looked behind him. Twenty-Eight was following him at the approved distance. Before speaking to his friend, Fifty-Six checked around him to see if he was being watched by any of the officers. “Hey Twenty, you ever wonder what it would be like to just… leave the trail?”
The other ant responded, “Are you crazy?! That’s cause for execution! Heck, I bet even the queen herself would do it.”
“Why is a little excursion so wrong? There are so many other areas of this structure that I haven’t seen.”
“What’s wrong with what you have already seen?”
Fifty-Six shrugged. “What do you mean? I don’t call the rear end of another ant very scenic.”
Obviously the ant up ahead heard the remark and rightly took offence. “Hey, will you two knock it off? You’re gonna get all of us in trouble!”
Twenty-Eight sighed. “You might wanna listen to him and button your mandibles.”
Fifty-Six continued to groan. A passing officer yelled him back to his senses. “Straighten up! You are marching for the queen, boy!” Fifty straightened up for the time it took to get out of sight.
Twenty went on to say, “That was pretty close. Are you gonna stop bugging me about all this excursion nonsense?”
It was almost as if Twenty-Eight was ignored. Fifty went right back onto his own topic. “Did you hear what happened to Trail Nine the other day?”
“It’s not my place to know. They don’t want you dealing with anything that’s not associated with your own trail.”
“I heard they all died. Poison, I think.”
“So what? You want to go bury them? We got our own ants to deal with.”
“Well, it kind of makes you think: we could be walking into poison right now. Nobody buries the poisoned. They just get left there to die alone.”
“Well who would wanna go in there anyways?! It’s all contaminated!”
“I don’t wanna go in there to begin with! I just think this whole trail thing is gonna get us killed someday, Twenty. And what then? We just get left out on the ground to be swept away by a broom someday?”
Twenty snapped, “Okay, just shut up! You’re making me depressed!”
Fifty returned with an equal demeanor, “Well, at least I can see it bothers you too! Come on, Twenty, let’s just ditch this trail and find our own paths!”
An ominous voice asked from the sidelines, “What was that?” Fifty-Six gulped. It was one of the officers. “Did I just hear what sounded like an individual?!”
Fifty was not sure how to answer, but Twenty spoke up to defend his friend, “He’s been a little off his game, sir. I’ll push him back into submission in no time.”
Fifty nodded profusely. “It’s true! He has to do that to me sometimes. Please, don’t kill me.”
The officer followed them for a little while before saying, “All right. But I’m going to file a report on you anyways. What is your number?”
Fifty-Six gulped and said, “Forty-Nine?”
“Right, get back to the trail!”
The two ants saw the pile of sugar up ahead. Fifty-Six peered back at his friend one last time. “You think its poison?”
Twenty-Eight shrugged. “Guess we’re about to find out.”
“Any chance you wanna switch places with me?”
“Just shut up and grab what you can. We need to get it back to the queen, A-S-A-P.”
“Jeez, you’re starting to sound like the officers. Are we ever gonna break free of all this monotony, Twenty?”
“Maybe someday, but right now, let’s go dive into that poison over there.”
Fifty-Six groaned, “Very funny. If it is poison, you’re gonna feel sorry for making that joke.”
To which Twenty replied, “If it’s poison, I won’t be feeling much of anything.”
Fifty sighed. “Good point.”
10 – “A Travesty”
Malory crawled through the tunnels with a giggle. Her adolescent friend, Lucy, was right behind cracking jokes. “I can’t believe how big your butt has gotten since the last time I followed you in here.”
Malory giggled and kicked some dirt back at her. “Will you stop it?! No wonder nobody hangs out with each other anymore. You’re unbearable.”
“Aw, you’re just jealous that you aren’t as funny as me. But what’s so bad about two gophers getting food from the farm together?”
“Not a lot of us do it together is all. The farmers have a big crop this year. Everyone’s in a tizzy over it. I’m looking to get a good share for myself.”
Lucy laughed. “Your butt is just gonna get bigger if you keep eating this way!”
