Depression
Rarity’s funeral proceeded slowly. A small orchestra played slow, melancholy music as many of her former customers lined up to pay their respects to Ponyville’s finest fashionista. Twilight sat down, watching over the procession, Fluttershy tearing up next to her. “Please calm down, Fluttershy. You did everything you could. Nopony blames you for this.”
Fluttershy sniffled heavily, trying to hold back her sobs long enough to speak. “I should have stayed with her…or checked on her sooner. She would have been okay if I just stayed at her side.”
Twilight lifted her chin, looking into her eyes. “You don’t know that. It could have just been her time.”
“But…she was just fine the day before. She didn’t talk to anypony else. It must have been my fault.” Fluttershy replied sadly.
Twilight pulled her into a warm hug, letting the yellow pegasus cry into her body. She stroked her back reassuringly. “It’s going to be alright Fluttershy. You can’t beat yourself up over this. There was nothing you could have done. There was nothing any of us could have done…” She sighed and rested her head on Fluttershy’s, tears rolling down her cheek now as well. “I’m sorry Fluttershy…”
The two sat there as the line slowly worked its way through, now only a couple ponies left, Ditzy and Dinky taking up the rear. Ditzy extended her wing over her daughter, who cried endlessly into her body. “It’s ok, my little muffin…just think of it as Rarity taking a long, peaceful sleep.”
This seemed to cheer up the young filly, if only slightly. She sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes, walking up to the casket and gazing in. Rarity was indeed lying peacefully inside, her body completely gray. She noticed that Twilight had placed her element around her neck, making her appear even more beautiful as the sun caused the golden choker to shine slightly, despite the cracked and broken gem in the center.
Dinky put her front hooves back on the ground, hugging her mother. She resumed crying silently as Ditzy looked in on her old friend. “I’m sorry Rarity. I didn’t mean for this. You’ve always been such a good friend.” Her eyes flooded with tears, dripping endlessly onto Rarity’s soft fur as she continued. “Please forgive me.” She laid a white rose on her chest, walking off with her head held low.
Twilight’s mourning was cut short by the sensation of something nudging her hip. She opened her eyes and looked down to see Sweetie Belle, eyes filled with tears. “Fluttershy…I need to talk to sweetie belle.”
Fluttershy nodded slowly. “Alright…I understand.” She walked away, trying to maintain a strong appearance for her friends, but failing miserably.
“Come here, Sweetie Belle…” Twilight hugged the filly tightly, much in the same way she did Fluttershy. “This must be terribly difficult for you.”
Sweetie Belle broke into heavy sobs, crying into Twilight’s already soaked fur for several minutes, unable to speak. She slowly managed to control her emotions long enough to say something, however. “It’s not fair! She promised! I hate her! Why did she have to leave!?”
Twilight was taken aback, remaining silent while she formulated a response. “Sweetie, I know it seems unfair, and it is, but these things happen. There’s nothing you, or I, or anypony can do about it. Some things we just…” She sniffled, “…have to accept. But you can’t hate her for this. It’s not like she wanted to break her promise.”
Sweetie Belle continued crying for a long time, sobbing into Twilight’s body. After roughly an hour, she grew silent. Twilight looked down to see she had cried herself to sleep. “Sweetie Belle…” She laid down and rested her head on the soft grass, sniffling. Her eyes slowly closed, hoping that when she woke up, her nightmare would be over and Rarity would, in fact, be alive and well.
A small drop of water woke Twilight from her dreamless sleep. Rarity was now buried, the fresh earth only recently filled in. She looked down at Sweetie, nuzzling her. “Come on Sweetie Belle…it’s starting to rain. We should go home.”
Sweetie Belle unwillingly stood up with a tired groan. She leaned into Twilight as they walked, the rain picking up. Their manes started to droop as the rain began to fall heavier and heavier, the sidewalks now submerged beneath a layer of water. Their hooves splashed around the water. Twilight thought to herself, then leapt into the air, landing with a loud splash, which caught Sweetie Belle off guard. She let out a shriek and jumped to the side, falling over with a splash.
