This has been a year of drastic changes for me. I am transgender, and I am now transitioning fully from male to female in real life. As of August 2018, I have begun living full time as a woman.
It’s time my profile picture reflected my female identity. I will be using an image for my profile which I created for my male cub character, Hans Bernerholdt, when he cross dresses as “Hannah Krause”. While Hans has probably been the character in my stories I most identified with, he will not be following my path to become female full time. The photograph in this entry is what I look like now in real life.
Going to leave my account name as DoggyStyle57 until I finish my current commissioned stories queue. After that, I will probably change the account name to something more obviously female.
This is a change that has been building for me since mid 2014. As I spent more and more of my real life presenting myself to the world as a woman, and generally passing quite well as a cisgender woman, it has become clear to me that ‘being female’ isn’t just a part time thing for me any more. It is the direction the remainder of my life needs to take. So starting in August of 2014, I began living full time as a woman, and started hormone therapy, taking estrogen supplements and testosterone blocking drugs as the first steps in a full medical transition. At five months into that process so far, I am happier now and more at peace with my life than I have been in many years.
However, as my life activities have changed, and as my hormonal levels shift more to female, I am finding that the way I look at erotica is changing as well. I still enjoy porn, including cub stuff. But it is getting much, much harder for me to write some of the erotic fiction that I was previously able to write quite easily. It is also harder to feel motivated to create my own erotic fiction or art. This is, I think, the root of the increasing case of writer’s block that has plagued me for the past year or more. Hopefully, once my body chemistry and life settle into a fully female mode, which should be late this year, I will be able to find a new balance in terms of what really interests me, and what sorts of art and erotic fiction I will be comfortable with and interested in producing.
So, please stay tuned, while my real life is under reconstruction. Hopefully, when the dust settles, I can become creative again.
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5 years, 2 months ago
29 Jan 2019 08:35 CET
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