inspired by the lists that :iconCheshire_Cat_Master: has been making over on his profile. :p
Alright so here’s a fun little thing I made ranking every Disney animal I can think of/have interest in by how good of a prey they would make in vore. : O here’s the link to the template: https://tiermaker.com/list/cartoons/best-disney-charact...
Basically, my thinking was that if I were a pred suddenly let loose in a Disney cartoon, would I hunt these characters? And would I enjoy the meal? And would I go after first?
Rankings based on taste, nutritional value, ease of access and fat content amongst other things.
so with no further adieu, I shall defend my choices. :P
S tier: Finally some good fucking food
These are the real beauties, the crem de la crem of Disney cuisine. The tastiest, least hastle, most nutritious and meatiest of cartoons.
Bambi: An actual prey creature Bambi, at least in his younger years, is innocent, impressionable and oh so delicous. Imagine slurping up over that cute little deer head and gulping him down those kicking hooves. <3
Bolt: Maybe a bit of an odd choice to be up so high since he isn’t a natural prey animal. But Bolt is undoubtedly perfect prey material to me. From his clean, pampered fur, all of that lean meat meat around his hips and legs and to top it all off he has a wonderful personality for such occasions. Innocent, somewhat overconfident but all so easy to trick, capture, devour and of course, digest.
Copper: You would need a pretty heartless pred to go after a cute little puppy like copper, but unfortunately for him he does live near a forest and there’s plenty of creatures in that forest that would kill for a chance to get at his soft little form. Again much like Bolt this guy is full of overconfident, innocent energy and he’s really fat to boot! Juicy, easy prey. The downside is that he doesn’t have a lot of meat to speak of, but rumour has it that he hangs around with a fox, and two meals are better than one...
Thumper: who doesn’t like a nice rabbit? And when you have one as fat, fluffy and juicy as this little guy, well it’s just natural that you’d want to gobble him up. He’d make a lovely roast served with some thyme and garlic sauce.
Pumbaa: Warthog is a real delicacy in some parts of the world and while Pumbaa might have some detriments to him, mainly the smell, he remains an absolutely top tier Disney dinner.
Oliver: Small but certainly not measly, Oliver would probably the hardest of the S tier to actually track down and eat. Protected by a gang of dogs or hidden away in a mansion and very competent himself to boot, he’d be a difficult kitty to get one’s hands on. But once you do you have a deliciously plump, furry piece of cat steak to munch upon. His pampered flavour no doubt complimented by his rough and ready past out on the streets. You also have to remember that almost everyone in the movie at some point wanted to eat this guy from the dog in the intro, to Tito, to Roscoe and Desetto. Even Dodger alluded to it once or twice, so you know for a fact that he must smell gorgeous, what a snack.
Hen Wen: And of course you can’t leave off a pig from a list of tasty Disney characters, especially one as well bred and wriggly as this big girl. I imagine that with her seer powers she may see you coming, but if the black cauldron thought is anything it’s that Hen Wen can, and will, be fooled and kidnapped quite easily. Better get that spit roast ready.
A tier: put them in my mouth
In terms of scoring these guys don’t match the choice cuts above for various reasons, but they still have a lot going for them in terms of nutritional value.
Zazu: I imagine this guy must taste a lot like chicken and we know for a fact that if it wasn’t for his position at Mufasa’s side this smug, loud mouth bird would have been devoured years ago. Unfortunately there just isn’t enough meat on the little guy to justify putting him in the top tier, take away the beak and the legs and you’ve got a p disappointing roast bird to snack into. Still A tier for what he does have though.
Toulouse: fat, juicy and pampered AF this would be a real treat for any pred to get their hands on. As it is though I think he might be a little too rich in flavour, plus he’s sort of boring, wouldn’t fight back much. Great meal, but a less interesting encounter for a hungry predator that enjoys the hunt.
Timon: Again too small to really be something special, but I do imagine that this lean hunk of meerkat would be a scrumptious one! Plus with all of his energy he would wriggle and squirm up an absolute storm both before and after being gobbled up.
Sven: The first big boi of this list, Sven is a heck of a lot of meat to get through. God knows a pred would be digesting this guy for weeks afterwards, but the antlers prove a pretty difficult obstacle to get through. Would he be worth the trouble though? Yes.
Sebastian: Who doesn’t love a nice steamed crab, spread eagled on a plate and served with some salmon roe?
Remy: I’ve no doubt that this little guy tastes gorgeous. All that rich and delicous food he eats plus all of the smells and steam of the kitchen that must have seeped into his fur over the years, a fox or a cat could just drool over this guy for hours before even attempting to eat him.
Pua: Hen Wen and Pumbaa might have more meat on them but Pua isn’t one to be pushed aside in this ranking. A lovely ball of delicious pork, maybe served with some gravy or a Bechamel sauce.
Maximus: Horse is a difficult meat but if served correctly it can be quite scrumptious indeed. And we all know that this lean, sturdy stallion would out strip any other horse on the market with his big, active brain and gorgeous fur all ready to be swallowed up. <3
Flower: I have to admit i’ve never even heard of anyone eating a skunk, but surely if they had to eat one Flower would be a star on that proverbial menu. Full of baby fat, cute as a button and easy as pie to catch Flower is one of the most undoubtedly preyish animals the disney corporation has produced. He doesn’t stand a chance.