She looked annoyed at first, but her face lightened when she saw Twilight’s mischievous smirk, causing her to laugh. The rain was warm. The late summer heat was preventing the two from being cold as their laughter echoed through the empty streets. The two ponies romped and chased and splashed each other, giggling the entire way to Twilight’s home. “Oh, do come in, Sweetie Belle. I’ll have spike get some hot chocolate running while we go dry off.” She gave the filly a nuzzle, glad she could cheer her young friend up. “Spike, could you be a dear and get some hot chocolate running? Sweetie Belle has had a bit of a rough day.”
“I can imagine.” Spike replied, sounding thoroughly depressed, apparently having been crying himself. “Goodbye…my dearest Rarity…nevermore shall I lay eyes upon your beauty.” He kissed a small locket-sized picture of her.
Twilight glanced quickly at Sweetie Belle, who’s eyes had begun to tear up again. “Spike! Now!” Her tone changed as she shifted her focus to the now-crying filly. “There there, Sweetie Belle, please don’t cry.” She hugged the small unicorn, sighing. “Let’s get you dried off and we can have a nice quiet dinner. How does that sound?”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes lit up at the prospect of food. She hadn’t eaten all day, and she was very hungry.
Twilight smiled. “Well, I guess that settles it. Come on honey. Let’s dry off while spike prepares everything.” She led Sweetie Belle upstairs, grabbing a soft towel. “This is the softest towel I have. I hope you like it.” Sweetie nearly melted as she was wrapped in it, the soft fibers caressing her fur, virtually pulling the water off of her body. She watched as Twilight grabbed another and wrapped herself in it. The two unicorns shared a soft giggle and embraced each other.
“Thank you, Twilight.” Sweetie said suddenly, catching her off guard.
“Oh…of course. I’m always happy to help.” Twilight closed her eyes, resting her head on the filly’s, smiling softly to herself. “If you ever need anything, Sweetie Belle, don’t hesitate to stop by. I’ll always make time for you.”
Her kind words were rewarded with a closer snuggle. She couldn’t imagine how wonderful it would feel, and how much she wished she grew up with a sister, just so she could have felt this every day.
The door to Fluttershy’s room opened, eliciting a gasp from the yellow pegasus. “Oh, it’s only you, Angel Bunny. I’m…I’m not really in the mood right now…please come back later.” She laid her head back into her pillow, which was clearly soaked, even in the dim light. The sound of her soft sobs filled the room.
Angel hopped up onto the bed, poking her with a sealed envelope. Her hoof brushed him away. “Please…not now…”
The flustered bunny hopped on top of her, using his large hind leg to thump firmly on her head, desperate to get her attention. “No Angel.” She lifted him up and put him on the floor. He hopped up and down in frustration, hopping back onto the bed and slamming his body into her. “Angel Bunny!” She sits up, glaring down at him. He looks up at her and waves the envelope. “I said no! I’m sorry, but I’m not in the mood for this right now…” Tears fall from her eyes, landing on either side of the white bunny. She lowered her head. “I’m sorry…I know what you’re trying to do. Please, just not this one, alright?”
The bunny gave her a soft hug, bouncing out of the room. She flopped down on the bed, placing the envelope on the desk next to her, sniffling into her pillow again.
Sugarcube corner was alive with music and action that night. Pound and Pumpkin Cake had been allowed to stay up to enjoy Pinkie’s magnificent cheer-up party. Pound Cake flew about the room, swatting at floating balloons, while Pumpkin Cake was content to chew on the party hats. Pinkie trotted to the door, opening it. “Hello Twilight!”
Sweetie Belle stepped out from behind the purple unicorn. “I hope you don’t mind I brought Sweetie Belle along,” Twilight interjected.
