Commission #36, Picture #1
For tehbrokenz
--
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The big kids were crying; like a poor squealing mouse
Of Christmas stockings, the chimney was bare,
Instead there hung sissies; by long stretched underwear
The children were beaten, wedgied; now void of their cred
Blushing with visions of stars circling their heads;
Calling for mamma in vain, while I sat in my cap,
Though Radio had settled his brain for a long winter's nap.
They swung from the mantle, like festive shield wipers,
Awaiting their fate, three snugly taped diapers!
When out of my room, they planned a prank with a clatter
I sprang from my bed to wreck their plans with a splatter.
Away to the stairs I flew like a flash,
To trip and toss Arryn into the trash.
A punch to the breast of Gabe, felt like new-fallen snow,
While Radio was beaten and thrust against the window below,
And what to his wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little moan and a shiver, he passed out real quick.
I delivered the pain, like an Macho St. Nick.
I wedgied and beat him till he woke, crying in pain,
While he whined and shouted, I called them by name:
"Now, Arryn! now, Gabe! now Radio you loser!
Prepare your butts for a turnabout much cooler!
To the top of the fireplace! Hang off the wall!
Now cry away! blush away! flail away all!"
As I dress you in your footie pajamas and let your briefs fly,
You sissies tried for a prank, but were left mounted to the sky;
So big kids beware when the young generation’s askew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
I hung them up all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
Sat in my undies, all comfy and warm,
To read you a story, just after the storm.
You big kids have failed, your pride has been lost.
Twas quite the huge shame, to be unaware of the cost.
Losers and sissies don’t get to prank winners.
You’ll never win, ever! You’re as green as beginners.
So, I’ll simply exclaim, while I admire this sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
---
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Keywords
male
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boy
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twas the night before christmas
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1
Details
Published:
5 years, 3 months ago
25 Dec 2018 08:29 CET
Initial: e4ee2dfefd3209bdb8d55e16efb8f27e
Full Size: 4a5cabeae67ac736ecb398ca57c4a4b2
Large: daf32beafa80ce5531975a37f9a91602
Small: c432fb41ca18b5829a955fcc0ff86c75
Stats
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