Malory huffed, “I’ll eat what I want and there’s nothing you can…” There was a sudden sound of clanking metal from above, and the girl let out a gasp followed by a gurgle.
Lucy bumped into her friend and backed away. “Why did you stop?” There was no response other than a few twitches. “Malory? Malory?! Are you okay?! Why did you…” Blood began to pool down the path from where Malory lay. Lucy saw it and her heart sunk. It was obvious what had happened: Malory had fallen into a deadly trap. She screamed, “Malory! Nooo!”
Only one day after the incident, the gophers of the farm all gathered just outside to have a meeting. Although it was not at all customary for such creatures to do so, the topic at hand was too important to be settled by each individual. Miss Ellen was the presiding and eldest gopher in the region, so it just made sense for her to lead the meeting.
“I know you are all probably very disturbed by what has transpired recently,” Ellen went on to say. “The loss of Malory presents a very troubling reality. It would seem that the farmer who presides over these crops have deployed traps that are intended to kill us!”
The gophers in the crowd were prattling nosily from hearing those words. Miss Ellen continued, “I know what you all must be thinking: what on earth have we done to deserve this? All we have done is come here to eat. We have done it for as long as I can remember. Why would the farmer be so cruel?!”
One of the gophers in the crowd spoke up, “Why did she have to die?!”
“Nobody knows. We’re not sure what brought on this sudden act of violence. If I was able, I’d give those humans a piece of my mind!”
It just so happened that as these gophers were congregating about the travesty at hand, an old owl was watching them from a tree. He was very confused by their words, and desired to interject himself into the discussion. “Excuse me!” he said from where he perched.
Miss Ellen raised her head with the rest of the crowd. The owl fluttered down to a lower branch and politely stated, “If I may be so bold, Miss Ellen, I want to point out that I find it baffling that you did not see this coming.”
The elder gopher was nearly insulted. “Are you out of your mind?! One of our own was just stabbed through the heart for no reason at all! What have we done that deserved such a cruel death?!” All the gophers present seemed to agree with her judgment.
The owl ruffled his feathers for a moment before answering. “Was it not the farmer’s crops that you have been stealing all of these years? I have watched for a very long time, and I have seen you take far more than what you rightly deserve. I would even go so far as to say that you did not deserve any of it at all.”
Once again, Ellen was offended. “We have done nothing that we have not always done! We have every right to those vegetables! You are a fool!”
The owl sighed. He thought to himself how strange it was how thieves could come to accept their ways as normal. He did not have too much hope for the group. “Very well. You obviously don’t want to listen to me, but at least listen to my advice. These grounds are no good to you anymore. Whether you accept it or not, the lot of you are thieves and you have suffered a just blow. If you yearn for more food, I suggest you find it elsewhere.”
Ellen snapped back, “Leave us alone, you annoying bird! Can’t you see we have been hurt enough?!”
The owl, finished with his vain attempt, spread his wings and flew away. There was nothing more to be said and certainly nothing to break those gophers free of their own lies.
About These Stories
About “Wild”- Having read the collected works of Aesop as well as a number of other stories that stared animals, I was really fascinated by how animals can be used to personify human traits. With “Wild,” I set out to demonstrate aspects of the human race through similar parables. My hope was that it would expose some of our failings and bring the reader into a state of healthy introspection.
About “Chicken”- Sometimes adulthood is the only thing that can save a kid. This parable shows how children tend to act on impulse rather than good judgment. The sad thing is that some people never really grow up; I’ve seen adults do things just as bad.
About “Trash”- This was not so much a deep tale as it was just a simple story about a married couple from the perspective of raccoons. Part of this probably stemmed from my love of the show “Mad About You.” I know that most of these stories are about more meaningful things, but I guess that I am just a sucker for cute stuff.
About “The Other Bird”- This was intended to be an amusing yet dark parable about self-image. It is pretty obvious that the bird was only seeing his reflection and perceiving it as hostile (which really does happen.) But there are some people that can look in the mirror and truly despise what they see. I sometimes think this is why people go out of their way to change their appearance. It is almost like a mask that makes them feel more comfortable when they have to look at themselves.