“The more the merrier. And we need LOTS of merry today!” Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle at her own joke, followed immediately by Twilight.
“Are we the first ones here?” Twilight asked.
“Yep yep! Why don’t you help yourself to Pinkie Pie’s extra special super happy punch while we wait for the other guests to arrive?” The pink pony bounced around her friend, gracefully skipping along.
Twilight entered the house, looking around. The room was lavishly decorated with excessive numbers of streamers, balloons, and party hats. “Well this is cheerful, even by Pinkie’s standards. We should have no problem getting into the spirit of THIS party.” The purple unicorn laughed, walking to the punch bowl.
“Well this punch is indeed happy…” Twilight joked, looking at the festively colored bowl, various colored ice cubes decorating the drink itself. “Would you like some Sweetie Belle?”
“No thank you. Not right now.”
Twilight hugged the filly. “Please try to cheer up, Sweetie. I know it’s hard, but you can’t be upset forever.”
Sweetie Belle sighed, sniffling. “I’m not even sure I want to be here…”
“Oh come on, it’ll be fun! Look, Pinkie’s already setting up Pin the Tail on the Pony.”
The party continued for several hours. The sun having long since set, the four friends disperse. Twilight stopped and turned back to look at Pinkie. “I hope Fluttershy’s alright. She never misses your parties.”
Pinkie swallowed another large slice of cake. “I’m sure she’s fine. She seemed to take this whole thing pretty hard. I’ll save her a slice and bring it to her place tomorrow.”
Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “You’re such a good friend, Pinkie. Please give her my regards.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie replied, closing the door.
Twilight looked down at Sweetie Belle. “You look so tired, darling…here…” She knelt down and allowed sweetie to climb up onto her back, curling up on the mare’s warm body.
“Thank you Twilight…” she yawned.
A pink hoof knocks on Fluttershy’s door. The door opened just a crack, revealing a tired eye gazing out. “Oh…hello Pinkie.”
Pinkie placed the plate of cake she was holding in her mouth down on the ground. “Good morning Fluttershy! We didn’t see you at my party yesterday. I’m sure you just didn’t see the invitation I left.”
“Um…actually…” she started, her eye looking down at the floor, “I did see it. Angel brought it up to my room.”
The pink earth pony looked somewhat hurt that she’d so blatantly ignore a party invitation. “Why didn’t you come? The party was SUPER fun! It would have cheered you right up!” She bounced several times to emphasize her point. “Oh! I brought you some cake! Can…I come in?”
“I’d…rather you not. My house is still a bit of a mess.”
Pinkie kept bouncing. “That’s ok! I’ll help you clean up! That’s what friends are for.”
The yellow Pegasus sighed. “No, that won’t be necessary, thank you.”
“Is something wrong, Fluttershy? You know you can talk to me.” Pinkie’s smile slowly faded. She knew something was wrong, but knew that forcing the matter wouldn’t accomplish anything. Her hoof rested against the door, only applying light pressure. She tilted her head at various angles in an attempt to get a better look at her sullen friend and the inside of the house, which was surprisingly dark, given that it was late morning.
“No, it’s nothing. Thank you for your concern, but I’m alright…” She hoped her friend would buy the lie and leave without pushing further.
There was a long, awkward silence. “okie dokie lokie. Just let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
The yellow pegasus averted her eyes, simply closing the door.
Pinkie knocked again, waiting a moment. “Alright, I’ll just leave your cake here then!” She bounced away, her cheerful demeanor returning.
Fluttershy leaned against the door, pulling her knees in and sitting upright against it before leaning forward, folding her forelegs and crying into them.
A sudden knock at the door brought the pegasus back to her senses. She wasn’t sure if she’d been sitting there for a few minutes, or a few hours. All she knew is that her backside hurt, and that her eyes were unfocused. She gave a light sniffle and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, shaking her vision back into focus. There was another knock at the door, reminding her why she was standing in the first place. She slowly turned around and hesitantly opened the door a notch, just enough to look out and no farther. “Who’s there?”