Basil: Less tempting than Remy but still a great catch if a pred was smart enough to get their hands on him. The great mouse detective, now reduced to a great melting lump in someone’s belly.
B tier I suppose if you’re hungry
You could do worse, but these guys aren’t the top of the menu for me.
Abu: skinny monkey, hardly any real meat, might make a good soup.
Tramp: Sort of scraggy, thin, street dogs don’t make good food. Maybe come back in a few years when he’s all fat and pampered up.
Simba: Certainly not a bad meal but imagine how hard this guy would be to get. He’s got big teeth, sharp claws and is capable AF. You’d have a battle on your hands here for what would probably amount to being a somewhat mild and measly dinner, and then you’d have to get out of the pridelands quick before Mufasa shows up.
Marie: Not as fat as her brother with all of the same detriments.
Koda: Another guy that would be interesting but ultimately isn’t worth the trouble of taking on. He’s more likely to eat you. :p
Judy: Rabbit is a delicacy for sure :p But as we’ve seen Judy can think her way out of any situation plus
Flounder: Just a fish innit
Dumbo: Big, meaty and juicy, but I can’t imagine elephant tastes all that good.
Dodger: Meatier than trump but perhaps even scraggier and dirtier, taste that delicious New York pollution!
Berlioz: the smallest of the three, little more than a snack really.
C tier: burger king breakfast
A round of characters that aren’t disgusting but don’t seem like they’d make a great meal.
Thomas O’malley: Same problem as Dodger and Tramp, too dirty and wild to be of any real malnutrition value, plus he’s being a cat he hasn’t got nearly as much meat as those two.
Tod: As a combo with Copper this could guy could be A tier, but on his own Tod pales in comparison to his puppy dog friend, having less meat, a less interesting personality to play around with and too smart to trick effectively.
Si and Am: Together there’s potential with these two, but I've always seen them more as predator than prey. Villainous, mischievous kitties deserves to be eaten sure but they’re more likely to turn the tables and eat the pred. :p
Nick Wilde: smart, capable, hard to eat and probably even harder to cook. This guy’s a pred, through and through imo.
Mittens: I have a vendetta against stray cats it seems. :p Mittens doesn’t seem all that appetising, especially when put up against Bolt or Rhino (who deserves an honourable mention on his own.)
Kevin: Maybe if you roasted her up with a couple of eggs, but for the most part I can’t imagine this big bird has much going for her in the meat department.
Finnick: Certainly a more appetising creature than Nick but no less difficult to catch nor any less of a predator.
Duchess: That fur would be hell to cough back up next morning, and on top of that she’s skinny and fed off of rich food. Too clean, pampered, who wants such processed food? X)
Oliver and company dog pack: The rest of the pack, Tito, Francis, Einstein and Rita. Even altogether none of these are particularly striking snacks, and also lack the compelling personality that would make Dodger or especially Oliver good food.
Bernard and Bianca: Two little micies, plump, but just mice at the end of the day. And without the fun of tricking Basil or the delicious, rich cuisine of a Remy ratatouille. :p
D tier: it’s fucking raw
Avoid at all costs! These are the one’s that, to me, are unappetising as prey for a variety of reasons some obvious and some not.
Stitch: An alien, probably poisonous, and very capable of eating anyone that attempts to eat him.
Toy story dog: Ugly, and all those polygons would be a pain to pass. :p
Bullseye: He’s a toy, eating fabric and digesting stuff can’t be good on the digestive system.
Cheshire cat: This guy could be good food, he’s a plump and fluffy kitty cat after all, but rest assured that in wonderland this cat is king. Try and eat him and he can. Quite literally, turn your world upside down.
Bunga: Smelly, probably doesn’t taste very good anyway.
And that’s that. :p Feel free to make you own over at: https://tiermaker.com/list/cartoons/best-disney-charact... far as I know you should be able to add your own so long as you're logged in since there’s a few I missed. Link in the comments below if you do rank this out. i’d love to see the results.
Heh, fun idea x3 lots of characters I never thought about too! Loved all your descriptions of them~ (particularly the one with Sven~ heh, big bois digesting for weeks <3 (maybe even alive XD gosh I'm horrible))
https://tiermaker.com/create/best-disney-characters-to-eat-374563 Heh, fun idea x3 lots of charact
Verrryyy nice rankings here. :o glad that you rank Flower and Oliver so highly hehe. :P they are both incredibly cute, very innocent little characters with a lot to lose. <3 super fun to eat up. Tod in a top tier position is fun too because i've always seen him as a pred, in the context of him vs copper at least, but he would certainly be an easy and very nutritious creature to gobble up if one so desired. <3
And yess, Sven would take soooo long to digest. All of that reindeer muscle honed from all those years of pulling sleighs and carrying kristoff around, it would take so long for him to expire let alone to even begin digesting him properly. Unlucky guy....
Verrryyy nice rankings here. :o glad that you rank Flower and Oliver so highly hehe. :P they are bot