About “Family”- After watching an episode of “Leave it to Beaver,” I had the idea of presenting a similar story but from the perspective of vicious coyotes. The moment where the father encourages his son to murder the one who is bullying him is intended to come across as shocking while still realistic. Nature is a very hostile thing, and there is no problem in the animal kingdom that cannot be solved by simple murder.
About “Motherhood”- It should be apparent why I chose kangaroos to symbolize mothers. The issue I was trying to bring to the table here is the problem with overprotective mothers. Sensitive feet or not, if a child does not learn to break away from the nest, he will end up in a far worse scenario later in life. Mother and son are both to blame, but I give a special shameful stare to the mother who should have been more responsible.
About “The Bad Boy”- There comes a point in in a teenager’s life where he wants to rebel. There are a lot of temptations out there, and a lot of them are influenced by that person’s peers. Sometimes something looks so good, but ends up being a trap. That was the reason I used a duck decoy to illustrate that concept. The parents usually make good calls on these things and listening to them at these critical moments would be advisable.
About “Pride”- I got this idea after seeing an episode of “The Honeymooners.” I had also recently found out that the female lion is the one that does all the hunting, while the male is just happy to remain at home and eat the food. I actually find this scenario relevant with humans as well. Imagine a man in a reclining chair. He has a beer in his right hand, and he does little more than watch TV, while the wife does all the cooking and cleaning. Confronted with his laziness, he will come up with every excuse in the book to avoid the real issue. Lions fit this scenario flawlessly.
About “The Bully”- This parable was more of a vent. I never had to deal with bullying in my school; they were way too strict for it to ever happen. Still, I saw what was happening on the TV and heard about it from others, and it made me pretty angry. The cases that especially reached me were the ones involving suicides. I am sure that, at some level, those poor kids believed all the bad things those bullies said. That particular aspect was what this story focused on.
About “On the March”- This story could easily be misinterpreted as an anarchist propaganda tale. In reality, it is actually very patriotic. Some people take for granted what freedoms we actually have in the United States. There are other countries out there that do not even come close. There have even been cases where a country will demand you sacrifice your life for the greater good, and if you refuse, they will take your life as punishment. Where I live, I can make that choice myself, and nobody can force me to do anything.
About “A Travesty”- I have seen multiple cases where human beings have out rightly stolen things and actually feel that it was owed to them. I always found this to be very bizarre. People will go out of their way to selfishly step on others in order to get what is usually a frivolous gain of some kind, and when they are accused of wrongdoing, they have no idea that any misconduct has taken place. This lack of concern for others is a very dark side to humanity, and I have little remorse for these people when they are thwarted.
Animals vs. Human Beings
To be brief: Animals run entirely on pure instinct. They do not have a choice in anything they do. Everything is based off their inborn nature, and that is all there is to it.
Human beings have a similar inborn instinct; however, they have the unique ability to make decisions and can actually override those impulses. They do not have to let their instincts drive them. This separates them from animals entirely.
We are not feral, but if we allow ourselves, we can easily slip into that realm. We can quite literally become nothing more than just an animal, and that is a horrible thing. It is like taking all of that wonderful potential and tossing it away like it is nothing.
We are human. Our ability to choose is what makes us special. Once we take that for granted, we give up our right to be human.
Human Being [hyoo-muhn bee-ing]
noun
1. any individual of the genus Homo, especially a member of the species Homo sapiens.
2. a person, especially as distinguished from animals or as representing the human species: living conditions not fit for human beings; a very generous human being.
Animal [an-uh-muhl]
noun
1. any member of the kingdom Animalia, comprising multicellular organisms that have a well-defined shape and usually limited growth, can move voluntarily, actively acquire food and digest it internally, and have sensory and nervous systems that allow them to respond rapidly to stimuli.
2. any such living thing other than a human being.
3. a mammal, as opposed to a fish, bird, etc.
4. the physical, sensual, or carnal nature of human beings; animality: the animal in every person.
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She married an animal.