A quick glance at the sky had revealed that the sun had moved significantly since she last opened her door. She must have been out for about three hours according to the shadows on the ground. Her eyes glanced down at the pony who knocked.
Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom were standing on her welcome mat. They were all wearing their Cutie Mark Crusader cloaks. Fluttershy sighed. “Oh no…I forgot, didn’t I?”
She didn’t need an answer. The expression on Scootaloo’s face said everything. “Fluttershy! You were supposed to meet us in the park an hour ago to teach us about all the animals in Ponyville for a homework assignment!”
“I’m sorry girls…I wanted to, but something came up and I had to do something here. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I just…can’t today.”
Sweetie Belle stepped forward. “Is there anything we can do to help?” She made glances at her friends, who both nodded in agreement. “We’ll do anything you need.”
“Oh no, that won’t be necessary. I’ve got it under control,” Fluttershy insisted. “Just go run along and play. You don’t have to concern yourselves with me.”
“Nonsense, Fluttershy,” Apple Bloom stated. “My big sis would have a conniption if I didn’t do everything I could to help. If it’s too big for us, we’ll just call Big Macintosh over. Nothing’s too big for HIM.”
The other two fillies looked at her, mouths agape. “A ca-what now?” Scootaloo asked, puzzled.
“A conniption. I heard Twilight use it a couple days ago about Rarity’s reactions to my sister’s love of getting dirty.” Apple bloom giggled, suddenly feeling smart.
“What are you, a dictionary?” Scootaloo interjected after a brief pause.
“Better than a chicken!” Apple Bloom retorted. They both stuck their tongues out at each other before laughing.
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “What they mean is, we want to help you with whatever is wrong, Fluttershy. Just tell us.”
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” Fluttershy said quickly.
“Oh come on! We’re trying to help!” Scootaloo insisted.
Fluttershy cowered slightly at Scootaloo’s annoyance. “There’s nothing you can help with, just go. I just want to be alone.”
“We…are…helping!” Schootaloo pushed through the door, knocking Fluttershy over and forcing her way into the house. She looked around, unable to see without any significant source of light.
Fluttershy stood up, dazed slightly. “How…dare…you…”
Scootaloo stopped, knowing she had crossed the line.
“How DARE you!” Fluttershy stood in the shadows, glaring at her.
The pegasus filly cowered down, frightened. “Fluttershy, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean-“
“Get out!” The normally calm and shy pony shoved her out, furious. “Didn’t your parents teach you anything about how one has to be invited into a house before entering!? Go away!” She slammed the door. The three fillies could hear it locking.
Apple Bloom knocked gently. “Fluttershy? What about our assignment?”
“Ask Twilight!” The words echoed through their minds, leaving a hollow feeling in their stomachs.
Angel Bunny hopped up and rubbed his body against Fluttershy. Her hoof gently stroked over his back. “Oh Angel…they probably hate me now. Maybe I was too hard on them?”
The rabbit shook his head.
“This isn’t like me. I should go apologize tomorrow.” She sniffled slightly. “I’m starting to sound like Rarity before she-“ She stopped short, the effect of her words hitting her like a brick wall. “Rarity! What if…”
Twilight shuffled through the tomes in her library, the floor now a sea of books. Spike tripped over one lying on the stairs, falling into the mess with a crash. He stood upright, his small size forcing him to swim through them. “Twilight, what in Equestria are you doing!? It’s not like you to make such a mess.”
“I know Spike, but I promised Rarity I’d find out what was wrong with her.” She sighed, dropping another book into the pile.
“Rarity was buried yesterday…she passed away three days ago. Even if you DID find out what happened, it wouldn’t do her any good.”
“I’m sorry. I made a promise, and whether she’s there or not, I intend to keep it. What if it happens to somepony else?”
“She was just sick, Twilight.”
