A Purrfect Date?
By Misterebony
Based on a Tom and Jerry episode
Life sure is funny sometimes. You never know just how it will turn out. For Chip, it seemed his life was likely over. The mouse had been caught sneaking cheese out of the fridge and was now all tied up with pink string, laying in a box beside everything needed to make a great big mouse treat.
For Champ, life was just beginning. He sighed as he looked at the picture of his sweetheart again. For the black and orange striped cat, it was a wonderful thing to be in love. Soon he would show her how much he loved his girl. He fingered the ring he was going to give her.
"Don't feel bad chip, you are helping a good cause. Besides, not like I intend to do away with you. You should know I mean to reform you."
"Yeah... so I can be her eternal diet." Chip groaned.
"Now you're getting into it!" Champ said, not catching the mouse's disapproval of the situation. "Well, we better hurry. We got a date with a cutie!" Before Chip could respond, the feline put the top box on and headed out the door. He was practically skipping out it, His heart beating faster than ever. He held the box in one hand and the ring in another. With a song in his heart he went right to her door and knocked three times.
The feline that answered was a vision. She had pale white fur and golden eyes. She was slightly plump but not overly so, and had a smile that could knock your head off. This smile was what Champ saw first, his heart beating wildly as he was showed inside.
"Heelllllo handsome." She purred, hugging him slowly around the neck and kissing him. "I have been waiting g for you."
Champ nodded. "And I You. I brought you something special." He smiled and took the heart shaped box and opened it. Chip wriggled inside, tied with pink ribbon. Around him was some ketchup, mustard, a big bun, and some reformation pills, as well as a mini cookbook on mice, in case she wanted something other than a mouse sandwich. She looked at him for some time...
And then...
"Oh how could you!?" She shouted. Champ blinked as she removed the mouse. "The very idea of making me hurt a cute little baby!"
Champ blinked. "Wait... what?" He said, and then he remembered. The last baby They watched looked just like a mouse! He opened his mouth to explain the situation but was promptly slapped.
"You cruel beast! You monster!" She said, snatching a rolling pin. Champ eeeped and ran out the door as fast as he could, but she was a good thrower. She nailed the back of his head, and had him seeing stars.
Now Chip was not a bad mouse. He could have taken advantage of the situation Right there. But instead he opened his mouth to explain her folly. Unfortunetly, she shoved a pacifier in it, keeping him mfrom talking.
"There there little snookums." She said in a motherly voice, rocking him in her big, soft, furry arms. "No need to let that mean child abuser hurt you anymore. Imagine, me pretending Your a mouse!"
Chip went wide eyed. Was this cat really that silly! He looked nothing like a kitten!
And then he glanced at a nearby picture. On it was a black furred feline and her new baby. HE LOOKED JUST LIKE A MOUSE.
Uh oh........
*************
Champ watched in the window as poor Chip was placed in a crinkly little diaper, still having the pacifier in his mouth. Worse, he could not get it out, thanks to the bootsies on his hands and feet. Try as he Might the slippery mittens could not grip the handleless pacifier.
Champ tapped his chin. Why oh why did her cousin have to have a kid Who looked like a mouse? He had to set things straight, and as soon as possible. He saw the box was still there, though the fork and knife he had included, as well as the condiments, were gone. Bit the book and the bun were still there. He also saw that the reformation pills were there as well, left on the counter. He thought up a plan...
And eeked as the lady cat came to the window, eyes glaring. Champ eeked before he was smacked down with a big frying pan.
"Peeping tom." She growled, closing the curtains. So much for plan A.
**************
Chip sighed unhappily as he was fed warm milk from a bottle. One he hated warm milk, and two this treatment was Getting worrysome.
"Good thing I Still have my baby formula." The lady cat said."should still he good."
Chip was not about to say it wasn't. This beat being eaten. Not by much yes but still...
Meanwhile Champ headed for another window. Ever so carefully, he opened it. He did not like the idea of breaking in But this was getting out of hand!
One he had it opened, he was about to climb in when he saw the lady cat. He eeked and ducked down, keeping his paws on the windowsill. But that was a big mistake, as the female cat closed the window RIGHT ON HIS PAWS! He pulled them out and examined the flattened digits, while the female rubbed her hands.
"Whew! So much for That. I was sure I closed it to keep the draft out..."
************
Chip was about out of his mind. He was in a whole.body yellow nappy suit, bonnet included. He was sitting in a high chair, choking down strained vegetables, feeling like the whole idea of being eaten was sounding better now. Anything had to be better than this terrible food!.
"Such a cute baby! Almost time for a diaper change and a nap!" The lady cat said. Chip groaned some as she went to get the changing supplies. But as he watched her, he saw the world around him go dark and himself be lifted. He knew who had lifted him up, and hoped he could get him out.
Indeed, Champ had snuck in and had grabbed Chip. He was determined to prove to the lady cat that the mouse really was a noise and not a kitten. But he eeked as he felt a hand grab his neck.
"Drop him you lousy kidnapper!" She shouted. Champ did so, handing an annoyed chip over. She then growled and pointed at the door.
"But.... but...." He started, then began to turn. "I just wanted to pro..."
SLAM. The door shut. Champ sighed and sat, heart broken.
But his luck was about to change.
*************
Lying naked on the changing table, Chip's dignity was gone as he was powdered. The lady cat smiled sweetly and picked him up, smiling.
"Oh you are so cute." She said with a smile as she hugged him. Then she gave him a little kiss.
"And so.... so sweet...." she said, licking her lips. She kissed again to check the flavour. Chip was sweet, tender...... deeeeeeeeelicious! She smacked her watering lips.
"So..... so sweet.... so yummy.... I could just eat you up!" She set him down and smiled. "Champ was giving me a mouse! My favorite food!"
"Yahoo!!!!" A voice said. She turned to the window and saw Champ cheering. She smiled and opened the window. "Oh Champ I am So sorry... I thought... can you forgive me?"
Champ smiled and held her. "Yeah... but the fingers and head will hurt for awhile. Still... its worth it." She kissed him and turned to Chip, who sighed.
"As for you little mouse." She said, sprinkling some pepper on him."I am sorry to you as well. I have a feeling you are no baby. Good thing to. I am kinda hungry."
She grabs a Burger bun from the box Champ brought, and placed the mouse on it. She licked her lips as she brought the sandwich to her mouth and opened wide. Chip let out a single squeak before the feline took a bite, moaning in delight at Tue taste of the tender, juicy mouse on her tounge. The lady cat chewed slowly, Champ watching her with a smile. She swallowed and looked at him with a soft, loving look.She opened the bur ger and put on a little mustard to enhance the flavour. Then, with a big bite, she shoved the rest of the Burger into her mouth, moaning and swaying as she chewed Chip up, swallowing after a long time of tasting and savoring her treat.
"Yummy." She said. "I'll save him in a gilded cage for us, and we will eat him every day."
Champ smiled happily and pulled out the other box, getting down on one knee. She gasped as he opened it to reveal a lovely golden ring.
"My love." He said, her still wide eyed with shock. "Will you marry me?"
She smiled and hugged him, nodding and kissing. They both purred and cuddled long into the night.
**********
Weeks later, Champ was decorating a fattened Chip with chocolate icing and sprinklers. He had been fattened on whipped creak and was laying on a sheet of dough. The lady cat sat nearby licking her lips as she watched her fiancée prepare the treat, and poor chip Had to just lay there and be food again.
"Oh he is such a scrumptious little mousie!" The feline said. "I hope he enjoys his new roommate."
Champ nodded. "Yeah, he can't be all by himself after all!" The feline Guy laughed, smiling at the shadow in the cage. After all, Champ had a purrfect date not too long ago. Why not let the little mouse who made it possible have a little reward?
THE END