“There HAS to be more to it than that. It isn’t possible for somepony to pass away with such minor symptoms. Besides, that doesn’t explain the gray mane or the shattered element of generosity.” Twilight dove back into the books, swimming and digging through them until a knock at her door shook her concentration.
She opened it. “Hello girls, you’re back early. I would have thought Fluttershy would have kept you most of the afternoon…is something wrong?”
Sweetie Belle looked at her friends before solemnly taking a step into the library. “She…wasn’t at the park. We went to see her, but she was acting strange.”
“Strange?” Twilight tilted her head in confusion. “What exactly do you mean? Was she mean to you?”
“Yes!” Scootaloo blurted out.
Sweetie Belle glared at the filly. “Only because Scootaloo thought it would be a smart idea to just force her way into her house and demand to be able to help!”
“Alright…she wasn’t mean. But that doesn’t mean she wasn’t angry.” Scootaloo commented.
Twilight let out a little chuckle. “Well I can’t exactly blame her. If you pushed my door in and barged into my home, I’d be a little upset too.”
The pegasus filly rolled her eyes. “This is a library Twilight…people do that all the time.”
“And Fluttershy’s house isn’t a library. You should have more respect.”
Apple Bloom looked at her, then down at the ground. “I know…we apologized. But she really was acting strange. She wouldn’t open the door, and her house was really dark.”
Twilight thought for a moment. “Well, maybe she was taking a nap?”
“I guess that makes sense.” Apple Bloom replied. “But why would she leave a slice of cake on her doorstep?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Oh dear. Pinkie delivered that this morning. She told me she left it there.”
Scootaloo let out a sigh. “Well it was still there when WE arrived. Are you sure that Fluttershy hasn’t been replaced by some cake hating alien?”
Twilight laughed. “Now what kind of silly-“ Her eyes shot open, pupils dilating. “I’m sorry girls, but I need to do some emergency studying. If you come by tomorrow, I’ll be happy to welcome you in, but I need to be alone now.” She slammed the door, knocking the trio back from the force.
Scootaloo moaned and rubbed her backside. “Well THAT was rude…”
Twilight sparkle rapidly flipped through several books, stopping to look at her remaining collection of the Elements of Harmony. “It’s worse than I thought!” Fluttershy’s element was fully gray, and on the verge of shattering. “I don’t have much time!” She bolted out the door, charging through the still confused fillies on her doorstep, element in her mouth.
The crisp night air caressed Twilight’s mane as she galloped at full speed towards Fluttershy’s home, mane and tail whipping in the breeze. She skidded to a stop as Fluttershy’s residence came into view, looking at the choker in her mouth. “Oh, I hope I’m not too late!” Her front hooves pranced on the ground before she dashed off again. She panted heavily, refusing to let the burning sensation in her lungs slow her down. “Fluttershy! Please listen!”
She smashed through the front door, colliding with a wall and falling to the ground, dazed. She stood up after a second and shook herself off, looking around. It was far too dark to see anything. She could see that the windows had been covered by curtains, and that the smell of dust permeated the air. “It’s only been two days…how could it be so dusty in here?”
She felt a thumping on her leg. “Huh?” The unicorn looked down. “Oh, Angel…where’s Fluttershy? I’m worried sick about her.”
The rabbit quickly hopped away, leading her out through the back door. He pointed to a small bridge overlooking a small creek that ran behind her house. Atop the bridge, she could see a shadowy figure sitting. “She’s alright…” The purple mare’s heart skipped a beat as she began to run towards her friend. “Fluttershy!”
All at once her heart stopped cold, her hopes instantly plummeted. She could feel the choker she was carrying shake heavily, finally cracking and shattering loudly. She stopped in her tracks, tears welling up in her eyes before running down her face. She could now make out the figure was indeed Fluttershy.
“Fluttershy…no…” She sniffled, watching helplessly as the pony in the distance fell forward, laying flat on the bridge, remaining still.
